STUMP THE BAND: We stole it from Mr. Carson. We promise to give it back once we are done with it. Paul must have gotten the wrong memo because he's prepared to play another Carson bit, Carnac. Paul holds an envelope up to his head and read the answer to the question inside: "A six month old baby, a Russian fishing boat, and Ron Artest." Paul opens the envelope and reads the question, "Name a crawler, a trawler, and a brawler."

STB #1: Everett Nelson of Vancouver, Washington. He has "ARIZONA" in print across his chest. Why? His son, sitting next to him, is a student at Arizona. Dave says to the student that when he becomes a dad someday he can have a state on his chest too. Everett is a school teacher and his song is: "Hexacola Missawana."
Bruce Kapler believes he knows the song. Singing to the tune of the Eagles "Desperado," Bruce tries his best to get Hexacola Missawana.
Unfortunately, it is not the song Everett had in mind. He was impressed with the effort, though, admitting, "You know, I should just sit down now." Everett sings his song. The first thing that came to my mind was, "He's a school teacher 10 months a year, a camp counselor the other two." Nice job by Everett.

STB #2: Molly Myer of Phoenix, Arizona. Her song: "Life is a Rock." Felicia volunteers. Did you jump ahead and know where she would be going? Singing a bit from Bob Seger's "Like a Rock," Felicia does her best to find Molly's "Life is a Rock." She didn't find it. Molly performs her song and it was rapid-fire, rat-a-tat, super fast song. It made me think of a speeded up version of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire."

STB #3: Terry Pye of North Fort Myers, Florida. He reminded me of the guy in Human Tricks who spit the cue ball out of his mouth.
What is Terry's song? "Donald, Where's Your Trousers." I'm not sure why but Terry pronounced 'trousers' as 'troozers.' Paul made a stab at this song but just missed. Terry sang the song with his eyes closed. I wished my ears were closed. I'M KIDDING. IT'S JUST A JOKE.

Every network is going crazy with their holiday specials. Name a network and they'll be having a special. In fact, Dave tries to name all the networks, both on regular and cable. Even C-Span has a holiday special. Featured on the C-Span holiday special will be a Robert F. Kennedy Oral History: Part 3 of 3; a presentation of the New America Foundation's holiday forum on Transnational Terrorism; and an encore presentation of Thomas Kuhn and Red Caveny's discussion on America's energy outlook for 2005.
C-Span: Celebrate the holidays with us.

And Jeopardy hasn't been the same since Ken Jennings lost. Did you see last night's program, the first without Jennings? The quality has slipped a bit. We see a clip. A rather simple question is asked. Cut to the 3 contestants who stand there mute. Nobody clicks in. The wait is tedious and long. Nothing. Finally, Nathan buzzes in. He says with some shame, "Uhh, I don't know."

SHARON REED: She's the Cleveland anchorwoman who dressed naked to report a news story for WOIO-TV in Ohio. It was for a photo shoot by artist Spencer Tunick. He likes to snap photos of large numbers of naked people in public. Inside a museum, this would be called "photographing choreographed scenes of public nudity." Inside a New York City police stationhouse, this would be called a 10-50 in progress. How did this all start? When the news station learned that Spencer Tunick was coming to Cleveland to do a shoot, they held a meeting to discuss how they would cover the story. They wondered why thousands of people would want to be a part of this? There was a curiosity factor. She and the others said they didn't get why someone would want to do this. They figured most of the home viewers wouldn't get it either. They then considered doing a first-person account of the nude photo shoot. Sharon was asked if she would consider it, and after some deliberation on her part, she agreed.

Right now I'm picturing the scene inside the meeting. I picture a fat, bald, old guy sitting next to an elderly matron-like woman sitting next to a guy who takes up two seats. Then I picture Sharon Reed. I believe Sharon did us all a big favor when she volunteered to be the one.

Will this lead to more nakedness for her on the news? "Been there, done that," says Sharon, adding that there are new challenges to meet so why do it again.

