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Barney's Blog Public Service Bronouncement

Posted on May 13, 2013 06:00pm

PUBLIC SERVICE BRONOUNCEMENT
Just like my hands-on tutorial for tying a tie – be it around your neck (always a windsor) or to the bedpost (clove hitch) – this blog's main purpose is to educate. With that in mind, I had prepared a post detailing low-cost solutions for establishing reliable drinking water in developing nations (headline: a nice 18-year-old single malt kills most parasites), until a much more serious and pressing issue surfaced: Last night, I had a really, really bad meal.

Readers of this blog, do not eat at Restaurant Cher! Here is my updated review…

Restaurant Cher
Once a "favorite spot" for "exceedingly attractive couples," this former upscale bistro has taken a "giant dump." Known for its lovely "picture window" where diners can enjoy the "charming entertainment" of watching "bums fight and occasionally make love," as well as waitresses with "on average Double D's," Restaurant Cher has become "infested" with "the douchiest douches that ever douched." Seriously, these people were "the worst." Even their hair was "stupid." It was like being surrounded by a bunch of "mutant Teds." Between "regurgitating NPR sound bites" and "over-pronouncing the names of the Spanish villages they visited on their backpacking trip / spiritual awakening / cooking adventure," it's a miracle they had any time to shovel in their "organic free range beet salad." Also, the new waitresses feature "C cups at best."

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