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Wednesday, February 13, 2013 Alan Kalter grabs the spotlight, but how about that Sergeant at Arms guy?
Show #3806
Former Staff Sergeant Clinton Romesha, AnnaSophia Robb, and Robert DeLong.
PLUS: a bipartisan feel at the State of the Union; where's Alan?; a Biden mishap; Dave performs minor surgery on his tie; and a Top Ten list.

" . . . and now, the ‘before' photo . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONLOGUE

-"I went out to lunch today and sitting across the restaurant was Clark Kent. Yes, THE Clark Kent. People started talking about the asteroid flying through space towards the earth and then Clark suddenly excused himself."

Hey, where's Alan? Where's Alan Kalter? Does anybody know wher . . .

. . . We hear the baritone bellow from the back of the theater:
Late Show Sergeant at Arms: "Ladies and gentlemen . . . . . . . Late Show Announcer . . . . Alan Kalter!"
Alan then enters and walks down the aisle towards the stage. Paul and the band and play "Hail to the Chief." Enroute, he stops to shake the hands of many well-wishers like the President at the State of the Union. Alan ambles across the stage and take his place as his perch. Very presidential is Alan.
DAVE: "Well, at least that went quicker than last year."

WOW! Fat face! I played the Sergeant at Arms. I watched my performance at home. Who was that with the fat face? That was me! Really?! I blame it on the tight neck-collar. It shoved all my excess neck flesh up into my face. Time to start visiting the new gym I joined and have yet to go.
I watched the President's State of the Union intro over and over to get the right cadence and energy in my introduction of Alan. I planned to match it as close as possible. That was my plan, anyway. When it came time to perform, I had forgotten all about it. My main concern was to be loud. I found in theater, if you're going to screw up at least be loud so everyone can hear it.

People say the tone of last night's State of the Union seemed more bipartisan than other Washington events of late. We take a look at what Dave is talking about. We watch a clip from last night's State of the Union. The President arrives at his station. He turns to his Veep Joe Biden and the Head of the House John Boehner. He hands them each a brown envelope. We cut to an overhead shot to see the men open their envelopes. Ahhh, they each received a Valentine's Day card. How sweet!
Yikes! That reminds me!!

During Dave's opening comments, he stopped to lean over to the side to find his nearby bottle of Jack Daniel. He reached, found, and then slugged it down. He did it again later. You see, he was sort of mocking what Marco Rubio did during the Republican rebuttal.

Joe Biden was having some eye problems and it was evident during last night's State of the Union. It's affecting his depth perception. We take a look.
We see the President speeching. He pauses just a moment, which is a cue for half the house to stand and applaud. When VP Biden goes to sit, he misses the chair and falls to the ground with a thud.

ACT 2:
Back from commercial, Dave gets us up to date on what happened during the pre-show Q&A. A woman in the audience wondered about Dave's varying tie lengths from night to night. Tonight's tie in the background is a bit longer than the tie in the foreground. That's not right! Dave takes some scissors to even out the tie. Snip snip snip.
Says Dave, "Normally, we'd rather have a rabbi present when we do this."

TOP TEN – with a sponsor tonight!
ALAN: "Tonight's Top Ten List is sponsored by Urine Soaked Carpet Barn! We salvage urine soaked carpeting from disabled cruise ships awash in sewage, as well as from other sources like schools and prisons! Pass the savings onto you! After a thorough cleaning, we sell it at prices you'll like. Most people can't tell the difference from new carpeting!
Urine Soaked Carpet Barn! We're in the Yellow Pages. Back to you, Jimmy!"

TOP TEN: THINGS GOING THROUGH MARCO RUBIO'S MIND AT THIS MOMENT – we take a look at Rubio taking a water break.
9. "Doctors say you should drink eight glasses of water every speech."
7. "Laugh all you want --- Poland Spring just paid me a million dollars."
6. "This would be a great closer for my ventriloquist act."
2. "Marco Rubio needs his throato lubio."

