"Survivors ready! Set! G... is that a shark?"
Nick, Los Angeles

"OK, now whoever holds this position longest wins immunity!"
Bill, Kansas City

"Aaaagggghhh bees! Bees everywhere! Run for your lives!"
Wendy, Oakland

Commander Probst and his half-man, half dolphin warriors storm the lagoon!
Charles, Edmonton, Canada

Amazingly, Jeff is able to pull all the Survivors out of the water with his invisible string.
Lance, Lagrande, OR

Aided by the extra foot growing out of his back, Big Tom wins the "Swim back to Shore" contest by a landslide.
Mike, Houston

In a wonderful act of humanity, the Panamanian government releases the Survivors back into the wild.
Ben, Central Coast, CA

Unlike the rest of the group, Jeff refuses to bow down to Poseidon, God of the Ocean, and is cast out to sea, never to return.
Vee, Alberta, Canada

"OK, it's been 30 minutes since lunch. You can all go in now."
Richard, Statesville, NC

The Survivors must build a human bridge back to the beach so that "precious Jeff Probst" won't get his feet wet.
Lisa, Rochester, NY

"Tag! You're it, Jeff!"
RJ, Cedar Falls, IA

"All right, everybody, it's time for Adult Swim! All kids out of the pool!"
Steve, Atlanta, GA