CBS

Search By Date
M T W Th F
Friday, September 13, 2013 Vladimir Putin goes from the NY TImes to the kitchen.
Show #3906
Dr. Phil, and Tom Dreesen.
PLUS: Vlad on Good Housekeeping; The Presidents' Gatekeepers; Graham Fenwick-Jones; and a Top Ten list.

" . . . . and now, along with his whole posse . . . . . . David Letterman.

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE

-"The Miss America Pageant is this weekend. To increase ratings, they changed the name of the pageant to ‘America's Got Implants.'"

Discovery aired a 2-part special featuring former Presidential Chiefs of Staff. It had some fascinating behind-the-scene details. We take a look at a clip from "The Presidents' Gatekeepers."
We see two former Chiefs of Staff offering a little known fact about their time with the President.
And then we see GWBush's Chief of Staff: "If W made it all the way through a CIA briefing, we'd give him a gumball."

Everyone is talking about Vladimir Putin's Op-Ed piece in the New York Times today. But this isn't the first time he's done something like this.
Did you see the cover of last month's Good Housekeeping? We take a look. Yup, it's Vladimir Putin on the cover holding a bowl of potato salad. It's his Putin Rootin' Tootin Potato Salad.

And now, another scene from Discovery's "The Presidents' Gatekeepers." We see two former Chiefs of Staff offering a little known fact about their time with the President.
And then we see Gerald Ford's Chief of Staff: "President Ford and I spent hours in the Oval Office brushing each other's hair."

ACT 2:
Good luck? Getting played? Bad in the long run? Who knows, but it looks like we may not be going to war against Syria. First, the President was going to put it to a vote. When he saw that the vote may not go the way he wanted, he backed off from a vote. And then when Putin came in and offered an out, it looks like the "red line" could be erased. No war. Does it make America look weak? But if it keeps us out of war, who cares if it makes us look weak. The question isn't if the move makes us look week; the real question is does it MAKE us weak. I don't much care how it makes us look. But what do I know? That's why I'm glad we had CBS Chief Foreign Correspondent Graham Fenwick-Jones to tell us what to think about Putin.
Via a split-screen, Dave welcomes the foreign correspondent who is in London. DAVE: "Thanks for joining us, Graham. How are people reacting to what Putin wrote in the New York Times?"
GRAHAM: "Dave, every bloke from Biggleswade to Scunthorpe has been fluttering the dovecoats about Putin throwing a wobbly. Before this, everything seemed quids-in and sound as a pound, but now he's over-egged the pudding, gone hairy at the heel, and turned a bloody stonker into sod-all."
DAVE: "What do you think was Putin's motiviation behind writing the piece?"
GRAHAM: "Well, everyone was keen as mustard, until that scatty skiver got out of his pram and off his trolley. But it's all mouth and trousers, a right damp squib. And once it goes pear-shaped, well, everything will be black as Newgate's knocker."
DAVE: "Is it unusual for a sitting world leader to write a New York Times op-ed piece?"
GRAHAM: "Well, Dave, if the man I know chivvies along and gives it some welly, he can still grasp the nettle and win back the man on the Claphman omnibus. But it's plain as a pikestaff that if he goes off his chump and faffs about with all the cobblers and codswollop, he'll be gone for a burton and end up Nobby No-Mates."
DAVE: "As CBS's Chief Foreign Correspondent, you must have met Putin. What's he like?"
GRAHAM: "He's a big girl's blouse."
DAVE: "Thank you, Graham. It's always good to talk to you."
GRAHAM: (mumbles something)

That's exactly what I thought.

TOP TEN: LEAST POPULAR GAME SHOWS – the new NBC game show, "Million Second Quiz" hosted by Ryan Seacrest, did not do as well as hoped in its two-night debut this week.

LEAST POPULAR GAME SHOWS
10. "Let's Make A Deal with The Syrians"
8. "Where In The World is Edward Snowden?"
6. "Don't Take Canal Street"
ACT 3:
DR. PHIL

12 years! Dr. Phil has been doing his show for 12 years. I remember the excitement of his first visit to the Late Show after weeks of Dave's poking fun at the man who is too tall for his hair. But Dr. Phil came on with a smile that day and punched back at Dave's jabs. There is nothing Dave likes more than a well-placed, well-timed counter punch to one of his jabs. Dr. Phil knows how to play and he plays it well, making him a fun and frequent guest. Dave heard a great story about Dr. Phil which he has Phil repeat.
Dr. Phil says he was at a restaurant or a hotel waiting for his wife who was in the restroom. While he waited, three women came up to him all excited. They squealed being in the presence of a celebrity. They gushed, the fawned, they wanted pictures. The women were oh so excited to meet . . . . . . Dabney Coleman. We see a recent photo of the Dabs, and yes, Dabney Coleman does indeed look a bit like Dr. Phil.
(big fan of Dabney Coleman here – loved the Buffalo Bill; loved the Slap Maxwell)

Dave likes to bring this up whenever Dr. Phil is on. Dr. Phil played some football in college, especially that game against Houston. Phil McGraw played for Tulsa. On this day against Houston, they did not bring their "A" game and lost 100-6. When this came up tonight, I ran back to the shack and had Alex at the computer look up the Houston/Tulsa game. He printed out a short paragraph about the game and brought it out on stage to the producer and let him decide what he wanted to do with it. He gave it to Dave during the break and Dave then read it when we came back.
"On November 23, 1968, the University of Houston defeated the University of Tulsa 100-6. Though they had a 24-0 advantage at the half, the Cougars scored 11 touchdowns in the second half for an astounding 94-point blowout." Dave enjoyed reading that just a bit too much. Dr. Phil alibied that the team was going through a terrible bout of the Hong Kong flu and most of the team couldn't make the trip to Houston. Their quarterback hadn't played the position since the 7th grade. While looking for more info on the game, I came across a story that mentioned the "flu-plagued" Tulsa team. And I do remember the fear of the Hong Kong flu that gripped the country when I was a mere lad of ten.

