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Monday, April 29, 2013 Looking for mile-high love? Here's what not to do on Virgin Airlines.
Show #3840
Mindy Kaling, Nada Bakos, and Ben Harper with Charlie Musselwhite.
PLUS: Tebow's Jets Career; Virgin Airlines; GWBush at his replica; "Iron Man 3"; Stooge of the Night; a Top Ten List; and Oyster Cove Seafood Syrup.

" . . . and now, with dusty elegance . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
-"Quarterback Tim Tebow was released by the New York Jets. He was ordered to hand in his playbook and his hymnal."

We then went to a video clip. It is the quickest "go to a video clip" in my memory.
We take "A Look At Tim Tebow's Jets Career."
Art Card: "A Look At Tim Tebow's Jets Career."
Music intro.
We see Tim Tebow sitting on the sideline.
Art Card: "A Look At Tim Tebow's Jets Career."

Virgin Airlines is now offering an in-flight flirting system called, "Seat-to-Seat Delivery," where passengers can send other passengers private messages and drinks. We take a look at their promotion.
ANNOUNCE: "Looking for mile-high love? Then try Virgin Airlines' new Seat-to-Seat Delivery."
Vt – We see the interior of a Virgin plane. A young lovely is given a drink sent over by a lustful gent. It comes with a message.
ANNOUNCE: "Send them an erotic message."
Message reads: "My pants are in an upright and locked position."
ANNOUNCE: "And if things don't work out, break up with him."
The flight attendant returns to the gent with a message from the young lovely.
The flight attendant throws a drink in his face.
The guy over-acts and cries out in pain.
ANNOUNCE: "Virgin Airlines: Come flirt with us."

The George W. Bush Library and Museum is up and running and will be open to the public on May 1st. The library has an exact replica of the Oval Office, which right at this moment is occupied by the former President himself, #43, George W. Bush. We have a satellite hookup with the President. We see a split screen of Dave and the Pres.
Dave asks the President a bevy of questions. #43 just sits and stares.
Recycle, reuse, reduce!

ACT 2:
Are you folks excited for the new "Iron Man" movie? It looks phenomenal. We take a look.
ANNOUNCE: "When a formidable foe destroys all of his Iron Man honor, Tony Stark is forced to do battle wearing the only suit he has left."
ROBERT DOWNEY JR AS IRON MAN: "Sometimes you've got to run before you can walk." We see a guy in a silly dog costume running up Broadway.
ROBERT DOWNEY JR. AS IRON MAN: "How about that?"
ANNOUNCE: "'Iron Man 3'. Starts Friday."

Hey, Alan, what time is it?
ALAN: "It's time for ‘Stooge of the Night.' Tonight's stooge of the night is Republican Senator Marco Rubio of Florida."
DAVE: "Florida Senator Marco Rubio voted ‘NO' on gun reform legislation after admitting he hadn't read the bill. He believes Congress should be focused on violence rather than guns. Let's watch him in action."
We see a silly loop of Rubio reaching for some water.
DAVE: "It's Marco Rubio, and he is our ‘Stooge of the Night' . . . . . . . . . . Alan?"
ALAN: "'Stooge of the Night' is brought to you by Sammy's Roumanian Steak House. Remember, it's not really a steak unless it's Roumanian. Back to you, Dave."

TOP TEN: Phrases You Don't Want To See In An Online Dating ProfileMartha Stewart is looking for a long-term relationship and has signed up with Match.com.
Phrases You Don't Want To See In An Online Dating Profile
10. "Never convicted"
9. "Probably a tapeworm"
8. "Rest in Peace, Qaddafi"
7. "Mommy says I'm handsome"
6. "95% bedbug-free"
5. "Casino restroom attendant"
4. "Face tattoo"
3. "Limbaugh-esque"
2. "Per hour"
1. ‘Twice, with Andy Dick"

ACT 3:
MINDY KALING

Mindy recently attended a dinner party and who was there? Tom Hanks! After dinner, they played a game called "Assassin." Each player is secretly assigned a role; one of whom would be the murderer. The participants have to figure out which one is the murderer. Mindy was very impressed at how much Tom got into it. Dave lets it known that he wouldn't partake. It's adios for Dave when it's game time. I'm in Dave's corner on this. Playing and performing is too much like work. My idea of fun is a drink in my hand and doing absolutely nothing. Really doesn't matter where I am. The above fits in any place. Well, Mindy knew immediately that it was Tom, but no one wanted to accuse him. Once accused, the person is out of the game. No one wanted to do that to Tom. Mindy's show, "The Mindy Project," can be seen on the FOX, Tuesdays at 9:30 PM. And she will be appearing in the big finale of "The Office" on May 16th at 9:00 PM on NBC, preceded by an hour-long commercial grab about "The Office" series. Not sure if we should believe Dave but he says Mindy told him that Steve Carell would be making an appearance in the finale as well.

ACT 4:
Dave is at the desk and we hear some pretty piano music, but it's not coming from Paul. What is going on?
We see a happy, cheerful, somewhat rotund man enter. He is holding a jug of something. He stops by Paul's piano.
GUY: "Mornin' Dave. Mornin' Paul." (to the camera) "You know, folks, time was when breakfast was simple and satisfying. Well, the good old times are back, thanks to delicious Oyster Cove Seafood Syrup! Made with chunks of real oysters, clams, and mussels adds a tangy taste of the sea to your pancakes or waffles."
He pours sump lumpy Oyster Syrup onto a waiting plate of pancakes. He offers the plate to Paul.
PAUL: "I don't do shellfish. No thank you."
GUY: "Dave?"
DAVE: "I don't do shellfish, either.
GUY: "Suit yourself! It's also terrific straight from the jug."
The guy takes a slug from the jug, leaving an Oyster Cove Seafood Syrup mustache.
GUY: "Oyster Cove Seafood Syrup. That's what I've been craving!"
He exits.
Closing graphic: "Oyster Cove Seafood Syrup . . . .may also contain jellyfish, sea urchin, and or barnacle"

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "We've got it goin' on again tomorrow as Dave welcomes Dr. Phil, Chris O'Dowd, and Phoenix. Plus, check out Phoenix Live on Letterman! Phoenix's exclusive concert webcast is live Tuesday at 8 PM Eastern, 5 PM Pacific, only at CBS.com/lateshow. See you on the bus!"

ACT 6:
NADA BAKOS

She's a former CIA analyst who came on board in 2000. She worked primarily on a team in charge of defining the relationship between Iraq, and al-Qaeda, and eventually 9/11. She worked on putting the pieces of a complex puzzle together. She later became a targeting officer who analyzed incoming information and would then decide who we should be looking for who might hurt us or who could help us. Our invading of Iraq may have led Iraq to joining forces with al Qaeda terrorists. Before that, the connection wasn't there. The HBO documentary, "Manhunt," follows the path of the CIA intelligence gathering to the eventual demise of Osama bin Laden. Getting Osama was just one of the goals. He was just one cog in a wide array of terrorism.
"Manhunt" – premieres this Wednesday at 8:00 on HBO.

ACT 7:
BEN HARPER WITH CHARLIE MUSSELWHITE

From their new blues album, "Get Up," Ben White and Charlie Musselwhite, along with the Harlem Gospel Choir, performed "We Can't End This Way." I have the CD. I think it may be my summer listen.

And that was our show for Monday, April 29, 2013.

Did I see this right? I was flipping through the channels Saturday night and on CNN they were showing the Red Carpet entrance for the White House Correspondents dinner. Really? Was there really any, "Oooh, oooh! There's Terry Moran!" going on?

Saw an odd message on a brown bag backstage. It read "Back up pancakes." If something happened to the pancakes for the Oyster Cove Seafood Syrup, we had another batch ready to go.

Top Ten: Phrases You Don't Want To See In An Online Dating Profile
I offered the following, just in case
-Infected but treatable
-Credit card accepted
-Photo not available
-Member of the A.V. squad
-Oozing secretions
-Open sore
-I'll have to ask my parole officer
-In my mother's basement
-Scabbed-up
-Once, with Andy Dick (DING)
-Barnacles
-Only with a bidet

"Once, with Andy Dick" – it was probably changed to "Twice, with Andy Dick" since it was put in at #1.

New York Knicks JR Smith was ejected and suspended for a cheap and flagrant elbow to the face of a Boston Celtics. The valuable JR had so sit out Game 4 which the Knicks lost in overtime. If he played, the Knicks likely would have won. Still, the Knicks lead the best-of-seven series 3-1. BUT . . . . this is what I see in my Magic 8 Ball . . . . a key Knick will go down in Game 5, a game that shouldn't have to be played. Because of his elbow foul in Game 3 and ensuing suspension, JR made it necessary for the Knicks to play a Game 5. And in Game 5 Tuesday night, a very important player on the Knicks will injure himself and be out for the rest of the playoffs. That's showing ‘em, JR, that's showing ‘em.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
This is for when he Googles his name, Sam Terry
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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