It's the 11th Anniversary of the Late Show and Dave received a lovely video congratulatory message in the mail. It was from Osama.

"Dave, congratulations on 11 great years on CBS. You've always been my favorite in late night TV. And speaking of late night TV, how about me as a replacement for Craig Kilborn? You better hurry, though - I'm this close it inking a deal with Comedy Central. Call my agent!
Oh, and death to America."

And with the Republican National Convention in town, the demonstrators were out in force. Did you see the footage? We see some actual footage of the demonstration, followed by Iraqi footage of shooting and protesting in the streets. Could happen.

And CNN is running a promo for their coverage of the Convention. Have you seen it?

"CNN is proud to bring you round-the-clock coverage of the 2004 Republican National Convention. Each night, we'll have everything you've come to expect from CNN . . . technical confusion . . . embarrassing audio problems. . . . and two full hours of Larry King's bull-djoy. CNN - America's Campaign Headquarters."

11 YEARS AT THE LATE SHOW - we compiled a timeline of some highlights over the past 11 years.
Aug. 30, 1993: First show at CBS
Sept. 2, 1993: CBS starts to wonder if they might have made a terrible mistake.
October 24, 1993: My first laugh at CBS.
Feb. 1, 1995: Oprah says she can't come on the Late Show because she's under the weather.
Dave takes a moment to laud the loveliness of Ms. Winfrey. He then wonders what the story is with that Steadman guy. Dave reveals, "I'd trade places with him in a minute." A surprised Paul says, "You would!?" Dave answers, "For a shot at Oprah?! Sure!"

Feb. 2, 1995: Oprah says she can't come on the Late Show because she has prior commitments.
Feb. 3. 1995: Oprah says, "Look, I'm not coming on your damn show, Okay? I hate your guts!"
March 11, 1996: During my contract dispute, Cheech Marin takes over the role of "Dave."
May 6, 1997: My current hairpiece celebrates its third anniversary.
April 24, 1998: Doctors adjust my medication after guests complain about my behavior.
July 10, 1999: My long-time co-host Kathie Lee Gifford retires.
Sept. 20, 1999: Due to technical problems with CBS' broadcast signal, I appear for entire month with mustache and large mutton chops.
Mutton chops always make me laugh.
June 14, 2004: Things get a little "weird" when Paris Hilton and I see each other for the first time since making our sex video.
Aug. 30, 2004: We finally don't give a rat's ass anymore.

BIFF HENDERSON AT THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION
Biff congratulates Dave. "For what?" wonders Dave? Biff: "For your 11th Anniversary. Dave laughs, already forgetting the big day. Dave reminds us that Biff has been with him from the very beginning.
How are things going at the Convention?
Biff: "If you thought nothing was happening at the Democratic Convention in Boston, there ain't really nothing happening here.
Has Biff seen any celebrities? Biff says he saw Tom Brokaw, who wishes to relay to Dave he enjoyed fly-fishing with him. Dave laughs and says he and Tom Brokaw did some fly-fishing in Montana. In two hours, Dave caught two rainbow trout. Tom caught about 30.
I bought myself a fly-fishing rod after I saw the film, "A River Runs Through It." Then the twins came. The fly-fishing rod has been in the attic ever since.

How is the security? Biff says you get frisked as soon as you enter. Walk ten feet and you're frisked again. Another ten feet and they frisk you again and start playing with you and stuff." Dave has him explain, 'what do you mean, 'playing with you'?" Biff says, "Well, they wish they were."
What does Biff have for us tonight? It's a clip of Biff hugging Republican babes.

Back from commercial, Dave says the Convention was supposed to bring on really bad traffic jams, but so far it hasn't been bad. Big laugh back in the shack and from those in the studio audience.

And now for the inside scoop. Back from commercial, Dave wanted to see a traffic jam due to the Convention. To the sharp-eyed Late Show viewer, he/she would have noticed there were a bunch of cars on one of the bridges behind Dave. We were to get a LIVE shot of the bridge when Dave called for a shot of a traffic jam. Since it wasn't discussed during the break, we didn't think he would be calling for the shot. Therefore, the camera wasn't in place when he mentioned the traffic jam and asked for the shot. When the shot wasn't ready, Dave decided to start the ACT over again and we should have the shot of the bridge ready when he asked. So we restart the ACT 3 and Dave mentions how the Republican Convention was to create all sorts of traffic problems . . . "but so far it hasn't been bad." He then introduces Carly Patterson.

CARLY PATTERSON: She's only 16 and she's the world's greatest gymnast. I always think that anybody 16 shouldn't be the greatest in the world at anything. It makes me think that if I started training for something right now, in ten years I could be the best in the world. I don't think that's possible. Anyway, Carly Patterson IS the best in the world, having won the Gold medal in the Women's Gymnastics All-Around. Plus, she seemed so much like a regular kid! Very impressive. She spoke about the Olympic experience, the reaction back home, and her Russian competitor who she thought may have been a bit of the sore loser. Nice kid, Carly is. And she reminded me of Amanda Bynes.

