CBS

Search By Date
M T W Th F
Tuesday, January 29, 2013 Dave's Origami frog -- nice, but it's no crab.
Show #3795 Sylvester Stallone and Former Vice President of the United States, Al Gore.
PLUS: Preview to a Super Bowl Commercial; Cool/Not Cool; John Kerry Confirmation Hearing Highlights; Linda at the County Fair; a Top Ten list; and Origami Challenge

" . . . . and now, circus stiltwalker . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE
- "Manti Teo is now so famous he says he would like to date an imaginary Kardashian."

Several advertisers are releasing previews of their Super Bowl commercials. One commercial that's getting a lot of attention is for Diet Coke. We watch the DC preview.
We see a woman and friends on a hillside watching a gardener mowing the lawn. She rolls a full can of Diet Coke down the hills toward the mower. The can is rolling right towards the lawnmower. Cut back to those watching on the hill. We hear the mower drive over the can. Crunching and lacerations and tearing the can to shreds. Freeze on the gang.
PSA ANNOUNCE: "Every year, more than 2,000 people are injured by flying debris propelled by lawnmower blades. Please mow responsibly. A safety reminder from Diet Coke and OSHA."

And now it's time for "Cool/Not Cool."
We see President Obama meeting with the NBA Champion Miami Heat. He's very comfortable. "COOL"
We cut to President Bush 43 with the NBA Champion . . . L.A. Lakers? He tries to bounce a deflated basketball. "NOT COOL"
Whenever I see that clip, I wonder about the guy who was responsible to have the basketball filled. Guy probably couldn't find the needle. But couldn't Bush feel that the ball wasn't inflated? Guess he's just a baseball guy.

Today the United States Senate confirmed John Kerry to become the next Secretary of State. And if you saw his confirmation hearing last week, you can understand why. We take a look.
GRAPHIC: "John Kerry Confirmation Highlights"
We see John Kerry at the hearings. His smooth delivery of plentiful "uhhhhs" convinced the Senate. We cut to Senator Bob Menendez (D-NJ) slamming his gavel: "And with that, with the thanks of the committee, this hearing is adjourned."

And to finish up, Linda, how long will the goats be at the fair?
We cut to a news reporter reporting from a local county fair: "The goats will be here through Saturday, and they're very friendly! From the Manatee County Fair, Linda Carson, ABC 7"
The goat then butts Linda to the ground. She groans and laughs.
I expect to see this again over the weeks.

ACT 2:
TOP TEN: We see the Top Ten opening animation. Dave is then interrupted by a siren and flashing lights to commence the "Origami Challenge."
ALAN ANNOUNCE: "Dave, that siren tells us it's time for tonight's 'Origami Challenge.' "
Dave is confused. He has no knowledge of the Origami Challenge.
ALAN ANNOUNCE: "Dave, you'll get one sheet of origami paper, and 30 seconds to create tonight's challenge project!" Pat Farmer puts a piece of origami paper on Dave's desk and scoots.
ALAN ANNOUNCE: "Tonight's challenge project: a crab! Get going, Dave. You have 30 seconds!"
Paul and the band play the Sabre Dance to add to the excitement. A clock counts down from 30 seconds. Dave quickly starts on making the crab. He's is working really really hard and we can see from a close up that he is making progress. At the end of the 30 seconds, Dave has completed the challenge. He holds up his Origami. It's a frog.
ALAN ANNOUNCE: "Oh, I'm sorry, Dave. No! The challenge project was a crab, not a frog! You did not win the jet ski.
Good try, Dave. We'll see you next time on 'Origami Challenge.'"

TOP TEN: SIGNS YOUR DOCTOR HAS GOTTEN RUSTY
There is some sniping going on that Dr. Oz is losing touch with the day-to-day medical practice due to spending too much time on his media empire.
10. Tries to guess your weight.
6. Wonders aloud, 'What would Dr. Conrad Murray do."
2. To every question, he replies "Let's Google it."

My submission: SIGNS YOUR DOCTOR HAS GOTTEN RUSTY
"Thinks Lady Sybil is just going through simple childbirth."

ACT 3:
SYLVESTER STALLONE
His films have earned over 4 billion dollars! Paul plays him on with music from Sly Stone.
His new film is entitled, "Bullet To The Head." Dave wonders if there was ever any thought to changing the title of the film. Sly suggested "Sly and the Big Hawaiian" even though the film has nothing to do with Hawaii.
Dave asks about Sly's early career. He was attending a People's Choice Awards, probably for "Rocky." Sly was brand new to this and didn't own a tuxedo so he had to rent one from a place called something like "Sam's Tuxedos." It's a kind of place that the tuxedos were still wet with sweat from the night before. He got the powder blue one with the frilly shirt. That night he bumped into Telly Savalas and John Wayne. Sylvester felt very out of place. John Wayne introduced himself. Sylvester never forgot that. Now years later Sylvester makes a point of introducing himself to the newbies on the block. And they advised Sly that they wanted on pictures taken. There was no awe. Physically, Sylvester is beginning to feel his limitations. He's still saying yes to everything, but his body screams no. We see some photos of his recent injuries from movie shoots. And then we see a photo of Sylvester and Arnold Schwarzenegger sharing a hospital room in beds awaiting surgery. Dave captions the photo: "Which one gets the brain?"

