AUDIENCE SHOW AND TELL
AS&T #1: Shelly Oliverson from Salt Lake City, Utah. She’s a stay-at-home mom of two. She has 2 boys, and one has a birthday today. And she’s here in New York City. Go figure. Says Shelly, “Sometimes you just gotta get out of the house.” Dave offers her the chance to say hello to her boys. Shelly says hello. Long time viewers of the LATE SHOW should have known what was coming next. Dave looks into the camera and says, “What are you doing up so late!? You should be in bed!”

What does Shelly have for us? She has a broomstick trick. While holding each end of the broomstick, Shelly can step backwards over the broomstick without letting go of the ends. With some music from Paul, Shelly performs her trick. Looking at it, I said, “That’s easier than it looks.” We took another look at the trick in slow motion. I then said, “Uhh, no, I’m wrong. That’s harder than it looks.”

AS&T #2: Dan Rohner of Dubuque, Iowa. And what’s the capital of Iowa? Des Moines. Dubuque, Des Moines, what, is that French country? Dan says a French Canadian by the name of Julian Dubuque settle in the area many years ago and the locale was named after him. Ahhh, Dave likes a guy who knows his history and surroundings. What’s Dan doing in New York City? Dan came to run in the marathon last Sunday with his son. Dave likes the idea of a father and son running together in a marathon. Dan’s time was 4:09. His son ran in the low to mid 3 hours, perhaps 3:20 . . . I missed it. What does Dan have for us? Dan says he was an extra in the film, Field of Dreams. We see a clip. We find Kevin Costner looking out onto the snowy field outside his home. Inside, a Christmas party is taking place with neighbors and friends. One attendee in the background, out of focus, is Dan Rohner.

When Dan says he was an extra in the film Field of Dreams, I was expecting to see a red arrow pointing to one of the hundreds of cars lined up in the dark in the final scene.

AS&T #3: Peter Tsalimopoulos of Toronto, Canada. Dave always speaks highly of Toronto, calling it one of the finest towns in all North America. Dave notices the poppy Peter is wearing on his shirt. Peter explains it is in honor of Canada’s Remembrance Day to pay tribute to their Veterans. Paul, too, is wearing a poppy. (Remembrance Day is also celebrated in the U.K., New Zealand, and Australia . . . . I think.) Peter works at a bank. Dave asks, “Ever get locked in the vault?” After some bank and money talk, we are ready for the Show and Tell.

Peter says he has something he calls “The Canadian Tongue Thumper.” Interesting name. Paul denies knowing what this Canadian tongue trick is all about. Peter faces the camera, curls his tongue, sticks it out and makes it pulsate like a beating heart. Says Dave; “It looks like you coughed up your heart!”

And that was Audience Show and Tell.

Have you been seeing the promos for Thursday’s special episode of E.R.? Dave is souring on this once very popular program. At one time the story lines were realistic. Now they are way out of touch. Tonight, they tried to rein it back in with a thrilling tale, though Dave thinks he knows how it’s going to end. We see the commercial they’ve been running.

“Tonight on a special ‘ER’, one critical patient’s case unfolds in real time, and the doctors have only 60 minutes to save him. Will they succeed? Yasser Arafat guest-stars on an all-new ‘ER.’ Tonight at 10, only on NBC.”

“Madonna issued a statement calling for the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq. Inspired by Madonna’s example, Britney Spears likewise demands a recalculation of the third-quarter U.S. gross domestic product in light of the smaller-than-expected trade deficit and record-setting exports.
A message from Britney Spears.”

MATTHEW BRODERICK: Dave asks about his Ferris Buehler movie and the jaguar that rolled off the cliff? Was it an actual “jaguar”? I put it in quote because I missed the car-type they were talking about. I sort of remember the scene. A really nice expensive car rolls out the back of the garage down a cliff. The car is ruined. I believe the car was a Jag but I could be wrong. So, was it really a Jag? Matthew says it was a kit car, a Ford engine with a fake Jag top. Unfortunately, the car didn’t work all that well and more than once in the film they would hop in to go for a ride but the car wouldn’t start.

Matthew also worked with Marlon Brando in the film The Freshman. He remembers meeting him for the first time. It was in someone’s apartment to discuss the film. They were all waiting for the mighty Marlon and naturally he was late. Everyone was trying to act cool but everyone was nervous to meet Mr. Brando. Then the door bell rang. It was Marlon. The door was opened and there was Marlon on his hands and knees, dressed in a velour sweat suit and wearing a cowboy hat, begging forgiveness for being late. It’s was an odd first meeting. Matthew then does a couple very funny Marlon Brando impersonations.

How is Matthew and Sarah Jessica Parker’s little one? He is now 2 years old and Dave wonders if one to two is as great at zero to one? Matthew says there’s a bit more running around and there are a lot of “Why” questions. No matter what you answer, it can be followed up with “Why?” Eventually, you just have to throw up your hands and give up. You realize you don’t know anything. You don’t know why. You don’t know the reason. Matthew then told a story about his son asking where he was going. Matthew answered that he was going to work. The young boy looks up at his dad and says, “Good bye, little man” and went to drinking his sippy cup.

“The Foreigner” --- It’s a play about a guy getting away from it all in the woods of Georgia who pretends not to know English. That story line sounds familiar. I think Al Pacino did the same thing when he met with the producers of The Godfather for the first time.

I saw Matthew Broderick sip from the mug two times tonight. There was a time in his career when he would sip 7, 8, 9 times a visit. He’s cut way back since the 90’s. Other big sippers: Dana Carvey, Michael J. Fox, and George Carlin.

ROSARIO DAWSON: She’s in the film Alexander. It opens November 24th. I read in yesterday’s papers that she was arrested when the Republican Convention was in town in August. I think she made an appearance in court the other day.

Rosario was in Spain for the running of the bulls in Pamplona. It sounds like something I would have done in my younger years but now, later in life, I find I’d rather be entertained than be the entertainer. I’d rather watch. During the segment, I kept wanting to reach through the monitor to move a strand of hair off her face. Rosario kept making a swipe at it but the strand was coming from the south side of her part in her hair and not the north side like she thought. She’d make a gesture to move it but would keep missing, or she would hit it but push it the wrong way. She eventually got it. Right before Dave said thanks for coming.

ACT 5: Alan: “It’s time for ‘Words of Inspiration from Late Show Cameraman Dave Dorsett.’”
Dave Dorsett at the camera. He is perplexed. He says to the camera, “No one told me anything about this. What am I supposed to say? I’m working! A little notice would’ve been nice.”
Alan: “Thanks for those inspiring words, Dave! This has been ‘Words of Inspiration from Late show Cameraman Dave Dorsett.’ Tell your friends!”

LOS LONELY BOYS: From their self-titled CD, Los Lonely Boys, Los Lonely Boys performed “More Than Love.”

And that was our show for Thursday November 11, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

I’m running out to the supermarket last night and my wife yells, “Don’t forget to pick up some Sweet N Low.” I say, “But I’m going to the supermarket. I’m not going to work!”

I told that true-story joke a long time ago in the Wahoo. It happened to me again last night so I repeated it.

Oooh, and speaking of old jokes, that 57-year-old lady who gave birth to twins reminds me of an old joke I used when another older woman gave birth.
- One good thing about giving birth at that age, you don’t have to bend over to breast feed.
- I wonder . . . . is the milk curdled?

Now that Pierce Brosnan is done with the James Bond, who to replace him? I suggested Viggo Mortensen. I asked for your ideas.

From Ed Mehling of Phoenix, Arizona:

“My wife drools over this guy... Clive Owen. He's got the looks, the accent, and he's not too young but young enough to be able to do 4 or 5 sequels.”

”I've been waiting for someone like yourself, with lots of pull in the entertainment industry, to ask who my choice would be for the next Bond, James Bond. I'm sure my words in your ear will make their way directly to Cubby Broccoli or whoever casts these things.
Adrian Paul is perfect (TV's Duncan McLeod of the Clan McLeod, aka The Highlander). He has the debonair thing down pat, he knows martial arts, he's extremely easy on the eyes, he has the accent, and he looks just as good in a tux as out of one. Thanks for asking!”

I called our resident LATE SHOW Canadian, Chris Maloney from Research, and asked what he knew about Remembrance Day. He said it’s Canada’s Veterans Day/Memorial Day. The poppy comes from the poem, “In Flanders Field,” written by Canadian Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae.

In Flanders Fields By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918) Canadian Army

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

FRIDAY’S CBS MAILBAG:
LETTER #1: From Michelle Gerry of Jackson, Mississippi:
“Dear Dave, When is ‘The Late Show with David Letterman’ being released on DVD?”
LETTER #2: From Troy Sims of Wichita Falls, Texas:
“Dave, Why does it seem that you get to hug all the pretty girls, but Paul never gets to?”
LETTER #3: From Christopher Hurley of Boone, North Carolina:
“Dear Dave, Have you ever wanted to be President?”
LETTER #4: From Steve Vitullo of Terre Haute, Indiana:
“Why does Rupert always pick an attractive girl to be on the show?”

FRIDAY’S WILL IT FLOAT: Item – a 4 pound jar of grape jelly. Discuss.