Jon Hamm, Ricky Jay, and The So So Glos.
PLUS: History of Biting in Sports; GWBush: Not Good With Numbers; the new $100 bill; Dave in an elevator; Stooge of the Night; and is there a doctor in the house?
“ . . . and now, the driver of the Wells Fargo truck . . . . . . . David Letterman!”
-“It’s ‘Take Your Son Ro Daughter To Work Day,’ though because of the economy, for many it was ‘Take Your Son or Daughter To Where You Used To Work.’”
During a recent Premiere League soccer game, a player named Luis Suarez was caught biting a defenseman and was suspended for 10 games. This is not the first time a biting incident has taken place in professional sports. We take a look.
ART CARD: “History Of Biting In Sports”
ANNOUNCE: “Soccer” – we cut to footage of the above incident.
“Boxing” – we cut to footage of Mike Tyson taking a chomp out of Evander Holyfield’s ear.
“Bodybuilding” – we cut to Arnold Schwarzenegger explaining the art of biting using a carrot: “Biting.”
ANNOUNCE: “See you next time on ‘History of Biting in Sports.’”
George W. Bush sat down with Diane Sawyer last night, which inspired this new segment called, “George W. Bush: Not Good With Numbers.”
DIANE SAWYER: “Do you have one word for the Republican Party today?”
GWBUSH: “You will exist in the future.”
The Federal Reserve is releasing a newly designed $100 bill and they’ve added an assortment of high-tech security features. We take a look at this summary.
ANNOUNCE: “Introducing the newly redesigned $$100 bill, now enhanced with state-of-the-art security features, including a 3D security ribbon, a counterfeit-proof portrait watermark, and if someone tries to steal your wallet, the new $$100 bill will do this:”
We cut to Benjamin Franklin on the “hundred’ screaming like a ninny.
ANNOUNCE: “The Federal Reserve: Working For You.”
The economy is so bad, the new $100 bill is a fifty.
Did you hear about this? A guy in Austria was trapped inside a stuck elevator for . . . . four days! It reminded Dave of the similar harrowing experience he had recently.
Security footage shows us Dave entering an elevator. And then we see there is no escape. Trapped, Dave does whatever he can to keep his mind busy, to keep sharp, simply to keep alive. Hours pass, then days. And then the elevator opens and enters another. He presses his floor button. He says to a cowering Letterman in the corner of the elevator car, “Helps if you press the button, idiot.”
Time now for “When Did We First See That Clip?” The above elevator clip was a re-use. How long ago was it?
Answer: 2008. And here’s something real exciting, it was almost exactly 5 years to the day: April 24, 2008. Share that with only a select few friends . . . friends who understand your emotional attachment to the Late Show.
Hey, Alan, what time is it?
ALAN: “It’s time for ‘Stooge of the Night!’ Tonight’s stooge of the night is Democratic Senator Mark Pryor of Arkansas.”
We stay on a photo of Senator Mark Pryor.
DAVE: “Senator Mark Pryor voted ‘NO’ on gun reform legislation even though as a state legislator in Arkansas he authored four gun control bills that included background checks.
‘Hi, please call me ‘Mark.’ What can I do to put you in a LeSabre?’
It’s Mark Pryor, and he is our Stooge of the Night.
The preceding message was brought to you buy Del Frisco’s Double Eagle Steak House.
Star of the big popular “Mad Men” on the AMC. I’m not sure why it’s called “Mad Men.” All the men seem to be having one helluva time. “Mad Men” just finished taping their 6th season and Jon will soon be off to shoot a baseball-themed movie in India. Jon loves baseball, loves to travel, but isn’t much of a fan of getting vaccination shots when traveling. He had to get whole bunch of shots against Hepatitis A&B, tetanus, yellow fever encephalitis . . . and for malaria all you have to do is take a pill. Big tough guy, handsome guy, Jon Hamm is afraid of needles. Dave calls him “a baby.” Jon would like to protest, but . . . . He’ll be in India for about 3 weeks and hopes to get back in as good of shape as when he leaves.
Upon graduating college, Jon became a school teacher at his former St. Louis High School, a real “Welcome Back, Kotter” guy. He taught 8th through 11th grade, boys and girls. Of all the kids, he found the 8th grade boys to be the worst. They were absolutely horrible. I’ve heard the same from many people. Nothing worse than 8th grade boys. Jon says the 8th graders were the oldest in the junior high school. They thought they were all that. Loud, obnoxious, immature, dumb. The one pleasure he had was knowing they would be moving on to 9th grade and be the bottom of the barrel. They’d be going through a correction phase.
While talking about his baseball movie, Jon mentioned a pitching coach who was hired to advise and teach the India youth about baseball. The pitching coach is Tom House. OK, baseball fans, what is Tom House best known for?
Hint: April 8, 1974.
Answer: While in the Atlanta Braves bullpen, he caught Hank Aaron’s 715th home run which broke Babe Ruth’s record.
“Mad Men” – Sunday nights at 10:00 PM on the AMC. My favorite is Peggy.
Dave at the desk. He . . we all . . . hear the beeping of a pager. It’s someone in the audience.
DAVE: “Is everything OK?”
SURGEON: “So sorry to interrupt but there’s an emergency at the hospital.”
DAVE: “Oh, of course.”
SURGEON: “I’m a thoracic surgeon over at Mt. Sinai. Need to get to the O.R. right away.” (though he is making little effort to leave)
DAVE: “I understand. Good luck to you.”
SURGEON: “Thank you. You know, I’ve been doing this a long time, but that split second before making my first incision, I still feel this rush of terror. Oddly enough, it’s that terror that helps me perform at my best.
DAVE: “That’s fascinating, but . . . .”
SURGEON: “Gosh, I remember the first person I ever performed surgery on. Her name was Bella Lawrence. Wonderful woman. Very risky surgery. Right before the anesthesia kicked in she says to me . . .”
DAVE: “Excuse me, doctor . . . .”
SURGEON: “She says to me, ‘Doctor Foley, I’ m so scared. ‘ And I look her right in the eyes and say, ‘Me, too. But we’ll get through this together, I promise.’ And it’s those days that you’re thankful for.”
DAVE: “I’m sorry, but the emergency . . . . .”
SURGEON: (getting up) “You’re right. I can get carried away sometimes . . . which reminds me of something my Medical School instructor used to say . . . . . he used to say, ‘Foley, shut up’ . . . . and . . . . well, I gotta go. Mt. Sinai, was it? If you ever need a thoracic surgeon, I’m on Facebook . . . Dr. Martin Foley . . . “
And he exits out the back.
Big KUDOS to Dr. Foley. All that without cue cards! And he didn’t have all that much time to prepare. I really don’t know how they do that.
Whenever we have someone in the audience, whether it’s a professional or a staffer, we don’t use cue cards. We don’t want to ruin the illusion for the audience.
Going into commercial: Photo Club photo --- it’s stage manager Eddie Valk
ANNOUNCE: “Get back here Monday for Dave and his guests Mindy Kaling, former CIA analyst Nada Bakos, and Ben Harper with Charlie Musselwhite! And now, Eye Exercise With Alan!”
We see a live shot of Alan. He is moving his eyes up, down, this way and that.
ALAN: “Yeah, that’s it. Feel it. Nice job.”
Sleight-of-hand artist, Ricky was very interesting in his obvious passion for his craft and a real student of its history. His love of magic started as a young boy, sharing the fervor handed down by his grandfather. He then speaks with love for the greats, like Slydini and Dai Vernon and Max Malini and Charlie Miller.
Ricky is the subject of a documentary film, “Deceptive Practice: The Mysteries and Mentors of Ricky Jay.” One part of the film stuck with Dave. Ricky performs a sleight-of-hand of changing two one-dollar bills into one two-dollar bill. One observer hounded Ricky on how he did it. And hounded and hounded and hounded. One day this guy followed Ricky into the shower. There could be no two-dollar bill up his sleeve there. The guy gave Ricky two one-dollars and made him do the trick. And he did it. Dave appreciates the secrecy in the magician world but wants to know how he did it. Dave doesn’t want to actually know how . . . . but how, if that makes any sense.
Ricky Jay then performs a card trick for Dave.
Me? I used to like magic a lot, but as I’ve gotten older it now just frustrates me to no end. I find myself getting angry with my inability to figure out the how. Maybe it’s envy.
Ricky Jay --- liked it a lot.
THE SO SO GLOS: From their album, “Blowout,” The So So Glos performed “Son Of An American.”
And that was our show for Friday, April 26, 2013.
Listening to Ricky Jay talk about magic and sleight-of-hand artistry reminded me of something I read about WC Fields. WC Fields was a fabulous juggler and says he spent as much time perfecting his craft as Vivaldi did on violin, or Chopin on piano. Ricky Jay has probably done the same.
And me and blogging.
George Jones died, said by many to have the greatest country singing voice of all time. I’ll have to look it up but I recall Dave once saying that if you are in that certain mood and the time is just right . . . . and George Jones comes on the radio singing, “He Stopped Lovin’ Her Today” . . . . boy, oh, boy, it can grab you right by the throat and not let go. Go ahead and give ol’ George a listen right now.
I’m planning on taking my girls to see the film “The Sapphires,” mainly to expose them to the greatness of Sam and Dave. I’ve been trying to hook them on to their music but so far, no go. Hopefully this film will do it. If I can get them to take Sam & Dave and Janis Joplin to college with them in a year-and-a-half, I’ll be a happy man.
Is it me or do you do this too? No disrespect intended. When you go to a Chinese restaurant, do you ask for an “egg wo”? I don’t mean to but that’s the way it always comes out.
George Jones: He sang country when country was country
Finally! A nice weekend coming ahead! I’ll be planting my new invention, the flower tree. It’s a vertical garden! Watch for it on my future website.
Did I ever tell you how my father was responsible for the audio at Woodstock? Remind me to share that one day.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Ahhh, it’s their 11th Anniversary, congratulations to Tara Callahan DeGeorge and Joe DeGeorge.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee
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