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Saturday, October 19, 2013 Dave makes a cameo in the Tom Hanks hit, "Captain Phillips."
Show #3926
Barbara Walters, Steve Young, and White Denim.
PLUS: Iranian Space Program; Pat Farmer with a Question; Oreos are Addicting; Who is the President Calling?; Dave's Cameo in "Captain Phillips"; and Graham Fenwick-Jones.

" . . . and now, your Groupon Deal of the Day . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
- "New study says Oreos are more addictive than cocaine. If you get hooked on Oreos, instead of Betty Ford, you go to Betty Crocker."
- "'Escape Plan,' starring Stallone and Schwarzenegger. One's famous for knocking people down; the other for knocking people up."

Iran is forging ahead with its space program. Dave saw an odd commercial on his international cable station.
ANNOUNCE: "Are you a healthy, adventurous monkey with a desire to serve a glorious cause? Become an Iranian monkey astronaut! Earn delicious fruits and nuts while rocketing into space in a custom-fitted immobilization frame! Over 30% survival rate! Please, no monkeys from the Great Satan. Blast off to your future! Apply today at the Tehran Monkey Employment Agency."

We find Pat Farmer standing by Dave.
DAVE: "It's Pat Farmer, one of our stagehands."
PAT: "Hi, Dave."
DAVE: "What can I do for you?"
PAT: "I was wondering if I could ask you a question."
DAVE: "I suppose so sure."
PAT: "Great. I'll come by after the show and ask you then."
Pat exits.

Scientists have determined that Oreo cookies are as addictive as cocaine. They also did some research on a few other snacks. We watch.
ANNOUNCE: "The most addictive snack: Oreo cookies." We see a photo of Oreos.
"The least addictive snack: car tires." We see a woman who dines on car tires. She grabs a handful of shaved car tires and gulps.
Coincidentally, she had a spare tire around her waist. Hey-Ohhhh! And another one in the trunk. Double Hey-Ohhhh!

Remember Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's doctor? Well, he's getting out of prison and wants to practice medicine again. Tell me, how can a quack with no degree earn a living? We see a quick shot of Dr. Phil. DOH!

ACT 2:
Have you seen the new Tom Hanks film, "Captain Phillips"? Tom was on our show recently and we ran out of time to discuss Dave's role in the movie. Luckily, Dave has a clip. He never leaves home without it in case someone is interested. We take a look.
We see footage from the film, "Captain Phillips."
CAPTAIN PHILLIPS: "This is Maersk Alabama. We are an unarmed freighter. We have a potential piracy situation."
Phillips looks through his binoculars for a better look. We see what he sees out in the distance. It's Dave in a small rowboat.
DAVE: "Hello! Anyone home? Where's the galley? I'm starving!"
ANNOUNCER: "'Captain Phillips.' In theaters now."

Or something like that. It was changed right before the show.

After weeks of chaos, Congress finally voted to reopen the government and raise the debt ceiling. Here to put it all in perspective for us is CBS Chief Foreign Correspondent Graham Fenwick-Jones.
We see a split screen of Dave and Fenwick-Jones.
DAVE: "Good evening, Graham. Now that it's over after weeks of chaos, does it seem like the shutdown achieved anything for anyone?"
GRAHAM: "I'm afraid not, Dave. The shutdown plan failed, and the Tories got bog all out of this pony and trap, while Obama got the whole block and tackle. So the people may get the MPs stick now that they've gone for a Burton, and when Election Day comes around, voters will tell them they're bang out of order and say, 'Bugger that for a game of soldiers.'"
DAVE: "I see. And how did the two sides finally come to an agreement. Why now, and not two weeks ago?"
GRAHAM: "Ultimately, they had to listen to the people. The Tories had gone Dagenham, and polls showed they were as popular as grogan on the tube. And once they ended up Joe Soap, well, even a big girl's blouse such as yourself could tell they'd lost the plot and should go for an early bath before they completely went off their chump."
DAVE: "And do you think we'll continue to see this kind of gridlock in our future?"
GRAHAM: "It's hard to tell, Dave. The party has gone pear-shaped, and now that they've made a dog's dinner of the whole thing, it's going to be hard cheese for every Tory MP from Henley-on-Thames to Sudbury and Nottinghamshire. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get over the eight and go on the pull for a slag to toodle my pip."
DAVE: "Thank you, Graham. You've been very helpful. Graham Fenwick-Jones, everybody."

