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Tuesday, February 4, 2014 Intern Todd returns triumphant from the Super Bowl.
Show #3977
George Clooney, and Sting.
PLUS: Go, Billionaires!; Dave's Soup; the O'Reilly/Obama Interview; Super Bowl Stars and What They're Doing Now; a Top Ten List; and Todd the Intern Goes To The Super Bowl.

" . . . and now, MVP of this year's Puppy Bowl . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE
- "George Clooney is here tonight, Italy's favorite bachelor . . . if you don't count the Pope."
- "America's most popular condiment . . . mayonnaise. The annual Condiment Awards will be on CBS tomorrow night."
- "The Olympics begin this week. Olympians claim the hardest thing about the Olympics is sitting in the chairlift and making the awkward small-talk." The audience didn't enjoy that nearly as much as I did.

When talking about the Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl victory, you have to give credit to Seahawks owner and Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen. And that's exactly what the NFL did. We take a look.
ANNOUNCE: "The National Football League congratulates Paul Allen, Microsoft co-founder and Seattle Seahawks owner, on his Super Bowl victory. Mr. Allen proved that even if you're only worth $16 million, you can accomplish anything!
Go billionaires!"

Hey! How's my soup coming? Is it ready?
We cut to a chef stirring a big vat of soup. He tastes. He nods. He smiles. Looks like it almost ready.
And what will Dave put his soup in? A bowl, of course. What kind of bowl? A metal tin bowl. How's that coming along?
We cut to the guy banging on a metal pan to shape. I smiled when I saw this, knowing how many people weren't.

Before the Super Bowl, Bill O'Reilly interviewed President Obama and actually took up talking more than the President. It was pretty obvious. We take a look at the complete interview.
Bill O': "I want to get some things on the record. Keystone pipeline . . . The IRS . . . Are you the most liberal president? Here's something that you and I agree on. You are much more friendly to a nanny state. Last word. You get it."
OBAMA: "Ummmm."
BILL O': "Thanks. Always a pleasure to talk with you."
OBAMA: "I agree. Thank you very much."

Many of the Super Bowl winners go on to lead a new life in television. We take a look.
Howie Long, Oakland Raiders, has become an NFL commentator.
Lawrence Taylor, New York Giants, has become a felon and a TV actor.
Tony Siragusa, Baltimore Ravens, has become a pitchman for adult male diapers. And now much did he get paid for that? Hey, Tony, you can say "no," you know.

Once again, tonight and all night, Beatles music in and out of the commercial breaks.

ACT 2:
Say hello to our intern, Todd! We sent Todd out to New Jersey over the weekend to the Super Bowl. How long has Todd been an intern here at the Late Show? Says Todd, "I started in . . . 2009."
Todd with a report from Super Bowl 48.
The temps were not as frigid as we feared. It was a balmy 52. Twelve hours later, it was blizzard.
Fans from neither Seattle nor Denver can spell their team's name.
And neither knows their teams fight song.
Hey, Clete Blakeman makes it on to national TV.
We meet Jimmy Johnson. We meet John Travolta. We meet Joe Namath. We meet Bill Clinton.
Todd goes looking for some free stuff. Fans are more than willing to give him a bite of their hot dog, a drink from their soda, and cheese goo from the pump.
Saddest thing you'll ever see . . . a Bronco fan with a horse head.
We then meet some of the very happy Seattle Seahawks. Todd gets the sore end of many a chest bump.
And that's Todd's report.

The Denver guy in the horse head . . . it's bad enough fan gets dressed up in gaudy costumes to watch a football game . . . . I'm talking to you, Raider fans . . . . but when your team loses and you have to walk back to your car in your gaudy costume . . . . that has to be really humiliating.

ACT 3:
TOP TEN THINGS PRESIDENT OBAMA WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SAID TO BILL O'REILLY
10. "When do we get to the fair and balanced part?"
9. "And I thought Biden was irritating"
8. "Let's wrestle"
7. "I'm hoping the Secret Service will tase you"
6. "Just keep on ranting while I get lunch"
5. "Sorry, but Obamacare won't cover your hair replacement surgery"
4. "I hear a spot just opened up at Gitmo"
3. "Life was so much simpler back in Kenya"
2. "Life was so much simpler back in Kenya"
1. "I've seen that icy stare somewhere"

GEORGE CLOONEY
Mr. Clooney contemplated flying in like Peter Pan for his entrance, but Bill Murray beat him to it. George loves Bill, but must admit he's a bit of an odd bird. They will go quite a while without being in touch and out of the blue, George will get a call from Bill, "I'm here!" Where? "At the airport here in Italy." So George will have Bill driven to his place and they will do fun guy stuff, like shoot hoops or watch TV, or golf. And then two weeks later, it's "See, ya." Dave enjoys the Bill Murray stories. Dave says he's known Bill for over 30 years and loves him dearly, but every conversation Dave has had with Bill includes an invitation to a party.
"The Monuments Men" - George directs, stars, and co-wrote the film. He had his father in the film, and he played George as an older man. Makes sense. George had his father say one word, "Yeah." But his dad never quite said it the way George wanted. It's hard to direction to your father. Actually, George said it wasn't that hard to give direction to his father; it was hard for his father to take direction from his son. Eventually, George told his dad to do it one way, knowing he would do it the opposite. And it worked. His dad did it just how George "didn't" want it. I use the same approach with my kids. And dad is here tonight. We take a look at mom and dad in the green room. Also in the green room is George's date to the big red carpet premiere of "The Monuments Men" here in town. His date is with a complete stranger. She won the date in a $10 raffle to benefit the Satellite Sentinel Project, the organization Clooney co-founded. From the wiki: "Through the use of satellite imagery, SSP provides an early warning system to deter mass atrocities by focusing world attention and generating rapid responses on human rights and human security concerns." Dad is going to the premiere, mom is going, George's date and daughter are going. Dave says with a bit of sadness that it seems everyone is going to the premiere, wondering quietly why he wasn't invited. George jumps on Dave's comment and says that "Everyone who is anyone is going to the premiere tonight . . . even Radio Man." Radio Man? Look him up. He's well-known in these parts by the anyone involved in TV and movies here in New York.
"The Monuments Men" - great cast, great story. Matt Damon is on Wednesday night and Dave speaks highly of him; wonderful family, very nice guy. George agrees, but digs "It's a little bit of an act, but he is very lovely."
"The Monuments Men" - in theaters this Friday. It'll be great way to free yourself of the cabin fever after three days of hiding from the snow.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE:
"Dial us up again tomorrow for Dave with Matt Damon, and Lenny Kravitz. The Late Show . . . 112 days without a home viewer injury."

ACT 7:
STING: With friends Ivy Levan and Mike Einsinger, Sting performed "Drive My Car" as we continue our week-long tribute to the Beatles. Sting's more recent CD, "The Last Ship," features songs form his Broadway-bound musical of the same name. it opens this summer in Chicago.

And that was our show for Tuesday February 4, 2014.

Tough commute Wednesday morning . . . . more snow, ice, frozen rain. And it came at the worst time. It started after midnight and continued through the A.M. I woke at 3:30 AM to take a look at how things were shaping up. It looked bad. And from what I was hearing on the radio, it was only going to get worse. Should I? Or shouldn't I? Years ago I decided not to drive in the night before a storm. I woke that night at 3:30 to shovel the driveway, and continued to shovel the driveway to keep ahead of the snow. But the plows never came through the neighborhood. Not all day. The plows were only hitting the main streets and forcing everyone to stay home. I couldn't get to work. Ever since, I don't chance it. So when the snow was falling hard at 3:30 AM this morning, and it was a bad, icy snow, I decided to make a dash for work. And it was real bad. Nothing yet plowed with few others on the road. I took it slow, I took it careful. It took me a bit more than an hour. Now at 8:30 AM, it's an icy rainfall. It's not quite Atlanta-bad, but it's still pretty bad. I blame De Blasio.

This Super Bowl was the most watched TV program in the history of United States television, which reminds me of a joke told on Late Night a hundred years ago. It got very little response, but I loved it. This is how I remember it. Dave was talking about a show that did incredible in the ratings. Maybe it was the final MASH episode.
- "It was one of the highest rated shows of all time. The highest rated show was a special entitled, 'A Day In The Life of a Nielsen Family.'"

Oh, I almost forgot . . . what is it that Dave always says about the Super Bowl? "Safety first."
(Sorry. Maybe I should have left it forgotten.)

I enjoyed Russell Wilson's visit to the show Monday night. Seems like a real class act. For some reason, he's flown under the radar compared to the other kids on the block, like Andrew Luck of the Colts and the Redskins' RGIII, and the 49ers Colin Kaepernick. And did you know Russell Wilson is one of the lowest paid players on the Seahawks? The long-snapper makes more than he does. But that'll change soon.

This won't make me a lot of friends around here, but I want to get this out now so it's on the record: This year's March Madness will find for the very first time a #1 seed losing to a #16 seed. And the #1 team to lose will be . . . . . the currently undefeated Syracuse Orangemen. I remember watching them struggle against Cornell early in the year, losing by 6 at halftime. A few weeks later, they defeated St. Francis by only 6. Although Syracuse is undefeated, many of their wins are by less than 10. They seem to play down to their competition and that may haunt them come tournament time.
I had to laugh during the Syracuse game vs. Duke last week. The 'Cuse is up by 3 with seconds left. Duke inbounds the ball. In the background, Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim is waving to his players; his left hand is waving to go right, his right hand waving to go left. I guess he wanted to cover all bases. At least that what it looked like when I was watching it live.
I remember Boeheim just starting at Syracuse back in the 70's. I was a freshman at SUNY Cortland in the fall of 1976: 30 miles and $15,000 to the south. It was the dawn of the Bouie 'N Louie era at Syracuse.

I haven't yet heard what band we'll have on Friday to finish up our week of Beatles, but I hear they may play "Revolution #9."

Update: Snow last night, turned to ice . . . and now all that snow that's been hanging on to building ledges is beginning to let loose. I imagine there will be a lot of head-bonking throughout the day. And I also expect the George Washington Bridge might be closed due to the ice falling from the overhead suspensions. That always makes the evening commute a real treat.

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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