Dave has a clip of the report shown a few weeks ago on their news show. Afterwards, Dave, impressed, says "Very nice." Dave asks how this is all right in light of all the noise made over the Janet Jackson incident at the Super Bowl. Sharon says something about "safe harbor." The news report followed all the FCC guidelines, showed it when children wouldn't ordinarily be watching, was it was a tasteful and artistic story. Plus, it got great ratings.
How many people gathered for the naked photo? Says Sharon, "Over 3,000." Dave asks with hope, "Did you get any names?"

Back from commercial, Dave asks Paul how he thinks that went. Paul says, "She's got a smoking bod." Dave says a big sadly, "I felt like . . . like . . . she didn't care for me."
All Paul can add to that is, "And she had a hot bod."

TYRA BANKS: She's the creator and host of the UPN's "America's Next Top Model." It's on Wednesday nights at 8:00. She chooses the final 14 to be on the show and from there they are narrowed to One Top Model! It's the #1 show on the UPN.
What was Tyra's first modeling gig? It was something called the Glam Slam. She acted like a feisty feline. The designer thought she ruined the show.
She also hates chocolate.
And she had a boyfriend who cheated on her. Dave is floored by this. How . . why . . . for what reason would any guy cheat when he has Tyra?
Tyra also has a talk show in the works. It will deal with women's issues. I have a feeling that each show will end with "it's the men's fault."

ACT 5: Please enjoy this entertaining highlight of tomorrow evening's 'Late Show with David Letterman.'
(We see tomorrow's clip of Dave saying goodnight.)
It's a 'Late Show' you won't want to miss!"

LYLE LOVETT: From his current CD, "My Baby Don't Tolerate," Lyle Lovett performed "In My Own Mind." I found it to be a nice, slow drive through the country, song. I need to get some more Lovett into my life. I liked it.

And that was our show for Thursday, December 2, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

As a Yankee fan, I hope Pedro Martinez signs with the New York Mets. This way he won't be a Yankee and he won't be a Red Sox.

The Mets are also thinking of signing first baseman, Richie Sexson. It'll be interesting to see who has more strike outs: Pedro with his pitching or Sexton with his batting.

To close up the Herbie/Hermey discussion for 2004.
It's been established that the elf's name is Hermey. But the elf is referred to as "Herbie" in enough places to make it a somewhat interesting topic. . . . as long as it is not overdone.

From Kevin Fontanazza of Butler, New Jersey.

"I watched Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer about an hour ago, and I listened to whether or not it was Herbie or Hermey. When you first meet him, the big green guy is yelling at him and goes 'Herbie doesn't like to make toys!' At that point they all say it. You can clearly hear that they all pronounce the B in Herbie. However, about 20 minutes or so later, Rudolph introduces him as Hermey (maybe it's cause he talks a little odd it sounded differently). I definitely think it's Herbie. Don't agree? Watch in the beginning when you first meet him...and you be the judge."

Oh my gosh! Has something happened to Alan Kalter? Watch Friday night to find out!

FRIDAY'S CBS MAILBAG
LETTER #1: From Stacey Bettis of Lonoke, Arkansas: "Dear Dave, if you could be any past President, who would you be?"
LETTER #2: From Andrew Bishop of Christ Church, New Zealand: "What is your most memorable moment at CBS?"
LETTER #3: From John Brinley of High Ridge, Missouri: "Hi, Dave, Any chance of Richard Simmons coming back for a Thanksgiving Special?"
LETTER #4: From Craig Moyzee of Brockville, Ontario: "Do you stay up every night to watch your own shows?"

WILL IT FLOAT? Item: 22 ounces of baby powder --- in a plastic container.

Typing up Friday's mailbag, the name of the writer of Letter #1, Stacey Bettis, looked familiar. I did a quick check of this year's Wahoos and found that she had a letter read on May 26, 2004.

LETTER #1: From Stacey Bettis of Lonoke, Arkansas
"Dear Dave, if Bill Clinton's book is over 900 pages long, how long will the David Letterman book be?"
- I don't think Dave has plans of writing a book, but Billy Joel recently put pen to paper and authored this Childrens' Book, "Daddy Hurt the Car Again." On the cover is a drawing of Mr. Joel with his son.

Congratulations, Stacey!