JEFF FOXWORTHY: Lots of simple yet funny jokes. He hooked onto a gimmick and has run a million miles with it. Nice job, Jeff. I always think I'm not going to like him that much but every time he's on I find myself laughing. He had some stuff about a 62-year-old woman getting a boob job, the similarities and differences between kids and seniors, visiting New York, followed by a request from Dave for some "You might be a red-neck if . . . ."
You can see Jeff Foxworthy on his new TV program, "Blue Collar TV" on the WB. It sounds good. He says nothing is too stupid for the show. And I like stupid.

ACT 5: It's time for the Late Show 11th Anniversary Audience Highlight. We asked you to choose the greatest moment from the Late Show's 11-year history. The votes are in, and your choice is . . . . Dave's June 27th, 2000 interview with Jim Belushi. What a night!
This has been the Late Show 11th Anniversary Audience Highlight. Thanks for watching and drive safely.

LL COOL J: From his CD, "The Definition," LL Cool J performed with high energy, "Head Spring."

And that was our show for Monday, August 30, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

Driving in to work today was a complete breeze. The roads were like a Sunday morning at 7 AM. Until I hit the city. Sure it was easy getting in, but there was no place to put the car once you got in. 57th Street, a major artery, no parking on either side of the street. 8th Avenue, no parking either side. Broadway, no parking either side. 7th Avenue, no parking either side. 6th Avenue, no parking either side. From 57th Street south to at least 23rd, no parking on these major Avenues. I got to scratching my head, wondering how many delegates were coming to the convention. The Madison Square Garden only holds about 20,000. The city can absorb that with no problem. The Knicks and the Rangers fill out the arena whenever they play. So why is the city in over-kill with the crackdown on parking and traffic? The President is a thousand miles away. He won't be in town till Wednesday. Such a waste; this convention is a total inconvenience to every working person in the city. So how many delegates are coming? Estimates place it with family and friends, the total will approach 50,000. And guess how many people avoided coming to the city or skedaddled out of here because of the convention? At least twice that much. So why the overkill? Because when it comes to politicians, politicians think very highly of themselves. Everyone else can suffer just as long as the politicians are comfy and taken care of. The worker-bees are inconvenienced and abused. Those wearing the white shoes and white belts are bowed to, as if we are lucky to have them here. There are less people in the city, less money being spent on goods and merchandise, and more city tax money being spent on police overtime. Mayor Bloomberg can sing and dance all he wants but having the convention in New York City is a money loser. The big politico party benefits the city politicians and no one else. If the 50,000 delegates, family and friends weren't here this week, 100,000 other people would be.
Once again, the city can do what ever it wants. Just don't screw up my commute.

And who is the genius that decided it would be a good idea to have the Republican National Convention the same week as the U.S. Tennis Open, along with the Yankees and Mets both playing at home? Let's stretch and abuse the patience of the city Police force as much as possible. And then after 4 days of forced overtime, standing in the stifling humidity and putting up with all this nonsense, people wonder why a certain police officer didn't reply nicely when asked, "But why can't I cross the street? I pay your salary!"

While CBS was broadcasting the Convention speech by Senator John McCain and former NYC Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, NBC was showing "Last Comic Standing." Glad to see the Peacock has their priorities in order. Tonight the 3 networks each have the convention from 10-11:00 PM EST.

HEY HEY HEY! Hold on minute. Someone just told me only CBS-New York carried the convention from 10-11:00 PM. Is that right? I guess the Tiffany Network has their prioritie a little screwy, too. ABC had football. Can't argue with that.

I'm watching the Olympics Sunday afternoon. It's the Water Polo finals, Hungary vs. Italy. Hungary wins in a close contest. Celebration. The Hungary coach is jubilant, running along the side of the pool. One of his players approach. I immediately suspect the player will throw the winning coach into the water, which I quickly surmise is a tradition in Water Polo. Does the player throw the coach into the water? I don't know because at the moment they meet, player and coach, we cut to a shot of other players in the pool. We then quickly cut back to the coach and player who are now in the pool. This was the first Water Polo match I had ever watched, yet I was able to sense something was about to happen when the player met the coach. Unfortunately, the director hadn't a clue. He/she missed the shot. And how do I know he/she missed the shot? Because he/she quickly cut back to the player and the coach after they had already fallen in to the pool.

On a brighter note, during a Yankee game the other day when a guy on third scored on a double, the camera stayed on the ball bouncing along the outfield wall instead of showing the runner walking across home plate. I nearly jumped out of my seat with joy. I don't know if I ever saw that before.