CBS Logo

This Week's Show Recap:

   Mon    |    Tue    |    Wed    |    Thu    |    Fri   

Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Show #2515
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
Black | White


Matthew Fox; Brian Regan; and Jersey Girls.
PLUS: Out of Focus Olympic Highlight; New York City Condoms; What’s New with Harry Whittington; and Stephanie at the Olympics.

Paul is excited to have on the show tonight a performance from the Broadway musical, "Jersey Boys," a story about Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons. He's seen the show two times and plans to make a third visit real soon. Paul points out it is not one of those "juke box musicals" that are popular now. This show puts out a real story and the life and times of Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons. A few of them were small town gangsters and the show reveals that. Dave asks "Which of the Four Seasons did time?" Paul names two; "Spring and Summer." Paul repeats that he is going back to see the show for a third time. By this point, the conversation has gone on far too long and Paul senses we've run out of time. Paul thanks everyone and says, "Craig Ferguson is next."

By now you know that we are not allowed to show footage of the Winter Olympic Games since NBC owns all the rights to it. In fact, we're barely able to talk about the Olympics. Since the restrictions are so stringent, we had to find a way around the limitations. It is why we have come up with this: "The Out of Focus Olympic Highlights." Tonight we see United States Ice Dancers Tanith Belbin and Benjamin Agosto winning the silver medal. It is the first medal in ice dancing the U.S. has won in 30 years. Unfortunately, we only get to see the event out of focus. Coincidentally, when I watched this on NBC, I was so emotional and teary that it looked just like we saw here in the "Late Show Out of Focus Highlight."

Here's something a bit odd. The New York City Health Department has announced it till be marketing a New York City-brand condom. You'll be able to but them anywhere. Dave was quite impressed with the advertising campaign the Health Department has put out.

Female Announcer: “You line in the greatest city in the world, so you deserve the greatest condom in the world. Introducing the New York City condoms. Officially endorsed by the Department of Health, New York City condoms offer the pleasurable sensation you crave, the protection you need, and the peace of mind of knowing our product has been tested more than 10,000 times at our research facility in Chappaqua.”
(Big smiling photo of Bill Clinton)
New York City condoms: We do chicken right.”
Dave is all for free enterprise and the capitalist system but he really doesn't appreciate people taking advantage of a bad situation and capitalizing on it. And that's just what somebody did. Dave was in the toy store the other day and shows what he picked up. It's one of those games you shake and tilt where you try to fill in the holes by maneuvering the rolling the BB pellets. And it's the Harry Whittington game. Harry's face is covered with tiny holes. You have to try to fill in the holes with the bb's. Hours of fun!

Harry Whittington was released from the hospital this weekend after getting a body-full of birdshot from the Vice President. Doctors say there are still hundreds of pellets in his body and that fact became more apparent when Mr. Whittington made his first public appearance. We see a clip of Harry Whittington approach a microphone to speak to the press. It was hard to hear what he had to say because of the rolling and falling and clinking of the tiny bb birdshot.
I can't wait to see Harry Whittington take a drink of water.

We head over to Rupert's. Tonight we're playing Psychic Name That National Anthem. Rupert estimates there must be about 200 National Anthems out there. Since there are so many, we couldn't expect Rupert to participate. That is why we invited our famed Intuitive, Deborah Lynn to partake. Some of you may not know how Deborah Lynn got into the intuitive business. Some years ago she chased a raccoon onto her roof. The raccoon got stuck in her chimney and while she was trying to get at the critter, she was struck by lightening. Ever since, she's been able to see into the future. Tonight, she will try to predict what nation's National Anthem we are playing. We blindfold Ms. Lynn. Not sure why. She immediately goes into a trance. Does she feel anything? Does see feel any vibrations? Can she see anything? Deborah says she can see images and people, but it is not in focus. Dave explains that, unfortunately, NBC has the rights to the images and people in her visions. That's why what she sees is out of focus. She's at a dead end so Dave gives her a clue. "It is a cold place and the temperature can be found in the name of the country."
Deborah immediately guesses Iceland and she is right! Ms. Lynn wins some kind of massager and a Hello Deli deli platter. Did you notice the tomato centerpiece tonight? That's right; 5 slices. And in honor of the 2006 Winter Games, the 5 slices were arranged like the Olympic Rings.
And that's how we play "Psychic Name That National Anthem."

Places to buy the new New York City condoms:
Condom City
Bed, Bath, and Condoms
Just Condoms
Condoms N' Things
Condom Barn
Condom Depot
Condom and Barrell

STEPHANIE AT THE OLYMPICS: It's Day 11 at the Winter Olympic Games and Stephanie just got there. When we talked to Stephanie last night, the delay was very annoying and distracting. Tonight, we got most of the bugs worked out. There must be so much to do in Italy during the Olympics.
Behind Stephanie we see a beautiful building. Stephanie says it is a museum. Has she visited the museum? "No."
What did she have for lunch? "Pasta with huge chunks of meat in it."
What kind of meat? Stephanie isn't sure and guesses beef.
Meeting lots of people? Stephanie says she is, though most of them are drunk.
Do people ask Stephanie about Dave? "No."
What does Stephanie have for us tonight? She walks around Torino showing off her rolling back pack. And why not? What else is there to do in Italy?

MATTHEW FOX: He's from the big ABC hit, Lost, Wednesdays at 9:00.
Lost is filmed in Hawaii, and I guess if you're going to be lost anywhere, Hawaii is the place to be lost. If it were me on the show, I would be screaming, "Don't find me! Don't find me!" Who's in charge of finding them, anyway? Michael Brown and FEMA?
I haven't seen the show (I rarely watch TV except for the Yankees, some news, and whatever my girls are watching) but I know it's one of the big hits out there and the show won an Emmy Award in its first season. What I know about the show is a bunch of good looking people suffered a plane crash and ended up on this mysterious and deserted island. It sort of sounds like an episode of Scooby Doo. Lots of creepy stuff happens. What should we look for next? Matthew ain't saying. And he isn't saying because he doesn't know. The writers won't let them know what's coming next. It's a mystery to Matthew, too. (The writers used to do the same thing to Scooby.) Dave asks if it ends with them waking up and finding out it's all a dream or something like that. Matthew doesn't think so, but again, he has no idea. I'm looking forward to when they run into a heavily bearded Tom Hanks.
We see a clip from an upcoming episode of Lost. We see Matthew running through the island's jungle. He is being chased or is chasing something. Suddenly, Matthew stops cold. He sees something deadly in his path. It's Dick Cheney holding a rifle straight at Matthew. My goodness, maybe I'll start watching.
Matthew grew up in Wyoming and recently went back to do some backpacking with two friends and his father. Hid dad had a hip replacement about a year ago but the guy was able to keep up on the hike up the 11,000 foot mountain side. They hiked to some glacial lakes where they set down and did some fly fishing for golden trout. Trout isn't native to Wyoming but about 50 years ago a guy fell in love with the fish while visiting California and he brought them back and stocked the lakes in the mountains of Wyoming. It's a real prize to catch one of those.
Matthew Fox on Lost on ABC, Wednesdays at 9:00 PM.

BRIAN REGAN: Always a very funny comedian. Brian talked about Presidents' Day; Saddam's trial; the Antique Road Show; a rusty spatula; and String Theory on NOVA. Brian will be performing at the Warner Theater in Erie, Pennsylvania this Sunday, February 26th.

ACT 5: Alan announce: "Best wishes to Late Show Production Coordinator Mike McIntee, who celebrates a birthday today. Which makes it that much harder to tell you that I've been sleeping with your wife! Happy birthday, Mike . . . and sorry."

In my 11 years here at the LATE SHOW, my name has been used twice in the ACT 5; once for missing work due to a snowstorm dropping 21 inches; and again tonight when I discovered Alan is sleeping with my wife. The whole thought of this thing tonight makes me think of that Seinfeld episode with Jerry and Newman dating the same woman.
Yeeech.

JERSEY BOYS: a performance from the Broadway musical about the story of Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons. You can see "Jersey Boys" at the August Wilson Theater on 245 West 52nd Street. It's one of the big hits of the season; nothing but rave reviews. And it's not one of those juke box musicals.

And that was our show for Tuesday February 21, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

This just in: The Bush Administration just named Michael Jackson to head the Bureau of Child Welfare.

Sad news in the sports world; legendary announcer Curt Gowdy has died. When I think of Mr. Gowdy I think of baseball's weekend Game of the Week and his AFL football broadcasts with Al DeRogatis. Did Gowdy and DeRogatis do Raiders vs. Chiefs in Kansas City every week or is that just the way I remember it?
I was reading in the Letterman newsgroup someone questioning if it was Curt Gowdy who made the call on Bill Buckner's error in Game 6 of the 1986 World Series against the New York Mets. Someone thought it might be Joe Garagiola; another thought it was Vin Scully.
And that's when I realized I only knew the Bob Murphy call; Bob Murphy, the announcer for the New York Mets. I don't know if I ever heard any other call. Murhpy's call includes: "Gets by Buckner!" followed by "The Mets win! They win!"
I always bring this up when I talk about the Buckner play.
1. the game was already tied.
2. Buckner should have never been in. His defensive replacement, a guy named Stapleton should have been in. He was in all year in that situation.
3. I still think the ball took a slightly dead hop just before it reached Buckner which resulted in it going under his mitt.

The CEO at Radio Shack was forced to quit over questionable items on his resume. I wonder if they asked him for his phone number and zip code before he checked out. (I'm not sure if that joke works. Does it make sense to you?)

From Boston Bill:

"The Bush Administration has just named Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams head of the new 'Smoke Out' campaign."
Anybody got more? Send me more.

TOPIC: FOOTBALL - Field goal attempt in the final seconds to win a game.
Remember when I claimed that the opposing coach should PRETEND he wants to call a timeout to freeze the kicker? Coaches always call a time-out seconds before the kicker attempts an end-of-the-game field goal hoping this extra time will make the kicker over-think the kick andl make him edgy and uncomfortable. This is done so frequently that the kickers now expect it. I believe that coaches should make the kicker THINK he is going to call a time-out, then not do it. The kicker in the back of his head will be waiting for the time-out to be called instead of concentrating on his kick. His concentration will be jumbled and jangled. This is a theory of mine that no one else seems to heed. So you can imagine my glee when I heard this on a sports talk radio show on Saturday morning.

Author John Feinstein was discussing his book, "Last Dance: Behind the Scenes at the Final Four." The scene was 1975, Louisville vs. UCLA in the semi-finals. Louisville led 74-73 with less than a minute to play in overtime. Louisville guard Terry Howard was put in the game because he was their best foul shooter and UCLA would likely be fouling to stop the clock and hoping for a missed one-and-one. Terry Howard got the ball and was fouled. UCLA coach John Wooden was livid that Terry Howard was fouled, for he was the best foul shooter on the floor. Howard had gone 28 for 28 at the foul line for the year. Howard went to the line, shot, and missed. UCLA got the ball and made the final shot of the game to win 75-74. Feinstein talked to Terry Howard for this book. Howard said he felt confident at the line. Everything seemed fine. He knew he could make the foul shot blindfolded if he had to. Terry Howard says when he released the ball at the foul line he felt the ball would go in. It felt the same as it had hundreds of times before. But it did not go in. Terry then explained that he expected UCLA coach John Wooden to call time out in that situation to make him think about his shot. Wooden didn't. Wooden did not do what Terry Howard expected, and maybe that was the difference between Terry Howard making that foul shot and his missing it. And that is my point. Me and John Wooden. We think alike. He's in the basketball Hall of Fame and is the greatest college basketball coach in the history of the game. I write a blog no one reads.

This just in: The Bush Administration just hired an Arab company to take over operations at six major U.S. ports.

Naaahh. Sorry. That joke doesn't work because there needs to be the slightest likelihood that it could be true. This is too far fetched. Nobody could believe this premise, therefore the joke doesn't work.




 Contact Michael
Print Send to a friend

Advertisement