Taylor Swift, and Tom Mison.
PLUS: What you can get from bowling, the three-second joke; a new movie about a board game; Know Your Late Show Staffers; a Top Ten List; and HGTV Roundup.
" . . . and now, the Houdini of the hardwood . . . . . . . . . David Letterman!"
For my notes; not sure why ... at the top of the show, Dave delivered a two-handed kiss to the audience and to you, the home viewer.
- "Barbara Walters is back out of retirement for her annual Fascinating People deals. She's retired from retirement. Says she wanted to spend less time with her dogs, Raymour and Flanigan."
- "Dunkin' Donuts is selling a half donut/half croissant. The hardest part was getting them to mate."
- "The midterm elections are a week away. Can you feel the indifference?"
The doctor who has ebola is now in isolation in a New York hospital, but some are concerned about his visit to a Brooklyn bowling alley. Dave saw this odd announcement.
ANNOUNCE: "While the New York City ebola patient did visit a local bowling alley shortly before exhibiting symptoms, rest assured that you cannot catch ebola from any of America's bowling alleys; however, you can still catch influenza, toxoplasmosis, meningitis, Rocky Mountain spotted fever, hantavarus, rheumatic fever, whooping cough, athlete's foot, hepatitis A through E, and hookworm. Bowling. Fun for the whole family."
In a hurry? Well, we got just the thing. In rapid fire, it's the "3-Second Joke."
ART CARD: THREE-SECOND JOKE
ANNOUNCE: "Quarantined nurse released. Tent returned to Chris Christie's pants drawer."
DING! Yup, 3 seconds.
ANNOUNCE: "The 'Three-Second Joke' is a production of Fatco, a Sony Pictures Entertainment Company."
You like the Ouija board? Well, somehow that board game has been made into a movie. And it's the Number One movie at the box office. Naturally, that success breeds imitation. Have you seen this?
ANNOUNCE: "Audiences are lining up to see Ouija, the terrifying story of a board game contacting the afterlife. But this year's most shocking, pulse-pounding film based on a board game is yet to come. Get ready for 'Sorry! The Movie.'"
Cut to the whimpering and sniveling and sniffling Donald Sterling: I'm so sorry, and so apologetic, and I'm apologizing, and I'm asking for forgiveness. I made a mistake. I hope it's in their heart to forgive me for that mistake."
ANNOUNCE: "'Sorry! The Movie.' In theaters, Christmas day."
Look at that Donald Sterling . . and he owns things! He runs things! He's the boss of people! People have to listen to him! And follows his orders! Oy!
During the commercial break, Paul and the band played "White Room," in honor of the passing of Cream's bass player, Jack Bruce.
Like Paul's jacket? It's made of real gold! People in Paul's business refer to it as "bling!"
We have many wonderful people on the Late Show staff and it's a shame that you can't get to know every last member of the Late Show family. Tonight, we introduce one of them in a segment called, "Know Your Late Show Staffers."
We see photos of longtime Late Night/Late Show staffer Kathy Mavrikakis while Dave's offers a brief bio.
DAVE: "Tonight's staffer is one of our favorites . . . . and we love them all . . . . is Kathy Mavrikakis. Kathy is a supervising producer at the program and has been with us for 29 years. Kathy has a husband and two beautiful daughters. She lives on Long Island. She is originally from Reno, Nevada, and she relocated to New York after witnessing a murder and testifying against the local organized crime kingpins. Kathy's real name is Gwen Phillips. So thank you, Kathy, or Gwen, for all your years of service. We couldn't do it without you.
And that's how we play 'Know Your Late Show Staffers,' ladies and gentlemen."
TOP TEN - again sponsored by the wonderful makers of M&Ms. Whereas Vern from "Stand By Me" once said "If I could only have one food for the rest of my life? That's easy-Pez. Cherry-flavored Pez. No question about it," Dave's lifelong favorite, as is mine, is M&Ms.
TOP TEN: OTHER THINGS "JEB" COULD STAND FOR
Did you know JEB is an acronym for his given name, John Ellis Bush.
10. Jackass's Embarrassed Brother
9. Jovial Exxon Buddy
8. Jurisdiction: Elderly Beachgoers
7. Junked Electoral Ballots
6. (Joke Entry Blank)
5. Jiggly, Empty Buffoon
4. Just Entirely Blah
3. Jurassic-Era Beliefs
2. Jets: Extremely Bad
1. Jeez - Enough Bushes
She's sold over 30 million albums and her new album is entitled, "1989." Dave is a bit bummed that the album is named for the year she was born. 1989 . . . it's like, what, the day before yesterday?
Taylor is now a New Yorker, moving here from Nashville where she's been for the past ten years. Taylor was born in Wyomissing, Pennsylvania, about 45 miles from Villanova. (My daughter goes to Villanova. Wyomissing is in the other direction.) Taylor loves living in New York City and can't believe it every time she wakes up in the morning. Taylor admits to being an obnoxious enthusiast about the City.
(New York City is an expensive place to live. I lived on the upper east side in the 80s for a couple years. Just going out for a walk around the block results in you having $7 less in your wallet. You don't even have to stop anywhere, but somehow you have $7 less.)
Taylor has become BFFs with actress Lena Dunham. Taylor spied in on her Facebook page and saw that Lena had quoted some of her song lyrics. Taylor was afraid that Lena was mocking her but soon found out that she was a big fan. They texted back and forth and the rest is history.
Taylor has a very close relationship with her fans. She actually invited some to her house. (Oh, boy. Uhh, Taylor, you're not in Nashville anymore.) She's done this a handful of times and has had up to 89 fans at once. Dave is more than a bit surprised by this, but is most concerned with, " . . . and how to you get them out of there?" That would be my concern, too. I actually have developed the habit of saying at the end of every party, "I'm glad they finally left."
Stick around. Taylor will be back to sing a song from her new album.
Do you guys like the HGTV? Dave enjoys sitting back and watching others do work on the Home and Garden channel. He's brought along tonight a highlight reel of HGTV. He calls it "HGTV Roundup." We take a look.
ART CARD: HGTV ROUNDUP
We see a montage of their many house-hunting, house-repair, house-flipping shows. In each shot we see a couple entering a room and exclaiming, "Wow!" . . . except for the last one who mutters a "yeeech."
ART CARD: HGTV ROUNDUP
ANNOUNCE: "Hope to see you tomorrow when Dave welcomes Jim Carrey, and David Tennant. When we come back, a shattering revelation that will change the lives of the Admiral, Betty Lou, and the twins!"
TOM MISON (Mison, like "of Mice and Men")
The British Tom stars in the new FOX program, "Sleepy Hollow." The show is filmed not in Sleepy Hollow, New York, but in Wilmington, North Carolina. He's heard lots about New York and Los Angeles but was unfamiliar with everything in between. He's excited to have a porch around his house and is more than a bit shocked at how nice everyone is. People actually smile and wave to him as he sits in his rocker on the porch. It's nice, but unnerving.
"Sleepy Hollow" is a take on the classic story by Washington Irving. Tom plays an Ichabod Crane who was a spy for George Washington during the Revolutionary War. He beheads a Hessian Horseman. Both Ichabod and the horseman come back to life two centuries later. The Headless Horseman is still not happy with Ichabod and is out to get him. Ichabod teams up with a female police officer to defend against, and find, the Headless Horseman. I imagine he'd be easier to find than a fugitive with one arm. I can't see them finding the wrong headless guy.
Tom admits to getting a bit homesick every now and then, but gets over it by watching old episodes of an English cooking show, "The Great British Bake Off." He calls it one of the most delightful viewing. How Tom describes the show reminds Dave of a cooking show involving two heavy woman riding around on motorcycles picking up lambs and sheep to cook. It was called, "Two Fat Ladies."
From the WIKI: Two Fat Ladies was a BBC Two television cooking programme starring Clarissa Dickson Wright and Jennifer Paterson. It originally ran for four series, from 1996 to 1999.
Dave probably saw this on the HGTV.
"Sleepy Hollow" - on the FOX, Mondays at 9:00 PM.
From her new album, "1989," Ms. Swift performed "Welcome To New York."
I'm not sure but it may have been written about the old Worldwide Pants show starring Jim Gaffigan. You know how Taylor is about her ex-boyfriends.
And that was our show for Tuesday October 28, 2014.
