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Wednesday, November 6, 2013 Chris Elliott and Gerry Mulligan share a mouth-to-mouth moment.
Show #3934
Natalie Portman, Chris Elliott, and James Blunt.
PLUS: the White House tours are back; a victorious politician interrupts; a look back at Chris Christie's first term; and New Books.

" . . . and now, with the temerity of a saloon gambler . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE

-"Miami Dolphin Richie Incognito was suspended. Today he released an apologetic slur."
-"Scientists believe there are 40 billion planets just like earth in our galaxy. And each one has several shows about storage units."

White House tours resumed yesterday, seven months after they were suspended due to spending cuts. Hey, how much did we save on that? Dave saw this report earlier on CBS. We watch a tour in session during the following announce.
ANNOUNCE: "The White House is once again open to the public. Tours have begun on a limited basis, seven months after they stopped, due to government budget cuts. Tourists can now see all of the White House's most iconic rooms, and get a first-hand look at the president's desk in the Oval Office.
ANNOUNCE: "Garrett Monroe, CBS News."
We see a woman swipe the desk phone off the desk of the oval office and shove it into her purse. See? That's where all our money is going!
Dave is interrupted by nattily-dressed, professional gentleman. He comes out waving his arms over his head in victory. Smells like a politician.

POLITICIAN. "Thank you. Thank you. Hello, Paul. Hi, Dave."
DAVE: "Hi. How are you?"
POLITICIAN: "I'm well, thank you. You know, I'm told the show has never been better."
DAVE: "Why, thank you very much."
POLITICIAN: "No, please, thank you! You know, if it weren't for your endorsement, I never would have been able to pull off what experts believe is the greatest upset in the history of politics! Thank you! And to the people who voted for me, I say, 'Thank you!' "
He continues.
POLITICIAN: "Para las personaxs que votaron por mi, digo, gracias! Pour les gens qui ont vote pour moi, je le dis, je vous remercie! Zu den Menschen, die fur mich gestimt habve, sage ich, danke!"

DAVE (interrupting): "Okay, that's enough."

The politician gets right up against Dave and throws a pocketful of confetti into the air. He expects a photo to be taken of them both. Not happening.

POLITICIAN: "I guess... I guess we're not doin' the photo, huh?"
DAVE: "No, we're not doing the photo. Thank you very much. You can go."
POLITICIAN: "Thank you everybody, and God bless America!" Exits.

PAUL: "Uh, Dave, who was that?"
DAVE: "I have no idea, but I think he was one of those politicians on crack."

Kentucky Senator Rand Paul has been hit with charges of plagiarism in recent days. He issued this statement earlier today.
We see a headshot of Rand Paul.
ANNOUNCE: "In the face of the charges leveled against him, Rand Paul wishes to say, 'I am not a plagiarist. Furthermore,
‘I think it's gonna be a long, long time
'til touch down brings me 'round again
To find I'm not the man
They think I am at home.
Oh no, no, no...
I'm a rocket man.' "
ANNOUNCE: "Rand Paul: 'I'm a rocket man.' "

Congratulations to New Jersey Governor Chris Christie on his re-election. He promises to finish what he started in this next term. We thought this would be a good time to take a look back at some of Christie's highlights from his first 4 years.
ART CARD:"NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE: A LOOK BACK" We see the Governor making a speech, making a sandwich while making a speech, eating shrimp from Benihana while making a speech, and lifting his shirt and getting beads while making a speech.

ACT 2:
It's Wednesday, so you know what that means! Time for New Books!
-A Marquis Who's Who Publication: "Who's Who of Frank Sinatra's Offspring"
-"What's Become of Me?" by Matt Lauer – the cover is from last week of Matt Lauer dressed as a Baywatch babe lifeguard for Halloween. Says Dave, "You know, you don't have to say ‘yes' to everything asked."
-"Poetry That Will Get You Laid"
-"The Big Book of Exercises You'll Never Do" – I liked this one. I have the whole set.
-"Watching Hoover Get Old and Die of Natural Causes" - by Big Bill O'Reilly and Martin Dugard
-"Photographs of Gay Animals" - from the National Geographic Society
-"Leonard Maltin's Guide to His Own Sex Tapes"

AC T 3:
NATALIE PORTMAN

She's an Academy Award winner and a mom. In fact, she accepted her Academy Award while pregnant back in 2011 for . . . . . . . c'mon, play along . . . . for "Black Swan." She met, at the time, her husband to be on the set of "Black Swan" and the family will soon be moving to Paris. He has been named to run the famed Paris Opera Ballet. Her husband is a ballet dancer and Dave wonders what you call a male ballet dancer. You have "ballerina" for a woman, but what for a man? It wasn't mentioned, I don't think, but the obvious would be "ballerina," no? Like Bravo vs. brava, and nino vs. nina. With his accent, when her husband is asked what he does for a living, it sounds like he is saying "belly dancer."

Natalie always seems so "together" and assured and confident. But that wasn't the case at a recent dinner reception in London. Among many, including Prince Charles, she dined with the finest of all England. Natalie then placed a program down behind her . . . right into a candle. Moments later there was a mad scramble to put out the raging fire. She imagines there was much muttering about the American afterwards.

Natalie's new film, "Thor: The Dark World" looks to be another one of those superhero blockbusters. It opens this Friday at every theater near you.

For your collection! Tonight's "Backstage Phone Club" is Late Show hair designer John DiGioia, working on Chris Elliott.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE:

"Catch Dave tomorrow with Kelly Ripa, Cobie Smulders, and Gary Clark Jr. Visit cbs.com/lateshow to watch The Wanted Live on Letterman. The Wanted's exclusive online concert form the Ed Sullivan Theater can be streamed on demand. Hatters gonna hat."

ACT 6:
CHRIS ELLIOTT

Oh, Chris, such a silly man. He enters draped in a silvery insulator cape given to those who just finish running a marathon. Chris says he earned it. Yes, he ran in the marathon, though later it comes out that he jumped the line in Central Park and ran the final quarter mile. We see a clip of Chris striking up a conversation with the winner Geoffrey Mutai from . . . . . c'mon, play along . . . . . from Kenya.
During Dave and Christopher's chat, old friend Gerry Mulligan runs in. He seems to still be running the marathon. He must have taken a left on 7th on 59th Street instead of keeping straight. The winded Mulligan is aided by Chris who feels a bit of mouth-to-mouth just might help his old chum. Looked more like twerking than M-to-M.
Have you seen Chris's "Eagleheart" on Adult Swim? I've caught a few of them and they are ridiculously silly. There are more chuckles-a-minute than just about anything else you will see on TV, except for maybe the Mets. Hey-Ohhhh! The 3rd season of "Eagleheart: Paradise Rising" premieres Thursday November 14th at midnight. C'mon, check it out. What else could you be doing at midnight on Thursdays?

ACT 7:
JAMES BLUNT

From his new CD, "Moon Landing," James Blunt performed an enjoyable "Bonfire Heart." I'll have to go home and ask my daughters if he's anybody. Sounded like he is.

And that was our show for Wednesday, November 6, 2013.

I may never step inside a mall ever again. I tried to buy something for my TV so I can switch channels while the cable box is blocked behind the cabinet door. I did the research and found I needed an infrared extender. You plug one end into the cable box, tape an ‘eye" in front of the cable box receiving eye, and then run another eye through the back of the cabinet and up to the TV. The little eye is where you aim your clicker. With that in my head, I headed out to the mall on Sunday to make the purchase. One place didn't have it; the other place had one left and it cost $100. It may have been worth $100 but I didn't want an infrared extender that did that much. I wanted simple. I went home and found exactly what I wanted online. I did some clicking and on Wednesday, there was my infrared extender piece waiting for me. Cost me $21. I hooked it up and . . . . . I couldn't believe it . . . it did exactly what it was supposed to. Now I can change the channels on my TV without having to keep the cabinet door open! A couple of clicks on the computer and, voila! I got what I want.
The only advantage to going to the mall these days is for the Auntie Anne's soft pretzels.

Hey, you people like to vote, right? Well, Dave is nominated for a People's Choice Award. You're "people" and you have a choice. Get on the People's Choice Awards website and drop Dave a vote! Please! Because if he wins, I think we may get a free lunch here.

Happy Saxophone Day.
November 6th is Saxophone Day, in remembrance of Adophe Sax, the inventor of the saxophone, born in Wallonia, Belgium in 1814. He patented the saxophone in 1846

I'm thinking of having a Cortaca Jug Party at the house on November 16th. Anybody else know what that is? Since I left SUNY Cortland college in 1980, the Cortland/Ithaca football game in Central New York has exploded into a wild weekend and has been celebrated by Sports Illustrated as "The Biggest Little Game in the Nation." The game wasn't much when I was there, probably because Cortland was in the middle of losing to Ithaca 21 times in 24 years. The 4 years I attended C-State we were outscored by The Bombers of Ithaca 135-39. It may have been a big deal in Ithaca at the time, but not so much in Cortland. Since then, I've had a niece and a nephew go to Cortland. I remember telling them when applying not to use my name. I think that helped. They tell me the game is huge huge big. It's crazy. I found that I can get the game on a webcast and I'm considering having some old C-Staters drop in to watch on the big screen. We'll be getting together for the football game, but we know it's really just an excuse.
Cortlandites today may have their Cortaca Jug . . . but back in the day we had the Spring Picnic. Now THAT was something!

The Wahoo Gazette – a blog before there was the word "blog".
November 6, 2001: He's never won a daily prize giveaway, from Kansas City, Missouri, it's Ted Hagan.
Time now for This Date in CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER History.

This concludes another installment of This Date in CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER History

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Oh, yeah! He's 56 years old today! From Cazenovia, New York, by way of Burnt Hills, the 1975 Central New York's High School Player of the Year, it's Neale Moore. 56! Can you believe it? Whoa!
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

Wahoo Gazette Archive

Tuesday, September 30
Alan Kalter reveals the Secret Word of the night!
Monday, September 29
Late Show costume designer Sue Hum takes a $200,000 trip around the world.
Saturday, September 27
The Pop-Tarts are ready!
Friday, September 26
The very funny Jerry Seinfeld stops by for standup and sit-down.
Wednesday, September 24
Kelly Ripa sends Dave's butt to the cloud.