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Wednesday, April 3, 2013 Is Dave crazy about Crazy Dave?
Show #3830
Louis C.K., Rachel Maddow, and The Flaming Lips.
PLUS: Mr. Met; Sue Hum gets on; North Korea goes nuclear, the White House photographer, a Top Ten list, and Dave's views on Leno, Fallon, and NBC.

" . . . and now, Dutch physician and academic . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE

-"How many of you saw the white smoke coming from NBC earlier today?"
-"Did you hear about the political scandal here in New York? A guy tried to buy his way on to the ballot for NYC mayor . . . and he did this while holding a 32-ounce soda."

It's hard not to be all excited about baseball. Did you see the unfortunate incident that took place at Citifield, home of the New York Mets? Mr. Met, the team's mascot, got conked on the head with a foul ball. We have a photo of the x-ray. We see Mr. Met's head x-ray. It looks serious. Did you notice the stitches in his head?

What's this? Costume Designer Sue Hum enters. She stands by Dave.
DAVE: "Oh, hi, Sue. Nice to see you. How are you? Uhh, you know we're right in the middle of the show. What can I do for you?"
SUE: (with monologue joke) "Lindsay Lohan is pregnant. I thought she was just late for court."
DAVE: "Uhhh, I don't get that. What was that?"
SUE: "I told my friends I was going to be on the show tonight."
DAVE: "Uh huh. Nice job. Thank you, Sue."
Sue exits.

Oh, boy, have gotten a load of the nutty North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un? Well, he's hoping to get their nuclear program up and running. We have some live footage of their efforts.
We see a nuclear reactor in what looks to be Pyongyang . . . not really, but Dave likes to say Pyongyang. We scan down to the bottom of the reactor to find a westerner pulling on a lawnmower-type cord trying to start the thing. On the 3rd or 4th pull, tada! The reactor starts spewing out poisonous gas. But at least it provides cheap power!

The chief White House photographer during the George W. Bush administration has a new book out, entitled "Front Row Seat." Over the weekend, the author, Eric Draper, discussed some of the historic moments he documented. We take a look.
We see Eric Draper in an interview. He explains: "My job was not to be a distraction. My job was to purely document, and it was a very unique role to have that much access to the president and not to be a participant in meetings, but to be an observer."
While he speaks, we see some of the photographs he took of the President. We see President Bush watching "Tom and Jerry" on the TV, and then we see him naked under an open robe.

ACT 2:
Big news today is the official NBC announcement that Jimmy Fallon will be taking over the "Tonight Show" from Jay Leno sometime early next year. Dave gives a quick recap of the Late Night history featuring Dave, Conan, and Fallon. And then he mentions the recent troubled evolution of the transition from Leno to the next new host. We are aware of the Conan debacle, and what appeared to be a potential Fallon fumble now seems to be a smooth plan of the changing of the guard. Jay will be gone come February next year. Dave feels something is wrong. He doesn't get this. It is said that Jay is "retiring." Dave has known Jay for 38 years. Jay will be going out on top and Dave congratulates him on a job well done. He then wonders aloud how many times can Jay be pushed out? And what are the jerks at NBC thinking? Jay has been #1 for years and nothing but consistent. And his reward for that is what? Adios. Of course the main concern for Dave over all this, and among us all here, is how will this affect Dave? Can NBC push Dave out of his job? This is what we have for next year: Dave and Paul and two guys named Jimmy. It'll be Jimmy Jimmy and I Don't Care. Dave once again congratulates Jay on a job well done and wishes him luck if it is indeed true that he is leaving.

We open the Top Ten list. Back from the Top Ten animation, we find it's Crazy Dave! There is a small headless figure playing an accordion on Dave's desk. The figure dances just below Dave's head so it looks as if it is Crazy Dave's head atop the accordion player. Dave protests, claiming it is not him at all. Dave is not Crazy Dave and wants the darn thing to just go away. 10 points if you can guess who that was playing the accordion.

TOP TEN: THINGS WE WILL MISS ABOUT JAY LENO
8. He looks damn good in denim
5. If you broke down on the freeway, Jay was always there to help with a camera crew
4. Can't remember the name of the bit, but it's the one where Jay is walking
2. I won't be able to do this anymore (Dave does Leno impression)
1. Watching him interview big stars who won't do this show

Into commercial, Alan announces a new segment: "And now, an Item Not Funny Enough For Tonight's Top Ten!
‘Miss him? He'll have a show in a week!'
Not funny enough! Stay with us."

ACT 3:
LOUIS C.K.

The one-time writer for the Late Show has been making it big with his show on the FX, "Louie," and his HBO comedy specials. Making it in show biz isn't all rosy. It's nice to be recognized, but Louis finds it a bit annoying to be stopped for photos. He can understand why someone would want a photo, but Louis doesn't want to have his picture taken. He's very nice about it and kindly explains to those who ask, but it's just something he doesn't like to do. The other day two women stopped him and asked for a photo. He kindly declined and introduced himself and asked their name. He left but couldn't help notice that they seemed confused. Turned out the women wanted him, a stranger, to take a picture of them. They didn't want Louis in the photo at all. It was odd for him but can only imagine how odd it was for them from their perspective. Ever notice how somebody will preface asking for a favor with, "I don't mean to be an ‘sdd'hole, but can you . . . ." Whenever someone starts with "I don't mean to be an ‘sdd'hole, it means they are about to be an ‘sdd'hole. If you don't mean to be an ‘sdd'-hole, then don't.
Louis has two daughters, aged 7 and 11. He's discovered that once you have children, you also have to raise them. You try to shape them into being good people. He's advised them to be honest . . . even though lying fixes everything. Lying is great. It can get you out of so much trouble. Louis thinks lying has gotten a bad rap. C'mon, think about it. What's better than lying? What has gotten you out of more jams than lying?
Louis is busy with his FX show, "Louie." He was approached while on a stand-up tour to do a show. He agreed but demanded that there be no supervision, no one from the FX network would be looking over his shoulder. He was told that couldn't be guaranteed. He then simply said, "OK, then, no show. " The network backed off and agreed to stay out of the way. What would the show be about? Louis wouldn't say. But he was told he had to tell them. Louis: "OK, then, no show." The network backed off. Who would be on the show? Louis wouldn't tell. But he had to tell. "OK, then, no show." The network backed off. I like how that works. I might try that here on our last show. "Louis C.K.: Oh My God" – his comedy stand-up special premieres on the HBO Saturday, April 13th at 10:00 PM.

ACT 4:
RACHEL MADDOW

She's the host of the very popular MSNBC show, "The Rachel Maddow Show" and the author of the book, now in paperback, "Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power."

Rachel reached a milestone this week, turning 40 on Monday. On Tuesday, she decided to take up boxing. No, Rachel! When you turn 40 you're supposed to buy a convertible and a toupee! Instead, she took up boxing, but it's the good kind of boxing. She gets to punch but her opponent doesn't get to punch back. Still, she somehow is losing this fight as her hands are now in great pain. Rachel graduated from the very prestigious Stanford University and admits she felt guilty when she was accepted. She felt as if they made a mistake. She felt as if she was taking the place of someone who truly deserved the spot. She blames it on her grave insecurities. Early in her freshman year, there was a decision made that allowed students to look at their admission file. She hesitated for a few weeks until she built up the nerve to give it a look-see. She found what she expected; that she was one of the last people to be admitted that year. But as is true with everything, it doesn't matter where you start, it only matters where you end up . . . . . . . says the person who ends up on top.
Talk turns to the issues of the day, including the guy on MSNBC who looks exactly like Rachel, gay marriage and the Supreme Court, how to become an ambassador, and gun control.
"The Rachel Maddow Show" – weeknights at 9:00 PM on the MSNBC.
"Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power" – now in paperback.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "It's solid gold entertainment tomorrow as Dave welcomes Martin Short, and Tyler, The Creator. Do you have an extra postage stamp that's lying around and getting in the way? Put it on an envelope addressed to:
Extra Postage Stamp
Care of The Late Show
1697 Broadway
New York, New York, 10019.
Problem solved!"

ACT 7:
THE FLAMING LIPS

From their upcoming album, "The Terror," The Flaming Lips performed "Look . . . The Sun Is Rising"

And that was our show for Wednesday, April 3, 2013.

The last time Louis C.K. was here I remember there was a big scramble before the show trying to pin down if he spells his last name with periods or without. Is it "Louis CK" or "Louis C.K."? We needed it for the opening announce. Much debate took place, both sides coming up with references and confirmation to their way of thinking. And then someone had the brilliant idea of going to his dressing room and asking. Ta da! How simple was that. A producer was sent. The producer soon came back with the answer. Was it "CK" or C.K."? Which one was it? Says the producer; "Louis says he doesn't care. Go with whatever we want." I'm not sure which way we went, just so we were consistent throughout; cue cards, blue cards, opening animation, segment notes, etc. Tonight we went with periods because that's how the HBO is promoting his comedy special.
Louis' name: Louis Szekely

I'm thinking of getting a guitar for my office. I don't want to play it; I just want people to think I play it.

Playing the accordion during Crazy Dave: Will Lee, pre-taped during rehearsal.

I was watching the George Clooney movie, "Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou" the other day. I read where it mirrors Homer's Odyssey a bit. But the film didn't try too hard to hide its borrowing from "The Wizard of Oz" either. I also sensed some scenes from "The Grapes of Wrath," an obvious scene from "Moby Dick," and a scene where George Clooney sounded exactly like George Bailey in "It's a Wonderful Life" ("I just want to see my daughters.") Am I on to something? And could this film already be 13 years old?

Hey, Tom "Bones" Malone fans! You can find Tom on the horn this weekend, April 4, 5, and 6th at the Rocket City Jazz Festival in Huntsville, Alabama.

Where were you 153 years ago? If you were in St. Joseph, Missouri on April 3, 1860, you probably saw the start of the first westbound Pony Express delivery to Sacrament. A flier was distributed looking for riders. The ad called for:
Wanted
Young, skinny, wiry fellows.
Not over eighteen. Must be expert riders, willing to risk death daily. Orphans preferred. Wage: $25 a week

And to think, the Pony Express didn't last.

The oath taken by Pony Express riders:
"While I am the employ of A. Majors, I agree not to use profane language, not to get drunk, not to gamble, not to treat animals cruelly, not to do anything else that is incompatible with the conduct of a gentleman. And I agree, if I violate any of the above conditions, to accept my discharge without any pay for my services."

And we had to agree to the same terms here before signing on with Worldwide Pants.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Trying his best to hang onto his toes, it's Hillcrest Volunteer Fireman Gary Wren
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

Wahoo Gazette Archive

Monday, April 21
Dave's grandpa gives new meaning to "Hammertime."
Wednesday, April 9
How does Lindsay Lohan like her scrambled eggs?
Tuesday, April 8
Dave guarantees his retirement with a signature.
Friday, April 4
LiV Warfield raises the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater.
Thursday, April 3
Dave and Intern Todd enjoy racing fun at the Grand Prix.