"Bullet To The Head" - opens this Friday February 1st

ACT 4:
FORMER VICE PRESIDENT AL GORE
Dave asks the former VP where the United States and the government now stand. And what about the campaign? Gore says it was odd and strange. The candidates received billions of dollars in anonymous donations and corporations were treated like individuals. That is not a good sign. Too much is hidden and unknown. And then we have the calamity of Hurricane Sandy and drought throughout much of the country and nothing was said about it in any of the debates. This past year has accumulated over $100 billion in climate-related disasters.
Dave believes that we far along into climate change for us to do anything about it. The harm we've done cannot be reversed. We no longer able to do anything and are now preparing for how to adapt to the inevitable. Gore isn't as pessimistic as Dave. He assures us that our supply of oxygen is not in jeopardy. Phew!

Dave asks about Al's network "Current TV" he sold to Al Jazeera. The idea behind the news network was to provide an independent voice for news and information. The network received every single award in television journalism and is very proud of what they accomplished. He soon learned that it is very tough to compete with huge conglomerates in the news business. It was time to make a movie and feels Al Jazeera is a high quality and highly respected network. But why do we see Al Jazeera as a propaganda tool for the other side. Gore says it is not, that it has been misinterpreted and is highly respected throughout the world. He points out their climate coverage is more extensive than anything you would find on television today.
Conversation turns to domestic politics and Dave says the Republican Party has lost sight of what America is and this will come back and bite the party right in the ass over and over again. Al Gore heartily agrees.

What's the deal with fracking? We can get a lot of energy through fracking but the risk to great danger is on razor edge. Fracking could poison our drinking water. For those unfamiliar, drinking water is pretty important but that doesn't seem so important when cheap energy is available. Let 'em drink soda.

Al Gore's new book is in stores today: "The Future: Six Drivers of Global Change."

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Join us tomorrow as Dave welcomes Jason Bateman, Alison Brie, and Shovel & Rope. And now, it's time for Did You Know?' The last time we used the 'Did You Know' graphic was September 19, 2012. Now you know!"

And that was our show for Tuesday January 29, 2013.


I remember going to see the Sylvester Stallone film, "First Blood" at the drive-in. It's was the first Rambo movie before Rambo got to be so huge. Turned out "First Blood," the 2nd feature at the drive-in that night was so much better than the feature film, a film that is now long forgotten. I loved "First Blood." Yes, it was a simple story with a lot of unbelievable make-believe, but I bought into it. And Brian Dennehy was great!

In yesterday's Wahoo . . . . . It was supposed to be in todays: We're all familiar with the statue of Sylvester Stallone as "Rocky" on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. When I was in Tennessee, I was surprised to see a statue of Al Gore on the steps of Tennessee capital building in Nashville. But I was wrong. Turned out to be actually Al Gore. Hey-Ohhh! I can't say that! He's a guest!

Hey, did you see what CBS is broadcasting this Saturday, the night before the Super Bowl? It's the "2nd Annual NFL Honors." What a great idea! The "2ND Annual NFL Honors" is a two-hour primetime awards show from New Orleans, a show to salute the Top NFL players and performances from the 2012 season. Alec Baldwin will serve as host of the star-studded football and entertainment event.
Gee, where did the NFL and CBS ever get this idea? The program will be like a variety show with lots of awards presented covering the recent football season. Some of the awards to be presented are:
the prestigious Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year Award, which recognizes a player's off-the-field COMMUNITY service as well as his playing excellence.
Most Valuable Player and
Coach of the Year
Offensive Player of the Year
Offensive Rookie of the Year
And on and on.

This will be the 2nd Annual NFL Honors show. I'm glad they finally got around to it. I've been harping about this very thing since at least 2005. Go ahead and check the Wahoo archives from the week of February 1, 2005. It's all right there. It'll only take you about 96 clicks on the Archive calendar . . . . for each date searched. The show is exactly what I suggested nearly 10 years ago. Damn. I'm going to start coming to work with a tie on so maybe people will start listening to me.

I've long supported the idea of holding the Super Bowl on Saturday but have since changed that idea. I now support moving Presidents Day to the first Monday in February and putting the Super Bowl on the Sunday the night before. Presidents Day used to be a holiday for Lincoln's birthday, the 12th, and Washington's, the 22nd. Now that the holiday is for ALL Presidents we can put it anywhere we want. I suggest the day after the Super Bowl. This will probably be done in 10 years.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It's his birthday on the 30th, future teacher of America from SUNY Cortland, it's Michael Spitz
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

Tonight's Guests

Kristen Wiig
Sen. Elizabeth Warren
The New Pornographers

Wahoo Gazette Archive

Saturday, August 30
Serena Williams takes out Rupert Jee's deli window.
Friday, August 29
Consider mailing water to relatives in drought regions.
Wednesday, August 27
Time for a Grape Break!
Tuesday, August 26
Is this the "Late Show" or "Jailhouse Rock"?
Monday, August 25
Flying dogs take over 53rd Street for the Purina Pro Plan Incredible Dog Challenge.