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Monday, June 24, 2013 Rupert Jee gives the Hello Deli an instant upgrade.
Show #3870
Melissa McCarthy, Idris Elba, and Dale Watson and His Lonestars.
PLUS: Edward Snowden sneaks out of Hong Kong; World War Z; the Hello Deli restaurant rating; a Top Ten list; and the Men's Wearhouse new spokesman.

" . . . . and now, working without a net . . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE:

-"According to experts, Kanye West popped the question: ‘How do I get out of this?'"

Dave refers to Paul's wild, spotted and dotted suit jacket. I always wonder about Paul's and Bones Malone's jackets. They are either wildly expensive, or relegated to the bargain bin at the local thrift store. Not sure.
My wardrobe is usually met with the comment, "K-Mart has a sale?"

Government officials are trying to figure out how Edward Snowden managed to sneak out of Hong Kong. It turns out his escape was caught on security video from Hong Kong International Airport. We take a look.
We see the air-freight baggage handler from last week haphazardly tossing boxes onto a conveyor belt leading into a plane. Standing alongside the boxes is Edward Snowden. He too is tossed. Luckily he made it onto the belt.

We are interrupted by this announcement, accompanied with chyron: "Dave Letterman has chosen not to wear a tether or have a net below him. This program is live. Anything could happen. Viewer discretion is advised."
I'm not worried about Dave. I'm worried that his jokes will fall flat. It's the jokes that need a net.

With "World War Z" now in theaters, zombies are on everyone's mind. Dave saw this interesting announcement.
We see scene from the "World War Z." Chaos in the streets. Zombies eating soylent green.
ANNOUNCE: "Americans are understandably concerned about the zombie threat. First Lady Michelle Obama reminds you that if the worst happens and you become one of the undead, with an insatiable appetite for human flesh, also eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables."
We see a zombie feasting on the vegetable
ANNOUNCE: "The Obama Administration: We give up."

Now we're hearing that Edward Snowden has left Russia after arriving there from Hong Kong. He's looking to park himself possibly in Ecuador. Dave saw this interesting report on CNN.
ANNOUNCE: "Edward Snowden continues to elude American authorities. It now appears that he may have left Russia, with a hope of gaining asylum in either Cuba or Ecuador. Meanwhile, Snowden's hot, pole-dancing girlfriend has been offered asylum by the following countries."
We see a lightning quick chyron crawl of all the nations willing to take in the pole-dancing sweetheart. My count found 65. Damn! Even Canada was on the list!
ANNOUNCE: "More news after this."

ACT 2:
New York City restaurants are rated for cleanliness. If your restaurant meets all standards, you get an "A" and an 8X11 sticker to display in your window. If you find a hair in your chicken salad, you may get a "B". We make a quick visit to Rupert's Hello Deli to find out how his place did in the most recent city inspection. After some small chitchat, Rupert invites the camera to show his proud rating on display.
We see an "A" on his window, made from a bevy of 8X11 "C" ratings. See what he did there? He formed an "A" using a bunch of "C"s. Rupert then introduces the hardest working woman on Broadway, his friend and co-worker May Chin. She steps forward and bows.

TOP TEN: THOUGHTS GOING THROUGH NIK WALLENDA'S MIND AT THIS MOMENT.
On Sunday, highwire daredevil Nik Wallenda walked a tightrope across a gorge near the Grand Canyon. We take a look at a 10-second clip of his walk over the 1,500 gorge. Multiply that by 100 times and you got the whole thing.
THOUGHTS GOING THROUGH NIK WALLENDA'S MIND AT THIS MOMENT.
8. "There must be a better way to get a pole across a canyon."
2. "Oh, crap, my fly is open."

Two of my offering:
-"One slip and I make Marv Albert's Sports Bloopers."
-"North West? Really?!"

ACT 3:
MELISSA MCCARTHY

From CBS's "Mike and Molly" and the co-star of the new film, "The Heat." She's currently about to finish up filming "Tammy," which she co-wrote, that takes place in Niagara Falls. One more day of shooting. And when that's over, she and her husband and her two children, aged 2 and 6, will rent an RV and drive cross-country back home to California. She's concerned that it will either be a great experience and a complete disaster. Dave gives the adventure two thumbs up and supports the idea. The 6-year-old will never forget it. Still, Melissa is hopeful and isn't sure. There is certain to be a lot of potholes along the way. Dave offers some ideas on places to stop along the way, highlighting a few locales in his adopted home state of Montana.
Her new film, "The Heat," co-stars her along with Sandra Bullock. She heard a lot of wonderful things about Sandra before working with her and found what she heard all to be true. The two got along great on the set and from the clip of them rousing it up at a local bar, it looks like they knew how to have fun. "The Heat" – two undercover cops, total opposites, going in the same direction. It opens this Friday.

ACT 4:
Alan asked Dave if he could have a moment to share some big news. Unfortunately, we have time so Dave throws it over to Alan.
ALAN: "Thank you, Gomer. Appreciate it. You've all heard that the Men's Wearhouse canned that bearded stooge, George Zimmer. After three decades they finally realized that sex sells, and they quickly contacted . . . . Big Red.
That's right, America. You're looking at the new face of Men's Wearhouse! Here's a sneak preview. Enjoy."
We see the new Men's Wearhouse commercial starring Alan Kalter.
We see a wedding scene of a bride and groom walking down the aisle.
ALAN (V.O.): "On your wedding day, it's all about the bride . . . . her dress, her flowers, her hair. But while everyone is looking at her, she'll be looking at me. And, although there's a father of the bride, she'll be calling me Daddy. I guarantee it."

That rates an orange level in the "ick" factor.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Don't play games with your future. Join us tomorrow as Dave welcomes Channing Tatum, climate activist Tim DeChristopher, and Fitz and The Tantrums. A special shout-out to longtime Late Show fan Hassan Rowhani, who was recently elected president of Iran. Nice going, Hassan! Back in two."

ACT 6:
IDRIS ELBA

The Londoner with the wonderful accent stars in the new sci-fi, sea monster blockbuster, "Pacific Rim." You may also recognize the face but not his unaccented voice from HBO's "The Wire." One of his first bits of work was in the sci-fi thriller, "Space Precinct" where he played a pizza delivery guy. You may have recognized his face but not his voice because they didn't use his voice. They used a German actor for that. It was comforting to see that in "Space Precinct" which takes place in the far future, pizza will still be worthy of a delivery. It'll never go out of style.
In "Pacific Rim," the world is attacked by monstrous sea monsters. The only way to defeat them is to think like them. First thing I would do would be to call "Diver Dan." He'd know what to do.
"Pacific Rim" – opens July 12th.

ACT 7:
DALE WATSON AND HIS LONESTARS

From their album, "El Rancho Azul," Dale Watson and His Lonestars sang country the way country is supposed to be sung, performing "I Lie When I Drink."

And that was our show for Monday, June 24, 2013.

Uh oh, my daughter is tired of the Kardashians. As one teen goes, so goes them all.

Walking to work this morning I passed a Starbucks. Over 25 people on line for the morning coffee. My limit to wait for anything is 3. I wondered what the limit was for the last person on line. If there were 30 people on line, would she get on? 40? How about 50? I tell you, Starbucks must be one powerful drug to have that many people wait for their A.M. jolt.

"Mad Men" / "The Sopranos" connection? We saw Dan Draper work his way up to great heights in his field of work, and then suddenly lose everything and forced to restart his career from scratch, just like Tony Soprano. We'll see how similar they are next year if it ends with Dan Draper with his family sitting in an old simple common restaurant . . . . . suspiciously looking over his shoulder

Tried my hand at cooking ribs on the charcoal grill. Did my due diligence on the internets and YouTube and was more than a bit surprised that it would take up to 4 hour on indirect heat to finish the job. So, starting at 1:00 I was already in a rush to get it done in time for dinner. A little more than 2-and-a-half hours later, the ribs were burnt to a crisp. My guess is it wasn't indirect enough. I'm gonna have to read up on BBQing with Paula Dee . . . I mean, Bobby Flay.

As bad as professional sports is abused and misused for the television audience, there still is no better reality show on the TV than your baseball, football, hockey, and basketball. We've had some tremendous scripts since the October World Series. The twists and turns are incredible. Congrats to the city of Chicago and your Blackhawks for winning the Stanley Cup. It was great to see two Original 6's in the finals. It was hard to root against either one.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Minisink High School graduate, Laura DelRegno
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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