Tom Mison of "Sleepy Hollow" . . . . . I went to the town of Sleepy Hollow last weekend with Denise and friends. The town puts on a good haunted village they call "The Haunted Hollow" which people travel for miles to visit. The town makes a nice bit of coin on the exhibition. Naturally, any outing will conclude with drinks, and this night was no different as we partook to some ale at Horsefeathers. I was very impressed with the haunted village at Sleepy Hollow, but it still doesn't measure up to the cheaply crafted haunted house usually put on by any local firehouse. I like it when a volunteer fireman jumps out from behind a curtain with a flashlight under his chin. I try to determine if it's beer or gin I smell on his breath.
New Halloween Costumes this Friday on the Late Show. Any guesses? I see we have 12 in the works right now.
And now, my annual Halloween Costume Story.
AND NOW, A HALLOWEEN MEMORY: reprinted with my permission from the October 31, 1997 Wahoo Gazette.
An early Halloween memory: I was six years old. I was a ghost. My mother cut a hole in a white sheet to put my head through. She then cut eye holes in a pillow case for my head. She made it a two-piece ghost outfit (sheet and pillow case vs. just a sheet) so I could just take off the top pillow case if I wanted air or to cool off or if I wanted something to eat. If it was only one piece (just a sheet), I would have to take off the whole costume. This was smart. Mom cut eyeholes in the pillowcase for me to see. Unfortunately, when I positioned the eyeholes so I could see, one of the corners of the pillowcase would point straight up as it sat atop my head.
I have pictures.
I looked like the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.
I remember many, many people suspiciously asking "And what are you supposed to be?" Not till I was proudly walking home from my rounds did my mom realize what I looked like.
And that's my Halloween Story. You got one?
I was looking through some old Wahoos and I came across one of my brilliant money-making ideas. This was from 1998 . . . . a Flowbee for mohels!
Hey, I got this from Mr. Donz. I keep changing my e-mail address but he keeps finding me. Here's another installment of LATE NIGHT THE DAY THEY WERE BORN
Taylor Swift was born December 13, 1989.
So, what happened on LATE NIGHT the day Taylor Swift was born?
LATE NIGHT, December 13, 1989 (#1236): Jeff Altman, Lolita Davidovich (promoting the film "Blaze"), and Ray Davies (performing "How Do I Get Close to You"). Also: Christmas Shopping Finds, a box full of items brought onstage by Barbara Gaines dressed in an elf costume; Gerard Mulligan and Chris Elliott with "Bobby Elliott," who's given a tour of NYC; and Top Ten Good Things About Leona Helmsley (who was sentenced the day before):
10. Doesn't overburden IRS with large unwieldy tax payments.
9. Knows the first name of the hundreds of employees she's arbitrarily fired.
8. Has remained married for years to same man she stole a fortune from.
7. She wept when the Ayatollah passed away.
6. Probably gives out better gifts than Brandon Tartikoff.
5. Once slapped an employee so hard it improved his vision.
4. At least there's no damn Leona perfume.
3. Has delighted millions with hit TV series like "The Jeffersons" and "Amen." (correction: this refers to Sherman Helmsley) 2. Provides inspiring role model for young tax cheats.
1. She just happens to be the woman I love.
And that's what happened on LATE NIGHT the day Taylor Swift was born.
*** BONUS Late Night the Day They Were Born ***
Tom Mison was born July 23, 1982.
So, what happened on LATE NIGHT the day Tom Mison was born?
LATE NIGHT, July 23, 1982: this day occurred on a Friday; there was no LATE NIGHT broadcast that night.
What happened on LATE NIGHT three days after Tom Mison was born?
LATE NIGHT, July 26, 1982 (#92): Dave is still on vacation, so Larry "Bud" Melman guest-hosts the show, which features New Gift Items and an interview and exercise demonstration with Jack and Elaine LaLanne; By the beginning of Act 3, the show is interrupted by a "Please Stand By" sign, after which Dave appears in Larry's place and hosts the rest of the show, which includes Tony Creany, New York Lotto winner of $20, Howard Smith, and a look at International Symbols.
And that's what happened on LATE NIGHT three days after Tom Mison was born.
Thank you, Donz. I feel like Billy Conn . . . I can run but I can't hide.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Milwaukee, Wisconsin, it's Lee A. Meyerpeter
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OS A WAHOOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee