Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, Judy Greer, and Aerosmith.
PLUS: A NYC Marathon Announcement; Mitt Romney: In His Own Words; Who Will You Choose on November 6th; Michael Bloomerg: The Bright Side; Alan Kalter's How to Beat the Carpool; and a Top Ten List presented by the Vice President of the United States Joe Biden.
" . . . and now, a carpool of one . . . . . . . David Letterman!"
- "There's a crane dangling over 57th Street. The city is working on getting the crane erect. They're sending over girls from Flashdancers."
- To show solidarity with all of our east coast viewers who are still without power, Dave tells the next few jokes in complete darkness. Uh oh. In the darkness, Dave could not see the cue cards. Tony Mendez was prepared. He had a flashlight on him. Dave borrows the flashlight to shine on the card.
The New York City Marathon is scheduled for this Sunday. Mayor Bloomberg says the race will go on as planned. The details are in this announcement.
ANNOUNCE: "Mayor Bloomberg has announced that even though the five boroughs were hit hard by Hurricane Sandy, the New York City Marathon will go ahead as scheduled on Sunday. And Republican Vice Presidential hopeful Paul Ryan would like to announce that he finished the 2012 New York City Marathon in 2 hours, 52 minutes, and 12 seconds.
Paul Ryan: Spot me."
Some people are having a hard time pinning down exactly who Mitt Romney really is. Tonight, we've prepared: "Mitt Romney: In His Own Words."
We see Mr. Romney giving a speech: "I've always been, if you will, a rodent." If we will? OK, we will.
The Presidential campaign is in its final days, and the candidates are making their closing arguments. Dave isn't sure what to make of this campaign commercial.
ANNOUNCE: "America is facing problems of historic proportions, and your vote could mean the difference between prosperity and ruin. But who will you choose?
(ominous tone/image of Obama) Will you choose the elite, multi-millionaire, Harvard-educated lawyer who overhauled the health care system?
(happy, light, uplifting/image of Romney) Or the elite multi-millionaire, Harvard-educated lawyer who overhauled the health care system? Choose wisely, America."
Here's something, "Michael Bloomberg: The Bright Side"
We see the Mayor rallying the troops at a press conference.
MAYOR: "I have to point out that I don't think we've had a murder in the past 2 - 3 days, so some good news."
Dave ain't too happy about the Mayor going ahead with the New York City Marathon this Sunday. There's a lot of pain out there, people needing help. We really aren't in the position to use hundreds of police offices to watch a parade of runners when there is a whole lot of hurt and grief in the streets of the city. That said, Dave is a fan of the marathon. Last year he sprained his Achilles during the race at around Mile 10. He jumped from the couch to get a beer and landed wrong.
TOP TEN: GOOD THINGS ABOUT VOTING EARLY - 40% of the voters will be voting early in the 2012 Presidential Election. Is that really true? I wouldn't think so, but it was information I found on the internets, so it must be true.
And to present tonight's Top Ten list, the Vice President of the United States of America, Joe Biden.
We meet and greet Senator Biden via satellite.
GOOD THINGS ABOUT VOTING EARLY
8. "You know who votes early? People with a backbone like a ramrod."
6. "If you vote early, you don't have to pay taxes . . . (Biden looks off camera . . . ) I'm sorry, I'm being told that's not accurate."
5. "Single and looking to mingle? Find that special someone on the early voting line."
3. "Not exercising your right to vote early is malarkey . . . it's literally malarkey."
2. "Early voters will receive a $5 million donation from Donald Trump."
To see the Vice President presenting the Top Ten, check it out on the Late Show website.
STEVEN TYLER AND JOE PERRY
Aerosmith has sold over 150 million albums and they've been performing for 41 years. The band has gone through some bumpy times over the years which is natural, I guess. Lots of highs and lows on the road. But the real culprit for all the problems comes from SONY. It stinks when business gets in the way of music but after all these years, they gang can still get together to put out some great music. Their new album is entitled, "Music From Another Dimension" which will be out on Tuesday.
During the commercial break, Steven Tyler sings and dances to "Good Lovin'"
Since the hurricane, the traffic in and around the city has been abominable. The mayor implemented a new 3-passenger per car rule in order to enter the city. Our announcer has some helpful information on this.
ALAN KALTER: "Thanks, Dave. To east traffic nightmares during these difficult days, Mayor Bloomberg has announced carpooling regulations. Private vehicles need at least three occupants in order to enter Manhattan via the major bridges and tunnels. If you're a motorist looking for two passengers, I've got the solution. My online erotic emporium, Kalterworld.com, offers a wide range of female sex dolls which can also be used to fool the authorities at carpool checkpoints. I've got a wide selection of different hair colors, body types, tattoos, skin textures, and other options I can't mention on network television. So let these beauties help you get through that long, difficult drive and then enjoy an evening of ecstasy as you indulge in your wildest. . . ."
DAVE: "Alan! Alan, stop that! That's enough!"
ALAN: "That website again: kalterworld.com."
DAVE: "Alan, you just made a difficult week even worse."
ANNOUNCE: "Do whatever it takes to catch tomorrow's show, with Dave's guests Jason Sudeikis, comedian Michael Che, and Ultraista. The Mayor's Fund to Advance New York City is providing relief to city residents affect by Hurricane Sandy. You can help. Visit NYC.gov/fund to make a donation.
