Michelle Williams, Chris O'Donnell, and Von Grey.
PLUS: Meteor Fragments for Sale; Horsemeat in Europe; Downton Abbey and the Asteroid; the President on the Phone; a Top Ten List; and It's Recycle Night!
" . . . and now, the architect of heliocentric theory . . . . . . David Letterman!"
- "Being the Pope is a weird job. What other job would you have a picture of your boss's son in your office?"
- "Pope Benedict is partially dead and blind, but he sure plays a mean pinball." Music sting from the band.
- "Michelle Obama says her short bangs are a midlife crisis. Coincidentally, short bangs were also part of Arnold Schwarzenegger's midlife crisis."
Collectors are eager to buy fragments of the Russian meteor, but of course, there are many fakes on the market. We put together a segment explaining what to look out for.
ART CARD: "METEOR FRAGMENT BUYERS GUIDE"
ANNOUNCE: (photo of actual meteor fragment)"Authentic meteor fragment: dense, stony composition with 10% iron content."
(photo of fake meteor fragment) "Counterfeit meteor fragment: squeaks."
We see a hand pick up the counterfeit meteor and squeeze it. It squeaks.
ANNOUNCE: "This has been the 'Meteor Fragment Buyers Guide,' a public service of the Jaycees."
This announcement from NASA. Not really an announcement at all . . . just a shot of Downton Abbey . . . . and then an asteroid/meteor crashing into it and exploding it to smithereens. Downton Abbey credits follow.
During the monologue, Dave calls for a photo of Jesus. Instead we get a photo of Dan Fogelberg.
Story behind that reference can be found below.
The European horsemeat scandal is widening. There was an early sign that not all beef was what it seemed. We take a look at this.
We see a cow in a pen. The cow approaches the edge, looking into the camera, and goes "neighhhhhhh!"
Happy News! Joe Grossman, the bouncy and animated Late Show writer, and his wife Caren are the proud parent of a baby girl. Their first child is named Hannah Sylvie and was born Sunday morning, February 17th at 5:12 AM, weighing in at 7 pounds, 1.6 ounces.
Play those numbers!
Kudos to our booking department! On the phone right now is the President of the United States Barack Obama. The media was shut out from reporting on the President's recent vacation and golf game with Tiger Woods. But not us! Dave picks up the phone.
PRESIDENT: "Hey, this is Barack."
DAVE: "Mr. President, thank you so much for joining us. Did you enjoy your weekend in Florida?"
PRESIDENT: "I feel good."
DAVE: "That's good. When you go on a little mini-break like this, why did you choose Florida?"
PRESIDENT: "Part of it is just the weather's nice all the time, so that kinda chills you out. And you spend a lot of time outside, and that makes you pretty healthy."
DAVE: "Uh huh. It's a good thing you didn't go on one of those Carnival cruises!"
The President laughs.
DAVE: "We know you love to play golf, and you played with Tiger Woods over the weekend. Why didn't you invite your buddy Joe Biden?"
PRESIDENT: "He's a jackass!"
DAVE: "Oh, I see. Well thank you very much, Mr. President. We really appreciate your time!"
PRESIDENT: "Thank you, Leon."
TOP TEN: THINGS GOING THROUGH THIS DRIVER'S MIND AT THIS MOMENT - The meteor that crashed into Russia was caught on one of those dashboard video cams. We take a look at the video.
THINGS GOING THROUGH THIS DRIVER'S MIND AT THIS MOMENT
9. "That is one hell of a floater."
7. "Do I have meteor insurance or asteroid insurance?"
6. "They've elected a new pope."
5. "Boeing Dreamliner!"
1. Hey, Mayans, close, but no cigar."
In honor of Dave, Michelle says she is wearing a double-breasted dress tonight. Michelle has been super busy promoting her new film "Oz The Great and Powerful." To keep things interesting and to keep from going batty answering the same questions over and over again, the film's crew has developed a game where the actors have to use a certain word when being interviewed. For instance, Michelle would have to somehow fit in the word "pumpernickel." Other words she's been forced to use: Astroglide" and "Bigfoot." My guess is tonight she was forced to say "double-breasted."
Dave asks about her start in show business. Did she act in the high school plays? Michelle tells Dave she didn't go to high school. What?! Yes, she wanted to be an actor and left for California at the age of 15. It is hinted she said that just to get out of frigid Montana. So, Michelle never went to high school. She has a 7-year-old daughter and she is considering going to college with her.
How did it go in California? She arrived at 15, and a year later she was on "Dawson's Creek" . . . and it's just that easy!
Michelle has been nominated for 3 Academy Awards. Class? Can you name them?
1. Supporting Actress - "Brokeback Mountain"
2. Best Actress - "Blue Valentine"
3. Best Actress - "My Week With Marilyn"
Michelle's new film, "Oz The Great and Powerful," opens March 8th.
Dave is talking about the great actresses of the day when he is interrupted by Tommy O'Brien pushing a garbage barrel.
TOMMY O': "Hey boss. You got any recycling?"
DAVE: "I'm sorry, Tommy. What?" (Dave wasn't scripted to have Tommy repeat his request but I think he sensed Tommy's line got lost and the audience didn't hear. Dave had him repeat it. Dave did that with me once when I was scalping tickets)
TOMMY O': "You got any recycling?"
DAVE: "Oh, yeah." Dave grabs some wastebaskets from behind his desk filled with liquor and beer bottles. He hands them to Tommy who dumps them into his garbage can. Dave sees one Jack Daniel bottle with some left in it and grabs it and takes a swig before disposing.
TOMMY O': "Thanks, boss. I'll get the rest later."
Nice job, Mr. O!
When Tommy came by for the recycles, I thought Dave was going to throw in a bunch of jokes.
ANNOUNCE: "Join us again tomorrow as Dave welcomes Hugh Jackman, from "Girls" Zosia Mamet, and The Americans. And now, Quick N' Easy Recipe Corner.
Take an apple.
Eat the apple.
Star of the CBS series, "NCIS: Los Angeles" now in its 4th season. Chris comes from a big family, the youngest of 7. Was being the youngest OK? Chris says the youngest is better than being the oldest because by the time he came around his parents were so done raising kids. Yeah, he pretty much could do what he wanted. I can appreciate that. My older brothers made it easier for me.
Dave holds up a photo of Chris and Al Pacino . . . . at the Golden Globes in 1993. They were nominated for "Scent of a Woman." Chris remembers feeling terribly out of place, being just a kid and a newbie at such things. Chris describes what it was like acting with Al Pacino. He says Pacino has some peculiar ways of preparing but it was a great learning experience and you simply have to follow his lead. Chris says it was like being on a basketball team with Michael Jordan. You have to keep your eyes open, be ready for anything, and appreciate the greatness in front of you.
Chris is now on the CBS hit series, "NCIS: Los Angeles." He had the opportunity to direct a recent episode. The director has a lot of power and his wife realized that. She and her friends "asked" if they could appear in the episode. Chris placed them in a restaurant scene where somebody gets shot and killed. His wife and friends were supposed to act as if they were enjoying dinner with drinks, but they didn't act. They actually enjoyed dinner . . . and DRINKS. In the murder scene, they were to run out of the restaurant. Unfortunately, they ran out with big smiles on their faces from the champagne dinner. The scene had to be re-shot. That happens here all the time.
"NCIS: Los Angeles" - Tuesday nights at 9:00 PM right here on CBS!
From their EP album, "Von Grey," the four sisters performed "Coming For You."
And that was our show for Tuesday February 19, 2013.
The new "Oz The Great and Powerful" plays off, obviously, The Wizard of Oz. The musical "Wicked" has done boffo business on Broadway, also based on a secondary story from "The Wizard of Oz." This is what has always bothered me about the 1939 classic . . . . . so Dorothy gets bopped on the head by a flying window and dreams of following the Yellow Brick Road to the Emerald City. Of course it was all just a dream. Now, what happens to Toto? When Elmira Gulch discovers Toto got away, won't she simply return to Auntie Em's with the court order to take Toto away again? We're right back to square one. Maybe I'm looking too much into it, but there's a story there, no? Another tale? Another movie?
Did I spot a blunder, a goof, on Downton Abbey? I'd like to think so, but I doubt it.
Dr. Clarkson is attending the local fair with Isobel Crawley on his arm. He steps away to get them some drinks. He returns apologizing for taking so long, saying, "The cue was a mile long."
A mile long? I have a feeling I've come across this before. Would a Brit say he had to wait on a cue a mile long? In the 1920s, was a mile something they'd use to describe the length of something? A mile is a United States measure. Wouldn't they use "kilometer"?
The Dan Fogelberg story - told by Dave on April 14, 2003 and retold March 02, 2006 - as reported in the April 14, 2003 Wahoo Gazette:
Dave takes time out to tell a funny George Miller story he heard over the weekend. (George was a dear friend of Dave's who passed away last month. He had been on Dave's show 50-60 times') The story goes that George's on again/off again girlfriend (we'll call her Linda) finally had enough of the on again/off again relationship. Linda tells George that she wants to start seeing other guys. George becomes incensed. Later that night he sneaks back to her apartment and goes into her room. He finds a picture of Jesus on her night table. George takes a pen and scribbles "Go to Hell" across the front. When Linda gets home she notices the photo and, suspecting George, calls the police to report it. The cops go over to George's house to get his side of the story. When asked if he wrote "Go to Hell" across the picture of Jesus, George said, "Jesus Christ? I thought that was Dan Fogelberg."
Now you know.
I was reading the Daily News sports page the other day and came to well-known and respected columnist, Mike Lupica. Writes the Lupe: "What, I'm supposed to go on a hunger strike because they're dropping wrestling from the Olympics?"
Mike Lupica . . . . . You pompous snot-nosed little twit! You really consider yourself a sports writer yet you do not have respect for the sport of wrestling? It's obvious from this one comment that you are a prepped-out, nose-in-the-air, white-tennis-short, sweater wrapped around the neck, mani-pedi feeble dweeb who only knows sweat from what you've read in a book. Wrestling is the purest of all sports, the oldest of all sports. It goes back to the caveman who had to fight the other cavemen for a morsel to eat. It's man vs. man, pure and simple. There is no treasure waiting for them at the end of the rainbow. There is no major leagues or NBA or NHL or NFL. There are no riches for them. Wrestlers devote their entire lives to the sport. Your inability to see the purity of wrestling is mind-boggling. And you call yourself a sportswriter? I can maybe understand a simple pedestrian not appreciating the sport of wrestling, but EVERY sports writer has to realize its integrity and virtue. There is wrestling . . . and then there is everything else. Other sports can only hope to be as pure and honorable as wrestling. Where other athletes look for fame, fortune, and the camera, wrestlers know there is none waiting for them.
If you don't get wrestling, you don't get sports. You are not worthy to put your fingers to a typewriter to bang out anything to do with sports. You belong at "People."
When it comes to the Olympics, the Games should START with wrestling. And then there is everything else.
You just don't get it, Lupica.
Go drop some more names in your column and on Imus.
Something new: The David Letterman Show The Day They Were Born.
Michelle Williams was born September 9, 1980
What happened on Dave's morning show the day Michelle Williams was born?
The David Letterman Show, September 9, 1980 (#57): It's the Christmas Special with Fast Food Expert Tom Fellenstein, Miss America 1981 Susan Powell, and NBC Weatherman Willard Scott as Santa Claus. Also: Rich Hall's Ski Report, Hot Christmas Gifts for the Year, and Small Town News, with a call to John Ritz.
And that's what happened on Dave's morning show the day Michelle Williams was born.
Thank you, Donz, for the above.
Have you heard about the high school hockey team and the Harlem Shake? Google it and let me know what you think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Poughkeepsie, New York, Ramapo High School alum Alan Reznik
And that concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee