Sign In to CBS
With Social Account
With Email
Don't have an account? Create one for FREE!
Sign Up
Search By Date
M T W Th F
Monday, December 3, 2012 Dave's Kennedy Center Honor brings down the Late Show marquee.
Show #3766
Led Zeppelin's Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, and John Paul Jones, John Krasinski, and Paloma Faith.
PLUS: Dave and the Kennedy Center Honors, and the Fiscal Cliff.

" . . . and now, belt buckle designer . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:

-"Christmas in New York City. The city is filled with the scent of pine and urine. By the way, that was an example of the kind of joke that got me the Kennedy Center Honor."

Dave spent a glorious weekend in Washington DC to receive the Kennedy Center Honor. And then he heard from CBS honcho Les Moonves that there would be something special waiting for Dave back at the theater when he returned. We take a look at the Late Show marquee out on Broadway. It now reads: "Late Show with Kennedy Center Honoree David Letterman." Unfortunately, the weight of the extra lettering on the marquee was too much for the supporting beams. The marquee crashed to the ground.
Back to Dave, he is afraid someone may have been under the marquee when it fell. Dave puts his finger to his ear to hear the latest on the reported victim. Dave shares, "I'm being told they're dead . . . but that's no reason to ruin our fun." I laughed at the "I'm being told they're dead," as I was expecting a brighter report.

And here are some other notable Kennedy Center Honorees from the past. We take a look.
ART CARD: Past Kennedy Center Honorees Over the Years"
ANNOUNCE: "1979. Ella Fitzgerald: achievement in jazz vocals.
2006. Steven Spielberg: achievement in film directing.
2011. Joe Theismann: achievement in prostate health."
We see a clip of Joe claiming, "My prostate was giving me fits!"
ART CARD: Past Kennedy Center Honorees Over the Years"

And are you worried about the impending fiscal cliff? Dave is worried about it like he is worried about Martians. He's not sure what it is, isn't sure quite how frightened he should be, and doesn't know what to make of it. All he knows is that we have to tighten our belts, and that goes for the government, too. We take a look at what the government is considering.
ART CARD: "Programs We Should Cut to Avoid the Fiscal Cliff"
ANNOUNCE: "The plan to make Mount Rushmore tell 'Yo Mama So Fat' jokes."
We see Mt. Rushmore's President George Washington telling his favorite "Yo Mama So Fat" joke.
GEORGE: "Yo mama so fat, when she gets on a scale it says, 'Hey! One at a time!' "
The others on the mount respond with a "hey-ohhh!"
ANNOUNCE: "This has been 'Programs We Should Cut to Avoid the Fiscal Cliff.' "

Dave was satisfied with the proceeding at the Kennedy Center Honors last night. But of course, nothing is ever perfect. Did you see what he saw on the CNN about the event? We take a look at what TIVO'd and brought to the show.
CNN BROADCASTER: "Some of America's most-beloved entertainers were honored by the Kennedy Center in Washington, D. C. over the weekend."
Cut to shots of protestors in DC.
CNN BROADCASTER: "Not everyone was pleased with the selections, however, as thousands turned out to protest the inclusion of David Letterman. The group was led by celebrity activists George Clooney and Daryl Hannah. Alex Freeman, CNN." We see George Clooney being led away in handcuffs. We see Daryl Hannah holding a sign, "Dave? Really?"
Dave seems more bothered by George Clooney's slight than Daryl Hannah. For those unfamiliar, Daryl Hannah was once somebody.

ACT 2:
Dave thanks all who made the great honor he received this weekend possible. He knows more than anyone that it is not an individual honor but something the many who have worked with him and for him over the years. Many have been here from the beginning, others are still working here today, and many of them are disgruntled. He then thanks Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Jimmy Kimmel, Ray Romano, and Stephen Colbert for their contribution over the weekend to make the event even more special.

Dave took great pleasure in seeing his son Harry talking to the President. Before the meeting, Dave did some coaching to help his son in conversation with the world's most powerful man. Dave reminded Harry of the many monuments he visited and that Harry has something in common with the President in that they both have a dog as a pet. There's something in common they can share. Dave and Harry and Regina enter to visit the President. President Obama ribs Dave in front of the family, much to Dave's chagrin but to the delight of those around. Harry tells the President about his pet dog Sully and what he did last week. Harry tells the President that Sully killed a deer. Dave immediately became concerned that his Sully killing a deer may be a federal offense. The President remarked, "What kind of dog do you have, a wolf?!

Dave had one suggestion to the White House decorator: more portraits of George Washington.

ACT 3:
(Pssst, before the show as I was running around, I accidentally bumped into Robert Plant. We both apologized, but it was more my fault than his. I was moving, he was not. But he was in my way, dammit!)

