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Tuesday, August 27, 2013 Jabba: Tongue-dancing role model for Miley Cyrus?
Show #3895
Anderson Cooper, Olivia Munn, and Robert Randolph and The Family Band.
PLUS: New at the U.S. Open; Miley Cyrus's Influences; a Report from the VMAs with Bruce and Linda; and a Top Ten List with 10 Teamsters from Local 817.

" . . . and now, contagious but treatable . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE
- "Donald Trump is being sued by the New York Attorney General for running a phony 'Trump University.' One sign that you may not be attending an accredited college when your commencement speaker is Whitey Bulger."
- "Students were told they'd meet Donald Trump, but only got to pose with a cardboard cutout. I've met Donald Trump. You'd rather pose with the cutout."

Have you been watching the U.S. Open. You haven't if you have Time Warner Cable, but that's another story. Everything is a big sell these days; everything is attached to a sponsor. If you listened to some of the matches, you would know what I'm talking about.
We see a clip from a match earlier today. Whenever the player hits the ball, we hear the familiar tennis "grunt" of exertion. But instead of the usual "Uggghhhhh," the players now grunt out "Nike" and "Adidas" and "Wendy's" and "McDonalds."
It's all business.

Have you gotten over the Miley Cyrus and the VMAs? We haven't. A new word has been brought into the mainstream: twerking. I'm glad I'm not quite mainstream because I'm not sure what 'twerking' is and I don't think I want to. Ms. Miley also danced with a swagging tongue Sunday night; licking and smacking and waving it around. Where did she come up with that? We think we might have figured it out. We take a look at "Miley Cyrus's Influences."
We see Miley dancing and twerking and working her tongue.
We then see Jabba the Hutt waving his tongue.
ANNOUNCE: "Tongue-dancing pioneer Jabba the Hutt."
ART CARD: "MILEY CYRUS'S INFLUENCES"

ACT 2:
The MTV Video Music Awards were Sunday night and we sent our best to cover the frenzied evening aimed at young impressionable teens. We take a look at the report filed from "Weekend Late Show" and "Showbiz Weekend" co-hosts Bruce and Linda.
What we learned:
The VMAs are referred to by many as the "Veemas."
Bruce is a big fan of Roger Whitaker.
References: Dick Van Dyke's car fire; Labor Day sales; applying for a VMA; and a possible Christmas album.
Bruce and Linda didn't have tickets for inside the Barclays Center.
And that was it.
Dave sighs and mutters, "That was nothing." Paul concurs.

TOP TEN: THINGS NEVER BEFORE SAID BY A TEAMSTER - In honor of Labor Day, we invited ten teamster from Local 817 to present tonight's Top Ten list. Taking part:
Tommy Delellis
Cindy Tolan
Tom Miele
Bear Schmidt
Ryan Bentley
Kenny Gaskins
Gayle Keller
Eric Klein
Vinny Delellis.

Now when they Google their name, I'll get a hit!

ACT 3:
ANDERSON COOPER
Anderson is a bit sore. He threw out his back twerking with the Teamsters.
Dave wonders if there is anything to be optimistic about. The news is just so grim these days. What's the deal with Syria? This whole Syrian mess started about 2 years ago when some kids graffiti'd a wall. They were then arrested, which is not a good thing in Syria. When parents objected, everything grew from there. Basically, the Syrian government is a bunch of thugs. And they used chemical weapons on their own people, which they deny. "It wasn't us!" There is so much squabbling and so many teams in play, it's hard to know who is in charge and who is calling the shots and who plays for what team. And now the U.S. will have to respond. Oy gevalt. Dave wonders what our men and women in the military are doing overseas in Afghanistan. Is it futile? What do we hope to achieve? Not enough people here in the States are paying attention to their efforts and sacrifices.

Yup. And that's why we need a return of the draft. My kids aren't about to join the military, so my concern isn't piqued about what might happen or what is happening over there. And my neighbors' kids aren't about to join. But if there were a draft where everybody's kids were in line to put on the fatigues and pick up a gun, with guns also aimed at them, then I would be deeply interested in what's happening over there. We wouldn't have to be reminded that we are at war. We would be more willing to sacrifice here at home, and we would be banging on the doors of our politicians to finish the thing and get out. Americans would be more involved. End war! Bring back the draft!

Anderson Cooper - you can see him on the CNN weeknights on the "Anderson Cooper 360." And come September, look for the new "AC 360 Later" for the nightly recap of the day's events.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "It's another good one tomorrow as Dave welcomes Medal of Honor recipient Staff Sgt. Ty Michael Carter, Hayden Panettiere, and In The Valley Below. Stay with us for warning signs that a senior citizen has joined a gang."

