Medal of Honor Recipient Staff Sergeant Ty Michael Carter, Hayden Panettiere, and In The Valley Below.
PLUS: tennis grunts; Trump University; and a ferry fender-bender in the harbor.
" . . . and now, the magically delicious . . . . . . . David Letterman!"
-"The United States government says a conflict in Syria would last no more than two days . . . . which is code for ‘a decade.'"
-"A ferry carrying visitors to the Statue of Liberty crashed into the island yesterday. They say the captain failed to heed warnings of large statues in the area."
The U.S. Open is underway and is being enjoyed by millions who do not subscribe to Time Warner Cable. For the real hard core tennis fans, they can always tune in and just follow the grunts. Over a black screen with "Just The Grunts" chyron, we hear the grunts of the players as they forehand and back.
The New York State Attorney General is suing Donald Trump for running a bogus and phone "Trump University." The claim is Mr. Trump is taking money from students without preparing them for success. Trump University has taken issue with this and rebuts the claim in this announcement.
ANNOUNCE: "The New York State Attorney General has called Trump University a fraud, claiming it failed to deliver on promises to make students rich. We here at Trump University take offense at these accusations, and can prove that many have found success . . . like Trump University graduate Eric Trump, who bought a yacht after making his first million; Ivanka Trump, who created her own successful line of shoes, jewelry and handbags; and Donald Trump Jr., who is one of the stars of the wildly popular television show, ‘The Apprentice.'
Trump University: 'We Make Millionaires.'"
If I ruled the world, I would have slightly altered the tagline at the end, to:
"TRUMP UNIVERSITY – We Make Millionaires Out Of Billionaires."
The ferry accident earlier today at the Statue of Liberty Island resulted in no major injuries, thank goodness. There was only one minor injury. We take a look.
We see Ms. Liberty in a neck brace.
STAFF SERGEANT TY MICHAEL CARTER
The American enters to a standing ovation.
Dave asks Staff Sgt. Carter how he learned he was to receive the Medal of Honor. The staff sergeant says he first received a "warning call." He was asked some questions to verify his identity. He was told that he would be receiving a phone call from a very high military official. Would he be available to take this call? Staff Sgt. Carter said, "No." He wouldn't be available. He would be on vacation with his family. After some more discussion, Carter offered to stop someplace between Oregon and Northern California at the designated time of the call and look for a place that got reception on his phone. That worked for both sides. Carter had inkling what this may be about but he's learned in the military that nothing happens until it happens. So off Carter and his wife go on vacation. They stop at a gas station and are told by the attendant that they couldn't park there. They look for another place where they could get a signal. Meanwhile, his wife is out front of the camper feeding the baby. The other kids were fighting typical children fights . . . . "You touched me!" . . . . and the dog was making dog noise. All Carter wanted was a few minutes of quiet so he can hear what the phone call was about. He gets the call and is asked, "Would you accept this phone call from the President of the United States." (What? The President was calling collect? This country is in more financial trouble than I thought!) Carter says the President got on the phone and sounded just like he sounds on TV. The President thanked Carter for his service and that he approved the Medal of Honor. Then they chatted about Carter's family and that the President looked forward to meeting them in Washington D.C. And that was it. Carter then told his wife that he just spoke on the phone with the President and that he was being awarded the Medal of Honor. You can imagine the thrill. He and his wife called family and friends to share the story, making them promise not to tell anyone. What a moment. Dave says if it was he, he would have gone back to the gas station attendant and say, "Oh, by the way, we can park here."
Dave has Staff Sgt. Carter tell of how he arrived in the Army. Carter was first a Marine. After fulfilling his obligation, he came home and did odd jobs here and there. But something was missing. He was at a loss. He needed to do something. He signed up for the Army, which offered stability and structure and a dependable income. He says a soldier's main focus is the mission at hand. They really don't spend much time, or have much time, to consider the dangers. It is the family at home who sits alone, worry, hoping that dreaded phone call or knock on the door ever comes. It is they who have the worry.
Staff Sgt. Carter then describes what happened on that day, October 3, 2009 at Camp Outpost Keating in Afghanistan. The Outpost was under constant observation and under constant fire. The full body armor was heavy and hot, but you wanted to wear it and you wore it everywhere you went in Outpost Keating. He admits to being unsure of the mission there but it turned into a mission of survival. Each morning pretty much started with a firefight. You sort of get used to it, but then Carter changes it to describing it as expecting it. You come to expect the firefight. On this day, instead of the fight lasting minutes or an hour, it lasted all day, 12 hours, from 7A to 7P. Carter describes the longest day in gripping detail.
Dave then has Carter describe the Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder (PTSD). He says the hardest part is recognizing you have PTSD. You see the symptoms, but you think it's something else. Others noticed and got him the help he needed. Once you realize you have it and once you start talking about it and sharing it with others, you slowly begin the road back. Today, Carter places a high priority on helping those with PTSD and educating others about it and to help the Army better understand this.
Staff Sergeant Ty Michael Carter – thank you.
Into commercial, we see the names of those killed in the October 3, 2009 attack on Combat Outpost Keating:
Staff Sgt. Vernon W. Martin of Savannah, Georgia – 25 years old.
Staff Sgt. Justin T. Gallegos of Tucson, Arizona – 27 years old.
Sgt. Joshua M. Hardt of Applegate, California – 24 years old.
Sgt. Michael P. Scusa of Villas, New Jersey – 22 years old.
Spc. Christopher T. Griffin of Kincheloe, Michigan – 24 years old.
Spc. Stephan L. Mace of Lovettsville, Virginia – 21 years old.
Pfc. Kevin C. Thomson of Reno, Nevada – 22 years old.
HAYDEN PANETTIERE (panna-tee-AIR)
Haden is wearing a happy, summery dress. Dave says, "You look like summer vacation." She laughs, agrees, and adds she looks like a stained glass.
Hayden stars in the popular ABC series, "Nashville" and she is dating Wladimir Klitschko, a professional heavyweight boxer. She's 5'1". He's 6'6" and weighs 215 pounds. She's learned that it is not a very good idea to go jet-skiing with someone that size. She was in front, Wladimir on back. The jet-ski stood up on its hind legs and off they went. All she could see was the sky. We see a photo of Hayden and Wlad. The size difference is quite.
On the "Nashville," Hayden plays the new, country-singing, young, sexy Dolly Parton-ish flavor of the day who is pitted against the older established country crooner who is hoping to keep her career alive.
"Nashville" – the 2nd season premieres September 25th at 10 PM on the ABC.
ANNOUNCE: It's top-notch television tomorrow as Dave welcomes Bill Murray and Lenny Kravitz and Gladys Knight."
SFX: phone ringing.
ANNOUNCE: That's the Pope.
SFX: PHONE KEEPS RINGING
ANNOUNCE: I can't deal with him right now
Phone continues to ring.
IN THE VALLEY BELOW: Making their network television debut, from their EP, "Peaches," In The Valley Below performed "Peaches."
ACT 7: GOOD NIGHT
And that was our show for Wednesday, August 28, 2013
The Medal of Honor is awarded to a person who, while serving as a member of the Armed Forces, distinguishes himself or herself "for conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of life, above and beyond the call of duty, in action involving actual conflict with an opposing armed force."
Staff Sgt. Ty Michael Carter . . . this is what I will remember most about his interview. When he tells his wife that he just spoke to the President . . . . he says, "That was the President of the United States, and we're getting the Medal of Honor." Did you get that? He said "WE'RE getting the Medal of Honor." WE! WE are getting the Medal of Honor. Whatta guy.
I'm working on a monologue joke about a band. Before getting into it, Dave will ask "Anyone here ever in a band?" After a smattering of applause from the audience, Dave will then look over to the CBS orchestra. The horn section will not have their hand raised.
My 17-yr-old twin daughters grew up watching Miley Cyrus and Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. The only good role model from their early TV days is SpongeBob
I went to K-Mart this weekend to buy myself some non-plaid short-sleeved button shirts. Couldn't do it. Everything is plaid? Who made plaid so popular?
I like watching the "Jeopardy." I've been watching since the days of Art Fleming. I really like it when I get some answers/questions during Double Jeopardy. But a new angle I'm enjoying is the Final Jeopardy wagering. For some really smart people, their final wagers can be really stupid. Last week I saw all three contestants miss the Final and end up with $0. Granted, they were just teens but I've seen adults not use common sense when it comes to their final wager.
Person A has $18,000
Person B has $11,000
Person C has a mere $1,400.
How much should each contestant wager in the Final?
-Person A (18K) has to defend against Person B (11K). If Person B bets it all and gets it right, he will end up with 22K. Therefore, the leader with 18K has to bet enough to cover the 22K, meaning Person A should only bet $4,001.
-Person B can only win if Person A gets the Final Jeopardy question wrong. Knowing Person A has to bet at least $4,001, Person B should only bet enough to cover $13,999 (18k minus 4,001). Person B should only bet $3,000.
-Person C (1.4K) can only win if both A and B get it wrong. Hopefully, A and B bet everything. If C were closer to B, then B would have to wager enough to cover C if C bet everything.
There is some more mathematical figuring involved but you get the idea. Betting everything in Final Jeopardy is usually not a good idea. Instead of the contestants spending hours and hours reading trivia books leading up to their appearance, they should spend an hour figuring the best wager they should make in Final Jeopardy depending on how much they have and how much the others have.
During the commercial break leading up to Final Jeopardy, I like to guess the Final Jeopardy answer/question simply from learning the category. And then I liked to figure out how much each contestant should wager. My wife finds this all very annoying.
And now it's time for "This Date in Cameo Mention of a Wahoo Reader History"
8/23/03 – 10 YEARS AGO TODAY - From the Garden State of New Jersey, it's Shirlee DiBacco, known to Rupert Jee customers as the "Foxyscribe
This concludes another installment of "This Date in Cameo Mention of a Wahoo Reader History"
Be sure to watch Thursday's 20th anniversary show. Bill Murray rips up the place! And stay till the end for a montage of Late Show shots over the years. I'd hate to be Dave Yoder who will probably try to list them all.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Kansas City, it's the ever-affable Brian Hall.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee