Search
Season 29: Episode 8 - Good Job, Donkey
Posted on May 11, 2017 11:00pm

SPEED BUMP/U-TURN DOUBLE PUNCH TAKE DOWN LIZ AND MICHAEL
 
In Greece, teams faced the third Double U-Turn of the Race. Brooke & Scott used it on Liz & Michael, who were already delayed with a Speed Bump. To give their friends Liz & Michael a fighting shot, Tara & Joey U-Turned Becca & Floyd. It wasn’t enough, however, and the auctioneer and butcher were sent packing.
 
OWN THIS LEG
 
In Venice, Italy, professional snowboarder/former Navy corpsman Matt & Redmond ripped the clue in first place at 11:15 a.m. It told them to travel to Patra, Greece. As they jumped in a taxi, Matt said they were getting along great. “Only a couple of weeks ago, I met this guy with a carbon fiber leg named Redmond.” Redmond joked, “What was the name of his other leg?” Rock climbing instructor/college drum major Becca & Floyd left second. They referred to themselves as the Dream Team, because of how in sync they were. Army officer/police sergeant Tara & Joey ripped the clue third, followed by criminal attorney/recruiting manager Brooke & Scott. Scott said he hoped they’d go to Marathon and run. Brooke quipped, “Oh yeah, this team is made for running.” Artist/surgical consultant London & Logan left the mat fifth, saying there was no drama on their team, and they were going to keep it cool.
 
Finally, auctioneer/butcher Liz & Michael departed. Liz said she was hesitant to do any self-driving, since the last time they did they got in a huge fight. But she added, “We’re going to own this leg.” Michael said, “They’re going to have to do more than a Speed Bump to get us out of here. We’re not going home any time soon.” All the teams then boarded a charter flight to Bari, Italy. From there, Phil explained, they’d take a sixteen-hour ferry ride across the Mediterranean Sea to Patra, Greece. They’d then drive themselves a hundred miles to the mountain village of Arahova, where a traditional Greek wedding awaited them – and the Race’s last Double U-Turn.
 
JUST DANCING
 
The ferry docked, and everyone ran for cars. There they found the clue that warned them of the U-Turn. Redmond said it was “Freakin’ scary,” while Liz said, “We’re going to see who really likes us or not.” Everyone then began crossing a large bridge en route to Arahova – everyone but Becca & Floyd, that is. Team Fun just drove around in circles on secondary roads. Meanwhile, Brooke & Scott figured they’d target Liz & Michael for the U-Turn, since they already had a Speed Bump. The latter were leading a caravan of teams down the road, including Matt & Redmond, London & Logan, and Brooke & Scott. But Liz & Michael turned left when they were supposed to go right – and everyone else went the opposite direction. London said, “Someone is right and someone is wrong… and I have a feeling we’re right.”
 
In their car, Michael snapped at Liz to read the map and find where the road split to the right. Liz said they should just turn around, but Michael refused, saying he didn’t want to backtrack. Liz insisted there was no other road. Meanwhile, Becca & Floyd passed up the bridge that all the other teams had taken. Knowing there was a Double U-Turn ahead, Floyd said, “We’re honestly not sure how this is about to play out.” In the mountain town of Arahova, locals danced at a reenactment of a traditional Greek wedding. Tara & Joey arrived first. They joined the group, dancing in a circle and asking where the clue was. Back on the road, Brooke & Scott realized that they’d left London & Logan behind. The latter struggled to get their car into reverse, and London finally had to get out and push. The car rolled backwards, and they were off again.
 
THAT’S SO CRAPPY
 
Matt & Redmond then arrived in Arahova, followed by Brooke & Scott. Tara & Joey were still dancing, and still hadn’t gotten the clue. Brooke & Scott found the U-Turn board first and U-Turned Liz & Michael, apologizing profusely as they did so. Tara & Joey spotted them and ran over, as did Matt & Redmond. The boys quickly slipped in and said they weren’t U-Turning anybody. Tara & Joey then decided to U-Turn Becca & Floyd, to give their friends Liz & Michael a fighting chance. Teams ripped the clue and found a Detour: For the Bride or For the Groom. In For the Bride, they had to deliver cans of sheep’s milk on the back of a donkey through the streets to two cheese makers, and exchange them for lumps of specialty cheese. When they delivered the cheese to the bride, they’d receive their next clue. In For the Groom, they had to race with locals up 252 steps and find a shepherd, who’d give them a sheep or goat to deliver to the groom. Brooke & Scott and Tara & Joey chose For the Bride. Tara griped, “I can’t believe they U-Turned Mike and Liz – that’s so crappy.” Matt & Redmond chose For the Bride as well.
 
Meanwhile, Becca & Floyd asked for directions to get onto the bridge. Becca said, “At least we’re not a target for the U-Turn.” Up on a winding dirt road, Liz & Michael continued to drive aimlessly. When Liz said they were getting too far into the mountains, Michael blew up, blaming her for not telling him when they first went the wrong way. She threw it back at him for not wanting to turn around. Liz said they should go back the way they came, but Michael said, “You don’t know which way we came, because you can’t read that map!” He argued that if they went all the way back, they were done. “At least we have a shot going this way.” Liz said, “I hope somebody U-Turns somebody – not us.”
 
A CHEESY DETOUR
 
As Becca & Floyd finally got onto the bridge (after going forty kilometers out of their way,) Tara & Joey arrived at the donkeys for For the Bride. Brooke & Scott and Matt & Redmond joined them as they saddled their donkey and loaded up two milk cans. Tara & Joey started off, followed shortly thereafter by Matt & Redmond. Brooke & Scott’s donkey stubbornly refused to move, and Scott griped, “Of course the boys got the good one – of course they did!” Brooke & Scott finally got moving, Brooke saying, “I stepped in poop – that’s probably good luck.” The three teams followed a marked path through the streets to the first cheese maker. Meanwhile, Becca & Floyd headed towards the Detour, but Liz & Michael were still in the mountains, Michael still refusing to turn around.
 
Tara & Joey then found the first cheese maker, and exchanged a can of milk for a lump of cheese. Matt & Redmond and Brooke & Scott (who’d caught up to the boys’ pokey donkey) then found the first cheese maker as well. They exchanged their milk for cheese, and continued on their way. Tara & Joey then found the second cheese maker, and got their second cheese. The other two teams struggled a bit to find the second woman. Matt & Redmond encouraged their donkey, whom they nicknamed “Seabiscuit.” Meanwhile, London & Logan arrived at the U-Turn board, and while they were thrilled not to see their picture, London said, “The shocker – Mom and Dad U-Turned Becca & Floyd. How can you U-Turn Team Fun?” They chose For the Bride. Tara & Joey then delivered their cheese to the bride, who handed them a white plate. In Greek tradition, they smashed it on the ground, and found their clue inside. It told them to drive themselves to the Panathenaic Stadium Kallimarmaro in Athens.
 
AN OLYMPIC RUN
 
Matt & Redmond and Brooke & Scott finally found the second cheese maker. London & Logan then arrived at the donkeys – and London immediately stepped in poop. Matt & Redmond delivered their cheese and got the clue in second place, followed by Brooke & Scott. London & Logan then delivered their first can of milk. Meanwhile, Becca & Floyd continued driving towards the Detour, knowing that Liz & Michael not only had a Speed Bump ahead, but that they were notoriously bad at self-driving. True to form, Liz & Michael were indeed still lost, and Michael finally admitted that they needed to turn around. They finally did – and finally got back to the turn they missed ages ago. London & Logan then exchanged their second can of milk. They delivered their cheeses, and smashed the plate in fourth place.
 
In Athens, Tara & Joey arrived at the Panathenaic Stadium, where the first modern Olympics was held in 1896. Teams had to complete a lap around the track to get their next clue. Joey said, “Just to walk in there, you almost turn back time. Unlike any other experience I’ve ever had.” Tara added, “I definitely had the chills running around there.” They crossed the finish line, and ripped the clue in first place. It told them to make their way on foot to a building called the Zappeion, and search for their next clue. Matt & Redmond and Brooke & Scott then arrived, and spotted Liz & Michael’s Speed Bump. As the teams began running, Redmond tripped on Matt’s backpack and fell on his face, which gave Brooke & Scott a head start. But Brooke said she wasn’t a runner, and the boys soon passed them up. Both teams crossed the finish line and got the clue.
 
SPEEDY MCSPEEDERSON
 
Back in Arahova, Liz & Michael finally arrived – and were surprised to discover that they’d been U-Turned. They gave a sarcastic thumbs-up, Michael saying, “Unbelievable, knowing we have a Speed Bump.” They ripped the clue in fifth place, and decided to start with For the Bride. Michael continued to gripe, “Thanks, Scott. Thanks, Brooke – that’s real classy. I’m so glad, Brooke, that I helped you in Dar es Salaam when you couldn’t finish your damn ladle!” In flashback we saw Michael helping Brooke at the Roadblock in Leg Four, and their agreement that she and Scott would never U-Turn him and Liz. Michael added in interview, “It was just so easy for them to lie to us, and to turn their backs on us…. It was a slap in the face for sure.” As they began saddling their donkey, Becca & Floyd arrived. Team Fun was likewise shocked to find that they’d been U-Turned. Floyd said, “We honestly never expected to be U-Turned…. Even though we know we’re a strong team, we didn’t think everyone perceived us as that.” Becca added, “And we’re Team Fun! No one wants to U-Turn Team Fun.” Floyd said, “Exactly – you can’t do that.”
 
Liz & Michael began leading their donkey down the road, still complaining about their situation. Michael called Brooke & Scott cowards, and Liz added, “They only take. They never give anything.” They soon found the first cheese maker, and got a cheese. Becca & Floyd started out as well, although they were in better spirits, nicknaming their donkey Speedy McSpeederson. Liz & Michael then got their second cheese, and headed back to the wedding as Becca & Floyd delivered their first tin of milk. Liz & Michael handed over their cheese to the bride, who then sent them off to the second Detour. They crossed paths with Becca & Floyd, Becca greeting them, “Hey, fellow U-Turnees!” Floyd said they just got there, and were still trying to find the second cheese maker – and Liz & Michael suddenly realized they were still in the Race.
 
SNEAKY CHEESE LADY
 
Outside the large pillared building known as the Zappeion, Tara & Joey arrived and ripped the clue in first place. It was a Roadblock, in which teams had to master part of the changing of the guard ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Tara opted for it, and headed inside. She said, “I’m an officer in the United States Army, and that’s what my life is all about for the last twenty years.” She changed into a traditional uniform, and began practicing the high-stepping choreography with an instructor. Matt & Redmond and Brooke & Scott then arrived and ripped the clue. Matt and Brooke ran inside to begin, Brooke asking, “Can I pee?”
 
Back in Arahova, Liz & Michael arrived at the base of the steps for For the Groom. A gun went off, and they started sprinting up, along with a man in traditional dress. Michael began lagging, however, and soon had to stop completely to catch his breath. Becca & Floyd then found the second “sneaky cheese lady” and got their cheese. At the top of the steps, dancers and musicians greeted Liz as she arrived and waited for Michael. He finally made it, and they found the shepherd, who placed a baby goat around Liz’s shoulders. She and Michael then started back down, the goat baaa-ing as they went. Michael said, “I haven’t eaten all day. You don’t want to be hollering for me, bud.” Back at the top of the hill, however, the shepherd stood with a second goat.
 
GET YOUR GOAT
 
At the wedding, Becca & Floyd delivered their cheeses, and headed off to For the Groom. Liz & Michael then arrived with their goat, but the Bride said they needed to do the other Detour. Confused, they read the clue again – and realized they were each supposed to get a gift for the groom. Liz moaned, “He’s got to get a goat! God bless America,” and they headed back to the steps. As they (slowly) climbed up, the gun then went off for Becca & Floyd, and they began sprinting. At the top, the shepherd put a second goat over Michael’s shoulders. The animal brayed loudly, and Michael grumbled, “Get over it, bud.” As he and Liz started down the steps, Becca & Floyd arrived and got a sheep and a goat.
 
At the wedding, Liz & Michael delivered their animals and got the clue in fifth place. As they got in their car, they spotted Becca & Floyd running. Michael said, “Here they come, and they both have goats – damn.” The two teams headed off, both knowing they still had a shot. At the stadium, London & Logan crossed the finish line in fourth place, and left for the Zappeion. There, Tara, Matt and Brooke practiced the routine. Tara was ready first, and headed into the courtyard with her instructor. But despite her history of handling weapons, she flubbed her grip on the gun, and gave an extra kick during the footwork. She was rejected, but since nobody else was waiting to perform, she began again immediately. This time she handled the gun properly, and was approved. As Matt and Brooke continued to practice, Tara & Joey ripped the clue in first place. It told them to make their way to the next Pit Stop at Areios Pagos, on the grounds of the Acropolis.
 
SECOND IS FINE
 
As Tara ran to get changed, Brooke began her first attempt. But she didn’t kick properly, and was rejected. Tara & Joey then ran out, Joey saying it couldn’t be far, and they didn’t want to waste time in a taxi. As Matt continued to practice, Redmond said that Matt did the Roadblock because he’s only done two so far. “And he’s just going to look so adorable in this outfit.” Brooke then successfully completed her second attempt, and got the clue in second place. Scott said, “It could be a race for first.” He then realized it’d be a foot race, and added, “Second is fine.” Matt then performed his first attempt and was approved, getting the clue in third place. Brooke & Scott headed for the Pit Stop, but Brooke was already complaining: “I’m dying, and I still haven’t peed!” Matt & Redmond started out as well.
 
London & Logan then arrived at the Zappeion, and London opted for the Roadblock. Meanwhile, Liz & Michael continued driving towards Athens. Liz said, “Brooke & Scott are public enemy number one at this point.” Michael reiterated that they wouldn’t even be in the Race if he hadn’t helped Brooke back in Dar es Salaam. Becca & Floyd drove as well, but concentrated on remaining positive. On the grounds of the Acropolis, among the crumbing ruins, Tara & Joey arrived at the Pit Stop. Phil told them they were team number one, and awarded them $7,500 each. Further out on the grounds, Brooke & Scott spotted the Acropolis in the distance. Meanwhile, Matt & Redmond found Phil in second place.
 
MEAT MUMMIES
 
Back at the Zappeion, London completed her second attempt, and was approved in fourth place. It was now dark outside, but Brooke & Scott finally spotted a Race arrow near the Pit Stop. Brooke shouted, “You’ve got to be kidding!” They arrived on the mat third, Scott saying to the toga-clad greeter, “Hello. You’re handsome.” He went on to say about the U-Turn: “For us to stay in the game, we had to push someone further down. And for us, that was Mike & Liz. So it’s a very hard decision, but we have to play the game.” Becca & Floyd and Liz & Michael continued driving through Athens, looking for the stadium. They found it at nearly the same time. Becca & Floyd were thrilled to see Liz & Michael’s Speed Bump there. As Team Fun began running around the track, Liz & Michael ripped the clue and learned that they had to prepare Kokoretsi by wrapping intestines around skewers of meat. They headed to a nearby food truck.
 
As Becca & Floyd finished their lap in sixth place, Liz & Michael watched a chef demonstrate how to skewer the meat and wrap it in intestines. Michael said, “That Speed Bump was right in my wheelhouse…. It’s a butchery challenge. For all intents and purposes, that’s what I do every day.” Liz, however, said it smelled like anatomy class. Michael said the meat had to be completely encased in intestines. “Mummified, even.” Liz looked horrified. “I’m afraid to ask what animal this came from.” Nevertheless, she spun the skewer as Michael wrapped the intestines. They finally finished and headed back to the stadium, saying they weren’t out yet.
 
GOOD RACE, KID
 
Meanwhile, Becca & Floyd arrived at the Zappeion, and Becca opted for the Roadblock. Floyd said, “It’s just like marching band – channel your inner Floyd!” Liz & Michael then ran their lap around the track. At the Pit Stop, London & Logan arrived in fourth place – and celebrated their highest finish of the Race. At the Zappeion, Liz & Michael ripped the clue in last place and Liz opted for it, also saying it sounded like marching band. She began practicing as Becca performed her first attempt. But Becca flubbed her footing, and was rejected. On her second attempt, however, she was approved. As Liz began her first attempt, Becca & Floyd ran for the Pit Stop. Liz was then approved as well – but Becca & Floyd were already at the Acropolis. They ran for the mat, Becca saying, “Floyd, you’re the best partner I ever could’ve asked for.” They arrived in fifth place, and Phil told them they were still in the Race. Floyd said they were blessed to still be there, and that it was humbling to survive such a leg.
 
Liz & Michael then arrived, and Phil told them they were eliminated. Michael said Liz was like a sister to him. “We even fight like siblings.” Liz agreed that Michael was like a big brother. “To be able to stand here on this mat and accept defeat with you… it’s been a real privilege.” Michael added, “I’ll be checking in on her – snooping her Facebook page, making sure there’s no creepers…. Good race, kid.”
 
 
2808 ROUTE MARKERS
 
DETOUR: For the Bride or For the Groom. In For the Bride, teams had to transport cans of milk by donkey through the streets, and exchange them for specialty cheese from two different cheese makers. When they delivered the cheese to the bride, they’d receive their next clue. In For the Groom, they had to sprint up 252 steps, and then find a shepherd who’d give them each an animal to deliver to the groom.

For the Bride: Tara/Joey, Matt/Redmond, Brooke/Scott, London/Logan, Liz/Michael, Becca/Floyd

For the Groom: Liz/Michael, Becca/Floyd

ROADBLOCK: Teams had to perform part of a changing of the guard routine.

Performed Roadblock: Tara, Brooke, Matt, London, Becca, Liz
 
SPEED BUMP: Liz & Michael had to prepare Kokoretsi by wrapping skewers of meat with intestines.
 
U-TURN:
Brooke & Scott U-Turned Liz & Michael
Tara & Joey U-Turned Becca & Floyd
 
Order of Finish:Tara & JoeyMatt & RedmondBrooke & ScottLondon & LoganBecca & FloydLiz & Michael