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Thursday, February 7, 2013 Which comes to mind first: "Gidget" or "The Flying Nun"?
Show #3802
Sally Field, John Harbaugh, Shawn Klush.
PLUS: An NFL Announcement; an Announcement from the U.S. Postal Service; the Iranian Space Program; a Message from H&R Block; and a Top Ten List.

". . . and now, demanding fashionista . . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE:
- "It's Fashion Week here in New York City. The Republican Party has a new clothing line. Problem is it keeps coming apart at the seams."

People are still talking about the Super Bowl power outage. The NFL has released a statement they hope will put the matter to rest.
ANNOUNCE: "The NFL regrets the power failure during Super Bowl XLVII. We're testing all the equipment to ensure that this sort of interruption will not . . . . ." The screen turns to static; audio off. Oops. Looks like the NFL is still having problems.

The United States Postal Service is in financial trouble. To save money, they've decided to stop their Saturday mail delivery. They made this announcement.
ANNOUNCE: "This is an important message from the United States Postal Service. Beginning in August, Saturday mail delivery will be discontinued, saving over $2 billion annually. Also, effective immediately, we will no longer be delivering hate mail to the 'Late Show with David Letterman,' saving over $3 billion annually."
A dump truck drops thousands of letters in front of the Late Show marquee out on Broadway. Take a good look. It's the last time you will see this. We will only be accepting complaints via the e-mail. Twitter will do, too!
ANNOUNCE: "The United States Postal Service . . . we deliver for you."

The NFLi s back to finish their announcement.
ANNOUNCE: " . . . . occur again. We're confident that our electrical problems are behind us. A message from the NF . . . . . . . . . . (static) . . . . L."

Have you heard about the Iranian space program? They recently fired a monkey into space. They are extremely proud. Their space program is a bit . . . . odd. We take a look.
We see a camel in the desert.
We hear an Iranian countdown, in English, but with an Iranian accent.
ANNOUNCE: "T minus five, four, three, two, one."
From the camel's hump is fired a missile.
ANNOUNCE: "We've cleared the hump. We have liftoff."
Cheering Iranians.

ACT 2:
Big show tonight. We have an Academy Award nominee, we have the coach of the Super Bowl champions, and Elvis Tribute Artist Week continues. If you're watching something else, turn to CBS now. And if you have friends who aren't watching, you may begin mocking them now.

Wow! It's getting close to tax time already, but really, isn't every day Tax Time in New York? H&R Block has been running a lot of commercials showcasing their tax professionals but Dave saw an odd one earlier today. We take a look.
We see the familiar black and white H&R Block commercials that have hit the airwaves.
Accountant one: "I'm a tax professional. That's all I know."
Jowly accountant two: "Prior to joining H&R Block, I was a CFO for 25 years."
Accountant three:"I'll go through your receipts. I'll go through your deductions. Just don't touch my desk."

Who is this guy?
- He was born in Tupelo, Mississippi.
- Appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show three times.
- Inducted into the United States Army and served from 1958-1960
- Has sold more than one billion records and albums.
- Even though he hasn't worked since 1977, he earned $60 million last year.
- His last concert as at the Market Square Arena in Indianapolis - June of '77. He died in August.
- He is the best-selling solo artist in the history of popular music.
If you guessed Peter Lemongello you would be wrong. The correct answer: Elvis Presley.

TOP TEN
Tonight's Top Ten is sponsored.

Alan Kalter announce: "Tonight's Top Ten is brought to you by Boeing 787 Dreamliner batteries. Dreamliner... the only way to fly. Back to you, Duckface."
THINGS OVERHEARD AT THE HOME OF THE COUPLEWHO HAVED BEEN MARRIED 80 YEARS
A Connecticut couple has been recognized as the longest-married couple in America. John and Ann Betar were married on Nov. 25, 1932, over 80 years ago. Their secret: compromise and don't hold a grudge.

TOP TEN THINGS OVERHEARD AT THE HOME OF THE COUPLEWHO HAVED BEEN MARRIED 80 YEARS
10. "Don't you think it's time we consummate this thing."
9. "I've been thinking about something you said 75 years ago."
5. "Let's not divorce until the great-grandkids leave for college"

My submittal: "It feels like 100"

ACT 3:
SALLY FIELD
The last time Sally was here was in September of 2000. All I remember about that is her doing some spin-art. We had to find her an apron. Why has it been so long since she's been here last? Sally says it's not her fault.
Sally is Academy Award nominated for Outstanding Actress in a Supporting Role as her role as Mary Todd Lincoln in the film, "Lincoln." Sally says she always wanted to play the part of Mary Todd. Why was that? Sally says Mary was very complicated and short. She says she had the "short" part down pat. Mary Todd was a big influence in getting Abe to the highest level in America. Most honest men would admit that in their own life, as well. No, not being positively influenced by Mary Todd . . . . by their wives. Sally describes Mary Todd as very high-strung, ambitious, smart, and lived through a lot of tragedy. She lost one child early in her life, and another while in the White House. She didn't handle that kind of grief well. But who could?
Sally was aware of the Spielberg "Lincoln" film as far back as 2005. Screenwriters came and went, backing came and went, momentum came and went. She realizes the casting would be in question. She is 10 years older than Daniel Day-Lewis who played Lincoln but Mary Todd was 10 years younger than Lincoln. Spielberg admitted to her that he didn't quite see this happening of Sally as Mary Todd. She kindly told him, "Well, you're wrong." Sounds like something Mary Todd would say.
What was the deal with Abe's stovepipe hat? Sally says it was as simple as "He liked it." Plus, he kept things in it, like old apple cores. It was a filing cabinet of sorts. Dave offers that many have heard of how Abe would walk miles and miles each day to and from school. What we never hear is that he was always late. Dave admits to waiting for years to use that joke.
"Lincoln " - it's in theaters now and is nominated for a whole bunch of Academy Awards.

