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Monday, February 4, 2013 New Jersey Governor Chris Christie provides the snacks during his interview with Dave.
Show #3799
Joe Flacco, Governor Chris Christie, and Cody Ray Slaughter.
PLUS: Mayor Bloomberg's enthusiasm; and Super Bowl Commercial Recap.

" . . . and now, excitable carnival barker . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE:

-"The power outage at the Super Bowl last 34 minutes. Here's what I don't understand . . . Super Bowl . . . Super Dome . . . why didn't anyone think of calling the super?"
During the preshow Q&A, an audience member asked Dave what it was like to interview Andy Kaufman. It makes you wonder how long that question has been burning inside him.

This year's Super Bowl took place in New Orleans. Next year on February 2nd, it comes to the balmy New York metropolitan area. Somebody's gotta be gettin' sumptin' for making that decision. Everybody here is pretending to be real excited, including New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg. We take a look at "Mayor Bloomberg: Super Bowl Enthusiast" as he expresses his delight in the big game coming here.
BLOOMBERG: "As everyone knows New York is the Big Apple, and 12 months from now it will be the Big Pigskin, as well."
Hey-Oh!
Two things . . . if the Mayor came up with that "joke" on his own, then I can forgive him. If someone wrote it for him, that means the writer thought it was good AND the Mayor had to agree. TWO people gave it a go-ahead. I can always understand one person making a poor judgment. It's when someone has to agree with the bad judgment that makes me wonder.
And speaking of the Super Bowl, what did you think of the commercials? We put together this yearly piece entitled, "Super Bowl Commercial Recap." We watch what this year's Super Bowl commercials presented:

ANNOUNCE: "Dumb guy, hot chick, dumb guy, dumb guy, hot chick, dumb guy, talking baby, talking squirrel, dumb guy, hot chick, dumb guy and hot chick, dumb guy, naked old people, dumb guy, goat, hot chick, robot hot chick, guy everyone's tired of, dumb guy, hot chick, dear God, make it stop!"

Hey, wait! You mean we didn't include a clip of Dave's commercial and "Dumb guy" announce? Damn. Missed opportunity.

ACT 2:
JOE FLACCO

Super Bowl MVP Joe Flacco! Congratulations to Joe and the Baltimore Ravens for their big win yesterday in Super Bowl 47. And congratulations to Joe and his family for the announcement of a new Flacco on the way.
Joe's contract is up this year. Negotiations were going on throughout the year and Joe wasn't getting the offer he had hoped for. And now, well, Joe's got a good card in his hand. He hopes to be a Baltimore Raven for life. This is Joe's 5th year in the organization and the first round pick was the starting QB from Game 1. He was forced into the starting role in the preseason when the two ahead of him came down with injuries. And Joe's been there ever since. Dave asks about the lead up to the Big Game. Was he ever distracted by the news coverage of Ray Lewis using deer antler spray for something and the Harbaugh Super Bowl hype? Joe says he was too focused to be bothered by such nonsense and was barely aware of it. How did he and the team handle the 34-minute blackout? Joe says he knew it was odd, and kind of funny, and some on the team had a good time with it. But when they game resumed, the dominating Ravens were no longer dominating. Dave suspects some hanky-panky by the NFL. Joe laughs and says Dave must have been talking to his father. Joe's dad tends to entertain conspiracy theories and this was one of them.
Joe's favorite memory of the Super Bowl? Joe says it was the 49ers 4th down 4th quarter incompletion that pretty much cemented the victory for the Ravens. Dave asks about the job of a quarterback in the NFL. Is it just throwing to the guy who is open? Joe says it can be that simple when you break it all down. I think what makes the job of quarterback so hard is you don't throw to the guy who is open NOW; you have to throw to the guy who will be open in 2 or 3 seconds, when the ball gets there.

Joe Flacco . . . he's now one of them! One of the very few Super Bowl winning quarterbacks. It changes your life forever. Congratulations, Jersey Joe!

ACT 3:
GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE

He's a good sport coming here after all the jokes we made about him, but Dave likes nothing better than a guy who can take a punch and keeps on going. The Governor is that guy.
Dave opens: "How do you feel about me?" Governor Christie expresses his utmost love for Dave. He didn't have to say that. Dave can't vote in New Jersey. The Governor then reaches into his pocket and takes out a doughnut. He eats. Says the Governor, "I didn't know this was going to last this long." Dave asks if weight is a family think, genetically inclined to being heavy. The Governor is quick to point out, "Oh, no, I'M the guy!" How's his cholesterol? Fine. Blood sugar? Also fine.
Says Christie: "I'm the healthiest fat guy you've ever seen in your life."
Does Christie get angry at jokes aimed at his weight? The Governor says if the jokes are funny, he is fine with it. What he doesn't really appreciate are the jokes that aren't funny.
Does the Governor find Dave's jokes about his weight funny? The Governor says he finds about 40% to be funny. Christie is just back from New Orleans for the Super Bowl and will soon be back on his diet. When in New Orleans, your diet takes a holiday.

Christie was at the Super Bowl this weekend and sat with Mom and Dad Harbaugh. How were they during the Super Bowl? It has to be hard to have two sons on opposite teams gunning for the Super Bowl. It's probably great leading up to it, but the game itself must be very uncomfortable. Christie says they sat very quietly during the game; no clapping, no cheering. He says they looked in physical pain. Wonderful people, but they were clearly in misery.

The folks in New York and New Jersey are still suffering the effects of Superstorm/Hurricane Sandy from October. Thousands are still left homeless. Thousands of local businesses have not yet returned. That's why it was so frustrating, disappointing, and anger-producing when the federal government dragged their feet in getting aid to those in need. Following Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, federal money was on its way within 10 days. Here in New York and New Jersey the wait was 90 days. Christie was assured that the funding would not be delayed. When it was put off and put off, no one would return Christie's phone calls.

Dave wonders what has happened to our political system. Why can't things get done? Why did it take so long for the funding to be approved to battle the devastation? The Governor says the problem is the Parties don't talk to each other. The atmosphere is not the way it should. Dave feels both the Republican Party and the Democratic Party have lost sight of the heartbeat of their constituents. Many Republicans were angry with Christie with the way he credited and thanked President Obama with his response to Sandy. The politicians may have been angry, but the people approved! It was good to see a Dem and a Repub working together. Somehow the politicians have forgotten what they are here for. They are more concerned about the politics than with actually helping. Although the storm his months ago, the relief effort still goes on. Christie's wife started a relief fund that has raised $32 million so far. You can find it at: www.sandynjrelieffund.org

Governor Chris Christie – the people love him. He's easy to root for. Will he be running for President in 2016? He ain't saying, but if he does run I think it'll be closer to a walk.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "The Hurricane Sandy New Jersey Relief Fund is assisting New Jersey residents affected by last autumn's storm. You can help. Visit www.sandynjrelieffund.org and make a donation. Thank you."

ACT 7:
CODY RAY SLAUGHTER

Kicking off Elvis Presley Tribute Artist Week, Cody Ray Slaughter performs "Jailhouse Rock." Cody Ray is currently in the national tour of the hit musical, "Million Dollar Quartet." Cody is Elvis.

And that was our show for Monday, February 4, 2013.

Elvis Week . . . . I am really going to enjoy this. Can't help it. I likes me the Elvis.

Joe Flacco is a New Jersey guy! He's from Audubon High down by the elbow of New Jersey just across from Philadelphia. And then he attended the hotbed of college football, the University of Delaware Fightin' Blue Hens. How odd was it that the 2 QB's in the Super Bowl were from the University of Delaware and the University of Nevada?

I have a friend . . female . . . who knows more about football than anyone I know. Long time season ticket holder for the New York Giants. She had a daughter who went to the University of Delaware when Joe Flacco was there. She would often go to the football games with her daughter. She would watch the QB and be amazed at how good he was. The only college QB I saw who made it to the NFL was Dartmouth's Jay Fiedler back in the early 90s. He always looked real good against the Columbia Lions, but then you can say that about any Ivy League quarterback at the time.

The last second safety . . . I called it before it happened. What I immediately thought about was the football pools all across America. The 4-9 winning box suddenly flipped to the 4-1 winning box. Oh, the humanity! I laughed and laughed at all the screaming and yelling across America at that moment. Millions of dollars flipped on that one play.

I had a friend who lost winning a football Super Bowl pool some years ago. The game was already decided but on the last play of the game was an interception that was run back for a touchdown, or something like that. Whatever it was, it was the last play of the game and it didn't matter at all in the final outcome. The winning team was already decided, but the score changed on that last play. My friend sitting at the bar had $20,000 in his hand . . . and then snatched away. How awful. And who won that $20,000? The bartender. There they were; one in tremendous agony, the other in joyous celebration. My friend, with his head buried in his hands, ordered up another Coors light from the elated bartender. And then, the part of the story I take great delight in telling again and again, the bartender charged him! Can you imagine?! The bartender CHARGED my friend for his Coors Light. That final play cost my friend $20,003! Of course, the right thing to do would be to give my pal a drink on the house . . . and free drinks the rest of his life whenever that bartender was working. It would probably take a year-and-a-half for my friend to break even on the deal. Terribly sad, but a story he can tell for life.

Best play of the Super Bowl: the Ravens giving up the safety at the end of the game. The punter was told to run around the end zone for as long as he could to run off time on the clock. OK, that's the play, BUT the offensive line was told to hold the 49ers on purpose to keep them from getting to the punter. The longer they held, the longer it would take for the defense to get to the punter, the more time off the clock. What's the penalty for holding with a QB or a punter in the end zone? A safety; a safety they were giving up anyway. Great strategy.

Worst play of the game: the decision by Jim Nantz to wear that tie. Who decided on THAT tie for the Super Bowl to be watched by over 100 million people? Hold on while I Google to see if anyone else was bothered by Jim Nantz's tie. Jim Norton twitter: " If I had to choose between Jim Nantz's tie and a colostomy bag, I'd choose the tie, but it would be close."

Here's something very odd . . . the 49ers are blaming their loss on Tim Tebow.

Two weeks to prepare for the big game and the 49ers open with an illegal formation penalty on the very first play? They've been going over this play for at least a week. The penalty called back a 20-yard gain. They then went 3-and-out and the Ravens then scored a touchdown on their opening drive. Oops. Why does Shannon Sharpe part his hair?

Of course, the best thing about the Super Bowl is it means pitchers and catchers in 3 weeks.

A politician's loyalty, in order:
1. Self – to be re-elected.
2. Party
3. Constituents

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From South Portland, Maine, it's Mary Page. Rest in Peace.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

Wahoo Gazette Archive

Wednesday, December 17
Willie Nelson gets a bad batch of brownies.
Tuesday, December 16
Dave presents a furry gift to Charli XCX.
Monday, December 15
Emma Stone and Dave go nuts with the selfies.
Saturday, December 13
Jamie Foxx and Dave partying together? That'd be dope.
Thursday, December 11
Meryl & Susan tout their Academy of Dramatic Arts.