Dave says it was great fun to spend time with the trio this weekend in DC as the band were also honored at the Kennedy Center, joining bluesman Buddy Guy, prima ballerina Natalia Makarova, and Dustin Hoffman. Robert Plant says it was loose and fun and easy and relaxed, not stiff and cold like an event such as this would be in Britain.
Talked turned to Buddy Guy and Dave wonders if Led Zeppelin were big fans. Dave and Paul explain that American blues was "discovered" by the Brits back then and it was the Brits who brought the American blues back here for us to appreciate. Robert says they band once met Elvis in 1973 which was quite a thrill. What was that like? Robert says, "He had a lot of chicks." I thought he said "chins," which was also true at the time.
Dave brings up other bands in Britain at the time, marveling at all these bands around at the same time, like the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, the Kinks, the Who. Did they hang out together, share gigs, work together? John Paul innocently asks, "Were there other bands? I don't remember." He adds they if they did see each other, it was mostly in airports.
Dave says Jack Black at the Kennedy Center described the Led Zeppelin music being about sex, Vikings, and Vikings having sex. How close is that? How would they describe their music? John does a verbal beat and bang and says, "Just like that."

Dave holds up two photos of Led Zeppelin. The first was from Sunday night of their meeting President Obama. The second photo was from 1973 of the 4 band members standing in front of their private plane, "The Starship." Imagine have your own private plane at their age.

Dave says after spending a weekend with Led Zeppelin, he feels as if he should be a part of the band. John Paul, the only honest one, shakes his head and says, "Uhh, no. No it doesn't"

Going into the commercial break, we see Led Zeppelin in concert. I'll be asking for their new CD/DVD, "Celebration Day," for Christmas.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Catch tomorrow's Late Show with Dave's guests Matt Damon, Martin Freeman, and JD McPherson. We'll be back in a moment. Until then, ponder your misdeeds."

ACT 6:

You know him from "The Office." Is John a Led Zeppelin fan? He stands and rips open his shirt to reveal a Led Zeppelin T underneath. I think that's a "yes." He calls them the greatest Rock and Roll band in history. John tells a story of meeting Jimmy Page some years back when John was an intern at the Conan show. The interns were under strict orders not to talk to the guests. Somehow, John found himself in back of a circle of Jimmy Page and Chris Robinson and the band members. Jimmy joked about something and John let out a big "Har har har!" They all turned and stared at the uninvited newbie. John slinked off knowing he was not where he was supposed to be. But the best thing is he got a story out of it, and that's what life is all about.
John has written and stars in a new film, "Promised Land." It's a story of hard-working Americans who lead a simple life in a small town who are drawn into the controversial and little-understood world of fracking. Now that's a story that's has my interest. It also stars Matt Damon. I hear he's OK in the film. It opens everywhere on January 4th.

ACT 7:

From her new album, "Fall To Grace," Paloma Faith performed "Picking Up The Pieces." Any music with a string accompaniment works for me.

And that was our show for Monday, December 3, 2012.

I'm not interested in the Powerball winners who split half a billion dollars. I'm more interested in the family with birthdays on 5th, 6th, 16th, 22nd, 23rd & 29th who did not play.

Oh, boy, those New York Jets. In one of the worst football games of all time, the Jets defeated the Arizona Cardinals on Sunday by a score of 7-6. And if Jet fans didn't hate their team before the game, they sure did afterwards even though they won. The Jets had the ball near the end of the game at the Cardinals 5-yard line. Another touchdown would put them up by 8 points. The Jet running back broke through the line but fell to the turf on purpose to prevent himself from scoring. This enabled the Jets to take a knee the next three plays to run out the clock, never allowing the Cardinals to regain the ball. The Jets won by 1 point. They could have won by 8. The point spread was 5. OUCH!

For me, the worst game ever was a Monday night game between the Giants and the then St. Louis Cardinals on October 24, 1983. The game ended in a 20-20 tie. Each team had 3 turnovers, combined for 20 penalties and 17 punts. Of the 4 touchdowns, 2 were scored by the defense. The game took nearly 5 hours and the Cardinals kicker missed 3 field goals in overtime, including a 19-yarder that would have won the game. The Cards were favored by 2. And do you see why I don't gamble anymore? It was one of those games that was so bad you couldn't turn it off.

I watched the Giants/Redskins game from start to finish Monday night. I rarely have the time to do that anymore. I was a bit shocked to see how EVERYTHING is sponsored before the opening kickoff. The announcers can't even sneeze without it being "brought to you by . . . ."
And the replay rule will never change. The NFL loves the replay rule for one reason only: it gives them another opportunity to show a bevy of commercials. It's all about the money.
And will we ever get to see the snap on punts? The camera always seems to be showing us something we have no interest in.

It's their anniversary today! From Queensbury, New York, it's William and Betty Lehecka.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
Twitter: @WahooMike

Wahoo Gazette Archive

Monday, May 18
Hovering! with Tom Hanks
Saturday, May 16
Oprah and Dave indulge in a selfie.
Thursday, May 14
Tom Waits, Dave and what's-his-name.
Wednesday, May 13
Julia and Dave squeeze in one last hug.
Tuesday, May 12
Adam Sandler performs a musical ode to Dave.