ACT 4:
JOHN HARBAUGH
Head coach of the Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens. His brother Jim coached the losing team, the San Francisco 49ers. I once heard the best feeling in the world is being the winning manager of a World Series team. The second best is being the losing manager. I'm not sure how true that is but in football, the losing Super Bowl coach is probably envied by every other coach in the league but one. Heck, envied by every coach in America . . . . except maybe Nick Saban. (Old man I man ----Nick Saban is the head coach of the NCAA champion Alabama Crimson Tide. I originally put in Lou Saban instead of Nick Saban. Lou Saban was the head coach of the Buffalo Bills in the 60s and then again in the 70s.) John and Jim come from a football family. Dad made his living as a football coach and the boys were always around the game. Over the years he worked with a dozen or so teams. His big time was with the University of Michigan in the 70s and as the head coach with the Division 1-AA national champion Western Kentucky in 2002. But of course as usual with football coaches, it was mom who raised the kids.
We see a clip of John at the Super Bowl. He isn't all that pleased about something following the blackout. John is seen screaming at an NFL management guy in a suit. What was the problem? John says he was just asking for restaurant recommendations. I figure it had to do with the 49ers not having communication with their headsets to their coaches upstairs. When that happens, the other team has to forfeit their headsets and their ability to communicate. But this was the Super Bowl! John wanted it fixed before the game was restarted. Or at least given time to have his offensive and defensive coordinators come down to the sideline. That's my guess, anyway.
Has John talked to his brother since the game, offer consolation? No. John says there isn't really much a brother can say to his brother following what they went through. Besides, brothers don't console brothers. It is what it is. Both understand.
Who was your parents' favorite? John or Jim? John says the baby sister Joani was the favorite. And what team does Joani coach? John laughs then says that Joni is married to the basketball coach of Indiana Hoosiers, Thom Crean. Gee whiz, with all the Super bowl coverage for two weeks and I'm just learning this now? I guess you can pencil in Indiana to make the NCAA finals this year. It's a Harbaugh year.

Congratulations to John Harbaugh and the Baltimore Ravens, and to Jim as well. Nice guy, John Harbaugh. I must admit I was rooting for the 49ers. I'm still a bit sore with what the Ravens did to my Giants in the 2001 Super Bowl. And that wasn't defensive holding on Jesse Armstead, dammit!

ACT 5
ANNOUNCE: "Tomorrow night, treat yourself to Dave and his guests Pauley Perrette, comedian Jake Johannsen, and Elvis Presley Tribute Artist Week concludes with Ben Portsmouth. Can you guess the date of this 'classic' audience shot? Got it yet? May 11, 2012! Congratulations to everyone who guessed correctly."

ACT 7
SHAWN KLUSH
Shawn is the first ever "Ultimate Elvis Tribute Artist" as named by Elvis Presley Enterprises and in July, he will be recreating Elvis' historic Las Vegas Hilton performances during this year's "Las Vegas Elvis Fest." Tonight, Shawn performed a very satisfying "Suspicious Minds." I was smiling from start to finish.

And that was our show for Thursday February 7, 2013.

Elvis was on the Ed Sullivan Show three times. The first time neither Ed nor Elvis were in the theater. Ed was home recovering from an auto accident. The guest host was Charles Laughton. Elvis was in Hollywood filming his first film, "Love Me Tender." This was in September 1956. Elvis and Ed were together in the theater a month later in October. And Elvis was back again in January 1957. It was this last appearance when it was decided to shoot Elvis from the waist up. The gyrating pelvis was a no-no.
I imagine there must have been a staffer who received a phone call: "Have we ever had a gyrating pelvis on the show before?" And the staffer would then go into this filing cabinet and come up with answer a week later.

I asked some staffers: When you think of Sally Field, do you think of "Gidget" or "The Flying Nun." I was surprised Gidget got as many mentions as it did. I thought I was one of the few old enough to remember the Gidget. It was pretty evenly mixed, though I did get a "Smokey and the Bandit."

ELVIS FUN FACTS
- In his younger days, Elvis considered becoming an electrician, a truck driver, and a law enforcement officer.
- In the early '60s, Elvis adopted a chimpanzee named Scatter.
- His favorite toothpaste was Colgate.
- His favorite aftershave was Brut.
- His favorite soft drink was Pepsi.

I jokingly referenced Peter Lemongello above, but he is an interesting character.
He came out with an album in 1976 entitled, "Love '76." It was the first album to be sold exclusively through television advertising. Not sold in stores! And it worked! He appeared on the Tonight Show 25 times.
From the Wiki . . . . Lemongello's strategy is still studied in college marketing courses. He went straight to the public to sell his albums, bypassing the established marketing and music industry.

Time once again for "The Daily Joke From a Wahoo Reader." Tonight's installment is from Mark Lloyd Smith
"Fashion Week begins in NYC, although some of the glamour of it has worn off since several supermodels have confessed to wearing PEDS: Performance Enhancing Dresses."
This concludes another installment of "The Daily Joke From a Wahoo Reader

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It's his birthday tomorrow, from the 14th floor, it's Walter Kim
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READ

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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Bill Murray
Martha Stewart
Lady Gaga

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Wednesday, April 2
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