" . . . and now, tough-talking teamster . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE:
- "The Fourth of July is a big summer weekend; great for family gatherings and barbecue. Did you see the Statue of Liberty?" We take a look. We see the Statue of Liberty in an apron and chef hat, holding a spatula.
- "Sarah Palin is stepping down as Governor of Alaska . . . . is it something I said? And to step in to fill the vacancy will be Miss Congeniality."

George W. Bush spent the Fourth of July giving a speech at a rodeo arena in Oklahoma, and people who were there say it was one of his most dynamic public appearances ever. We take a look at the clip. Uh oh. It's the Rodeo Arena in Oklahoma . . . . . and we see a guy who we pretend to be the former President get catapulted across the arena by a charging bull. The bull was probably a liberal.

And now, "A MESSAGE FROM SARAH PALIN"
Ms. Palin from a recent speech: "The world needs more / superficial / truly insane / governors."

ACT 2:
Dave was billboarding tonight's show. I was only half-watching as I had a stack of things to straighten and prepare for later. I look up and I see Dave is turning the blue card to the camera to show what's been typed. WHAT! What's wrong!? Dang! I missed what led up to it and someone explains that whenever we have Hayden Panettiere on the show, Dave wants to say "Hayden Planetarium", the planetarium here in New York City. Dave was showing the blue card to show how similar the spelling is of the two and how one could make that mistake. Still a bit confused, I blurted to my co-worker, "So the blue card is fine? There's nothing wrong with it?" She assured me there was nothing wrong with the card this time. Phew.

Did you watch the Wimbledon over the weekend? It was truly an historic sports spectacle. We take a look at an interesting reaction to the men's champion.
Announce:

"15 Grand Slam titles. He is an icon. He is the greatest player who ever lived. He's . . . . what's his name? Not Sampras . . . the other guy . . . . Robert? Ron? I dunno.
Tennis: Like golf, but without Tiger."

"She may be resigning as Governor, but you haven't seen the last of Sarah Palin. Catch Sarah this fall on her new talk show, 'Sarah & Dave'. 10 PM weeknights on CBS.
Sarah Palin: Decisive leadership!"

Remind me to suggest to Rupert to create a new sandwich, The Wahoo Gazette Reuben - A Rye Delight.

ACT 3:
HAYDEN PANETTIERE
Hayden has a nice summer tint as she has just returned from spending time in the Bahamas swimming with the dolphins and working on a documentary with the International Whaling Commission. We see some photos of Hayden cavorting with a playful spotted dolphin.
Hayden recently suffered a tattoo mishap. She had "Live With No Regret" tattooed on her back in Italian. Unfortunately, there was a misspelling. Fortunately, she lived up to her credo and has no regrets.

Hayden's new film, "I Love You, Beth Cooper" opens on Friday.

ACT 4:
SERENA WILLIAMS: the 2009 Ladies Singles and Ladies Doubles Wimbledon
Champion! She defeated her sister Venus for the Singles title and she teamed up with her sister for the Doubles title. OK, so the best tennis player in the world comes from this one small house in California. Now you have to find the second best player in all the world. You search the world over and end up in that very house again.
Serena and Venus have played each other 21 times. With her victory at Wimbledon, Serena now has the edge, 11-10. Playing together, they have won 9 Grand Slam Double titles.
Serena is on a roll right now, having won 3 of the last four major tennis championships: The U.S. Open, the Australian Open, and now the Wimbledon. She lost the French Open in June.
And then Dave and Serena hit some tennis balls into the audience. Luckily, Serena held back and wasn't trying for an ace.

ACT 5:
Announce: "Don't miss tomorrow's Late Show! Dave is joined by 'Bruno' star Sacha Baron Cohen, Joel McHale, and musical guest Rob Thomas!
The Late Show is a Mark Goodson Television Production.
Stay tuned!"

ACT 7:
CONOR OBERST & THE MYSTIC VALLEY BAND: From their album, "Outer South," Conor Oberst & The Mystic Valley Band performed "Spoiled."

And that was our show for Monday, July 6, 2009.



I missed a lot of tonight's show. I was penciled in for something in the show which we never got to. At first I thought it might be in the ACT 2. When that didn't come to be, I was then switched to a possible ACT 6. I didn't know that was not going to happen until we went with 2 segments with Serena Williams, which I thought was the right move. The worst part was that I was in a suit all day for the piece. Many said they liked the look. I was really worried that it would be suggested I dress that way all the time. I've considered "dressing for success" but I'd much rather "dress for comfort." I was to play a security guard interrupting the show to check for Dave's ID.

And my attention was diverted at the end of rehearsal. I was about to run back to my office when I noticed a police chase on the TV taking place in Houston. I watched 10 minutes of it and it was well into the chase when I came across it. And it looked like it was going to go on for some time. Did anybody see how it ended? I could watch police chases all day long. I love them.

My girls had a basketball in Hershey, Pennsylvania last weekend. They won 4, lost 2. Came in 5th of 28. In the game to get into the semi-finals, our Rockland Rockets were down by two with 7 seconds left in the game and the other team at the foul line. The girl made the first to make it a 3-point game. If she made the next free throw, the game would in all likelihood be over. She missed. There was a mad scramble for the ball. We recovered it and the ball was blindly hurled towards our basket 90 feet away. My daughter Danielle caught up to it, took a step without dribbling and heaved it up towards the basket. She banked it in. In the excitement, many on both teams thought we were only behind by two points and Danielle's 3-pointer gave the Rockets a tremendous victory. Then a split-second later I realized we were behind by 3 points and only tied the score. And then I saw the referee signal that Danielle's foot was on the 3-point line to make it a two-point shot, not 3. The Rockets lost by one point. So in a matter of one second, I went from a win, to a tie, to a loss, just like that in the snap of a finger. Excruciating. Then we went to Hershey Park and everything was fine.

Last week I heard how hard it was to find the Sunday newspaper in Hershey, Pennsylvania. And this week when I was there I learned that there are no banks in Hershey. In New York, you can't go more than a block without finding a bank. Stores everywhere are torn down just to put up another bank. I didn't see one in Hershey. I had to go to a Holiday Inn to find a cash machine.
When I give people directions to my house, I tell them "Make a right at the Chase Bank. Continue and then make a left at Chase, turn right at Chase, and then when you see the Chase Bank, continue going straight. My house is right before the Chase Bank."

And now once again, Late Night The Day They Were Born.
Hayden Panettiere was born August 21, 1989. So, what happened on Late Night August 21, 1989?
Late Night was a repeat, so what happened three days before Hayden Panettiere was born?
Late Night - August 18, 1989; Show #1190 - Mandy Patinkin sings "Over The Rainbow"; Calvert as Cher; Top Ten Reasons Cher Couldn't Make It; Viewer Mail (Ham Lamp; Tom Snyder montage and song; Corn Growers representative); Buck Henry; General Foods Visit; and Paul Prudhomme cajun cooking demo.
And that's what happened on Late Night three days before Hayden Panettiere was born.

And speaking of repeats, the above installment of "Late Night The Day They Were Born" was a repeat from September 5, 2008, the last time Hayden Panettiere was here.

CAMEO MENTION OF WAHOO READER
Coach of the Rockland Rockets, it's Mike Fincher
This concluded another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
Mikemack@aol.com