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Last Night's Top Ten

Top Ten Text Messages From Satan

Thursday, July 31, 2014

10. Do you smell something not burning?

9. OMG -- just took a selfie with Mickey Rooney!

8. My only regret is starting the 'Real Housewives' franchise

7. Geez, Putin, dial it down a notch

6. Shane! Come back, Shane!

5. I don't want Rob Ford, you take him

4. Posted some new pictures on 'Pentagram'

3. Arranging Weird Al's comeback was exhausting

2. Hang on -- Dick Cheney's on the other line

1. Sorry about the L.A. Clippers, Don

Tonight's Guests

Emma Stone
Nathan Fielder
American Authors