ACT 3:
FORMER STAFF SERGEANT CLINTON ROMESHA

He enters with a deserving standing ovation. On Monday, Clint Romesha received the Medal of Honor, the United States military most prestigious award. We see a clip of his son at the ceremony at the White House. His soon-to-be two-year-old acted exactly the way you would want a two-year-old to behave. Exploring! He was getting into everything, curious, wide-eyed, without fear. Unfortunately, we lose a lot of that as we age.

Romesha comes from a military family; two brothers are in the Army and Air Force, his father was in the Army and served in Vietnam, and his grandfather was in the Army during World War II, landing in Normandy two days after D-Day. Who was most influential in Clint's decision to continue the family tradition? Clint says his family was always there but cites his grandfather for teaching him the important life lessons:
-Let your actions speak for you
-Your actions will speak louder than anything you can say
-Honor the family name.
Stop the clock. Right there . . . . . read it again and live it.
-Let your actions speak for you.
-Your actions will speak louder than anything you can say.
-Honor the family name.

Dave has the former staff sergeant give a quick recap of his military background. He served from 1999-2011, starting in Fort Knox, Kentucky and moving on to German, Kosova, two tours in Iraq, and Afghanistan.
Dave and Clint go into detail of his tour at Combat Post Keating in Afghanistan. It is a remote location in eastern Afghanistan. They were fired upon on a near daily basis but on this one morning Clinton and the others immediately knew this one was different. They were outnumbered 400 to 50. And that was the enemy's mistake, only having 400. A 12-hour battle ensued. Romesha says time stood still but it also slipped away. It is hard to define the 12 hours. Their objective was to overcome the enemy and to retrieve the fallen. What kept them going? Former Staff Sergeant Clinton Romesha responded the way I would expect every great soldier to respond, "We just had to soldier-on." And how did he know the battle was finished, when it was safe to go back to a normal existence? Clint says, "Nine months later when we stepped on U.S. soil." We all wonder how we would react in such circumstances. We all hope we would react like Former Staff Sergeant Clinton Romesha.

Into commercial:

IN MEMORIAM
Staff Sgt. Vernon W. Martin – 26 – Savannah, Georgia
Staff Sgt. Justin T. Gallegos – 27 – Tucson, Arizona
Sgt. Joshua M. Hardt – 24 – Applegate, California.
Sgt. Joshua J. Kirk – 30 – South Portland, Maine
Sgt. Michael P. Scusa – 22 – Villas, New Jersey
Spc. Christopher T. Griffin – 24 – Kincheloe, Michigan
Spc. Stephen L. Mace – 21 – Lovettsville, Virginia
Pfc. Kevin C. Thomson – 22 – Reno, Nevada

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Join us again tomorrow as Dave welcomes Jerry Seinfeld, Dave Grohl, and Dave Grohl & The Sound City Players, with Stevie Nicks. Joining Forces is a national initiative to give our service members and their families the opportunities and support they've earned. Learn more and get involved at www.joiningforces.gov.
Thank you."

ACT 6:
ANNASOPHIA ROBB

She's just a kid! She's the Carrie in "The Carrie Diaries." She Carrie Bradshaw before Carrie Bradshaw. Uh oh, how did I know the Jessica Sarah Parker character in "Sex and The City" had the last name Bradshaw? AnnaSophia grew up in Denver and always wanted to be an actress. She got her first role 10 years ago in a McDonald's commercial. She promoted the Bratt dolls found in the Happy Meal. Dave is unfamiliar with Bratt dolls. Oh, to be a dad of a boy. Bratt dolls are the anti-Barbie. But that's a discussion for another day.
How does one get from Denver to TV? AnnaSophia says she bugged her mom that she wanted to be on TV. Her mom got AnnaSophia into acting classes in Denver, got her an agent, and then was discovered by L.A. managers. And it's just that easy! And now she's Carrie Bradshaw!
"The Carrie Diaries" – Mondays at 8:00 PM on the CW.

ACT 7:
ROBERT DELONG

From his CD, "Just Movement," Robert DeLong performed "Global Concepts."

And that was our show for Wednesday, February 13, 2013.

"I don't always drink water, but when I do I prefer Poland Spring. Stay hydrated, my friends." – Senator Marco Rubio.

Here's just a little of what's wrong with America. Marco Rubio's Republican Rebuttal Tuesday night . . . . it could have been the greatest rebuttal in the history of rebuttals, but all anyone will remember is his stopping to take a drink of water.

Not sure how long it's been since I've been this angry. The International Olympic Committee eliminated wrestling from the 2020 Olympics. Are they crazy? No other sport in the world embodies what it is to be an athlete. There's no equipment, no teammates to blame, no subjective scoring . . . it's man vs. man, nothing else. I've always said that there's wrestling, and then there's everything else. Every other sport is make-believe next to wrestling.
Wrestling is likely the oldest sport in existence. I mean, it's so old it has the word "Greco" in it. How stupid is the IOC? I'm not done with this. Golf? Golf is now an Olympic sport? The Olympics should be reserved as a sport's final destination. There can be nothing higher. Golf has the Masters. Basketball has the NBA. Swimming, track and field, wrestling . . . that's the Olympics!

My top ten movies of the past 33 years. My daughter asked me to list my top 10 movies of all time. She wanted to compare it to a list her Physics teacher made. I only had a minute to come up with a list as she was running out the door to school, so I quickly jotted down ten. Afterwards I realized the most recent movie on the list was from 1978. When my daughter showed the list to her teacher, he looked and had to ask, "How old is your father?"
He's right. The list is a bit dated. That got me to thinking of what my favorite movies are since 1980. First of all, I'm not sure if I've seen 10 movies in the past 30 years but I'll try to come up with a list by the end of the week. One of the films on his list was "Pulp Fiction." OK, I agree there. Nine to go. Pick one of those baseball movies, "The Natural," "Eight Men Out," or the "build it and they will come" movie. One of those can go on my list. I liked "Eight Men Out" mostly because the actors knew how to play baseball. They weren't Anthony Perkins as Jimmy Piersall in "Fear Strikes Out." That movie is famous for Perkins' inability to throw a baseball even though he was portraying a baseball player. Baseball fans cringed watching.
"Rudy" was good. I liked Rudy. Manipulated my emotions, sure, but I fell for it. One of my best? Maybe not. But it's one I'll consider. Some others:
Gandhi
My Left Foot
Waking Ned Devine
Forrest Gump
Crash
Inglorious Bastards

Almost forgot. There was a bit of a screw up on Monday in the Top Ten with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit models. We cleaned it up in editing but Bill O'Reilly sort of mentioned it later in the show. So, readers would like to know . . . . what happened?
While Dave counted down from 10 to 1, he accidentally skipped a number. This caused some confusion among the ladies, the cue cards, and the chyron operator who puts the words up on your TV screen. Later during O'Reilly, Dave mentioned a discrepancy in Spielberg's "Lincoln" movie and Bill admitted to a slight error of his own in his book, referring to Lincoln's Oval Office in the White House before there was Oval Office. Bill said in effect, "But nobody's perfect, which was apparent in your top ten tonight

And now it's time for "LATE SHOW The Day They Were Born"
AnnaSophia Robb: born December 8, 1993
What happened on LATE SHOW the day AnnaSophia Robb was born?

LATE SHOW December 8, 1993: repeat from September 28, 1993
September 28, 1993 (#22): Former President Jimmy Carter, promoting his book "Talking Peace," a Stand-Up from Brett Butler, and a Cooking Demo with Daniel Boulud. Also: Top Ten Complaints of the Biospherians

And that's what happened on LATE SHOW the day AnnaSophia Robb was born.

Thanks to Mr. Donz for the above. I was a few months away from joining the Late Show team.

Time once again for "The Daily Joke From a Wahoo Reader." Tonight's installment is from Mark Lloyd Smith
"College of Cardinals will meet this spring to select a new Pope, although historically no Pope has even been selected without winning Ohio."
This concludes another installment of "The Daily Joke From a Wahoo Reader

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

It's their 52nd wedding Anniversary, my mom and dad, Jean and Jack McIntee.

And that concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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