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Wednesday, May 8, 2013 Wahoo Exclusive: Inside Chris Christie's Pants
Show #3847
Michael Strahan, Alyson Hannigan, and Natalie Maines.
PLUS: Most Influential Athlete; Governor Christie's weight loss; Mr. Rogers Neighborhood – The Movie; Dave gets picked on; the Great Gatsby in 3D; Stooge of the Night; a Top Ten list; and Alan Kalter's Prove Me Wrong!

" . . . and now, with his latest attempt . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE

-"The Cicadas are back after 17 years . . . but they don't have their original drummer."

Tim Tebow has been announced by Forbes magazine as the most influential athlete. We take a look at the announcement.
ANNOUNCE: "'Forbes' would like to congratulate Tim Tebow for being named the ‘Most Influential Athlete for 2013.' By ‘influential' we mean a compelling figure who gets the public's attention on issues. And by ‘athlete' we mean someone who does this."
We cut to Tim Tebow sitting on the bench during a Jets/Patriots game.
ANNNOUNCE: "'Forbes': Still in print."

Best part of this was seeing the score of the Jets/Patriots game . . . .
Patriots 49, Jets 12. Yeah, if he wasn't going to get into that game, he never was. I think the Jets were nervous that he would have done well. Then the fans would have wondered why they never used him.

-"Mark Sanford was elected to Congress from South Carolina. I love a guy who stands up for traditional values while banging an Argentine spitfire." Dave explains that the reason many may not have got that joke is because he took a lot of stuff out just before the show. Dave has Tony Cue Cards show the cue card for the joke. Most of it was white-taped over. Looking back, Dave realizes the taped-over part may have been of value.

Since his surgery, Governor Chris Christie has lost a substantial amount of weight and is looking great! The Governor called the Late Show and suggested we show his old pants to let us see how much weight he's lost. We have a couple of interns in the audience with the pants. We cut to the audience to see the two interns. Each is standing in a pant leg of Christie's pants. Yup, he was just that fat!
SEE BELOW FOR A WAHOO EXCLUSIVE!

Chris Christie is not the first politician to battle with his weight, so we put together a segment called, "History of Politicians and Weight Loss." We watch. ANNOUNCE: "February 2013: Governor Chris Christie underwent lap-band surgery, and has already lost more than 40 pounds.
October 2011: President Bill Clinton switched to an all-vegan diet, and lost over 25 pounds. March 1912: President Taft improved his appearance by installing a larger bathtub.
This has been 'History of Politicians and Weight Loss.' "

According to a new report, a film about the life of beloved children's television icon, Mr. Rogers, will soon be coming to the big screen. We've gotten our hands on the first trailer.
"MR. ROGERS NEIGHBORHOOD"
ANNOUNCE: "He taught us to care. He taught us to share. Now, one of the most-beloved television icons of our time is going to teach us how to KICK . . . SOME . . . ASS! Vin Diesel is Mr. Rogers and it's a dangerous day in the neighborhood."
We see some car chases and crashes.
ANNOUNCE: "'Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.' Coming soon. "

ACT 2:
The big Great Gatsby movie opens this Friday. It's also in 3D! They are also releasing a novelization of the film at the same time. Dave saw this commercial for it.
ANNOUNCE: "Critics are already raving about ‘Great Gatsby 3-D,' hitting theaters this Friday. And now you can relive the magic of the film in book form, with the Great Gatsby novelization."
We see a student thoroughly enjoying the book.
STUDENT: ""This book is amazing!"
Over his shoulder, we see the print is in 3D
ANNOUNCE: "'The Great Gatsby 3-D' novelization. The future of literature is now."

Dave exclaims, "It's like the words are floating above the page!"

Hey, Alan, what time is it?
Tonight's "Stooge of the Night" is Republican Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky.
DAVE: "Kentucky Senator Rand Paul voted ‘NO' on gun reform legislation despite the fact that 82% of voters in his state wanted background checks for gun buyers. Also, 82% of the voters in his state believe he's wearing a toupee. I believe his actual real name is Randy. His actual last name is Paulie. And he's wearing a toupee. Did he have to get a background check to wear that toupee? You people in Kentucky elected a toupee to the Senate.
It's Rand Paul, and he's our ‘Stooge of the Night.'" Alan?
ALAN: "'Stooge of the Night' is brought to you buy Nedicks. For fine hot dogs and hot dog-related materials since before 1981, it's Nedicks! When you don't fell like dressing up for Nathans. Back to you, Dave."

Dave opens up the Top Ten and when we return from the animation, some punk kid rides his bicycle in and confronts Dave.
PUNK: "Hey Letterman! I'll be waiting for you after the show on 53rd Street."
DAVE: "Uh, Why? I . . . I got things to do. I don't need problems with you."
PUNK: "Well, you got problems now!"
The kid takes one of Dave's pencils and breaks it in half. He hops back on his bike and rides off.
Paul asks, "Dave, who was that?"
DAVE: ""I think it was one of the Jimmys."

I would have liked this better if the kid rode in with baseball cards on his spokes.

TOP TEN: LEAST MEMORABLE JAMES BOND FILMS – 50 years ago today was the U.S. premiere of the very first James Bond film, Dr. No.
: LEAST MEMORABLE JAMES BOND FILMS
10. "Lick and Let Dry"
6. "Gold Bond: The Spy Who Loved Medicated Powder"
3. "Leafraker."

ACT 3:
MICHAEL STRAHAN

He's the new Regis on the Regis and Kelly Show. And he's a former football pro-bowler and Super Bowl champion. Dave asks his views on NBA basketball player Jason Collins coming out that he is gay. Michael says as long as he can rebound and score then it's fine. That's how athletes are. If you can help the team win, all is good. Dave says he considers himself a big supporter of the gay community and has always enjoyed lesbianism. Michael laughs a hearty laugh and says, "You know, it's pretty hard to catch me off guard but you got me there."
Michael Strahan – see him mornings on the "Live! With Kelly and Michael" show.

ACT 4:
It's time for a popular segment on the Late Show, "Alan Kalter's ‘Prove Me Wrong.'"
ALAN: "Thank you, Dave. I'm sure you're all familiar with Ted Danson, the Emmy-winning actor known for his work in ‘Cheers,' ‘Becker,' ‘C.S.I', ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm,' just to name a few of his shows. But are you aware that Ted makes most of his money from trafficking in black market kidneys which he obtains from indigents who live in his string of flop houses? Prove Me Wrong!"
Freeze on Alan.
ANNOUNCE: "The views of Alan Kalter are his own and do not reflect the opinions of David Letterman, the ‘Late Show,' or CBS. Complaints, lawsuits, and any evidence disproving Alan's claims may be directed to:"
Prove Me Wrong!
c/o The Late Show
1697 Broadway
New York, NY 10019"
Going into commercial, we enjoy another of the "Backstage Photo Club" playing cards. Tonight: Eddie Brill
Collect ‘em all!

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "It'll be a great one tomorrow as Dave welcomes Jack Hanna, and Benedict Cumberbatch. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives . . . small, granular pieces of silica, usually in the form of quartz.
I don't understand how metaphors work."

ACT 6:
ALYSON HANNIGAN

She's on the very successful CBS comedy series, "How I Met Your Mother," created by former Late Show writers Carter Bays and Craig Thomas . . . or is it Craig Bays and Carter Thomas? I always get it mixed up.
Alyson is the mom of two; a four-year-old and an 11-month-old. She says the younger is laid back while the elder is go go go and a doer. Yup. Sounds right. The younger has already learned that the older sister will take care of it, whatever needs to be taken care of.
Alyson is about to celebrate her10th Anniversary and feels a lot of pressure to better the gift she got her husband last year. Hubby always wanted a motorcycle but she was against it. But last year she decided to surprise him with a Triumph. He was beyond elated. Now she won't ever be able to top that. Dave advises right . . . just get him some motorcycle socks or something. She's good for a long time with the motorcycle. Don't worry about it.
"How I Met Your Mother" – the 8th season finale is Monday, May 13th. Do we find out who the mother is? Maybe. Could Alyson be the mother? She quickly blurts, "No." Dave thinks she's lying. You'll have to watch, Monday at 8:00 PM.

ACT 7:
NATALIE MAINES

An original Dixie Chick, from her first solo album "Mother," Natalie Maines performed "Take It On Faith."

And that was our show for Wednesday, May 8, 2013.

Rain equals bumper to bumper, non-moving traffic. I'm way behind already and the day hasn't even started. This will be quick.

James Bond trivia:
There have been 23 James Bond movies. Only 4 do not have the letter "O" in the title.
Name them.

WAHOO EXCLUSIVE!
Chris Christie's pants in the audience! When we first shot that, the interns were inside a pair of Christie's dark blue pants. When the interns stood up, you couldn't really tell they were inside pants. Too dark. It didn't read. During the commercial break, we got a second pair of big pants, lighter in color, so we could see it better. The shot you saw of the interns standing inside the pants was taped during the commercial break.
This concludes a Wahoo Exclusive!

With the Knicks/Rangers/Islanders/Nets in the playoffs, every night there has something. With the Nets out, there is still something every night but with less overlap. It makes for some exciting home viewing. New Yorkers have forgotten what it's like to have hockey and basketball teams in the playoffs.

Mike Henderson, East Windsor, New Jersey: "The ‘Newhart' last show was by far the best series-ender."
It's 2013, so you know what that means! It's time for a new Tony Mendez Show. Check it out on the Late Show website!

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Connecticut, by way of Norlen Lane in New City, New York, it's Dave Frasco!
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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