Running back and forth from the computer in the shack out to the stage left me little to hear from the show. What I did catch was talk about Miley Cyrus. Dave wonders about the harm of the young, specifically girls, who grew up watching and admiring Ms. Miley who is now doing what she is doing. The wise Dr. Phil sagely responds, "If the major influence on your child's upbringing in Miley Cyrus, you've got bigger problems than ‘Holly' Montana."

Dr. Phil – gives as good as he takes. Good guest.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "We'll see you again Monday for Dave and his guests Louis C.K., humanitarian and activist Hugh Evans, and John Legend. When we come back, our experts appraise items found in viewers' vacuum cleaner bags."

ACT 6:
TOM DREESEN

Who knew? 38 years ago Tom Dreesen was on the Dean Martin Roast roasting somebody. Dreesen was telling a story of growing up on the mean streets of Chicago. He mentioned some strange words he learned back then, such as "Ahmo" . . . . as in "Ahmo kick your ass." Little did he know that at the time in a small town in Texas, a high school football coach was watching. His team was about to face the best team in the area. The #1 team averaged 50 points a game. The coach was searching for something to motivate his team. That week, the coach introduced the word "Ahmo" to his team. When they broke the huddle, they'd clap and yell, "Ahmo!" as in "Ahmo kick your ass." Well, they beat the best team that week and a legend was born. 38 years later and "Ahmo" has become huge . . . HUGE in capital letters. It's all over Wylie, Texas and the Wylie Pirates High School. Has been for 38 years. We see a recent clip of the coach telling how the AHMO chant originated. The old coach tells of watching the Dean Martin Roast and hearing Tom Dreesen's story. And after all this time, Tom finally learned of how it came to be; how his simple joke inspired a school for decades. We see another clip of the Wylie High School team taking the field before a game. Across the front of their jerseys reads, "AHMO". That's pretty cool.

Will you be in in Park Forest, Illinois next week? If so, you can catch Tom Dreesen in his one-man show "An Evening of Laughter and Stories of Sinatra" at Freedom Hall.

And that was our show for Friday, September 13, 2013.

I don't play the Fantasy Football, but I watched some games yesterday with two guys who do. We really watch the games differently; those who play the Fantasy and those who don't. While I'm watching the game, they're more interested in the scroll rolling across the bottom of the screen. Here's how much I know about NFL football these day . . . . my nephew plays the fantasy football.
Last week he had his draft. He had the second pick overall and chose Arian Foster. I asked, "Who?" One of the best running backs in the league and I never heard of him.
I used to do the baseball fantasy years ago. I would know who the backup 2nd baseman was for the San Diego Padres and how he was doing . . . but have no idea how the San Diego Padres were doing. They could have been in first place, or last. I wouldn't know.

Just who is this Graham Fenwick-Jones? Why, he's Richard Fields from "All My Children"

Next week's previously viewed programs:
MONDAY: From 8/20/13; #3891 – Louis C.K., Hugh Evans, and John Legend.
TUESDAY: From 8/29/13; #3897 – Bill Murray, and Lenny Kravitz and Gladys Knight. It's our anniversary show.
WEDNESDAY: From 7/30/13; #3887 – Bryan Cranston, Amanda Seyfried, and Michael Franti & Spearhead. Plus: A Day In The Life of A New York Post Headline Writer
THURSDAY: From 8/21/13 – Tina Fey, and Valerie June. Plus: Paul Shaffer's outburst leading in to College Freshman Tips
FRIDAY: From 9/10/03; #3903 – Billy Crystal, and Sheryl Crow. Plus: White House janitor bumps the button

Check the Wahoo archives and make your plans according.

Time for This Date in Cameo Mention of a Wahoo Reader History
9/1300 Jim Garrett. Thanks Jim for letting me know who Ed Gelb is. And for letting me know the difference between mommy and momy.
This concludes another installment of This Date In CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER History

Picks of the Week:
New Orleans Saints (3-point favorite) big over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Baltimore Ravens (6.5 point favorite) over the Cleveland Browns
Cowboys and Indians . . . I'm going with the Kansas City Chiefs over Big D Dallas. KC is a 3-point favorite at home.
Don't bet and save your money.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Beardog Productions, it's John Tully
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

Wahoo Gazette Archive

Saturday, November 22
I'm not a tailor and I didn't play one on TV.
Thursday, November 20
Dave approves a family of actors to attend Thanksgiving in his stead.
Wednesday, November 19
Dave and Regis turn to their friend Peter Lassally for conversation.
Wednesday, November 19
Dally and Spanky take a shortcut during Stupid Pet Tricks.
Monday, November 17
Who's whiter: Dave or Jason Sudeikis?