AUDIENCE SHOW AND TELL
A&S#1: Colleen Heck of Sacramento, California. She says Governor Arnold has made Sacramento an interesting place to be these day. She's an attorney involved with toxic waste clean-up. Well, she certainly came to the right place. What does Colleen have to Show and/or Tell? Back in 1969, Colleen was named the City of Sacramento Jump Rope Champion. And she has a newspaper to prove it. We see a newspaper photo of a young Colleen winning the championship. And, surprise surprise, Colleen has a jump rope with her tonight to show her stuff! When did she last jump rope? Colleen answers, "This morning." Colleen does a couple quick jumps with a few cross-overs thrown in to prove her merit. Nice job. I can do that, too. Unfortunately, when I was showing the neighborhood kids my prowess with the jump rope, I twisted my ankle. I didn't let on, but I had to stand there with them for a half-hour without moving. When they finally went on to do something else, I limped back to the house.

A&S#2: Shaun Rosemann of Salt Lake City, Utah. Ah, Utah. What's happening in Salt Lake City now that the Olympics left town? Not much. Anything exciting in Salt Lake City? Shaun says the Utah Jazz are not so good anymore. Ah yes, the Utah Jazz, the great oxymoron nickname of all team sports. Shaun is a student at Brigham Young University, studying Exercise Science. I played the Dave and said, "Exercise Science . . . is that what they're calling 'Gym' these days?" Dave didn't say it. I lost at "Play the Dave."
What does Shaun have for us? He spent two years in Mongolia and learned how to Mongolian Throat Sing. Is Shaun any good at it? He admits to being "about a C+." Dave says, "A C+. Well you came to the right place." Who taught him? Shaun credits a friend he met there named "Gombott." Gombott? Is that a common name in Mongolia? Shaun says it is. And does Gombott have a last name? Shaun says, "Yes. Olsen."
Shaun performs his throat singing. It's a low note that comes from deep down in your throat.

Vicki comes down to deliver the goods to Mr. Rosemann. She then stops to discuss the rap music the kids so enjoy today. She exits with the claim, "Tatts are for rats!"

A&S#3: David Berlin of Nissequogue, New York. David is a Tai Chi instructor. What is Tai Chi? Berlin explains it is concentrating your internal energy and directing it outward. Dave and David perform a simple form of Tai Chi; standing motionless looking like Dolly Parton. Dave wonders how this would subdue punks? Berlin explains that isn't what Tai Chi is all about; subduing punks. I may be wrong but I think I see people sometimes practicing Tai Chi along the banks of the Hudson River on my way to work. I always called it "Slow motion Jiu Jitsu."
What does David Berlin have for us? He can balance a penny on the tip of a wire hanger. But hold it! There's more. He will then swing the hanger around and around, keeping the penny on the hanger tip.
Dave invites Berlin up on stage to perform his trick. The penny is finally balanced and we're ready to go. He swings it around and around and then brings it to a stop. Oops. The penny went flying off. Good enough for today, though, because we have a show to put on and times becoming short. Stick around for the ACT 5. David Berlin will do it then.
Hey, before you try this at home, and I know you will, you need to find a wheat penny, one of those old pennies from the early 60s and before. You don't want to use one of those "new" pennies with the building on the back. I'm guessing there is a "sweet spot" on the "tails" side of the wheat penny which makes this easier to do. Good luck.

Did you see Regis this morning? The hours must be getting to the poor guy. Very odd this morning. Dave has a clip. We see a stagehand from "Live! With Regis and Kelly" bring out a life-size cut-out of Dave Letterman. Regis looks at the cut-out and mushes, "I love you. Do you love me?" Dave thinks the man may be going over the deep end.

Here's something new. It's "Pat Farmer's 'Kids Are Coached To Say The Darndest Things.'"
Announce: "It's time for 'Pat Farmer's 'Kids Are Coached To Say the Darndest Things.'" We cut to a scene of Pat sitting in a chair. Next to him, also seated, is a lad of about 8 years old.
Pat: "So, Jeff, who's your second grade teacher?"
Jeff: "Mrs. Harris."
Pat: "Do you like her?"
(Pause)
(Pat leans over and whispers something into little Jeffrey's ear)
Jeff: "Yeah, but somebody should tell her to lay off the doughnuts."
(funny sound effects; slide whistle; boing)
Announcer: "This has been 'Pat Farmer's 'Kids Are Coached to Say the Darndest Things.'"

A MESSAGE FROM DEMOCRATIC CHAIRMAN HOWARD DEAN – from "Hardball" with Chris Matthews.
Howard Dean: "Well, certainly the President can claim executive privilege. But in this case, I think with a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court, you can't play, you know, hide the salami, or whatever it's called."

HUH? "Hide the salami"? We can't play "Hide the salami"? Dave thought we COULD play "hide the salami." Shucks. No "Hide the salami" for you.

JON STEWART: From the very popular "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart"; Monday through Thursday on 11:00 PM on Comedy Central. It's Emmy Award-winning! Did Jon go out to the Emmy parties after the big win for both Comedy/Music/Variety show and for writing? Jon says he doesn't go out anymore, describing himself as "old and asthmatic." Does he get together with people from other shows during Emmy weekend? Jon explains, "We're on Comedy Central, so. . . . no." One positive about winning an Emmy Award – it weighs 20 pounds and has 2 very sharp points coming out the top, yet you're allowed to bring it on the plane! Jon likes to walk up and down the aisle waving the Emmy trophy in people's face and say, "Couldn't bring your nail clippers on the flight, could you! HA!"
New dads Jon and Dave talk a bit about raising children and the difference between teaching the facts of life to boys and girls. Jon explains that with boys, it's easy. Simply tell them, "Repress it." Done. With girls, you have to first have tea with her and her little panda.
Jon wonders when do children, these little bundles of absolute joy, turn bad. When they are young, they are all happy and full of joy; the world is exhilarating. When we get old, we're crushed. The joy is zapped out of us. When does that happen? When does cynicism enter our lives? From personal experience, it happens before ten years old. The other day I was explaining to my daughter Danielle, 10 in a few weeks, the dangers of running across the street without looking. She was barely paying attention to me. When I was finished, she says without looking up, and with a bit of disgust in her voice, "And your point is . . .?" I laughed at her pointed disinterest and wondered where she picked up this acid retort. I was sure she was repeating something she heard and was not fully aware of what she was saying. It didn't take long before I realized that she knew exactly what she was talking about. She really was disinterested. She really didn't care what I had to say. She really thought I didn't know what I was talking about. "And your point is . . . ?" And I sit here wondering how my father would have reacted if I said that to him back in the 60's. I have a feeling I would have gotten his point in no time.
How did the President respond to Hurricane Katrina? Jon says the President's reaction was to have "a day of prayer." He expands, "I was under the impression that a hurricane is an act of God. God has already let his feelings known."
For some reason, I rarely watch "The Daily Show." I don't know why. I probably skip The Daily Show and watch the news instead. But now that I get a local news show on Channel 12 that runs throughout the day, I can get my news whenever I want. This frees up my 11:00 PM news viewing. So this week I've been looking for "The Daily Show" and am happy to report that it is quite funny. Good laughs throughout. It's on my list. I recommend you put it on yours.

ACT 5: It's David Berlin performing his Audience Show and Tell trick

DAVID GRAY: From his CD, "Life In Slow Motion," David Gray performed "The One I Love." I like David Gray. I like his drummer. The first time David Gray was on the show, I went out and bought his CD the next day, "White Ladder." I've only done that a handful of times in ten years.

And that was our show for Thursday, October 6, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

I was watching a bit of the Oprah a week ago. A guy was on who received a kidney transplant but then his body rejected it. This got me to thinking: Let's say I donate a kidney. The recipient rejects it a week later. Could I get my kidney transplanted back into me? Any doctors out there?

Hey! Don't miss Friday's show. I'm in it. Catch me if you can.

From Wednesday's show:
2. We here at the Late Show are always fighting with the CBS censors to get things on the air. We want to say certain things; the CBS censors don't want us to say things. This fall, we've reached a compromise: From now on, swearing and obscenities only in Finnish. A Finnish woman then enters and berates Dave and the show in her native tongue.

And now the Finnish translation of what she said:
"You stupid, no-good pantywaist, half-wit moron. Look at you with that nauseating horse face. What a twit. Sitting there on your stupid lazy ass, phoning it in, wasting everybody's damn time. You make me sick. What a worthless piece of garbage. Go to hell, jackass."

But hold it! There are no swear words in the above. The CBS censors wouldn't touch it even if it were in English, so why did we have it said in Finnish? According to my source, if we said a swear word in Finnish, we would have had to bleep it, too. The whole thing doesn't make sense, so don't try to analyze it. Let it go. Let it go.

The other day I asked about Dick Tracy's cartoon sign-off: "6-2-and even, over and out." What does it mean? From Ken McD of Baltimore, Maryland, who found a few Google references:
Starting from a betting phrase:
http://www.online-literature.com/ring-lardner/big-town/5
"They don't expect her [the horse] to win," says Daley, "but she's six, two, and even, and I'm going to play her place and show."

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4154/is_20041020/ai_n12404833 "Foley's N.Y. Pub may be the perfect Manhattan location for a Red Sox fan to quaff a pint of Guinness. The establishment, which is located across the street from the Empire State Building at 18 W. 33rd Street, has deep Sox ties, starting with it's Joe Morgan [the ballplayer]- inspired slogan: 'Where everything is six-two and even.'"

http://www.filmsite.org/malt3.html
Maltese Falcon (1941)
Cairo whispers into Gutman's ear - lending his final judgment to Spade's suggestion to give up Wilmer. Spade announces the stakes:
(To Wilmer) "Six, two and even, they're selling you out, sonny."
(To Gutman) "I hope you're not letting yourself be influenced by the guns these
pocket-edition desperados are waving around, because I've practiced taking guns away from these boys before so we'll have no trouble there."

Thank you, Ken McD. But does it answer the question as to what it means? From the first betting phrase, I'm guessing it means the odds are 6-to-1 the horse will win; 2-to-1 the horse will come in first or second; and even money the horse will finish at least third. 6-2-and-even. Still, I'll investigate more. Thanks for getting it started.

And one more thing. I hope sports broadcasters are reading this. In baseball after a close play at first base, during the replay one announcer should say "NOW" when the runner's foot touches first base and the other announcer say "NOW" when the first baseman catches the ball. Who ever says "NOW" first would determine if the ump made the right call. It's hard for one announcer to look at both the first baseman's glove and the runner at the same time and make the right call. Use your partner, work together, and you'll have a better chance of making the right call.

It's been reported that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are expecting a baby. Congratulations! That's gotta be happy news to Reverend Moon and the rest of the Scientologists!