He makes as much sense as any politician we have.

ACT 3:
It's her 29th visit to the Late Show. Dave gets right to it. Barbara has interviewed the biggest and greatest the world has to offer for the past 5-plus decades. Dave looks for a quick comment on some on his list.
Nixon: an uncomfortable man. He acted as if he were constipated. He would also tell off-color jokes to the crew. He'd want to be accepted as one of the guys. But he was very uncomfortable. Barbara says, "He compliment my boots and I wouldn't be wearing boots." Is she sure he said " boots."
Castro: one of the most charismatic men she ever met. Some thought they may have had a thing going one. Yes, she once rode in a car with him with her hand on his pistol, but that was only one time.
Then Dave and Barbara talked about Fidel and Batista. Dave was very interested, but Barbara thought she was here to have fun. She says somewhat sadly, "I don't want to spend my time with you talking about Fidel Castro."
Chavez: He'd complain of having no personal life; no romance. Dave laughs and says that line's been used in every bar in every town in the world. We're left to wonder if Barbara fell for it.
Deciding to lighten things up, Dave drops talk of Fidel and Batista and Chavez. He brings up Mubarak and Syria and Bashar al-Assad. All of a sudden, that's all old news. News in America went 100% to the shutdown. (Or as Obama says, "Yes!")
Life in these United States. Dave feels the country is in a deep lethargy, lacking any kind of energy to do anything. The entire country is adrift without direction and only . . . . sorry, I missed the rest. I was looking at my iPhone.
"Wha? What'd you . . what'd you say? Huh?"

Barbara Walters - still getting it done on "The View."

Going into commercial, we see cameraman Al Cialino making an appearance in tonight's Backstage Photo Club.

ACT 5:
Dang it. I'm home and I don't have the script for this. Alan billboard's Monday's show of Alec Baldwin and Toni Collette. Then he says one more line that I can't remember.

ACT 6:
23 years as a writer for Dave on Late Night and currently here at the Late Show, so a lot of it is Steve's fault. Steve has written a book that is highly anticipated by a very niche group. The book is titled, "Everything's Coming Up Profits - The Golden Age of Industrial Musicals." Back in the 50's through the 80s, industries would go to great lengths to energize its employees, engineers, and salespeople with huge Broadway-type musical shows at the yearly company conventions. Some of the musical productions were so extravagant they would match anything you could see on Broadway. But then, those were the exception. Most were just plain awful. These industrial musicals weren't meant for outsiders but only for the eyes and ears of the company insiders. And some of these productions were recorded for prosperity. Unfortunately, most of the recordings were quickly discarded into the trash or forgotten at the foot of a barstool after the show. Steve was able to find enough of these records to put together a thoroughly entertaining book that will have you laughing and scratching your head in wonder.
We take a look at the first album, "Everything's Coming Up Profits" - GAF's 1969 floor tile show. The cover art of the album is "hypnotically grim, unrelentingly grim." What a hoot!
- "Diesel Dazzle" - 1966 - Detroit Diesel Engine Division of GM. It's all there in the title: The Diesel of industry and the dazzle of show business.
- "The Bathrooms Are Coming" - American Standard (1969) - a musical about bathroom fixtures. We get to listen to their anthem, "My Bathroom"
- "79 Fever" - the 1979 Westinghouse Architectural Systems Design - all about office furniture! It's disco-inspired. Steve describes it as "excruciating." We give a listen. It may be the Holy Grail in that it may be what actually killed disco. If that's the case, why oh why didn't it come around sooner than 1979?
- "GE Presents Go Fly A Kite" - from the 1966 Electric Utility Executives Conference. This musical was written by Kander and Ebb. They went on from this to write "Cabaret" and "Chicago." We take a listen to a love song expressed through electrical terminology, called "Be Direct With Me."

The book is hilarious and so much more interesting than it has a right to be. I give the book two thumbs in the air and the music two hands over the ears.

Look for the book on Amazon, and visit the companion website where you can listen to many of the musicals featured in the book at:
Wow! I'm surprised the website address was still available!

