Donald Trump, and Selena Gomez.
PLUS: The Pie Tin Guy; the Pie Tin Guy with Accompaniment; What Congress Learned from the Shutdown; Boehner Has Trouble with His Caucus; Is That Zach Galifianakis?; a Top Ten List; Debt Limit Crisis Rewind; and Paul and Daughter Victoria in a PSA.
" . . . and now, haberdasher at the Susquehanna Hat Company . . . . . . . David Letterman!"
- "Mood lighting and soft music are being added to airport security lines. And the TSA guy will now leave a single rose in your pants."
- "Mood light . . . romantic music . . . take off your belt . . . take your shoes off . . . . put your cash in a tray . . . . it's like being Eliot Spitzer."
You know him, you love him, it's the guy hammering away at the pie tin. Dave wants to see how his handmade metal tin is coming along. The guy's been around all week, much to the delight of one. Well, make it two. I kinda like it for the same reason Dave does . . . we both know people hate it. Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting. Dave likes the beat and asks Paul if there is anything he can do with that. Paul, of course, can and will.
We lived to tell about it! The government has shutdown and now it's back. How did we ever survive? And here's what Congress learned from the shutdown.
ART CARD: "WHAT CONGRESS LEARNED FROM THE SHUTDOWN"
Rep. Tom Price of Georgia (R) - "Nothing."
Rep. Jim McGovern, Massachusetts (D) - "Nothing."
Rep. Phil Gingrey, Georgia (R) - "Nada."
Rep. Mike Kelly, Pennsylvania (R) - "Zero. Nada."
Rep. Peter DeFazio, Oregon (D) - "Nada. Zero."
Rep. Steny Hoyer, Maryland (D) - "Zip. Nada. Zero."
Rep. Steve Chabot, Ohio (R) - "The adventures of a squirrel . . . named Super Twiggy."
ART CARD: "WHAT CONGRESS LEARNED FROM THE SHUTDOWN"
President Obama said Speaker of the Housed John Boehner "can't control his caucus." Immediately after the President made this statement, the pharmaceutical industry jumped right in and released this new product. We take a look.
ANNOUNCE: "Are you tired of waking up in the middle of the night to phone calls from angry constituents?" (shot of John Boehner) "Does passing any legislation seem impossible?" (more Boehner as Speaker) "That's why you need Boehnex, the first drug designed specifically to help the Speaker of the House control his caucus." (shot of Boehner looking Boehner) "Side effects of Boehnex include emotional outbursts, facial discoloration and sudden bouts of hysteria." (Boehner sobbing and blubbering) "Being Speaker of the House is hard. Boehnex can help."
Paul? What's Paul have for the hammering pie tin guy? We take another look at the pie tin guy hammering away. Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting. Paul and the CBS Orchestra join in with "Mississippi Queen." Very nice. We'll make something out of this pie tin guy yet.
Paul and his daughter, Victoria, made a PSA for the Shelter Pet Project to coincide with National Adopt A Shelter Dog Month. The PSA is to promote the "option of adoption" and was created to positively change the perception of shelter pets. We take a look at Victoria and Paul's PSA as they lounge on their sofa at home playing with their four adopted shelter pets. Very cute. For more info, and to watch the whole PSA, go to www.theshelterpetproject.org.
Out of the clip, we find an unknown standing behind Dave in the skyline. He seems a bit lost. It's awhile before Dave notices him.
DAVE: "Oh, hello there. I didn't see you. Can I help you?
GUY: (bearded; slightly overweight; casually dressed) "Uh, yeah . . . . . maybe. Do you know . . . do you know if I'm Zach Galifianakis?"
DAVE: (a bit confused about the question) "No. No, I don't think so. I'm pretty sure, no, you're not Zach Galifianakis. No."
GUY: " . . . . OK. Thanks."
If we weren't off next week, I could have seen us doing this all week with guys who maybe could be mistaken for Zach Galifianakis. Then, naturally, we would eventually have Zach Galifianakis . . . . asking how to get to the Jimmy Fallon show, or something like that.
TOP TEN: THINGS AMERICANS SAID WHEN THE GOVERNMENT REOPENED
8. "Nice going, guys! Treat yourself to a vacation."
7. "No idea what you accomplished but I assume I have to pay higher taxes."
5. "John McCain can get back to playing poker on his iPhone."
I had a minute so I wrote some up in case we needed a last second replacement.
THINGS AMERICANS SAID WHEN THE GOVERNMENT REOPENED
- "Terrific! Now they can get back to putting us deeper in debt."
- "Muy bien!"
- "Our long national nightmare is back."
