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Tuesday, July 16, 2013 Your 2013 Purina Incredible Dog Challenge Champion.
Show #3879
Bill Maher, Polly Montgomery, and Pokey LaFarge.
PLUS: The Non-All-Stars; a Sharknado Sequel; and Dock Diving Dogs!
" . . . . and now, spoiler alert . . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE:
- "It was so hot last night, to cool off I slept on my air hockey table."
- "Twinkies are back and supposedly healthier. Sure, they're free range."
- "The Major League Baseball game was earlier tonight. I love baseball. They condemn performance enhancing drugs, but every commercial is for Viagra."

The Major League Baseball All-Star game was earlier tonight, but not every player can be an All-Star. We've put together this segment called, "Meet the Non-All-Stars."
ART CARD: MEET THE NON-ALL-STARS
ANNOUNCE: "Toronto Blue Jays shortstop Chet Pembleton: whenever a ball is hit in his direction, he curls up in a fetal position. This has been 'Meet the Non-All-Stars.' "
ART CARD: MEET THE NON-ALL-STARS
Back LIVE to Dave we find stagehand/property master Pat Farmer standing nearby.
DAVE: "Oh, hi, Pat. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Pat Farmer, one of our stagehands. Umm, Pat, what brings you here?"
PAT: "Well, Dave, I love that last bit, but I'm confused about something."
DAVE: "Uh, huh, and what is that?"
PAT: "This guy is good enough to be a major league baseball player, beating out lots of other excellent ball players, but he's somehow also terrible? It sounds to me you make him like anybody right off the street would be better than this guy."
DAVE: "Uh, yeah, interesting point."
PAT: "I realize you have to take comedic liberties, but be careful. That's all I'm saying."
Pat exits. I'm surprised he didn't finish with, "And that's a memo."

Jiminy crickets, have you watched this "Sharknado" movie on the Syfy channel? It became a hot trending topic when it premiered last week, whatever that means. The films popularity has already produced a sequel that's in the works. We take a look.
ANNOUNCE:"We brought you sharks and a tornado in 'Sharknado' . . . . . now, get ready for sharks . . . . . and a consumer protection advocate, automobile safety reform crusader and former Green Party candidate in 'Sharknader.'"
Cut to a shot of a ferocious shark with the head of Ralph Nader.
SHARKNADER: "To make demands, uh, for improving the rights of labor..."
ANNOUNCE: "'Sharknader.' This fall, on SyFy."

This joke looked bad on paper. I was surprised it was worse on the screen.

ACT 2:
HOT! The current temperature is 93 degrees. When it's that hot in the city, the heat gets inside the walls of the building and seeps deep into the pavement. Walking down the street, you feel the heat from all sides. Figuratively, it's literally an oven.
So, how does Dave keep cool? The man is always thinking. He calls for a camera to come behind. We see two bags of ice sitting on his lap. If Dave ever asks me over for drinks, remind me to decline.

DOCK DIVING DOGS: It's part of the Purina Incredible Dog Challenge. We have a diving pool set up on 53rd Street measuring 45 feet long and holding 20,000 gallons off water. The runway ramp is 40 feet long. And the traffic backup up due to our setting up the pool on 53rd Street measures a thousand times that.

DOCK DIVING DOG #1: Yeager, with owner David Skoletsky. Yeager is a Belgian Malinois. David and Yeager are from Sloughton, Massachusetts. "A suburb of Boston?" asks Dave. Yes. Name any town in the nation and Dave will have some reference query. If someone is from Pennsylvania . . . . "Is that near Amish country?"
OK, here we go. David teases Yeager with a toy and then tosses it into the pool. Yeager gives chase and leaps a distance of 21 feet, 9 inches. It's not the distance David was hoping for but we are off to a good start.

ACT 3:
DOCK DIVING DOG #2: Corey, and owner Kathy Fardy. Corey is a field Labrador. After some tick talk, Dave wonders whether Kathy married into the name "Fardy." She says she was born into it.
After Kathy teases Corey with a squeeze toy, she throws it into the pool and Corey gives chase. Corey catches the toy in mid-flight and scores a leap of 24 feet, 7 inches.

BILL MAHER
He says out loud the jokes you whisper to your friends at a bar. Bill goes out on the road to do standup and Dave asks how your common Mr. and Mrs. Front Porch react to his humor. Ahh, two days in a row with a "Mr. Front Porch" reference. I liked it yesterday with Bruce Willis and I like it again. I haven't heard it used before but I think I'll adopt it. Bill is a minority owner of the New York Mets and went to the All-Star game "earlier" with his two pals, Michael Moore and Salman Rushdie. They made a pact not to talk politics. I make the same pact with my friends. It's been ongoing for 35 years now.
Bill will be performing at Ovation Hall in Atlantic City on July 27th and at Humphries in San Diego on August 4th. You can see his "Real Time with Bill Maher" on the HBO, Friday nights at 10:00 PM.

ACT 4:
DOCK DIVING DOG #3: Taz, with owner Mike Chiasson. Taz is a black Labrador. Mike gets Taz all excited and then tosses the squeeze toy into the pool. The throw was perfect, the timing was perfect, the jump was perfect. Taz leaps an amazing 30 feet, 6 inches. It is 6 inches under his career best. And it is a new Late Show Diving Dock Dog record! The old record was 29 feet, 11 inches, held by Baxter, a Belgian Malinois set on October 2, 2011.

Congratulations, Taz and Mike.

ACT 5:
We see some replays of the dog jumps.

ACT 6:
POPPY MONTGOMERY
She's on the CBS series, "Unforgettable." It was canceled, and then uncanceled. This caused a bit of a problem for Poppy because she had become pregnant during the canceled stage. Her character is a stunt-oriented gal and luckily they were able to shoot around her pregnancy. It sort of reminded me how they shot around the pregnancy of Bobbie Jo Bradley's when she and her sisters performed a song on "Petticoat Junction."
"Unforgettable" - the 2nd season returns on Sunday, July 28th at 9:00 PM on . . . . CBS!

ACT 7:
POKEY LAFARGE
Making his network television debut, Pokey LaFarge performed a very enjoyable "Central Time" from his album "Pokey LaFarge." It's an album I'll be giving a full listen. It was a fun country/bluegrass/folk/rockabilly song. I give it 3-and-a-half ears up.

And that was our show for Tuesday July 16, 2013.

I watched Tina Fey/Paul Rudd's "Admission" this weekend. I liked the first 7 minutes, and then the film got sidetracked.

I was expecting FOX to screw up the Mariano Rivera entrance in the All-Star game. Congratulations! They did a nice job, as did both teams. After Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" . . . is he done yet? . . . . Mariano made his entrance. FOX did not go to commercial. Mariano walked out of the bullpen, took a few steps across the warning track, and then jogged to the mound to the blaring of "Enter The Sandman" by Metallica, Mariano's entrance song. Here's something a bit surprising. I've been watching the Yankees forever. I've seen Mariano pitch hundreds of times. I've known he always enters to "Enter the Sandman" but this may have been the first time I've heard it and seen it. When he makes his entrance during a Yankee game, it's usually to start the 9th inning while the game is in commercial. Anyway, FOX stayed on Rivera and both teams stayed in their dugouts to let the Master have the stage by himself. The crowd gave the classic man a classic greeting and wonderful show of appreciation. I tend to think closers are over-rated, but this guy is the real deal and he's a call act. Next year when he's home in Panama with his feet up, the Yankees and Yankee fans will finally understand what the rest of baseball has had to live with for the past 20 years, a closer that is nothing very special. Closers come and go. The best remain at the top level for maybe 5 years. Mariano Rivera has put four of those outstanding "careers" back to back to back to back. And I like how he is going out. At each stadium he visits, he makes it a point to recognize and meet with the people behind the scenes . . . the ticket-takers, the vendors, the ushers, the beer guys. Twenty years in New York City and never a whiff of a scandal. Derek and Mariano; when they leave the Yankees, I think it may be time that I do, too.

The Baseball All-Star game. It used to be the best. Now that there is so much interleague play and free agency and players traded from league to league, it doesn't hold the majesty it once did. Plus, you get to see every player on the ESPN all year round. The specialness isn't as great anymore. My earliest recollection of the All-Star game was in 1964. I was 6. In the back of my mind, I can recall hearing about Johnny Callison hitting a game-winning homerun for the National League. My other All-Star memory is the game being rained out in Washington DC and had to be played the next day. Hometown favorite Frank Howard dropped a fly ball and was almost in tears afterwards. He made up for it later when he hit a home run. My guess is 1970. (it was 1969)
Other than that, most of my baseball All-Star memories growing up were of my trying to find it on the radio. It seems we were always on vacation that week, camping up and down the northeast. It would be a day or two before I found out who won.
Other memories: Harmon Killebrew overstretching for a throw at first base and crumbling down in pain after popping his hamstring.
And Atlee Hammacker (1983) and Reggie's home run in Detroit. (1971).

This Date in Wahoo Gazette Cameo Mention History:
July 16, 2002: From Sammamish, Washington, it's Teresa Atkinson.
This concludes another installment of This Date in Wahoo Gazette Cameo Mention History

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It's his birthday on the 17th, it's the lovable and affable Tom Ruprecht. Have a kamikaze on me, Tom!
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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