Just doing a little shopping for my new wing-dog, Brover…
Tim got him in for an emergency suit fitting last week. We decided on a classic for my bro-dog: black, single-breasted, three buttons. (It was four, but he ate one, which I only discovered this morning on our walk. Eww.)
Brover and I are running a new play— the Lost & Found. Brover "runs away" but only gets found by hot chicks. You might be wondering, "what if Brover is found by some 30 year-old uggie?" He sleeps in the doghouse, that's what happens.
I rented Brover a 2,500 square paw apartment just down the street. It's a 3 bedroom, 2 fire hydrant loft and features a partial park view so he can gaze out at squirrels while chewing his morning newspaper.
ONE NIGHT STAND BAG
You love ‘em and leave ‘em—why should Brover do any different? This kit includes all of your bro-dog's one-night stand necessities:
• his and her robes
• massage oil
• pee pads
• heartworm medication
• rawhide chew toy to prevent cuddling and freshen breath
• a fresh change of flea collar for the next morning
• canine space suit disguise in case of stage 5 clinger (Those asteroids won't stop themselves!)
Illustration by Spencer Smith