The Donald is a grandfather for the 6th time! His daughter Ivanka gave birth on Monday. Donald loves being a grandfather but doesn't seem too keen on the name of grandfather or grandpop. Dave says being a parent is the greatest combination of joy and terror. Will Donald take care of his kids and grandkid and put them up in business or will he say, "Screw you! You're on your own!" and force them to make it on their own? Donald says he isn't sure yet who will take over what in his business. He's got a couple of toughies and some who may be too nice. Donald admits to working better when the kids turn 21 and their interests turn to business. What kind of relationship did Donald have with his father? Donald says they had a great relationship. His father was tough, but wonderful and brilliant. Their relationship flourished when Donald became interested in business. What kind of kid was Donald? He said he got good grades but admits to being a bit of a brat. He attended a military school growing up and it was a tough place to be. The staff sergeants didn't mess around. They often taught with fists; stuff that would get you arrested today. Donald recalls getting there and talking back to the staff sgt. on his first day. Donald never did it again. Donald's a quick learner. Donald admits again that he was a bit of brat when younger. Dave adds that he's still kinda bratty. Donald reluctantly agrees.
The Donald always has some fabulous things he's working on. He's opening a golf course right here in the Bronx (The Trump Golf Links at Ferry Point), and he's redeveloping The Old Post Office right smack dab in the middle of Washington DC into the Trump International Hotel. Me? I'm building a bar in my backyard made of old warped plywood, but dammit, I bet I'm just as excited about that as Trump is about his creations. Dave asks Donald in all of his developments, has he ever had to deal with . . . . . . oh, let's call it "organized crime." Donald says he really tried to avoid working with them. Donald is quick to add that he's met some of those people and they are very nice people. You just don't want to owe them money.
And speaking of owing money, how is our government doing? Donald says they are doing nothing when something desperately needs to be done. They have to get together and do . . . . . . something. And if they don't do something, we need to get people in there who will. A big problem then have is the Republicans and Democrats do not like each other. They hate each other. They have no respect with each other. When you want something done, you need some cooperation. You have to at least like each other a little bit. They have to have some respect. But right now it's not there.
Oh, the golf course in the Bronx, the Trump Golf Links at Ferry Point . . . it's a golf course that the city has been working on for 27 years, but the city being the city, it never got close to being done. Bloomberg got Trump involved and the Donald got it up and running. It's what the Donald does . . .he gets things done. Not a bad reputation to have.
ANNOUNCE: "Hope we'll see you again tomorrow as Dave welcomes Barbara Walters, Late Show writer and author Steve Young, and White Denim. I don't actually want to work at a diner, but man, think of all the butter pats!"
The United States barely avoided breaching the debt limit last night. We were curious about when this last occurred. Maybe this will help. We take a look at this "Debt Limit Crisis Rewind." Alan takes it from here.
ART CARD: DEBT LIMIT CRISIS REWIND
ALAN: "The last time the United States Congress nearly plunged the world into economic Armageddon was way back in January of 2013.
The number one song on the radio was Bruno Mars' "Locked Out of Heaven."
The top movie, Kathryn Bigelow's 'Zero Dark Thirty'.
And a gallon of gasoline cost $4.30.
That's your 'Debt Limit Crisis Rewind.' "
ART CARD: DEBT LIMIT CRISIS REWIND
From her album, "Stars Dance," Selena Gomez performed "Slow Down."
And that was our show for Thursday October 17, 2013.
Dave joked during the monologue that there hadn't been a murder in New York City in 8 days. He lamented, "How are we going to find an apartment?" It's not funny. When I was out of work, I would check the obituaries for possible job openings.
Trump getting the city golf course up and running in the Bronx is exactly what happened 33 years ago during the Ed Koch Administration in the early 80s with the Wollman Ice Rink in Central Park. The city ice rink closed in 1980 for renovations. Six years later it still remained closed. Donald Trump had enough of the incompetence and stepped in. He convinced Koch and the city to get out of the way and let him complete the work. Three months later the rink was up and running. Three months later! This was a great publicity for the Donald and not so much for the city. Donald Trump became known as a guy who gets things done. This got Donald Trump to the forefront in New York City. At least this is what got Donald Trump on my radar. He was hailed a hero, much to the embarrassment of the city.
Boy, oh boy, Quill sure knocked Aaron Hill out of Luann's life, right? I wonder what Aaron is up to these days.
Didn't take long. A friend has two tickets for sale to Monday night's Giants/Vikings game. So far, no takers.
So the last debt limit crisis was in January? Wow! Time flies! I wonder if they schedule the winter debt limit crisis during the open week between the NFC/AFC football championship games and the Super Bowl.
Late Show writer Steve Young Friday night on the Late Show to promote his book. You don't want to miss it. Great job by Steve.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It was her birthday yesterday, from Parkway Drive in New City, New York, it's Maureen Zachondiak Dourlaris.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee