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Barney's Blog: JINX!

Posted on Dec 17, 2012 09:15pm

JINX!
Question: What is a Jinx?

A) An awesome name for a stripper and/or American Gladiator.

B) A so-called "children's game" in which two individuals say the same thing at the same time and one calls "Jinx," the other must remain silent.

C) A completely, historically true story about a monk and an emperor from the Far East.

Answer:  All of the above!

Once upon a time in China, a really, really long time ago, during one of those dynasties, there was an Emperor who was really mean. He had cool robes and pet dragons and stuff, but he was basically a jerk. And he didn't like it when people talked at the same time as him. If anyone dared to do so, he would cut off their tongue. This Emperor's name… Jin Xi.

One day, a monk or a scribe or something approached Jin Xi and was like, "Dude, this is totally not cool, cutting off people's tongues. What if people promise not to talk until you give them permission instead?" And the Emperor was like, "Sounds good, I'll start with you. But, exciting new twist? If you talk before I tell you to, I get to cut off your deal. Cool?"  And the monk was like, "Uh… I guess."  And the Emperor was like, "Dude! You just talked! I'mma get my snip on now!" As the monk cowered in fear, Jin Xi said, "Psych! I was just playing you, bro! I wish you could see your face right now! Classic! Anyway, yeah, if you talk again, you'll be living in Castration City."   

And so the monk went silently back to his mountain top temple thing (like, one of those pads you see in kung fu movies that have a million steps up to the front door and you're like, "Glad I don't have to get the mail everyday"). He didn't utter a single word for years and years and years, and eventually got all old and his beard grew down to the mailbox and he died, but – and this is important – he never spoke again. Jin Xi was so impressed that he decided to honor the monk by no longer cutting off people's tongues. And that's why it's called a jinx. 

The End.

 

 

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