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Season 27: Episode 4 - Good Old Fashioned Spit In The Face
Posted on Oct 16, 2015 11:00pm

EXPRESS PASS IMPLOSION IN ZAMBIA

After flying to Zambia, the carefully-constructed U-Turn plan fell apart when Tanner & Josh used their Express Pass prematurely, and ended up at an overnight hold. The next morning, Justin & Diana and Tanner & Josh chose not to U-Turn anyone as teams arrived at the Pit Stop and continued racing.

PLOTTING At the Pit Stop in San Antonio de Areco, Argentina, Tanner & Josh pulled aside dating reporters Kelsey & Joey to discuss the U-Turn. Tanner said they’d use their Express Pass to skip the Detour and get to the U-Turn first. They’d U-Turn Justin & Diana, and then whoever got to the board next would U-Turn Tanner & Josh, filling up the board so Justin & Diana couldn’t use it. In exchange, Tanner & Josh would give the assisting team the Express Pass. The reporters agreed, Joey saying, “If it all goes as planned, Justin & Diana can say goodbye.”

Tanner & Josh ripped the clue first at 3:47 p.m. It told them to fly to Livingstone, Zambia. They ran off, Josh saying, “Texas does Africa!” They first had to travel by bus back to Buenos Aires, and they set off to find a travel agency. Justin & Diana left only a minute later, Justin saying he had a feeling that Tanner & Josh wanted to U-Turn them. He figured his being a student of the Race was threatening but added, “According to Amazing Race history, you do not U-Turn somebody who’s not going to get eliminated. And there’s no way we’re getting eliminated.”

THEY’RE OUT OF HERE! Kelsey & Joey left third, and learned that they had to travel on one of two designated flights – although only four teams would make the first one. Tanner & Josh then arrived at the travel agency and picked up tickets on the first flight, set to land at 12:30 p.m. As Justin & Diana wandered around lost, Kelsey & Joey got the second set of tickets. Meanwhile, track stars Jazmine & Danielle ran down the street in fourth place, followed by dating paparazzos Logan & Chris. The latter immediately began bickering, and Logan admitted in interview that they needed to calm down. “Anything high-stress, we’re like a box that just opens, and things fly out.”

Jazmine & Danielle got tickets on the first flight, followed by Justin & Diana. Logan & Chris were relegated to the second flight, but learned that only fifteen minutes separated it from the first one. Meanwhile at the bus station, Tanner & Josh were disappointed to learn that Justin & Diana had made their flight. Eventually mother/son Denise & James Earl, newlywed dentist and doctor Cindy & Rick, and cheerleaders Tiffany & Krista arrived. All the back teams had learned of the plan to U-Turn Justin & Diana, and they all thought it was a strategic way to go. James Earl said, “They’re out of here!”

WELCOME TO ZAMBIA! Teams all boarded the bus to Buenos Aires, where they caught their flights to Zambia. In the land of abundant wildlife and the majestic Victoria Falls, Phil explained that teams had to make their way to the 1,000-year-old Mukuni Village and receive a traditional welcome. The first flight landed, and the four teams scrambled for taxis. Tanner limped out of the airport on his still-injured hamstring, causing Josh to say, “Come on Hobbly McGee.” Kelsey & Joey were first into a taxi, which was good news to Tanner & Josh, given their alliance. “Anyone but Green Team in front of us, we’re happy with.” Tanner reiterated that they were going to use the Express Pass to jump ahead of the group and U-Turn Justin & Diana.

Teams took in the scenery, including monkeys frolicking on the side of the road. Kelsey & Joey arrived at the village of thatched-roof huts, and were greeted by singers and drummers – a scene Kelsey described as “surreal.” They then got blessed by one of the village women, which consisted of her spitting water on them. Joey quipped, “For me that was a first.” Tanner & Josh arrived second and got spit on, right in the face. Justin & Diana then arrived, Justin saying, “There was like, this electricity in the air.”

Kelsey & Joey then ripped the clue, which told them to make their way to Batoka Aerodrome and search for their next clue. Tanner & Josh and Justin & Diana followed. Track stars Jazmine & Danielle then arrived, got spit on, and ripped the clue fourth. Jazmine said, “The first ten minutes in Africa, to get a welcome like that, it’s just amazing.” The second flight then landed, and newlyweds Cindy & Rick, mother/son Denise & James Earl, cheerleaders Tiffany & Krista, and paparazzos Logan & Chris jumped into taxis.

A LITTLE TOO EXPRESS An elephant lumbered across the road as Kelsey & Joey approached Batoka Aerodrome. In the second taxi, Tanner & Josh were ready to pull out the Express Pass. They said that hopefully the reporters would U-Turn them after they U-Turned Justin & Diana, and they could then give the Express Pass to Kelsey & Joey. The reporters arrived at the clue box and ripped the clue. It was a Roadblock: “Who wants to rise above the smoke that thunders?” Kelsey opted for it. Phil explained that teams would have to fly above Victoria Falls on a microlight – a motorbike engine with wings and an open cockpit. During the flight, they’d have to locate their next clue in the mist below. Tanner & Josh read the clue, and figured since Tanner was afraid of heights, they’d use the Express Pass. But running off, Josh realized it’d be a fast Roadblock. Justin & Diana then arrived, and Diana chose the task.

Tanner & Josh handed over the Express Pass and got the next clue. It told them to make their way to Shoestrings Backpackers Lodge in Victoria Falls. Phil explained that teams had to cross the border from Zambia into Zimbabwe. They then had to travel to the town of Victoria Falls, where they’d find Shoestrings, and their next clue. On the sidelines at the Roadblock, Joey figured the Texas boys wanted to get to the U-Turn board first. Justin said, “If they want to do it early, that’s a dumb strategic move, and it’s going to come back to bite them, I promise you.” In the taxi, Josh was kicking himself for skipping the Roadblock. “Man, it’s was a heights one…. I would’ve done it easily.”

PUPPET MASTERING As Kelsey took off in her microlight, Joey described her as a thrill junkie. “She loves to do things that I would never want to do.” Diana followed, saying she was afraid of heights. Justin explained that she wanted to conquer her fear, and added that he was jealous. As Josh & Tanner sped to the next location, Justin said if you U-Turn a team and they don’t go home, you’ve created an enemy. “And now they don’t have an Express Pass – they have nothing to save them.” He added that in the history of the Race, U-Turning a team that’s right behind you never works out. “Hopefully they’re not dumb enough to use the U-Turn, and if they do, I promise you they’ll be gone before the end.”

Josh said his stomach was in knots because he thought using the Express Pass would give them a huge lead, but it didn’t seem like that’d be the case. Back at the Roadblock, Justin approached Joey about an alliance. Joey said he was fine with it since Justin & Diana were one of the stronger teams, and Justin promised to help him take it to the end. In interview, the reporters added that they were playing both sides, aligning with Justin & Diana and Tanner & Josh. Joey added, “I’m puppet-mastering.”

POSTCARD PERFECT Track stars Jazmine & Danielle arrived next, and Jazmine opted for the Roadblock. Up in the air, Kelsey marveled at the view as she spotted wildlife below. In second place, Diana was also in awe, and said that seeing such amazing things helped put her at ease. Back at the Mukuni Village, newlyweds Cindy & Rick arrived and got the blessing. Rick laughed at being spit on, while in sixth place, Denise simply looked stunned. Paparazzos Logan & Chris then arrived, followed by cheerleaders Tiffany & Krista. Krista shrieked at the blessing, and the girls said they were going to take it as good luck.

Back at the Roadblock, Kelsey and Diana passed over Victoria Falls, but both were nervous at the prospect of not seeing the clue. As Jazmine started up in third place, however, Kelsey spotted a red and yellow flag hanging from a bridge. Diana then saw it as well. Meanwhile, Tanner & Josh arrived at the border, and went into Customs to get their passports stamped. Up in the air, Jazmine described Victoria Falls as looking like a postcard. “It doesn’t look real.” She then spotted the clue.

GENERAL BEWILDERMENT Kelsey landed, and she and Joey jumped in their taxi. Kelsey explained that they had to go to the bridge that people walk on – Knife Edge Bridge. They headed off, Joey shouting about the monkeys on the side of the road. Diana then landed, and Justin told her he solidified an alliance with Kelsey & Joey. He added, “If we get to that (U-Turn) board and our faces are on there, it’s full-on game mode, and nobody plays this game better than I do.” Newlyweds Cindy & Rick then arrived at the Roadblock, and Rick chose it. On the sidelines, Danielle told Cindy that Tanner & Josh used the Express Pass on the Roadblock, and Cindy wondered why. Danielle had no idea.

As Rick took off in his microlight, Tanner & Josh crossed the border into Zimbabwe. Josh was stressing out though, saying the Express Pass was supposed to let them coast, but teams were probably closing in on them fast. They then proceeded to get stuck in traffic. Jazmine landed – but told Danielle that the clue was by a pink hotel. Logan & Chris and Denise & James Earl then arrived, with Logan and Denise opting for the Roadblock. As Logan took off, Cindy explained that Tanner & Josh already used the Express Pass, but the Roadblock would only take about twenty minutes, as opposed to a Detour, which could take a lot longer. Chris agreed that it was a bad decision. Denise then took off in her microlight.

BORDER HOPPING The cheerleaders arrived in last place, and Krista took off, shrieking and squealing. On the ground, Kelsey & Joey and Justin & Diana arrived at Knife Edge Bridge adjacent to Victoria Falls, and headed into the spray and mist. Justin said, “I’ve been to Niagara Falls, but this is something else.” Kelsey added, “It’s like a shower.” Both teams grabbed the clue, which told them to make their way to Shoestrings. Track stars Jazmine & Danielle then arrived in their taxi at Knife Edge Bridge, but believed they actually had to go to Victoria Falls Bridge, and headed off to find it. As Rick spotted the flag from the air, Jazmine & Danielle arrived at the border, and headed inside to get their passports stamped. Meanwhile, Logan and Denise both spotted the clue from above.

On the Zimbabwe side of the border, Jazmine & Danielle got into another taxi, having no clue what country they were in. While driving, they spotted the yellow and red flag hanging from Knife Edge Bridge across a gorge. They asked to head to that bridge, but the driver informed them that they had to return to the Zambian side of the border to access it, saying, “How’d you miss that one?” They turned around to head back. Rick landed and he and Cindy took off for the bridge, while up in the air, Krista spotted the clue. Her pilot then took a dive, causing her to scream again. “He kept dropping me on purpose. He was messing around with me, so it got a little scary at the end.”

A WASTED EXPRESS PASS Logan and Denise landed, Denise saying, “I was so excited I almost peed my pants!” They headed to the bridge, followed by the cheerleaders. In their taxi, Cindy informed Rick that Tanner & Josh had used the Express Pass on the Roadblock. Rick’s jaw dropped. “No!” They worried that it would mess up the entire plan to get rid of Justin & Diana. En route to Shoestrings, Tanner said they were counting on Kelsey & Joey to put up their picture on the U-Turn board. “I think our plan is flawless, but it does depend on other people.” They arrived and searched for the clue – but found only keys with release times for the next morning. They chose 8:00 a.m., and saw another key with 8:00 as well. Not only that, but the subsequent times were only ten minutes apart. Josh said they were expecting a Detour, but it wouldn’t be until the next day… and they just wasted their Express Pass. Tanner added, “We had gold in our hand, and we bought nothing with it.” To make matters worse, Justin & Diana beat out Kelsey & Joey to take the second 8:00 release time. Justin was gleeful, crowing, “Wasted Express Pass dot com!” He added, “When you don’t know the game you make mistakes, and they made their first mistake and it’s going to be a crucial one.”

FREAKING OUT – AND A TRUCE Back at the bridge, newlyweds Cindy & Rick stopped for a kiss before grabbing the clue in fourth place. They were followed closely by Logan & Chris, and Denise & James Earl. Then track stars Jazmine & Danielle finally arrived at the correct bridge and ran for the clue, with cheerleaders Tiffany & Krista on their heels. At Shoestrings, Cindy & Rick grabbed the second 8:10 a.m. release time, leaving the last four teams with 8:20. Entering their room for the night, Tanner & Josh now worried about getting U-Turned by Justin & Diana. The other teams gossiped about the boys’ poor decision, Kelsey & Joey saying, “They’re freaking out.” Tanner & Josh could only hope they’d get out in front the next day, and that Kelsey & Joey would be right behind them. Justin & Diana, meanwhile, were still thrilled. Justin said, “My confidence is through the roof. Good luck – they’ll need it.”

The next morning, the front two teams convened – and both promised not to U-Turn the other. Justin didn’t seem wholly sincere, however, saying a million dollars were on the line, and “What is it to lie to two people you just met?” Tanner also swore that next time a U-Turn arrived, they were using it on Justin & Diana. At 8:00 a.m. the teams ripped the clue, and found a Detour: Co-op or Croquet. In Co-op, teams had to stain and polish a wooden giraffe, and wait for it to dry. In Croquet, they had to score five points against a local player. Both teams chose Croquet, and started off on foot to the Victoria Falls Hotel.

WHAT’S CROQUET? Tanner & Josh now had a dilemma, since they’d originally planned to give the Express Pass to whoever helped them U-Turn Justin & Diana. Now that that plan had evaporated, they had to choose someone else, but didn’t want to play favorites. At 8:10, Cindy & Rick chose Co-op (“We’re not even sure what croquet is,”) while Kelsey & Joey chose Croquet, figuring it had to be faster than painting. The reporters started off on foot, while the newlyweds jumped in a taxi. At 8:20, Denise & James Earl chose “Croquette”, while Logan & Chris, Jazmine & Danielle and Tiffany & Krista all chose Co-op.

Arriving at the genteel Victoria Falls Hotel, Tanner & Josh and Justin & Diana found croquet players dressed in turn-of-the-century suits, skirts, and straw hats. The teams got dressed, and Justin mimed tipping his hat, saying, “ ‘Ello.” The instructor explained that they were playing with the red and yellow balls, while their opponent had the black ball. Diana took a wild shot – and scored the first point. On another court, Josh said, “It’s kind of like hockey mixed with golf, so I’m liking this a lot.” He called out, “Happy Gilmore!” as his ball rolled across the grass.

Kelsey & Joey arrived at the hotel as Cindy & Rick arrived at The Big Five Co-op. There, workers carved and stained wooden statues of the big five African animals. The instructor demonstrated how the stain a giraffe a deep burgundy, using a small brush. He added, “Take your time, so you produce a nice color.” He then demonstrated how to polish it. The newlyweds got started, Cindy saying that as a dentist she had awesome toothbrush skills. Rick joked, “We were hoping for a toothbrush challenge.” Logan & Chris, Jazmine & Danielle, and Tiffany & Krista then arrived. Logan told Chris to choose a small giraffe, while the cheerleaders likened the task to painting their nails. Rick explained that they had to wait for the stain to dry before they could polish, and Cindy worried that it’d take a long time.

GET OFF THE COUCH! Over at Croquet, Tanner & Josh scored their second point, while Justin came within half an inch of another one. Kelsey, who had no experience with golf or croquet, had trouble controlling her ball. Joey explained that they had to get the ball through the wicket before their competitor did. While Tanner & Josh struggled against a superior opponent, Kelsey & Joey finally scored their first point. Justin & Diana then scored their fourth point out of five. En route to the challenge, Denise said she hadn’t played croquet since she was a kid, and her daddy made everyone go outside. “Y’all gotta get off the couch!” Tanner & Josh then scored their fourth point. Kelsey explained that her job was to knock their opponent’s ball away, so Joey would be free to get the point. It seemed to work, and he scored a second time. But Justin & Diana then finished. They got the clue, which told them to make their way to the next Pit Stop, the Rose of Charity Orphanage, and to make a donation when they arrived. Diana said, “How beautiful,” and they ran off. Tanner & Josh then scored their last point, and read that there was a U-Turn ahead. Kelsey & Joey scored their third point just as Denise & James Earl arrived and began playing. In front of the hotel, however, the first two teams were forced to wait for taxis.

WATCHING PAINT DRY Over at Co-op, paparazzos Logan & Chris bickered as usual through the task. Cindy & Rick got judged, and their staining was approved. They then began fanning their giraffe to speed the drying process, so they could polish. Tiffany & Krista finished, but the judge said it was only ninety percent. Then he said the same to Jazmine & Danielle. Logan & Chris continued to bicker, but it didn’t seem to hurt them as they got approved on their first try. Cindy & Rick continued fanning their giraffe as the cheerleaders were judged to be ninety-five percent done. Logan & Chris started fanning as well, while Jazmine & Danielle reached ninety-nine percent. Teams started lamenting the time it was taking to dry, Rick saying, “I wish we would’ve done the other one.”

Tiffany & Krista and Jazmine & Danielle were finally approved, and waited for their giraffes to dry. Cindy & Rick then began polishing, followed shortly thereafter by Logan & Chris. Back at the hotel, Justin & Diana got a taxi, followed seconds later by Tanner & Josh. Justin worried whether the boys would keep their word about not U-Turning them, and knew they had to get to the mat first. In second place, Tanner & Josh had the same worries, not knowing how much they could trust Justin & Diana. Josh was still lamenting their misuse of the Express Pass, knowing they’d be sitting at the Pit Stop now if they’d done it right.

EXPRESS PASSING ON… Back at Croquet, Denise & James Earl were already up to their fourth point. Kelsey & Joey then scored their fourth – as Denise & James Earl scored their last one. Denise cheered and hugged her instructor, while Joey grumbled, “They got five already?” Mother and son ran out in third place, and the reporters finally got their last point. At the Rose of Charity Orphanage, the children had come out to greet the teams, including a cheerleading squad who lined the mat and chanted, “Welcome.” Justin & Diana arrived to find the U-Turn board – and chose not to U-Turn anybody. Referring to Tanner & Josh, Justin said, “We’ll let them fail on their own until we get to the next U-Turn, and then we’ll use it.” They stepped onto the mat, and pulled out all their money to donate to the orphanage. Justin said, “It’s not just that (the children) don’t have physical things – these are orphans. They don’t have parents, either.” He added, “It’s cool to have… people who donate their time and make these kids feel loved.”

As Tanner & Josh pulled up in their taxi, Phil informed Justin & Diana that they were still racing. Meanwhile, Tanner & Josh discovered that they weren’t U-Turned, and chose not to U-Turn anyone else. They added that they had more respect for Justin & Diana, who had a chance to U-Turn them and didn’t. In regards to the future, however, Tanner added, “Being our greatest competition, a U-Turn is exactly what’s in store for them.” Diana read the next clue, which told them to make their way to Lookout Café. They ran off as the Texas boys stepped on the mat and donated all their money. Phil then informed them that since the next leg of the Race started immediately, they had to decide right then whom they were giving the Express Pass to, so Phil could hand it to that team when they arrived. Tanner said they didn’t want to play favorites or hurt any of their alliances. “We have no idea what we want to do.”

TO BE CONTINUED

2704 ROUTE MARKERS

Roadblock: Teams had to fly in microlights (motorbike engines with wings and open cockpits) over Victoria Falls, and spot their next clue in the mist below. Performed Roadblock: (Tanner & Josh used Express Pass), Diana, Kelsey, Jazmine, Rick, Logan, Denise, Krista Detour: Co-op or Croquet. In Co-op, teams had to stain and polish a wooden giraffe. When it was properly painted and dry, they’d receive their next clue. In Croquet, teams had to score five points against a local player. Co-op: Cindy/Rick, Logan/Chris, Jazmine/Danielle, Tiffany/Krista Croquet: Justin/Diana, Tanner/Josh, Denise/James Earl, Kelsey/Joey U-Turn: Unused by first two teams.

Order of Finish:

1. Justin & Diana 2. Tanner & Josh EPISODE ENDS AFTER FIRST TWO CHECK-INS