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Wednesday, January 9, 2013 Dave and Josh Brolin: tough guys or touchy-feely?
Show #3786
Josh Brolin, Kathryn Bigelow, and Ray Wylie Hubbard.
PLUS: the duct-taped guy, and What's In The Deep Fryer Tonight?

" . . . . and now, long story short . . . . David Letterman!

••• Josh Brolin plugs Gangster Squad, and calmly plays along with Dave's line of questioning about his various arrests.
••• Kathryn Bigelow plugs Zero Dark Thirty, which she directed. It's the new movie about exterminating Osama.

ACT 1:

-"A New York City Italian restaurant is serving a spaghetti and lobster dish for $2000. It comes with a lobster bib that reads, ‘Schmuck.'"

You heard about the unruly passenger aboard an IcelandAir airline that had to be duct-taped to his seat. Well, bet you're wondering what he's up to now. Time for another installment of "What's the IcelandAir Passenger Duct-Taped to Today?"
ART CARD: What's the IcelandAir Passenger Duct-Taped to Today?"
ANNOUNCE: "A flag pole."
We see the guy taped to a flag pole. The flag is raised in spite of him. The National Anthem is played.
ANNOUNCE: "We'll see you next time on 'What's the IcelandAir Passenger Duct-Taped to Today?' "
Oh, yes, there definitely will be a next time.

Going into the commercial break, we see a billboard tease for the Pat Sajak show.
ANNOUNCE: "Coming up on ‘The Pat Sajak Show': Joan Van Ark, country superstar Conway Twitty, Michael Cross, Peter Ueberoth, and ‘Pat Gets A Physical.'"

ACT 2:
There was a guy in England who went to a KFC and instead of getting the good parts of the chicken to eat, found that he was about to bite into a chicken's kidney. Somehow a kidney was dropped into the deep fryer. That is the inspiration for tonight's "What's In The Deep Fryer?" We head on over to Rupert's "Hello Deli."
Dave met Rupert 21 years ago and Dave recalls how Rupert simply fell in love with the location of the Hello Deli. In all that time, has Rupert had any grease fires? Rupert reports, "No, not yet."
Ever cited by the Health Department?
Rupert: "Uh, yeah, a few times."
DAVE: "Why? Not enough napkins?"
Rupert: "Yeah, something like that."
Dave explains what we will be doing tonight. Rupert has dropped an item into his deep fryer and Dave and Paul will have to guess what it is.
DAVE: "How often do you change the oil in the deep fryer?"
Rupert: "About every two weeks."
DAVE: "You're kidding, right?"
Rupert explains that he changes the oil every two weeks but cleans it every week. I guess that's okay.
Time to play. With tongs, Rupert removes the item that has been deep frying. Dave immediately chimes, "A wallet!" Paul seems to think it is a pastry or a croissant, or maybe a brioche. Oh, I forgot. Tonight, Dave and Paul are playing for an iPod.
After some more discussion, Alan announces what the item is that was deep fried.
Alan: "Dave, the item in Rupert Jee's Hello Deli ‘Hello Deli Deep Fryer' tonight is . . . . a deck of cards!"
Sorry, no winners tonight. Good guess by Dave, though.

ACT 3:

Congratulations, Josh, you are the first celebrity to be arrested in the new year! What was the deal? Josh explains that he was pole vaulting down the street . . . . in a tutu. Whoa! You can't do that in Santa Monica! . . . . . . though I think it's legal here in the Village. Josh admits to being possibly a little out of hand but isn't sure it was worthy of a night of incarceration.
Here in New York the cops would have simply driven him home. He says he familiar to wake up to find a couple cops standing over him.
There is a lot of fisticuffs in Josh's new film, "Gangster Squad." Is he a fighter? Josh enjoys a good fight but hasn't been in one in years. He believes there would be a lot less violence in the world if there was more fist fighting. Probably right. Dave says he's been in three fights in his life and has a record of 0-3. Dave likes to think of himself as a tough guy but realizes he's not. That's the beauty of a good imagination.

"Gangster Squad" – opens this Friday.

ACT 4:

She's an Academy Award winning director ("The Hurt Locker") and now is the proud director of "Zero Dark Thirty" the drama to get Osama. The writing of the film was started six years ago about the failure to capture Osama in Tora Bora in 2001 but then events changed all that. Screenwriter Mark Boal went back and rewrote the script.
Dave asks about the film's title, "Zero Dark Thirty." What does it mean? Kathryn says it's a military term meaning 12:30 at night. Technically you would say "Oh Dark Thirty" but Zero Dark Thirty looks better on a poster.

Dave says he doesn't think he has ever seen a film better than "Zero Dark Thirty." Yowza! Makes me want to go out and spend money to see it now rather than wait for someone to lend me the DVD.
Dave says this film is as close to an actual eye-witness historical depiction of what took place. How accurate is it? Kathryn says it is as accurate as a movie can be accurate. It captures the essence of the 10-year long manhunt. The film has put 10 years into 2 hours and Kathryn says she has told the story as faithfully as she possibly could.

"Zero Dark Thirty" – opens nationwide this Friday. You'll find me in a seat at a theater. I doubt there's a man alive who would not want to have "Seal Team" on his resume. When I go see it, I'm going to try to pretend I was one of them.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: We see the freight elevator doors of the Ed Sullivan Theater Office building open. We find George Clarke!
GEORGE: "Tomorrow on the Late Show, Michael J. Fox, and Lena Dunham! I gotta go fix a leak."
George closes the freight elevator doors.

ACT 7:

From his most recent CD, "The Grifter's Hymnal," Ray Wylie Hubbard performed a very satisfying "Mother Blues." Gots to get me this CD.

OK, stop reading this right now, if you can, and click on the Late Show web for another song by Ray Wylie Hubbard, "Screw You, We're From Texas." You won't be sorry. How come I've never heard of this guy?

And that was our show for Wednesday, January 9, 2013.

Uhh, I wouldn't order the fries today at Rupert's.

I once went to The Pat Sajak Show. All I remember about it is he thanked his guests and said good night, then was told he had another minute.

When I heard the title of Josh's film, "Gangster Squad," I was hoping it was a spoof like Leslie Nielsen's "Police Squad."

Sad news for baseball . . . no players were voted into the Hall of Fame, though it's even sadder news for the hotels and restaurants in Cooperstown.

I'm betting the NFL wants nothing to do with a Green Bay Packer/Seattle Seahawks NFC championship game next week. They'll take either Green Bay or Seattle, but not both. Why? Because if those two face each other on January 20th, the NFL will have to relive that embarrassing and scandalous replacement referee game back in September between the two teams. The Seahawks won the game on the last play of the game due to a horrendous touchdown call by a confused ref.
To tell you the truth, I wouldn't mind revisiting that play in the end zone.
Touchdown or interception? The replacement ref called it a touchdown. The two refs involved gave each other a quick glance. The one ref went to raise his hands and swing them over his head to signal an interception/touchback. The other ref thought he was going to raise his hands for a touchdown and followed suit. This resulted in one ref calling it a touchdown, the other a touchback. (that's my theory, anyway) Bedlam ensued. And the NFL quickly agreed to terms with the striking officials.
Come to think of it, since the NFL doesn't want it . . . I want it! It'll be fun to watch the NFL having to explain how it was a right call. I wonder if that replacement ref wants a Green Bay/Seahawk game.

WHOA! I just googled "Police Squad" . . . . really? You mean to tell me there were only 6 episodes? A great show like "Police Squad" and they only made 6? And the show was canceled after four episodes in March of '82, the other two showed in the summer simply to fill up a half-hour. Jiminy!

"Is this a bust?"
"I'll say it is!"

Looking for entertainment? Check out the story about Douglas Kennedy and the nurses at the Northern Westchester Hospital. He's suing a couple nurses after being found not guilty of being stupid. He tried to take his newly-born baby out of the hospital without authorization. Kennedy should have slinked away and been happy with the results of the trial, but now he's bringing it back up just in case anybody wasn't aware how stupid and entitled he feels he is. I'm surprised this didn't get more play around the country. Dope.

Wahoo Mailbag:
From Jim Kohler:
"While reading today's Wahoo, I became briefly confused until I realized what you had done. Halfway through your recap of the Brian Williams segment, you began calling him Bill, then switched back to Brian. Was there someone named Bill in there as well? I was a little sleepy while watching the show last night, so I just wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything. Thanks!"

Wahoo reader Keith A. Kauffman, out of the Lancaster area of Pennsylvania, also read the Wahoo and therefore saw the "Bill" errors

Oops, it was a rare mistake on my part. I remember catching one "Bill" while writing the Wahoo but I forgot to look for more. I think I had "Williams" on my mind and coupled with the "B" in Brian made me think of "Bill," your Honor.

A request from a Wahoo reader, Mark Lloyd Smith
"I am often curious about the 'intro music' that a particular guest walks in to.
For example: Brian Williams is consistently played in with a Terence Trent D'Arby hit of the 80s "Wishing Well. There HAS to be a story behind that?"

Good question. I spent a few minutes on this and somewhere deep in the back of my mind I seem to recall Paul singing to the tune of "Wishing Well" during the "doo doo doo, doo-doo doo" part: "NBC/Nightly News/ NBC Nightly News" and again later during the "Wishing Well" part: NBC Nightly News, Nightly News, Nightly News " Don't know how true this is, but it's what I remember. I'll look into this and come up with an answer tomorrow. Meanwhile, make your own guesses.

It's her birthday today, Happy Birthday, Betty Lehecka
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A Wahoo READER

Michael Z. McIntee
Twitter: @WahooMike

Wahoo Gazette Archive

Monday, May 18
Hovering! with Tom Hanks
Saturday, May 16
Oprah and Dave indulge in a selfie.
Thursday, May 14
Tom Waits, Dave and what's-his-name.
Wednesday, May 13
Julia and Dave squeeze in one last hug.
Tuesday, May 12
Adam Sandler performs a musical ode to Dave.