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FROM MASSAGE TO MICHAEL Next through the doors was Kevin, who brought in a massage chair and gave Kim a rubdown, saying, "I am 35 years old. I hope my hands aren't too cold." The enthusiastic Kevin answered a battery of questions from the girls, specifically one about his daughter: "How involved are you with your daughter's life?" Lisa figured out that he spent about 20 days a year with his daughter. He explained, "Do you realize how much work it is to have a child?" "Do you?" Laura shot back. Lisa was not impressed with his parenting skills. "Do you know what happens when you have sex?" Lisa asked. Kevin quipped, "I'll show you what happens." That was it. Kim stopped the massage, stood up from the chair and ordered the humiliated Kevin out of the room. "My God, these poor men…. There's good, there's evil, and I saw the evil," a stunned Kevin warned the other men still waiting their turn. Ken, a 28-year-old options trainer, brought roses for all the girls. "Long-stemmed, all by itself, beautiful," remarked an impressed Laura. "I'm doing my dream job," explained Ken. Lisa was very impressed that he had such passion for his job. "Welcome to CUPID," exclaimed Lisa, adding, "Ken has everything going for him. He's great on paper and great in person." One time wasn't enough for Michael, the postal employee who was earlier rejected. "I thought I'd give her a second chance," he said. Laura inquired, "Did you shower before you came here?" Michael replied that of course he had. "You look like a pig," Laura shot back. "OK, I lied a little," answered a humbled Michael. "I said I'm going back, I'm going to hit a homerun." And…he didn't. Michael was thrown out again. ( Postal Michael returns  )
GOD'S GIFTS "A lot of guys think they're God's gift to women, but for me, I'm more interested in the kind of guy that cares about people other than himself," remarked Lisa. In walked Joe, a 25-year-old real estate developer. "I want someone who respects the relationship," Joe said, "Someone who believes in the family…. I don't mind if she works." Joe had, indeed, brought his family: all four members. Joe's sister told stories about him, and Lisa told a story as well: "Welcome to CUPID!" The family was ecstatic, and Lisa was ecstatic about the family and about Joe's relationship with them. Hank, a 25-year-old options trader, brought a picture of himself at seven years. "My dad was my best friend. It's one of the last things I got from him. He died when I was 17." The touching photo moved the girls, and Lisa asked to hug him. "I love that he's a trader too," Laura declared. "Welcome to CUPID!" Lisa told him, adding, "He's just a genuinely honest, great guy." Lisa's trip to Chicago had been a happy hunting ground, as she had snagged some great prospects for Los Angeles. Now, it was time to move on to a tropical Southern city. MIAMI HEAT What would the sizzling city under the sun bring Lisa? Sex, spice and exotic flavors are the order of the day in this edgy town, and Lisa would get a sample of all of it. The first one up was Jose, a 24-year-old singer. Sporting slicked-back hair and a semi-exposed chest, Jose boldly declared, "I'm going to be your Spanish lover." Lisa laughed. "This isn't a soap opera tryout," Laura retorted. She then demanded he start over, and proceeded to make fun of him, calling him "Rico Suave. He's going for something, I don't know what." A desperate Jose then sprang into singer mode, and tried to win Lisa over with a Latin song. "I just don't feel the vibe," Lisa claimed. The girls agreed he was fake and sent him packing. Miami was not off to a good start. "Unfortunately, he was not the last act of the day," Lisa explained. A new man asked Lisa to dance with him, another wore what appeared to be a flowery dress, one just wanted to be on TV, one fell a few too many inches below Lisa. There was a guy in a pink jacket, about whom Laura joked, "He looks like he's from 'Miami Vice.'" His bizarre facial expressions did not impress the girls either. TROPICAL TREMORS Eric, a 44-year-old groundskeeper, entered next. "I haven't been on a date since, like, 1983." "That's a shocker," replied an underwhelmed Laura. Eric read a poem while the girls watched in disbelief. "I can tell you how you girls can keep your youthful look for many, many years." He went on to explain he could do it in person. "No," was the simple response he got. A white-suited Micah offered a lei to the girls. "What are fake flowers a symbol of?" asked an unimpressed Laura. Keeping up appearances, Micah earnestly read a poem to the ladies, but his energetic