Cold open: We find Dave in the green room with our old friend Gerard Mulligan. Gerry left the show about 2 years ago when he decided to pursue a singing career and Dave misses the fella.
Dave: "I was thinking the two of us should start a book club. We'll get together once a month, have a coupla drinks and, you know, talk about books."
Gerard: "You know, I'm not gay."

It's Thursday night and time to play America's Fastest Growing Party Sensation, Stump the Band. It's something we borrowed from Mr. Carson and, like most people, never returned. Paul must have received the wrong memo because he was all set to play Carnac. Paul holds an envelope up to his brain and gives the answer to the question sealed inside.
The answer: "Abu Hanza al-Mahjer."
The question: "What is the sound a fat man makes when he gets out of a vinyl chair?" Next week: Ssss - boom - bah.
#1. Rick Dinehart of Kendallville, Indiana. He's a lecturer at Northwestern University. (I was a lecherer at Cortland State, home of the 2006 Division 3 Mens Lacrosse Champions.) He's a motor vehicle accident investigator. I hope he investigates why commuters remain in the middle of the highway after a fender bender to exchange information and why they don't pull off to the side. Do they really enjoy blocking up traffic for miles?
His song: Hoosier Boys
Bruce Kapler claims to know this song. To the tune of The Zombies' "Time of the Season", Bruce sings:

"What's your name
Hoosier Boys
If you wanna get rich like me
Go to Ball State
Do the weather
And end up on late night TV
And don't forget
To give the band a raise."

Garth Beams of Fort Wayne, Indiana. Does he know Rick from Kendalville? Nope. But they do now as Dave introduces the pair. Garth is a high school art teacher. How are the students? They're OK. "They try their best." Ever have one with really special talents? Garth says not yet; "I've only been doing it a short while." How long? "Five years."
Garth's song: "My Dog Larry."
Al Chez says he knows it. Paul and the band plays while Al Chez leads with his vocals.

"My Dog, Larry"
"My dog, Larry,
was quite hairy
He looked real scary
My dog, Larry
He wasn't well behaved
So I had the dog shaved.
My dog, Larry."

Wendy Kovich of Houston, Texas. Wendy works for a Production Company. This is her first time in New York. How does she like it? She says there are a lot of people. Yup, and that's why they call it a city. What has she done in NYC? She's gone to the shows, having seen "Wicked" and "The Lion King." For a second I thought she meant the Late Show when she said she went to see "Wicked." Here along? "No, I'm here with my husband." Dave says, "That's too bad."
Her song: Quack Quack.
Paul steps up to the plate with his take on the song. To the tune of I believe to be Sonny and Cher's "Bang Bang" . . . I think that's the name. . . or maybe it was just Cher's.

"Quack quack
Another round
Quack quack
He heard a sound
Quack quack
He spun around
Quack quack
Cheney shot his best friend down."

Back from commercial, Dave billboards the night's program. Suddenly a cocktail waitress carrying a martini enters from the guest entrance and crosses the stage towards Alan. She takes the martini and throws it into the face of Alan Kalter. Alan falls to the ground in great pain; screaming like a sissy. Dave tells him to knock it off and take it like a man; "We've all had that happen. It's nothing."

Hey, congratulations to WISC-TV, channel 3 in Madison, Wisconsin on their 50th birthday. This Saturday marks their 50th year of broadcasting. And what was the first show on WISC-TV? "Good Morning, Cheddar!" It was also their longest running show.

There's a lot of concern about North Korea's missile program, and now the Pentagon says our missile defense system is still a work in progress. Fortunately, the government has been hard at work on a backup plan.
Announcer:

"As North Korea's missile program continues to threaten our security, many Americans are concerned about reports that our missile defense system isn't fully functional. Fortunately, President Bush has worked long and hard to come up with a surefire backup plan --- but he needs your help to implement it. So if anyone out there knows how we can get in touch with Superman, we'd sure appreciate hearing from you. George W. Bush: Celebrating six years as your cutest President."

Yes, we've shown that before but it's a favorite among many of us.

TOP TEN: Other Changes In The United States Army - the Army has raised the maximum enlistment age from 40 to 42. They raised it from 35 in January. #8. Cumbersome Kevlar helmet replaced with more comfortable Panama hat. #6. Due to funding cuts, Private First Class reduced to Private Business Class. #5. No more annoying surprise visits from Bush.

Oh, and about WISC-TV, "Good Morning, Cheddar" was replaced by "Meet the Cheese."