ACT 6:
OLIVIA MUNN
She's from HBO's "The Newsroom." If I had the HBO, I'd watch it! The success of "The Newsroom" has opened a lot of doors for Olivia. She recently found herself sitting in the front row of a Michael Kors fashion show. (I'm guessing that's a big deal.) She was sitting between Catherine Zeta Jones and Marisa Tomei. Olivia admits she felt out of place, feeling as if she won a radio contest or something. She was desperate to fit in so she decided to do exactly what Catherine Zeta Jones did. We see three photos of Olivia sitting next to CZJ. When CZJ clapped, Olivia clapped. When CZJ crossed her legs, so did Olivia. When CZJ looked left, Olivia looked left. Don't let Catherine Zeta Jones fool you, Olivia. From the photos, it looked as if Catherine was copying whatever you were doing.
Olivia had a bit of a mishap recently. She was visiting her boyfriend who was working in Prague. In the apartment he was staying, there was a swing inside the place. Obviously, when there is a swing inside someone's house, you have to give it a shot. Olivia jumped on the swing while her boyfriend pushed. And she has footage of this fun. Unfortunately, the results were unfortunate. During the swinging, the swing snapped and Olivia crashed to the floor. She dislocated her shoulder from the fall. Luckily, she found it. She still feels the pain up and down her body weeks later. Hello, Ridiculousness. Or Tosh.O. Or AFV.

"The Newsroom" - Sunday nights on HBO at 10:00 PM. Better hurry. This season has only two episodes left. It's been renewed for a third.

ACT 7:
ROBERT RANDOLPH AND THE FAMILY BAND
From their most recent album, "Lickety Split," the rocking and energetic band from New Jersey performed a rousing "Born Again."

And that was our show for Tuesday August 27, 2013.

The International Brotherhood of Teamsters - Founded in 1903.
Consists of 1.4 million members.
1 in 10 union members are Teamsters.
Teamster President: Jimmy Hoffa Jr.

I was watching something last night. . . . . Maddow maybe . . . . and the front page of the New York Times from 50 years ago was shown. Headlined was the March on Washington lead by Martin Luther King. But I'm a background watcher. When my attention is directed to front and center, I'm looking to the side and back. "U.S. Presses U.N. To Condemn Syria On Israeli Deaths"
Sigh. C'mon, Syria.

I have a record album of the great speeches of Martin Luther King. I haven't listened to it in a while. I think I will tonight. I heard some excerpts on the radio today of his August 28, 1963 speech in Washington. So darn inspiring. Where are these men and women today? We have such small thinkers these days. Who will we look back on in 50 years and say, "Wow, in 2013, XXXXXX was an incredibly inspiring speaker!" Instead we have a twerking Miley Cyrus.

The family and I took a Mediterranean cruise last week aboard the Carnival Sunshine. It was a heavy bill but we figured that since Denise and I will be celebrating our 25th in September, and the girls will be celebrating their 18th b'day in November, and next year we lose the girls forever in college, why not take a vacation we could barely afford. The Carnival ship was fine; all was good. And then late in the week, I visited the ship's ATM. I put in my card and took out $200. And the ATM fee was $6. Yikes. That really steamed me up. Who's fault is the $6? It's Carnival, right? I spent thousands to go on this cruise, but it's the $6 ATM fee that will stick with me for a long long time. And the next time Denise and I decide to book a cruise, I'll remember that 6 dollars. I'm sure a lot of men like me on the ship will remember that, too. Is it really worth it for Carnival Cruise to charge $6, to make a little free money like that, and jeopardize a 2nd cruise visit by a disgusted voyager? I'm not sure. Just for that $6, I'll be sure to entertain other cruise lines before finalizing my next booking.
And when I'm on a new cruise line, I'm sure I'll be disgusted with them when they too charge $6 at the ATM.

Looking for something to read besides the Wahoo Gazette? Check out "THIS WOULD DRIVE HIM CRAZY: A PHONY ORAL HISTORY OF J.D. SALINGER" by former Late Show writer Tom Ruprecht. It's only $1.99 on the Kindle. (Just a reminder: The Wahoo Gazette remains free)
Look for it on the Amazon and the Internets.

And now it's time for "This Date in Cameo Mention of a Wahoo Reader History"
From August 27, 2001: Frequent Wahoo contributor, Dave Sikula.
This concludes another installment of "This Date in Cameo Mention of a Wahoo Reader History"

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It's the Flop! Turning 55 last weekend and still banging the drums, it's Ramapo High School (NY) alum Phil Levine.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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