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Friday, November 9, 2012 Dave and Anderson Cooper enjoy a manly cocktail.
Show #3757
Anderson Cooper, Myq Kaplan, and Alberta Cross.
PLUS: the New Weather; Con Ed Power Outage Update; Dick Morris: Good Call; Obama responds to Trump; and the Weekend Late Show with Bruce and Linda.

" . . . and now, made with real meat juices . . . . . . David Letterman!"

Portions of this will be short. I was in the office only for a minute on Friday and didn't have the time to do the Wahoo its usual justice.

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE

-"Sad. Mitt Romney will never get the chance to show how lousy a President he was destined to be."
-"Republicans said they are ready to work with Obama. Gee, I wonder what bought that on."

During the show, Dave made a few references of hitting the Cutty Sark. It stemmed from a story Dave told during the Q&A about getting into his dad's hooch.

We broke the earth. Weathercasters are seeing things they've never seen before. It's time now for "This Week In The New Weather."
ANNOUNCE: "Meteorologists were stunned when two storms collided over the Indian Ocean forming a pattern which strongly resembled actress Sofia Vergara."
We see a simple animation of two storms in the Indian Ocean coming together to form a silhouette that looks like busty Sofia Vergara.
SFX – wolf whistle
ANNOUNCE: "This has been ‘This Week in The New Weather,' a Merv Griffin Production."

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has criticized the city's electricity suppliers for their "lack of performance." Con Ed has responded by releasing this statement updating area residents on their progress. ANNOUNCE: "As soon as the latest weather system passes, Con Ed crew will once again resume restoring power to our customers in the metropolitan area. Once that phase is complete, crews will then begin fortifying the grid by diverting power from non-essential areas."
Cut to the women on The View cackling about make-up and nails or something. We see the lights flicker, then go out. Not sure if they noticed.
ANNOUNCE: "This has been a ‘Con Ed Power Outage Update.'"

Remember all those predictions the pundits made before the election? Well, here's one we found from Dick Morris on the Fox News Channel. It's called, "Dick Morris: Good Call." We take a look.
We see Dick on "The O'Reilly Factor."
DICK MORRIS: "I stand exactly what I've been saying for eight months on this show . . . Romney's going to win by four to eight points (SFX: BUSS – big red "X") . . . He's going to get more than 300 electoral votes (SFX: BUSS – another big red "X") . . . Ohio is not going to decide the election (SFX: BUSS – another big red "X") . . . .Romney's going to carry Ohio (SFX: BUSS – another big red "X") . . . But he's also going to carry Pennsylvania (SFX: BUSS – another big red "X") . . . . He's probably going to carry Michigan (SFX: BUSS – another big red "X") . . . .He's probably going to carry Wisconsin, too (SFX: BUSS – another big red "X") . . . . I think he'll get somewhere between 300 and 350 electoral votes (SFX: BUSS – another big red "X").

ACT 2:
For quite a while, Donald Trump has been demanding to see the President's paperwork. After being re-elected Tuesday night, the President released this message.
ANNOUNCE: "Over the last few years, Donald Trump has demanded to see President Obama's birth certificate, passport records, and college transcripts. Now that he has been re-elected, the President would like to see Mr. Trump's tax returns . . . . for the last 20 years . . . today . . . . at the IRS office in Fairbanks, Alaska.
Barack Obama: checkmate!"

TOP TEN: SIGNS YOU'RE A LAME SPY
10. You fear height, loud noises, air travel, and enclosed places
9. Insist on wearing a cape
6. Your only gadget: cufflinks that shoot smaller cufflinks

ACT 3:
ANDERSON COOPER

Dave and Anderson share a glass of Cutty Sark. Dave then drinks from the bottle.
Dave places much of the blame for the Republicans losing on Karl Rove. He ran a campaign based on lies and fear. And he's probably going to get a beating from the Koch brothers who donated a ton of money and whom Karl promised a Romney win.
Dave tries to do a fist pump with a twist with Anderson. A confused Anderson gives up, explaining with a mutter, "Dave, I'm gay! We don't do this kind of thing." Dave says, "If I had a nickel for every time I heard that said to me . . . . ."
Dave asks Anderson why he decided to come out with his being gay this year. Anderson says he never really meant to keep it a secret. He's always been very open about to friends and family, but as a reporter he didn't want to BE the story. What he did on his own time wasn't important. But the stories were out there and Anderson felt that his being quiet about it could send the wrong message to a young kid somewhere that there is something wrong with being gay and you shouldn't talk about it.
Is there such a thing as gaydar? Dave is obviously joking and Anderson assures Dave there isn't any secret handshake or signal they have. No, there is no gaydar.