She's from the new Broadway play, "Dead Accountants," . . . . or more like "Dead Accounts." I freeze up when I hear Dave get the title wrong to something. I'll take a peek at the script to see if I typed it write. Thankfully in this case, I had the right "Dead Accounts." Maybe Tony had it wrong on his cue card. I'll usually glance through his cards before the show to eyeball any mistakes on his cards, or discover that I had it wrong. I don't remember having time to check Tony's cards. After the show, he told me with great relief that he had it right, too. As I was checking my cards and wondering about Tony's, Judy described something about acting on a live stage and doing either a #1 or #2. Of course she didn't mean the schoolyard #1 or #2, but it was funny and she got the giggles. We then learn that Judy is engaged to the co-executive producer of "Real Time with Bill Maher." Seems he's a big Neil Diamond fan. He can't help but sing along any time he hears a Neil Diamond song. And he's not afraid to dance alone to a Neil Diamond song. Whenever I talk about Neil Diamond, I say that he's "recession proof." People often will silently nod in agreement to that bull'djoy' line. Try it.
Judy Greer - you can see her in the new Broadway play, "Dead Accounts," at the Music Box Theater. Previews begin Monday November 5th.
From their new album, "Music From Another Dimension," Aerosmith performed "What Could Have Been Love." And then after the show for the studio audience, and for the web viewers, Aerosmith performed one of their classics. You'll have to check it out to find out what song it was.
And that was our show for November 01, 2012.
To prevent the huge buildup of cars in Manhattan due to the trains being down, the city has decided to only let cars with 3 people or more to enter the city from the bridges and tunnels after 6 AM. . . . except for the George Washington Bridge . . . my bridge. The GW isn't included in the limited use because of the difficult logistics in enforcing the ruling. This was good for me, but it also told me that everyone will be heading for the GW Bridge Thursday morning, especially those from Westchester. This would jam up the West Side Highway. How would I attach this? I decided to make it across before 6 AM. As I thought, the West Side Highway was packed at that hour. I decided to drive down the center of Manhattan along Columbus Avenue. It was the right decision.
So I was parked and on my way to the office at 6:35 AM. I was in the mood to treat myself so I stopped at a deli for a large coffee and a bacon and egg on a roll. I got my goods and went to pay. Just as I plopped my stuff on the counter, the guy at the register gets a phone call. He stops what he is doing to take the call. He apparently was unable to do two things at once. I waited for him to finish his call, but he wasn't finishing. Would I do it? I know what was going through my mind. I had my ten dollar bill in my hand. I looked up at the guy on the phone. He looked back at me. And then I shoved the bill in my pocket and walked out. He shouts, "Sir! Sir!" Without turning I shout back, "Sell it to the guy on the phone."
All I wanted was a bacon and egg on a roll. Why does it have to become such a big problem to get a bacon and egg? Now I really want a bacon and egg on a roll, so who suffers from my pique of impatience? I guess we both did, in a way. Who benefits? The next guy who wants to buy something when the guy at the register gets a phone call.
It's 6:50 AM right now. I just heard there is an hour wait to get on the George Washington Bridge. Woo hoo! I made the right choice!
The big problem in the area is getting gas for your car. The stations aren't pumping without electricity. And those who are pumping are running out of gas without refills coming in. Me . . . . . I'm good for today. I think I'll stay home on Friday.
Oh, and I have no internet service at home. This, and Friday's Wahoo, will be short and to the point.
It's 8:45 AM Thursday morning. The GW Bridge leads from New Jersey over the Hudson into New York City. From the bridge you can continue to Long Island, to Connecticut, north to Westchester, or into Manhattan. Commuters were under the impression that they could drive over the bridge alone, not with the required 3 people the other bridges and tunnels call for. Well, that has changed. The loophole has been closed. Cars going south on the West Side Highway are now being turned back. It's a big "Ooops" by the NYPD and/or MTA. This is going to be a huge mess all day long and back up traffic on the bridge, on the Jersey Turnpike, and all roads leading to the bridge. I'm sure the commuters will be very understanding and remain calm. And I feel bad for the police officers who are now responsible to inform the commuters of the "ooops" the highly-paid brass has made. I imagine the big shots are far away from the action. I'm watching this LIVE on the news right now. It's obvious the police officers on the scene are getting conflicting information. They had a checkpoint, then they took down the checkpoint, and now the checkpoint is back.
I got up at 5:00 AM and I'm enjoying . . . hold it! They just opened up the West Side Highway to everyone. They took down the checkpoint! Oh, boy. Things are moving. The police on the scene just got new information. Now I'm thinking of the last car they turned around. How mad is he?!
They are calling the checkpoint on the West Side Highway an "inadvertent checkpoint." HA! Yeah yeah yeah, it was just a simply mistake. And now many man-hours did this "inadvertent checkpoint" cost? I feel awful when I made an inadvertent mistake which affects hardly anyone. I wonder how the person who made THIS inadvertent mistake now feels.
The reason so many people feel they MUST get to work is because they have no power at home and CAN'T work from home.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Yikes! They are 17 years old today. Happy Birthday to Dominique McIntee and Danielle McIntee. If you were born today in 2012, you never would have made it to the hospital and you would have been born in a New York City taxi cab.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee