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Tuesday, December 17, 2013 Will Ferrell debuts his new side project.
Show #3955
Will Ferrell, Chris Cornell and Joy Williams, and a Top Ten List with Heisman Trophy winner Jameis Winston.
PLUS: Santas in New York; what does Boehner think?; a criticism of "Anchorman 2"; and a last-minute gift idea.

" . . . and now, principal oboist for the New York Philharmonic . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:

-"This just in . . . the fake sign language interpreter from the Nelson Mandela funeral has just been hired to work the Peter O'Toole funeral."
-"Peter O'Toole . . . . wasn't that an Anthony Weiner screen name?"

Have you heard about SantaCon? Hundreds of people in the city get dressed up like Santa Claus and out and about the city. It's like a Currier & Ives Christmas scene. We take a look at one heart-warming scene.
We see a bunch of Santas in a donnybrook. Punches thrown and received. Maybe it's the former cop in me but I would have loved to have heard the call come in over the police radio. Unfortunately, the SantaCon has morphed into an all-day bar-hopping drinkfest.

Is Santa Claus white? According to FOX News Megyn Kelly, he is. And we have proof. We take a look at white Santa. It's Toronto Mayor Rob Ford in a Santa hat and beard running loose at a city council meeting and knocking over a woman who is just trying to do her job.

I wonder what Speaker John Boehner thought of that joke.
We cut to Boehner. He bellows, "Are you kidding me?!"

You might have heard that "Anchorman 2" comes out this week. The movie is getting a lot of praise, but it also has its critics. We watch this.
ANNOUNCE: "While the ‘Anchorman' franchise is a comedic take on the world of action news, it's portrayal of broadcast journalism is a disservice to the serious professionals who hold their positions in the highest regard." We see photos of Tom Brokaw, Diane Sawyer, and Dan Rather, followed by a clip of New York local Ernie Anastos, "Keep ‘givl'ing that chicken!"
ANNOUNCE: "Journalism: On It!"

ACT 2:
Looking for a last-minute Christmas gift? Check out "This Land Was Made For You And Me, But Mostly Me" by the wonderful and talented Bruce McCall . . . . and Dave. Dave shows off a few of the drawings inside. All this can be yours for about $26.
Cut to John Boehner: "Are you kidding me?!"

TOP TEN: UNUSUAL THINGS TO HEAR IN A HUDDLE – And here with tonight's Top Ten List, from Florida State University, your 2013 Heisman Trophy winner, Jameis Winston.
Jameis Winston:
-Freshman quarterback of the Florida State Seminoles.
-The highest rated quarterback in the nation
-Threw a school-record 38 touchdowns this year
-At 19, Jameis is the youngest to ever win the Heisman Trophy.
-The BCS Championship game – The Rose Bowl – Monday January 6th -- The Florida State University Seminoles (13-0) vs. the Auburn Tigers (12-1)
9. "One of their guys is shoving me."
5. "Hey, we match!"
2. "Crap, wrong team."

Dave crosses and hands the Heisman Trophy winner the Heisman Trophy. The 19-year-old has a few inches on Dave and he's probably has a few more inches to grow.

ACT 3:

Will looks trim and fit. In "Anchorman," Dave says Will seems to be a bit puffier. Will says he gained some pounds for the role. Dave then mentions Will's appearance at the end of the Emmy Awards. Will came out to make the final presentation of the night and he decided to have fun with it. He pretended to be a regular dad with his kids in two just coming back from soccer practice. It was a last-second thing and it worked out great.
Dave and Will talk about their family and their children's sport participation. Dave mentions Harry's interests and Will asks about his commitment level. Very funny. Will sounded just like today's recreational coaches. Way too much emphasis on winning and maximizing effort instead of maximizing fun. And that's from my generation, folks! Actually, I blame it more on those coaches about 10 years younger, maybe those born in the late 60s and on. I could be wrong in my estimation, but that's about where I see it.
There's a big push for "Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues" and it looks to be your basic Will Ferrell silliness, which I like. Harrison Ford makes an appearance in the film and Will was thrilled to work with a star of that magnitude. Harrison Ford was on the set for the very first day of shooting. Everyone was still getting to know each other. As silly as Will is, he is very on-point and serious when filming. No fun and games; all business. Will was busy with something, probably getting make-up, and Harrison Ford looks at Will and says, "Dinner?" Without thinking, Will says, "No, I'm good. I have my own in my trailer." Moments later, it dawned on Will that Harrison Ford was asking him to dinner and Will just turned him down . . . . . because . . . . . Will had a cold sandwich in his trailer and would rather eat alone? Will feels terrible about it now and if Harrison Ford is watching, Will invites himself to have dinner with him.
"Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues" – nobody lives in middle earth and the world isn't about to end. Says Dave, "It's just about a dope of a guy trying to get through life." It opens Wednesday, December 18th.

Will is always busy and his latest venture is to tour with the Vienna Boys Choir. It's something he's always wanted to do. Did Will sing as a boy? No. In fact, he's only started singing in earnest in the past few months. As a special treat, Will would like to perform a bit with the Choir. By all means! The scrim rises and we find 8 young boys in red gowns. The step forward as Will gets up and stands behind. Paul and the band begin "Christmas Time is Here," made popular by the Charlie Brown Christmas special. The boys sing like angels. Will joins in for the 2nd verse and . . . . . oh, let's say he fits right in. He then steps forward and narrates, with the soft music still playing behind:
WILL: (in falsetto) "You know, as I travel the country this holiday season, I've noticed one thing; that the holiday spirit is in all of our hearts. So, please, make this time of year a special time to lover friends and family, and be thankful of your blessings, may they be big or small."
Will and the boys finish with another verse of "Christmas Time Is Here." Outside of Will, it was beautiful.

Tonight's installment of the Backstage Photo Club: Executive Producers Barbara Gaines and Jude Brennan. Collect ‘em all!

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Get yourself back here tomorrow for Dave and Paul Rudd, Cristin Milioti, Alt-J, and a special Top Ten List with Barbara Walters. After the break, we show you now to make festive holiday decorations from items found in your prison cell."

ACT 7:

Chris Cornell, with Joy Williams, performed "Misery Chain" from the soundtrack CD, "Music From and Inspired By '12 Years A Slave.'"

And that was our show for show for Monday, December 16, 2013.

Well, at least this time I heard about the two lanes shut down on the George Washington Bridge before I got in my car. Right now they're talking about a two-hour delay to get to the bridge. I'm sure the Lincoln Tunnel is jammed pack, too. I guess I'll be hunkering down here at the office until who knows how long.

When's the next Powerball? I think it's up to half-a-billion. Yeah, that would work for me.

During the Will Ferrell interview, music could be heard backstage coming from . . . . somewhere. It could also be heard by those standing by the spiral staircase. I did some investigating and followed it back into the alley doors behind Alan Kalter. And back even farther and I found it was originating from band in a bar on 54th Street. A phone call was soon placed and it was put to a temporary stop. Now an hour later, I can hear the band playing again. And it is LOUD. The bar is outside my office window about 10 floors down. I can't believe how loud it is. Naturally, all the windows are shut tight but the music is causing the panes to rattle.
Now playing: Pink Floyd's "Time."

Friday's "Final Jeopardy" --- once again, the wrong bet caused a very smart person to lose. Contestants need to spend some time studying the science of how much to bet when you're in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. They all got the Final wrong, but 2nd place would have won if he made the right bet. Dope.

Now playing: the Beatles "Come Together."

Final Jeopardy tonight: North Korea is DPRK; this country is LPDR.
Going into Final Jeopardy:
1st place: $24,000
2nd place: $11,400
3rd place: $9,800

Well, obviously 1st place can't be caught so his bet should be zero or close to zero.
You get more money for finishing in 2nd than you do in 3rd. 2nd place with 11,400 has to defend against 3rd place's 9,800 betting everything, so she has to bet at least enough to better 9,800 X 2, or 19,600. Therefore, 2nd place should bet at least 8,201. 3rd place can only finish in 2nd if the #2 person gets the Final wrong. 3rd place should know that 2nd place will be betting at least 8,201. Therefore, 3rd place should bet nothing.

Now playing: Rolling Stones "Satisfaction"

How did they bet in Final Jeopardy?
3rd place bet it all but $1. She got it wrong and ended up with $1. 2nd place bet it all but $100. She got it wrong and ended up with $100. 1st place made the right bet and bet $0. He got the Final Jeopardy right. If the person in last place took my advice, she would have ended up in 2nd place and won more money. Dope.

"North Korea is DPRK; this country is LPDR. " --- Laos.

7:30 PM – I'm looking out my office window and traffic seems to be moving fine north on 8th Avenue. Last week when we had this problem with the George Washington Bridge, the entire midtown was packed jammed solid. Tonight, not so bad. I'm going to chance it and leave now for the Lincoln Tunnel.

Nothing is more boring than listening to someone talk about their commute . . . except maybe listening to someone talk about their golf game.

It's now Tuesday morning --- the Lincoln Tunnel was pretty good. I'll be looking for some George Washington Bridge stories later.

Michael Z. McIntee
Twitter: @WahooMike

Wahoo Gazette Archive

Monday, May 18
Hovering! with Tom Hanks
Saturday, May 16
Oprah and Dave indulge in a selfie.
Thursday, May 14
Tom Waits, Dave and what's-his-name.
Wednesday, May 13
Julia and Dave squeeze in one last hug.
Tuesday, May 12
Adam Sandler performs a musical ode to Dave.