Anderson Cooper – you can see him on "Anderson Cooper 360" at 8 and 10 o'clock weeknights on the CNN. His daytime talk show, "Anderson Live" has been canceled too soon but will run through the summer of 2013.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Rest up for Monday's Late Show, with Dave's guests Bradley Cooper, Robert Klein, and Soundgarden. The Mayor's Fund to Advance New York City is providing relief to city residents affected by Hurricane Sandy. You can help. Visit NYC.gov/fund to make a donation. Thank you

ACT 6:
MYQ KAPLAN

His latest comedy CD is entitled, "Please Be Seated.

ACT 7:
ALBERTA CROSS
: From their sophomore album, "Songs of Patience," Alberta Cross performed "Money For The Weekend (Pocket Full of Shame)"

And that was our show for Friday, November 09, 2012.

I read the following in Monday's Phil Mushnick column in the New York Post:
"Milt Campbell, the finest forgotten athlete in U.S. history — in 1952, as a poor N.J. high school kid, he qualified for the Olympic decathlon knowing nothing about the event, then won silver, then the gold in '56 — died over the weekend, at 78."

Back in September, Dave was talking to Jimmy Fallon about Bruce Jenner and mentioned a number of past Olympic decathlon champions from the United States. At one time, "decathlon champion" was considered one of the top titles an athlete could have. I am familiar with many of the greats but was surprised to find the 1956 Gold Medal decathlon champion, Milt Campbell, was from New Jersey, shorts miles from where I grew up and where I live now. I wasn't sure if I ever heard the name. I looked into just who this Milt Campbell was. I learned he was from Plainfield, New Jersey, and naturally, he was a star high school athlete. And just this past year he was voted into the New Jersey Hall of Fame. I wrote in September:
"OK, next week I'm going to look up who got into the New Jersey Hall of Fame before Milt Campbell. There is something here I'm not getting. Okay, there's Woodrow Wilson and Thomas Alva Edison and Uncle Floyd, but who else is there who should go in before Milt Campbell? The name 'Milt Campbell' should have filtered down to me somehow over the years."

I checked the New Jersey Hall of Fame. The Hall has only been around since 2008, so I forgive the Garden State for putting off Milt Campbell's induction until 2012. The first few years of inductees were pretty impressive but it already is starting to weaken. Maybe I should move there and be recognized for authoring the longest continuously-running blog on the internet. I'm going to pretend the Wahoo Gazette is the longest continuously-running blog until someone tells me otherwise.

So, forever, I was unfamiliar with the local Milt Campbell. And then as soon as I learned about him, he was gone.

I was hanging curtain last week in the dining room. I've hung curtains before. What I've learned about hanging curtains is that the hardware provided with the curtain rods are merely a suggestion for you to go to Home Depot to buy better hardware. It's as if they include the hardware to suggest, "You'll need something like these drywall anchor pieces, only much better."
Instead of providing the cheap, non-functioning, half-cent drywall anchor pieces, couldn't the curtain rod people provide anchor pieces that cost maybe 2 cents each . . . anchor pieces that actually work? I'd be willing to pay the difference. I think most people would.

Hey, I have a new baseball team to root for. Local Suffern High School graduate Walt Weiss has just been named manager of the Colorado Rockies. Walt Weiss was the American League Rookie of the year in 1988, won a World Series with the Oakland A's, and was a National League All-Star in 1998. Walt is a handful of years younger than me. I remember going to watch him play against my alma mater, Ramapo Senior High School. Ramapo had a good lightning fast player, Tony Jacas, I believe. After the game, major league scouts at the game paired them in a 40 yard sprint. Don't remember who won.
That's the way I remember it anyway.
Got time to kill? Check out the oddly entertaining website of the oddly entertaining and former Late Show staffer Chris Moloney at http://philmfotos.tumblr.com/
It's yesterday's photos of yesterday's films held up to match photos of today's New York City.

Don't forget to hang your flag on Sunday.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Rock Wilk. Congratulations. The hardest working man on Broadway.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

Tonight's Guests

Sarah Hyland

Wahoo Gazette Archive

Wednesday, April 9
How does Lindsay Lohan like her scrambled eggs?
Tuesday, April 8
Dave guarantees his retirement with a signature.
Friday, April 4
LiV Warfield raises the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater.
Thursday, April 3
Dave and Intern Todd enjoy racing fun at the Grand Prix.
Wednesday, April 2
Bill Murray handles crowd control on 53rd Street.