ACT 7:
From their new album, "Corsicana Lemonade," the band from Austin, Texas performed "Pretty Green."
Corsicana . . . . . it's a city in Texas. My guess is they have some pretty good lemonade down there.

And that was our show for Friday, October 18, 2013.

Pat Farmer interrupting Dave . . . Dave always greets Pat with, "It's Pat Farmer, one of our stagehands. What can I do for you, Pat?" Here's my idea for Pat's next interrupt. When Dave refers to Pat as "one of our stagehands," Pat should begin his response with a muttered correction, "Property Master" and continue on. I would think it's funny. Pat would think it's funny. Some others around here would think it's funny. Not too sure how many after that would think it funny. But I don't care if everybody doesn't get my jokes. I'm a 10 percenter. I like it when only 10% get my joke and not 95%, which probably explains why I am still at where I am.

Congratulations, Steve Young. Great job! Steve first became interested, or aware, of these industrial musicals back when we did a bit for the show called, Dave's Record Collection. Steve would go out to old record stores in search of odd and obscure recordings. We'd play a cut and then Dave would make a whimsical quip. Yeah, believe it or not that worked! Actually, it was all very funny. From this search, Steve developed on odd interest in the industrial musical. And a passion developed. Scene at home:
Mrs. Young: "Honey, would you please come to bed."
Steve: "In a minute, dear. I just want to hear the B-side of 'This Is Oldsmobility'"
By the way, Steve gets a mention in the wiki topic "Industrial Musicals."

Baseball announcer Joe Buck . . . . .he never actually says what just happened on the field. Boston's Mike Napoli's homerun in game 3 is an example. Joe Buck will announce it like this: "Napoli swings . . . hit deep to left . . . and the Red Sox take a 1-0 lead." He doesn't say it's a home run or "it's gone!" or "it's outta here!" or "Napoli happily hits one!" He leaves that part out. The final out of the World Series will go something like this: "Ground ball to short . . . . . over to first . . . and the Dodgers are the 2013 World Series champions!" He'll never say "He's out!" Look for it. Listen for it. I don't hate it. I don't like it. It's just . . . . Joe Buck's way.

Dang it, I forgot again! I meant to mention this Wednesday and then on Thursday. We had a heavyset guy run across the stage before Dave Wednesday night. Also, filling in for Felicia on Wednesday was Mike Muller.

How about the Washington Redskins change their name to the Warriors and keep the same logo? I'm not offended by too many things . . . only things that obstruct pedestrian and vehicular traffic . . . . but every now and then I will come to my senses and look at the Cleveland Indians mascot and say, "Chief Wahoo? Really?" and Washington's football team, "C'mon . . . Redskins?" And then a day or two later I will wonder what the big deal is and think nothing of it. And then I'll look at it again and shake my head in disbelief. My reaction usually depends on who I'm hanging out with and what I think they want to hear.

Friday was show #3926. When will we broadcast Late Show #4000? I'm looking forward to it because we'll probably get a free lunch and maybe a t-shirt. I know exactly what Bar Refaeli is going through. Been there, done that.
Next week's previously viewed programs:
MONDAY: from 9/12/13; #3905 - Alec Baldwin, and Toni Collette.
TUESDAY: from 10./07/13; #3917 - Tom Hanks, and Two Door Cinema Club
WEDNESDAY: from 9/27/13; #3911 - Steve Martin, Kathleen Madigan, and The Kruger Brothers.
THURSDAY: from 9/25/13; #3909 - Robin Williams; Lizzy Caplan, and Icona Pop. Plus, a Top Ten performed by Renee Fleming.
FRIDAY: from 9/24/13; #3908 - Cher. Plus: Cher.

Consult the Wahoo Archives and make your plans accordingly.

Look out! Take cover! She's in town! Welcome home, Ann Cullen Gregor!
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
Twitter: @WahooMike

Wahoo Gazette Archive

Monday, May 18
Hovering! with Tom Hanks
Saturday, May 16
Oprah and Dave indulge in a selfie.
Thursday, May 14
Tom Waits, Dave and what's-his-name.
Wednesday, May 13
Julia and Dave squeeze in one last hug.
Tuesday, May 12
Adam Sandler performs a musical ode to Dave.