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Thursday, November 8, 2012 Cue card boy Tony Mendez sends The Beltway Bunch packing.
Show #3756
Robin Williams and Lianne La Havas.
PLUS: The Fiscal Cliff; Mitt Gets on With His Life; Obama's Leftover Campaign Funds; Is This Anything?; the Beltway Bunch; and a Top Ten List with Homer Simpson.


" . . . and now, bored poll taker with nothing to do . . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE
- "I waited four hours to vote yesterday. Later found out I was on a gas line."
- "Now it's being reported that people are offering sex for gas. With my luck, I'd still have to pump my own."

There's been a lot of talk about the impending "Fiscal Cliff" and a lot of confusion about what it means. CNN tried to explain it today, but Dave isn't sure if it helped. We take a look.
We find Wolf Blitzer trying to educate: "The election is over. Congress is coming back to Washington to deal with what's being called 'The Fiscal Cliff.' Here's a brief illustration of what we're talking about."
We cut to the CNN monitor. It shows the Mountain Climber game from the "Price Is Right." The mountain climber climbs the mountain . . . and falls off the cliff. Wah wah wah wah.
The future doesn't look good.

Losing an election is a very tough thing to go through, but it looks like Mitt Romney is putting it behind him and getting on with his life. We take a look.
ANNOUNCE: (shot of the White House) "Today, Mitt Romney bought the building at 1602 Pennsylvania Avenue, demolished it, and built an even bigger White House.
A message from Pretend President Romney."

It's always interesting to see what politicians do with their leftover campaign contributions. President Obama has begun burning if off with a new series of post-election commercials. We take a look at one.
ANNOUNCE: "Hey, Clint . . . . (photo of Clint Eastwood) . . . . . 'givl' you."
OBAMA (with mustache) "I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this message because I believe we're all in this together."

ACT 2:
TOP TEN: REASONS, I, HOMER SIMPSON, AM PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN
- Here to present tonight's Top Ten List, the patriarch of the Simpsons, Homer Simpson.
Homer enters and takes his place center stage. Dave welcomes Homer. Homer mumbles that he was told there wouldn't be any chit chat.
REASONS, I, HOMER SIMPSON, AM PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN
9. Warnings on cups tell you hot things are hot.
4. We own Hawaii.

To watch Homer present the entire Top Ten list, click on the Late Show website.

"The Simpsons" is the longest-running American primetime scripted television program of all time, with 511 episodes. That's as many wins as Cy Young. All new episodes begin this Sunday on the FOX at 8:00 PM.

Ooh, this is exciting. We have a real treat for the folks tonight. We're pleased to welcome a political singing group whose clever satire has been delighting audiences around the country. It's the Beltway Bunch. The scrim rises and four energetic and gleeful vocalists start to sing the satirical ditties.
To the tune of Paul's Zogby Poll theme:
"Fiscal Cliff! Fiscal Cliff! We're all a-headin' for the Fiscal Cliff!
Watch out, Dave! Watch out, Biff! We're headin' for that Fiscal Cliff!"

Change tune to "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Man Right Out of My Hair"
"I'm gonna wash that Mitt right out of my hair!
Clint Eastwood talkin' to an empty chair!"


Change tune to "le Freak"
"Ahh, Swing State! Too close to call!
Swing State! The winner takes all.
Swing State . . . . . ."


Suddenly, Cue Card Tony barges in like Jimmy Durante: "Stop the music! Stop the music! This is terrible! Stop it! Get out of here! Get off my stage! This is awful! Yes, leave! Go!"
The Beltway Bunch slink off.
DAVE: "Tony, I'll talk to you in my office later."
TONY: (pointing at Dave) "I did the right thing and you know it."

Who knew Tony had standards?!

ACT 3:
ROBIN WILLIAMS
Hey, he looks all cleaned up, shaven, and shiny. Robin is in town for the New York Comedy Festival and can be seen at the 92nd Street Y this Sunday for a conversation. Dave thanks Robin for the effort he made to get here. Due to the nor'easter storm, he had to fly in the Washington DC and then take a car here. He sends out his prayers to those who suffered through, and are still suffering through, Hurricane Sandy. He finds it a bit off that such a benign name as Sandy would be associated with such a devastating weather catastrophe. He likens it to a serial killer being named Timmy.
Congratulations are in order! Robin is celebrating his one year wedding anniversary. He admits that only in Hollywood is one year of marriage a reason for applause. How'd he and the wife celebrate? It had something to do with a mud slide. This probably had something to do with how clean and shiny Robin was. Robin got to know Marlon Brando and conversation turns to one of America's most notable actors. Robin does a very strong Brando impersonation, followed by an equally strong Jack Nicholson and Christopher Walken. I was impressed.
Robin is in town to participate in the "Stand Up For Heroes" benefit for the Bob Woodruff Foundation as part of the annual New York Comedy Festival.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Catch tomorrow's Late Show, with Dave's guests Anderson Cooper, comedian Myq Kaplan, and Alberta Cross. . The Mayor's Fund to Advance New York City is providing relief to city residents affected by Hurricane Sandy. You can help. Visit NYC.gov/fund to make a donation.
Thank you."

ACT 6:
IS THIS ANYTHING?
It's a guy on a ladder with a giant yo-yo. Paul thinks it is nothing. Dave has to agree. In fact, it displeased him so much he says it pissed him off. During the commercial break leading up to Is This Anything, I suggested that Tony reprise his hammed up, over-the-top acting, and disrupt the act, ordering the yo-yo guy off the stage. My suggestion was met with, "Yeah, that would be funny." That's the point, right?

The giant yo-yo reminded me of my wood shop class in high school. While everyone was making a bowl on the wood lathe, I drew up plans to make a yo-yo. The teacher asked if I was serious. I said I was. He told me to make a bowl instead.
And if I was given the go ahead to make the yo-yo, who knows, maybe I would be Harold Larkin instead of Harold Larkin being Harold Larkin.

ACT 7:
LIANNE LA HAVAS: From her CD, "Is Your Love Big Enough?" Lianne la Havas performed a very enjoyable "Is Your Love Big Enough?" I'll be looking for the CD to hear more. Liked the guitar-play.

And that was our show for Thursday November 8, 2012.

WAHOO EXTRA
Yikes. Two and a half hours to get home Wednesday night. It may have been the worst weather I had ever driven through. Snow and rain and snow and sleet and snow. For three mile on the other side of the George Washington Bridge I was driving at a walker's pace with a lot of stops. There was a moment there where I thought I would be sitting on the Palisades Parkway through the night. And by morning Thursday, the roads were clear. By Friday morning, the snow was gone. And it'll be 65 on Sunday.

When I vote at the local firehouse, there is always a bake sale that I like to take advantage of. It's also why I like to vote early in the day. I was surprised that many here at work do not experience the bake sale at their voting locale. Show of hands, how many have a bake sale at their voting station?

It's a bit dated but it was a good idea for Mayor Bloomberg to cancel the New York City Marathon due to the ongoing emergency response to the damage of Hurricane Sandy. His waiting till Friday to cancel was immediately met with my cynicism radar. Hmmm, thousands would be coming into the city from all over the world to run the marathon. That's a lot of hotel rooms and dinner reservations. I suspect the Mayor waited till Friday to cancel, making it too late for many to cancel their flights and hotel reservations. The city gets the marathon revenue without the cost of running a marathon. Well played, Mr. Mayor! That's why he waited till Friday to cancel. Of course, that's my cynicism talking. But reading the newspapers on Saturday and Sunday I learned I wasn't the only one thinking this way. Many voiced the same suspicions as I did.

I read one letter to the editor who complained that the marathon was canceled. His belief was that to get past all the disruption caused by the hurricane we should go ahead with the marathon as a step back to normalcy. I had to laugh. The New York City Marathon is the furthest thing from normalcy! It is a terrible inconvenience for those who live here. Yes, it's quite a sight, but terrible inconvenient.
Organizers of the marathon blamed the media for the run being canceled. The organizers have it wrong. They should be giving credit to the media for having the run canceled, not blame.

And now my New York City marathon story. I may have told it once or twice before.

It was back in the days of being a New York City Police Officer. I was working crowd control along 1st Avenue in the East '80s of Manhattan. This is about the 17 mile mark of the run. It's an exciting part of the race because the runners have just left Queens, run over the 59th Street Bridge, to be welcomed by a huge crowd along First Avenue. Anyway, a woman needs to cross First Avenue to get to the Vet with her dog. She was on the east side of First and needed to get to the west side of First. She pointed to the building she had to get to. I told her it was impossible. At this time of the race, there were just way too many runners for her to cross. If she wanted to get across the street, she had to go down to 57th Street, just south of the Marathon, cross First Avenue and walk back up to E83rd. She was livid. She wanted me to escort her across. I laughed and told her "not a chance." If you've ever seen how crowded it gets on First Avenue during the marathon, you know I'm telling the truth. She kept at me and kept at me, demanding I do something to help her cross. I again told her she had to go below 57th Street to cross the Avenue. I couldn't really blame her for being so angry. I decided to take a walk halfway up the block. I knew she was going to chance it and go across First Avenue and I didn't want to be there when she tried, but I definitely didn't want to miss it either. So I walked up the street with a paper in my hand to make it look like I had something to do for the race. Sure enough, a minute later she made a go for it. It was hilarious. "Frogger" at its best. She was clutching her little dog to her chest all the while dodging thousands of weary, exhausted, hallucinating runners. She made it no more than 15 feet across before she got spun around and knocked to the ground. I started writing something on my piece of paper to make it look like I was doing something for the race. She got back up, got knocked down, then crawled to where she started. She crawled under the barrier and was gone. I put the piece of paper away for later use and moseyed on back to my post. Everyone was laughing, telling me it was a shame I missed it.

And that's the normalcy the marathon brings to New York City.

The Wahoo Gazette --- still only a nickel.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It's her birthday today! Ramapo High School alum, Jill Cohen Koffler
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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