I came in a little late so I'm not sure what led to the discussion about Curious George. Dave says his son Harry likes to be read to and often right before bedtime wants to hear Curious George. Dave suspects that Harry wants Curious George simply because it is the longest book in the bunch and it will delay "lights out" for as long as possible. Harry's favorite book used to be "Wheels on the Bus," but no longer. Dave misses "Wheels on the Bus." He says he would really get into it and create excitement while reading it. Dave then recites part of "Wheels on the Bus."
"The wheels on the bus go round and round.
Round and round.
Round and round.
The wheels on the bus go round and round.
All through the town."

I was able to relate to Dave's tale of reading to his son Harry. And I smiled when telling of his reading "The Wheels on the Bus." I too would animate and create excitement when reading "Brown Bear" to my girls. I would be dead tired from work, caring for twins, and lack of sleep. Night after night the girls would want to hear "Brown Bear Brown Bear." It was a repeated story line from start to finish. I found myself making the pages tremendously exciting simply to keep the story new and fresh.
"Brown bear, brown bear,
what do you see?
I see a red bird looking at me.
Red bird, red bird,
what do you see?
I see a yellow duck looking at me.
Yellow duck, yellow duck
What do you see?
I see a white horse looking at me."
Etc.

I haven't read "Brown Bear" in 9 years. Let's see how close I came to the correct order after all these years. To the best of my recollection, the order went like this.
1. Brown Bear.
2. Red bird.
3. Yellow duck.
4. White horse.
5. Purple cat.
6. Dog . . . . dang it, it's a white dog. So what does that make the horse? Blue? I haven't used blue. Yes, I think it's blue. Change "white horse" to "blue horse."
7. Green frog.
8. Black sheep dog
9. Gold fish
10. teacher

A quick check of the actual book shows that I had the animals with the right colors, but the Green Frog should come in at #5 after the #4 Blue Horse. After that, all is correct.

Dave continues with the "Wheels on the Bus":
"The wipers on the bus go Swish, swish, swish;
Swish, swish, swish;
Swish, swish, swish.
The wipers on the bus go Swish, swish, swish,
all through the town."

And

The baby on the bus says 'Wah, wah, wah;
Wah, wah, wah;
Wah, wah, wah'.
The baby on the bus says 'Wah, wah, wah,'
all through the town.

Dave then billboarded the guests on tonight's show, adding that 17-year-old Teddy Geiger is probably knows some of these books.

Dave also mentions Peter Rabbit and Mr. McGregor and Benjamin Bunny offering a rather dark side to McGregor of which I was unaware.

McDonald's is taking on Starbucks by introducing a new line of premium coffee. We take a look at a recent commercial.
Announcer:

"Breakfast at McDonald's just got better. You'll love our new premium roast coffee made from the finest coffee beans. And don't forget our flavored blends, like delicious French Roast with cheese. . . . or for that extra kick, Spicy Hazelnut Bacon Ranch.
McDonald's - wake up and smell your life!"

"Rumors swirl that President Bush may try to save his failing presidency by firing the disastrous Dick Cheney. Well, Dick Cheney would like to say . . . . 'just try it, bitch!' (doctored photo of Cheney holding a gun)
Dick Cheney - locked and loaded."

"The Driver on the bus says 'Move on back,
move on back, move on back;'
The Driver on the bus says 'Move on back',
all through the town.

GEORGE W. BUSH: WHAT?! - from a March 15th speech in Maryland. The President attempts to clarify something: "First off, I - I - I - happen . . . . I don't wanna . . . . uh . . . ."
The President fumbled more than a 2004 Tiki Barber.

And if you're curious, Dave holds up a photo of Curious George in his astronaut suit.

NEW CATALOGS - Dave is always getting the "sell" in his mailbox. Everyday, more and more catalogs clog his P.O. Box. Some of those I found amusing:
-The Gap, looking for a new demographic, has a new catalog - Gap For Dead Guys
-This one was odd and a bit confusing - no, it's not J.C. Penney . . . it's J.C. Benney. A little starburst exclaims, "order now, before J.C. Penney sues our nuts off."
-And talk about odd . . . . Hickory Farms Furniture . . . . with the furniture made out of smoked sausages.
-And finally, Zales jewelry is aiming at a niche market . . . . it's the Zales 82nd Annual "Sorry I Nailed That Whore" Special.

IS THIS ANYTHING? We haven't seen this in quite a long time - January 17, 2006; and before that, April 26, 2005. And what are we playing for? We weren't ready for this, but when we have nothing, Alan will chime, "Dave, we're playing for a new car."
The scrim rises and we find a guy, holding a couple clubs, standing on a single, free-standing ladder. Dave at first thought it was something, but when he saw the rubber safety matting, he downgraded it to "nothing."
Performing along side the guy on the ladder were the Grinder Girl and the Hula Hoop girl. It was nice to have them back here on the show after being away for so long.

TOP TEN: Signs You're On a Lame Spring Break
-1.25 million students will go away for Spring Break this year, spending over $1 billion.
-Top spots for Spring Break, no particular order: Acapulco; Cancun; Daytona; South Padre Island, Texas; Panama City, Florida.
#8. Closest thing you get to a sunburn is a rash from the hotel linens.
#6. Limbo stick looks an awful lot like a human femur.
#1. Most action you got was when mom kissed you goodbye

DAVID SPADE: From Comedy Central's "The Showbiz Show with David Spade." It premieres tonight - Thursday - at 10:30 PM. David ran into some trouble at the airport the other day on his way to the show. He was stopped at the X-Ray machine. He was asked if he had anything he wanted to say about its contents. David thought, and said "no." Are you sure? David can't think of anything. Police are called over. The bag is opened and inside is found a 7-inch bowie knife. Oops. David, thinking fast on his feet, chuckles and starts, "Funny story . . . ." But he didn't have a funny story. The knife came from his brother, something he found outside his apartment following a fight. It was kicked under a car. So he gave it to David. And now Spade was in an airport surrounded by security with a possible murder weapon in his bag. David tried to laugh it off and told the police he didn't really want the knife. They could keep it if they wanted. After a discussion off to the side, security decided to let David board the plane. As he was boarding, one of the bag-check people yelled that David would like his knife back. Spade quickly said he wanted nothing to do with the knife. Once inside the plane, the stewardess said they are working on getting the knife back. David again said he wanted nothing to do with the knife. The stewardess then told the story of a woman trying to board a plane with a hand grenade. The airport was closed down. The woman explained the hand grenade was purchased at an Army/Navy store for her son for Show and Tell at school. And if the son got it to school, the school would likely be shut down just like the airport.

David has a place in Arizona and was recently on the phone with a lady friend. David was barefoot and saw a tarantula approaching. David explained that he had to hang up. The woman likened his story to her finding a lady bug on her shower curtain. Not quite the same thing. David's life was in jeopardy. The woman was threatened with good luck.
And David visited with his estranged father, Pee Wee. Pee Wee left the family when David was just a tyke. David and dad went to a hospital recently to see a friend who had just given birth. David held the baby, which made dad giggle with glee. Pee Wee teased David, "Oh, look at David holding the baby. How cute is that?!" Spade darted back with, "Oh, what do you want me to do, put him down and walk away like you did to me?" Ouch!

And we learned that David Spade is a hero. He found his gardener in his swimming pool. The gardener had no intention of going swimming. With the leaf blower still on his back, the gardener was quickly sinking to the bottom of the pool. Not wanting to get wet or exert energy, David looked at the big picture and decided to save the guy. His heart wasn't in it but it was the right thing to do. David Spade pulled the man to safety. Catching his breath, the gardener spoke the only English he knew . . . . "Call some girls and let's have a barbecue."

SARAH VOWELL: contributing editor to public radio's "This American Life" and the author of "Assassination Vacation," now in paperback.
How was St. Patrick's Day for Sarah? She says it was perfect, going to a performance of the Irish group, The Pogues. Sarah loves The Pogues. It's one of the few bands she will dance to. She only knows one dance, the Pogo. Sarah demonstrates. She jumps straight up and down as if on a pogo stick. Oh, those kids today.

Sarah has been busy traveling the country promoting her book. She recently found herself in Atlanta, Georgia at the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library to do a reading. The Library is built on top of the same hill where General Sherman had his headquarters when he burned down the town during the Civil War. Such a nice image. After the reading, Sarah got her picture taken with Jimmy Carter's cardigan sweater. She had met the former President once at a book show. She was signing and selling her book; former President Jimmy Carter was signing and selling his book. She saw him looking at her bio on the back of her book. She's written 4 books and has been on public radio for 10 years. She skimmed his bio on the back of his book. She said to him, "39th President of the United States is a really kickass first line of a bio." He again looked at her bio and told her, "Well, I guess you COULD still win the Nobel Prize." Sarah wasn't sure but she thinks she was zingered by the former President. I have two of Sarah's books at home. I plan on making one of them my summer read this year. I have twins and a lawn. One book makes up my entire summer reading.

ACT 5: "Did you lose a hundred pounds and now look sexier than ever? Are you never sure who's your baby's daddy? Are you in your early 20s and addicted to hot kinky sex with men in their late 50s? If so, then you can be a guest on the next episode of 'Maury.' And if by chance you are all three of these things . . . then you can meet . . Maury at the Super 8 Motel by the George Washington Bridge, room 328. You'll be glad you did. Maury: We'll leave the light on for you."

TEDDY GEIGER - The teen girls love him. From his new debut CD, "Underage Thinking," Teddy Geiger performed "For You I Will."

And that was our show for Wednesday, March 22, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

I would like to thank the hundreds who wrote wondering where Tuesday's Wahoo was and why Wednesday's was late. To update, I stayed home on Tuesday with a child and a computer, both having a virus. My daughter is fine now; the computer's health remains in question. Tuesday's Wahoo went up Thursday morning and this one came on as soon as I finished it. If you're looking for Tuesday's Wahoo, you can find it by checking the archives.

So Paul Tagliabue is stepping down as the commissioner of the NFL. Some years ago, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said her dream job would be to be the football commissioner. Now that the position is available, Condoleezza says she must decline the position. I think it's because she couldn't handle the vicious and tyrant and egomaniacal behavior of Jerry Jones and Al Davis. Saddam, Khatami, Chavez, and Kim Jung Il are more reasonable.

I got a phone call from an old friend the other day. He recently moved to Philadelphia. I am just a little more than 2 hours from Philly but have never been there. Now that my friend Phil is in Philadelphia, a trip may be in order to catch a Phillie game. My friend Phil is a big "3 Stooges" fan. He is such a fan that he bypasses Moe and Curly as his favorite, and lauds the often overlooked Larry has his most admired. It is Larry that Phil watches when the Stooges are on the TV. There are not many who would name Larry as their favorite, but Phil has made a study of the trio and it is Larry he has made his favorite. So Phil moves to Philadelphia. Two blocks away is a restaurant/bar called "Jon's Bar and Grille" at the corner of 3rd and South Street. It looked inviting so Phil makes a visit. Coincidence of coincidences, not only is Jon's known for its fine food and drink, but the building is also the birthplace of Larry Fine. That's right, Larry Fine, the "Larry" of the "3 Stooges." Phil buys some drinks, eats some food, talks to the manager, and buys me a T-Shirt.

Some facts about Larry Fine:
-born October 5, 1902.
-As a toddler, Larry's arm was accidentally burned by acid. The hospital wanted to amputate. His father would not allow it.
-As part of his therapy for his arm, Larry was given violin lessons. He became an accomplished musician.
-Larry made over 185 movies and shorts.

Some facts about Jon's:
-corner of 3rd and South Street in Philadelphia
-on sale, T-Shirts, sweat shirts, and hats
-The 3 Stooges burger sells for $8.50 and comes with melted smoked mozzarella cheese and smoked bacon, topped with sauteed mushrooms. It comes on a Kaiser roll with lettuce, tomato, red onion, French fries and a pickle.
-Want to know more about Jon's? Check it out at www.jonsbarandgrille.com I hope this free plug results in a free beer down the line.

March Madness continues. Thursday and Friday night on CBS will be more NCAA basketball. We will be showing previously viewed programs.

PREVIOUSLY VIEWED PROGRAMS:
THURSDAY: From February 3, 2006; Show #2503 - Sean "Diddy" Combs; Train; and a top ten from U.S. snowboarder Seth Wescott. PLUS: Salsa from the roof.
FRIDAY: From February 20, 2006. Show #2514 - Jimmie Johnson; and Andy Dick. And Biff's Sidewalk Olympics.

Check the Wahoo Archives and make your plans accordingly.