ACT 1
STUMP THE BAND - "Is it me or is that guy sitting to the left behind me dressed as a traffic cone?"
It's something we borrowed from Johnny Carson's Tonight Show and never gave back. We meant to, but we never did. And Paul must have gotten the wrong memo because instead of being prepared to play Stump the Band, Paul was ready to play Carnac. Paul holds an envelope up to his head and tells the answer to the question sealed inside.
Answer: "The Rat Pack."
Paul opens the envelope to read the question: "What's the name of KFC's new Value Meal?"

STB#1: Anita Charles, from Lancaster, Pennsylvania - she's a 5th grade teacher. Lancaster, Pennsylvania . . . ahhh, Amish Country. Dave has something ready for just about every state in the Union. When somebody says they are from Pennsylvania, he will likely say, "Is that by Amish Country?" In this case, even I knew Lancaster was Amish.
Anita is a school teacher and Dave shares that he had a parent-teacher conference not too long ago. Dave had only one concern. He asked the teacher, "He's not the weird one, is he?"
Anita's Song: "Down By The Bay" - WOW! I think I know this one! I was distracted during this portion of the show so I don't know who performed CBS Orchestra's version of "Down By The Bay." But I do know that they did not sing the correct song. Anita then sang "Down By The Bay," made popular by Raffi.

STB#2: Jeffrey Sleight of Baltimore, Maryland - he's a regional vice president for Wachovia Bank. Ahhh, Baltimore . . . Dave calls it by its nickname . . . which I missed. So I'll check my City Nicknames list I keep in my folder.
Baltimore: Charm City
Baltimore: Monument City
My guess is Dave called it "Charm City."
Dave mentions that Baltimore once had a football team called the Colts. They now play in Indianapolis. And they won the Super Bowl this year. Dave asks Jeff if he heard about that. He has.
Jeffrey's Song: "Birdie, Birdie" Paul Shaffer tries his hand at "Birdie, Birdie." Good try, not right.
Jeff sings "Birdie, Birdie," an old Navy song the squad would sing when running.

And that's how we play "Stump the Band."

ACT 2
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES - We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush: 'If you don't like what we tell you to believe, we'll kill you." He says this with a smile. Dave remarks, "At least he's good natured about it."

BOB WOODRUFF: While reporting from Iraq as co-anchor of "World News Tonight," Woodruff suffered multiple severe injuries in a roadside explosives attack. And he's here tonight to tell his story. I don't look forward to writing a recap of these two segments with Bob Woodruff since it will not do it justice. I recommend clicking on "Last Night on the Late Show" for portions of the segment. I'll keep this brief.
Bob takes us through the day leading up to the attack and what he remembers following. Most of what he went through he obviously doesn't remember and can only tell what has been told to him. I missed his ABC special the other night about Bob and his recovery and now I'm really sorry I did. From what I heard, it was a superb piece. Bob says how lucky he was throughout the ordeal, not quite understanding how so many things that could have gone wrong didn't; rock and shrapnel missing vital organs by fractions of an inch; medical help performed exactly right when it needed to be done; and the right people in the right place at the right time.
Bob pointed out a couple times that today's medical help is so much better than in wars past. So many who are wounded today would have been killed in the past. In Vietnam, there were 3 soldiers injured for every soldier killed. In Iraq, it's 16 injured for every soldier killed. And since the injury, Bob and his family has established the Bob Woodruff Family Fund for Traumatic Brain Injury. The money they raise will go to helping individuals and families who have survived brain injuries as a result to service to their country, as well as their families, who must cope with the overwhelming consequences.
Bob and his wife, Lee, have written a book describing all they went through and continue to go through during Bob's recovery. It is entitled, "In An Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing" and is in stores now.

ACT 4
TRUE TALES OF Late Show INTERNS - it's a dramatization of the daily workings of our valued Late Show interns. In tonight's installment, we find Mike from the Production Department getting Dave his lunch for the day.
We see Mike walking down 53rd Street with Dave's lunch and enter the Ed Sullivan Theater Office Building. Before bringing his lunch to Dave, he makes a quick stop. By Mike's narration, we learn that he realizes he will probably never get to meet Mr. Letterman, so "to feel closer to the guy, I licked his BLT." We see him lick the BLT. And speaking of the BLT . . . .here's something you probably don't know . . . . . - Before the invention of the ice cream sandwich, people ate frozen BLTs.

ACT 5
Alan: "Looking for fun? Why not checkout the Tony Mendez Billboard Special! This week featuring special guest, MTV's Damien Fahey! 'The Tony Mendez Show Billboard Special.' Just go to www.cbs.com/lateshow. You'll be glad you did."
Imagine how great the Wahoo Gazette would be if it only had to be done once a week like the Tony Mendez Show! Imagine.
I guess one Tony Mendez show a week, down from five, is a reason to celebrate.

ACT 6
JOHN MAYER: From his CD, "Continuum," John Mayer performed "Gravity."
Watching John Mayer play the guitar makes me curse myself. All those years I've wasted growing up playing baseball and softball when I could have been learning the guitar. Dang it. But then I would have to be able to sing. Do you need to know how to sing if you play the guitar?

And that was our show for Thursday, March 1, 2007.



I've been thinking that we had Tom Noddy the bubble guy on the show before but found no record. With a little more digging, I came up with Fan Yang, the bubble guy, from September 12, 1996; Show #658. That was so long ago, it was before the Wahoo Gazette. Someday I'll take another look at Fan Yang to see what he did on our show.
I just did a quick check on Fan Yang and found that he was on Regis last week. How about that?

And I've been thinking about Senator John McCain on our show last night after he announced he would be announcing his candidacy for President of the United States. An announcement of an upcoming announcement. It's sort of like a pre-engagement ring. Is it really anything?

There is a new study that finds today's college kids are more narcissistic and self-centered than their predecessors. How about that! You don't think that has anything to do with all those years of undeserved self-esteem building, do you? Self-esteem has to be earned and then nourished; it can't be given away for free. I laughed when my girls went to their last basketball league dinner. All the teams gather for a big get-together and each girl is introduced and given a trophy. They get a trophy because adults think kids really want trophies and it helps build up self-esteem. So what do my girls say when they get their trophy? I congratulate them for the deserved piece of hardware. They scoff. They say with a bit of annoyance, "It's a 'Showing Up' trophy. You get it for just showing up. Big deal." I laughed, and congratulated them on their wisdom. They know they don't deserve a big "Yippee for you" for just showing up. Showing up is expected. It doesn't call for a celebration.

We're off next week. For your daily entertainment, may I suggest you turn your attention to Chad Riden's Mangy Dog Production website.
www.chadriden.com
And another website I don't visit nearly enough is Mark Evanier's NewsFromMe. www.newsfromme.com
It's a weblog about TV, Movies, Comic, Theater, News, Politics, and other forms of fantasy.

And now, a Wahoo Gazette tradition: (Is it a tradition when it's only the second year?)

In Like A Lion, Out Like A Lamb
by Lorie Hill

March roars in like a lion
So fierce,
The wind so cold,
It seems to pierce.
The month rolls on
And Spring draws near,
And March goes out
Like a lamb so dear.

And now it's time for, "Another One of My Ideas That Will Never Get On The Show".
Mitt Romney's strategy papers were misplaced and ended up in the wrong hands. And we were able to get our hands on George W. Bush's strategy papers. Dave holds up a blank sheet of paper.
This concludes another installment of "Another One of My Ideas That Will Never Get On The Show"

And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world's longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Florence, South Carolina, it's Deb Forbes
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER