CBS

Season 14: Episode 9 - Our Parents Will Cry Themselves to Death (China)

Our Parents Will Cry Themselves to Death (China): The race heated up in Guilin, China as Jen and Luke scuffled at two clueboxes leading to an explosive Pit Stop, where Margie accused the sisters of laughing at her son while he signed. After the dust settled, brothers Mark & Michael were eliminated from the race.

OFF TO CHINA Departing the Pit Stop in first place at 9:36am, mother and son Margie & Luke opened their clue instructing them to fly over 1,000 miles to Guilin, China. When they landed, they had to travel by taxi to the street of Qing Xiu Lu and find a hair salon for their next clue.

With a sizable lead over the other teams, Margie & Luke jumped on the 11:20am flight to Guangzhou where they had to wait for a connecting flight to Guilin that departed at 8:30pm. Former NFL cheerleaders Jaime & Cara and sibling lawyers Tammy & Victor booked the 1:15pm Kenya Air flight to Guangzhou, where they would also catch the 8:30pm flight to Guilin. Sisters Kisha & Jen grabbed the 3:20pm flight to Guangshou, but had to settle for a 9:10pm flight to Guilin, 40 minutes behind the other three teams. With a Speed Bump task ahead of them, last place brothers and stuntmen Mark & Michael left Bangkok on the 6:10pm flight to Guangzhou.

Landing in Guangzhou, Margie & Luke waited for their 8:30pm connecting flight to Guilin and soon had company with Tammy & Victor and Jaime & Cara. At the gate, the three teams heard the bad news that their flight would be delayed. This delay meant that sisters Jennifer & Kisha boarded their 9:10pm flight in first place, as the other teams waited.

Landing in Guilin, sisters Kisha & Jen didn’t know they had a lead on the other teams saying, “There was nobody on our flight, so we don’t know what the hell is going on right now.” Tammy & Victor, Margie & Luke, and Jaime & Cara landed minutes later and raced out of the airport. Tammy & Victor enjoyed a distinct advantage in being able to speak Chinese to their taxi driver, leaving their competition worried. Luke joked, “I want to go to a country where all the people are deaf and all the people sign so we would have the advantage.”

THE BATTLE BEGINS As the sun rose over Guilin, Kisha & Jen arrived on the street of Qing Xiu Lu, but their driver could not find the hair salon. The sisters’ lead completely evaporated as they got out of their taxi and proceeded on foot, while Tammy & Victor and Margie & Luke began circling the street in their taxis. Ultimately, Jaime & Cara got the driver with the best sense of direction as they arrived at the salon in first place. Opening their clue, the former NFL cheerleaders discovered they had to travel to the #24 Bridge on the banks of the Li River. Tammy & Victor spotted the salon only moments after Jaime & Cara and the two teams raced to the Li River.

As Mark & Michael landed in Guilin, Kisha & Jen and Margie & Luke both wandered around the street looking for the hair salon. Once the two teams finally located it, neither could spot the cluebox that was clearly in plain sight right outside the salon. Almost simultaneously, Luke and Jen saw the box and lunged toward it. Luke reached the box first, but when Jen came up alongside him and tried to sneak in, Luke reacted by throwing his elbow, almost hitting Jen in the face. After getting her clue, Jen called Luke a bitch because in her words, “it was a bitch move.”

The tension between the two teams escalated once they returned to their taxi heading to the #24 Bridge. When Margie informed her son that Jen had called him a bitch, his look of shock said it all as he replied, “Calling a deaf guy a bitch is not nice.” Margie added, “I didn’t expect that from her. It’s just wrong.” Meanwhile, Kisha didn’t appreciate Luke’s flying elbow, saying, “It was bad sportsmanship on their part. That wasn’t cool at all.”

Arriving at #24 Bridge in first place just ahead of Jaime & Cara, siblings Tammy & Victor discovered a Roadblock. In it, one team member had to take a raft out to the middle of the Li River and, with the help of a local, train birds known as cormorants to retrieve fish. Once they got their cormorant to return with a fish ten times, they would receive their next clue.

ROUND TWO As Jaime and Tammy boarded their rafts to begin fishing with cormorants, the taxis of Margie & Luke and Kisha & Jen pulled up to the #24 Bridge together. The two teams raced to the cluebox, but this time Jen beat Luke. However, while Jen stopped as she reached the box, Luke kept running, and plowed into her, pushing her into the cluebox, which almost tumbled over. When Jen steadied herself, she opened the cluebox to grab a clue and threw an elbow at Luke who tried to reach around and take a clue ahead of her. This aggressive elbow maneuver prompted Margie to yell, “Cut it out!” Coming to her sister’s defense, Kisha responded, “He pushed her. He pushed her.” With Luke & Jen joining Tammy & Jaime on the water, the two teams fumed over their second encounter. Kisha joked, “This is getting ugly”, while Margie asked, “What’s wrong with that woman?”

GONE FISHIN’ On their rafts, the racers marveled as the cormorants would dutifully retrieve fish that had been tossed underwater. Jaime joked, “It was amazing that they were able to train them to not eat the fish. I know that if someone tossed filet mignon in my mouth I do not believe that I would give it back.”

Not all racers had a good time with the cormorants however. Tammy soon discovered that she had a disobedient bird that flew off during the task. It eventually returned, but the bird’s truancy knocked her down to fourth place. Luke faired worse when one of his cormorants bit him, drawing blood. After yelping in pain, Luke called the perpetrator a “dumb bird.” Zooming ahead in first place to the ancient South Gate, sisters Kisha & Jen viewed the cormorant attack on Luke somewhat differently, saying, “I really believe in karma.”

Arriving at the hair salon in last place, brothers Mark & Michael encountered their Speed Bump task. In it, the pair had to work as stylists washing and drying hair of two local women. Getting down to business, the brothers rolled up their sleeves, poured shampoo on the ladies’ heads and began to scrub away. After working up a nice lather, the duo rinsed the women’s heads, dried their hair and then continued onward to #24 Bridge hoping to still catch at least one team.

PERFECT PENMANSHIP Still leading the pack, sisters Kisha & Jen arrived at the South Gate to find a Detour with the choice of Choreography or Calligraphy. In Choreography, teams had to make their way to the central island, and join a group of locals performing their morning dance routine, a popular form of exercise in Guilin. After learning the dance, the team had to perform it for a pair of judges who would hand them their next clue after they executed the steps correctly. In Calligraphy, teams had to make their way across the twin bridges and find the first of four calligraphy stations. Once there, they had to copy a series of Chinese characters that form the name of their next artist’s station. When they successfully reached the fourth and final station, the artist would hand them their next clue.

Kisha & Jen ran across the twin bridges and picked up brushed to draw the intricate Chinese characters at the first artist’s station. Soon, they were joined by Margie & Luke and Tammy & Victor. The three teams all successfully drew the characters within seconds of each other, so the deciding factor became finding each successive artist’s location. Margie & Luke and Kisha & Jen adopted the very wise strategy of sticking extremely close to Tammy & Victor who could ask locals for directions to each location in Chinese. At the fourth and final station, the three teams again finished moments apart and received their clue instructing them to race on foot to the next Pit Stop at Banyan Lake across from the famous Sun and Moon Pagodas.

DANCE FEVER Not surprisingly, former NFL cheerleaders Jaime & Cara opted to perform the dance routine, but they quickly discovered that the steps weren’t as easy to master as they thought. The pair continually had to start the routine over after bumping into another couple on the dance floor or forgetting a step. After completing what they thought was a perfect rendition, the pair still didn’t get a thumbs-up from the judge, causing Jaime to lash out. Eventually, Jaime & Cara realized that they didn’t receive their clue because they only performed the routine once instead of dancing until the music stopped.

SHOWDOWN IN CHINA The three-team foot race to the Pit Stop ended in the first victory for sisters Kisha & Jen, while Tammy & Victor finished in second place, and Margie & Luke settled for third. For their win, the excited sisters received a trip for two from Travelocity to Barbados.

When Phil noted that the race felt more tense than before, the animosity of the day’s events between Margie & Luke and Kisha & Jen boiled over. Both teams pled their case to Phil giving wildly different accounts of the incidents. Margie said that Jen “bashed into” Luke, while an incredulous Kisha vocally disagreed with that assessment. Unhappy with Jen’s retelling of the events, a furious Luke stormed off of the mat and in the distance and called Jen a bitch.

After Luke returned to the mat, he wanted to tell his side of the story to Phil. With the tension escalating, Kisha let out a nervous giggle that sent Margie into a rage. Margie shouted, “He’s signing and they’re laughing at him! He’s lived with this his whole life and he doesn’t need it from people like you. You should understand oppression because you’re black and you’ve lived with it.” Luke added, “My whole life, hearing people put deaf people down.” In her defense, Kisha said that she always laughs and smiles in tense situations, and apologized for any misunderstanding. That wasn’t good enough for Margie who continued to rail on the sisters, accusing them of laughing at her son. Even though Kisha & Jen again insisted they weren’t laughing at Luke, Margie fumed and glowered. Afterwards, Jen noted, “You can give us evil looks and we’ll just look at you and smile and it might piss you off more.” Margie commented, “I think they [Kisha & Jen] felt like, ‘Oh, we got away with something.’ It’s just been a bad day and I want it to be over.”

ELIMINATED After Jaime & Cara completed their dance to take fourth place, brothers Mark & Michael finished their dance, and arrived on the mat to receive the bad news that they had been eliminated from the race. On the experience, Mark said, “Doing THE AMAZING RACE with my brother was definitely special. He hung in there tough and we definitely created a very strong team to finish where we did in this race. I wouldn’t pick anyone else besides him.” Michael added, “This great race has definitely made me a better person. It’s humbled me a little bit…and it’s shown me places and people that I wouldn’t otherwise experience. This world’s an amazing place.”

1409 ROUTE MARKERS

Roadblock: A Roadblock is a task that only one person can perform. In this Roadblock, that team member had to take a raft out to the middle of the Li River where, with the help of a local, train birds known as cormorants, to retrieve fish. Once they got their cormorant to return with a fish ten times, they would receive their next clue.

Performed Road Block: JAIME, TAMMY, MICHAEL, JEN, LUKE

Detour: A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its pros and cons. In this Detour, teams had to choose between Choreography and Calligraphy. In Choreography, teams had to make their way to the central island and join a group of locals performing their morning dance routine, a popular form of exercise in Guilin. After learning the dance, the team had to perform it for a pair of judges who would hand them their next clue after they executed the steps correctly. In Calligraphy, teams had to make their way across the twin bridges and find the first of four calligraphy stations. Once there, they had to copy a series of Chinese characters that form the name of their next artist’s station. When they successfully reached the fourth and final station, the artist would hand them their next clue.

Choreography: MARK/MICHAEL, CARA/JAIME

Calligraphy: MARGIE/LUKE, TAMMY/VICTOR, KISHA/JEN

Speed Bump: Having been spared elimination in the last leg, Mark & Michael have now been hit with a Speed Bump, a task that only they have to complete. In this Speed Bump, they had to work as stylists washing and drying hair of two local women.

Order of Finish:

1. Kisha & Jen
2. Tammy & Victor
3. Margie & Luke
4. Jaime & Cara
5. Mark & Michael