performance didn't do much for them. The girls asked about his white suit and hat. Micah brushed off the question and proceeded to ask the girls about the "stigmata" of age. The girls found this error quite humorous and grilled Micah over what he thought "stigmata" even meant. Didn't he mean "stigma"? Clearly, this was not the way to Lisa's heart. Laura tore apart his outfit. Everyone agreed Micah was to be tossed out immediately. SALVATION Laura became concerned that Miami had become a complete waste of time: "One by one, the guys kept getting worse." Would the fabled town of sin be a complete bust? Just when things looked their worst, in came Nate, a 23-year-old former college football player. Recently graduated, Nate brought Lisa a poster of the team. Nate explained he is getting his real estate license, adding, "I'm looking for Mrs. Right." Laura, for once, could not make up her mind. Lisa liked him, though, and the consensus was to let him come to Los Angeles. "Nate was a cutie, all-around cute guy," Lisa explained, "He knows what he wants. I'm really excited to see what's behind that." With one good guy in their clutches, Paco, a 25-year-old bartender, faced the fire. He had brought his mother and his best friend, to make sure the girls wouldn't tear him apart. Paco showed his body, which was covered in tattoos. Paco's mother explained, "I guess I should be cool with it." Paco laid out his respect for his mother, who had single-handedly raised him and his siblings. Lisa wanted to know if he felt he was ready to get married. Paco replied that he was sick of just meeting girls, and that he was bored. He also felt he would make "a killer dad." It was yes all around. Lisa loved that he was totally different. "I could have sworn I was out of there," sighed a relieved Paco. Lisa explained, "I don't know on the street I would actually stop and talk to Paco, but that's what this whole experience has been about for me, is looking at guys that wouldn't necessarily be my type." ATTACK OF THE KILLER LAURA Darren, a 36-year-old chiropractor, brought his mom and a bouquet of orchids. Darren claimed he had gone to a lot of trouble picking out the flowers. Laura was not happy with this statement. "You don't tell someone you went to a lot of trouble to pick something out," she admonished, "You should go to a lot of trouble. What's wrong with you?" Darren brought his chiropractic table and offered his services. Laura shot back, "You look like you've had plastic surgery. I don't like you. You just seem real arrogant. Your pants are too tight." Darren's mother tried to come to his rescue, but Laura just went on, claiming that they both looked like they had the same plastic surgeon. At that point, Simon Cowell stepped in and remarked, "Oooh, Laura! I knew she was going to be a handful. She's aggressive, she's nasty, she's ruthless, she's a bitch. My kind of girl." Laura was on fire, tossing out guys left and right. Finally, she met Mike, 35, a traveling ski instructor. He tried to explain that he would show her the hottest spots on the planet. Lisa wanted to know how he could support a family. He and the girls soon got into a verbal shoving match over family expectations, and then when and how to let him speak. Laura felt he was disrespectful. Three of the firmest "no's" were then delivered to Mike, who replied that they were losers. Security arrived to escort Mike out of the room, and he proceeded to perform a handstand. Security took care of the problem. Mike was extremely angry after the audition, complaining, "This ain't no frickin' act, man!" Miami had ended with a real bang. A town known for its character had certainly delivered its fair share of them. A FINAL TREAT Laura concluded that she was pretty disappointed with Miami. Finally, 28-year-old Darren walked in. He had brought a singing doll. Darren felt sympathy for the girls, as they had had a long day. Lisa was so exasperated with the freaks of Miami that she decided immediately that she liked what she saw, and Darren was in. Kim also declared, "You're in!" Lisa had walked away from Miami convinced that the town's offerings of men seemed more commitment-phobic than Chicago's. However, both cities had delivered a bountiful crop of suitors. From Chicago came Dominic, Ken, Joe and Hank. From Miami, the girls netted Nate, Paco and Darren. Next week, all three girls head out to the towering metropolis of New York and the glitzy boulevards of Los Angeles to find another batch of men from which America will eventually choose. Will Lisa meet the man of her dreams? |
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