MERYL STREEP: Nominated for an Academy Award a record 13 times. And it's her birthday today. Dave gives her a dozen roses. So taken by the gesture, Ms. Streep doesn't know what to say except, "Ahhh, I feel like a horse." What does she have planned for her birthday? Meryl says "My husband is preparing a surprise party, which I know about." That's not right. Why does she know about her surprise party? Meryl replies, "Because I had to plan it." Dave is sure the party will be very refined. A funny Meryl laughs and says, "Oh, I hope not. I want it to be fun." Meryl's the mom of 4 kids, the oldest 26 years old. He's in a band called Bravo Silva. Any good, objectively speaking? Meryl says she is indeed objective, and adds with pride, "And they're very good." Check it out at:
http://www.bravosilva.com/index_main.html
The duo do sound good.
Her 22-year-old daughter won an award for her acting prowess. She's currently starring in an of-Broadway production.
Dave asks if you can teach anyone to act. Meryl says you can always get better as an actor through hard work but you really need something inside to start, that something special that makes you stand apart from the others.
Meryl stars in the film "The Devil Wears Prada" with Anne Hathaway. It opens June 30t. Dave says about Meryl's character, "I want to be like her." Her character is loosely based, or perhaps tightly, on Vogue's editor, Anna Wintour as told from the eyes of her assistant, played by Hathaway. Dave enjoyed one scene where Streep looks at Hathaway the assistant and says, "Oh, so they hired the fat one." Dave rightly points out that Anne Hathaway isn't fat at all. Meryl says, "In the fashion world, she's fat." We see a clip. I'm not one to go see movies, particularly ones about a fashion magazine, but just from the clip it looks like you can build up a good hate for Meryl's character. That could be fun. The character seems a bit unbelievable but I'm sure it's not far from the truth.
Since I don't watch movies (no time) I rate films but the clips I see here at the Late Show. I give the "The Devil Wears Prada" three-and-a-half stars. It opens June 30th.
Dave asks, "You have haven't been here in 7 years . . . what happened?"
Meryl answers, "I didn't like last time." I watched her last appearance. It was an enjoyable visit to watch. I just don't think she likes this sort of thing.

ACT 5: Alan V.O.: "Would you like to have Gerard Mulligan at your next party or corporate event? Send your request to:

‘I Want Gerard Mulligan At My Next Party or Corporate Event' c/o the Late Show
1697 Broadway
New York, New York 10019.
But hurry, Gerard is already booked solid through April 2007.
Don't delay --- book Gerard today.
We'll be right back."

And that was our show for Thursday, June 22, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

Who was reffing the USA/Ghana game? The same refs who reffed the Heat/Mavericks series? Foul? What foul?

I'm walking to work this morning and I gander inside a Starbucks. 16 people on line. I wondered how many people would have to be on line before the last person decided it wasn't worth it. Obviously the number was greater than 15. My number on anything is about 4. More than 4 people in front of me and I'll pass, and that goes for everything except rides at an amusement park. Willing to wait for 15 people ahead of you for a cup of coffee? C'mon, that person is an addict if I ever saw one. How many people would you be willing to wait behind for a cup of Starbucks? And it's not just Starbucks. I saw the same thing at a Dunkin' Donuts at the mall. Doesn't time mean anything to these people? You should see how antsy I get waiting for my first beer at a bar. Anything more than a minute and I'm telling myself this is the last time I come here.

My daughter Danielle got 10 stitches in her knee on Wednesday. This throws a monkey-wrench into her early summer plans. Now I won't be able to watch her perform in her dance recital scheduled for this Saturday night. That's too bad. The good news is I'll be missing a dance recital.

I mentioned yesterday the problem with the Yankees is their starting pitching can't last more than 6 innings. They used 4 pitchers in last weeks 1-0 game; and then Wednesday they used 5 pitchers in a 3-hitter.
John Hill of Groton, Massachusetts sheds light on today's game of baseball.

"You mentioned the multiple pitchers to complete games and it got me curious. I was thinking about how few pitchers do complete what they start. I compared the Cy Young years for Steve Carlton and Roger Clemens.
In his 4 Cy Young years Carlton averaged 38 starts and 307 innings. (8 innings per start) He averaged 20 complete games in those years.
In Roger Clemens' 7 Cy Young seasons he averaged 34 starts and 248 innnings. (7.3 innings per start) He averaged only 8 complete games. In fact during his last 2 Cy Young campaigns he had 0 complete games.

Another odd factoid:
In Pedro Martinez' last season with Boston (2004) he was paid $17.5 million for approximately 35 starts. He was only allowed to throw 100 pitches on average per start. That works out to $5000 per pitch."