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Monday, March 31, 2014 The real Royal Family photo revealed!
Show #4007
Cobie Smulders, Nick Cannon, and Manchester Orchestra.
PLUS: the Royal Family; John Boehner expresses his love; Kim Jong-Un’s hair; the internet turns 25; a Top Ten list; and Dave attempts to tweet.

“ . . . and now, here to sing the National Anthem . . . . . . . . David Letterman!”

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE:

-“’Noah’ is a big hit at the box office, though some doubt its accuracy. At each port, the animals were allowed to get off and shop.”

How about the Royal family! There was a family photo of them looking out the window of their home. There’s Kate, and William, and George at their window. The camera widens to reveal they live at a bit of a rundown neighborhood. Looks like the working class neighborhood of Birmingham. When you’re just starting out, you gotta do what you gotta do.

And now about a word from the Speaker of the House, John Boehner. We take a gander at Boehner working his lawn mower. It’s a push mower and he’s doing it all by himself. Good for him. At the end, he stops, rests, and exclaims, “I love green grass.”
I’m with Boehner on that. I don’t need to have the greenest lawn in the neighborhood; only greener than my neighbor to the immediate left and immediate right. And if you’re wondering, Boehner is pronounced “Boner boner boner boner boner boner.”

Kim Jong-Un . . . it’s said that every male in North Korea has to get the Kim Jong-Un haircut. We take a look at the KJU tress. Here in the States you don’t want to ask for the Kim Jong-Un. We call it the Sleeping Woodchuck. It’s sort of how it was during World War II. We didn’t put sauerkraut on our hotdogs, we called it liberty cabbage. This is what America great. We can wear our hair anyway we want. We then take a look at Donald Trump. Yup, you can even have your hair cut just like Donald Trump.

Celebrity birthday last week . . . the internet turned 25. We take a look at his special announcement highlighting the highlights of the internet.
ANNOUNCE: "I, Tim Berners-Lee, inventor of the World Wide Web, propose the following Internet Bill of Rights:
-Amendment One: freedom of speech, no matter how unpopular or contested
-Amendment Two: freedom of privacy: liberated from those who track data without consent
-Amendment Three: freedom of preference: able to research any subject of interest, including female bodybuilders
-Amendment Four: freedom from shame: the shame of being chastised for studying female bodybuilders on a public library computer, even though that's perfectly legal
-Amendment Five: freedom to connect, frankly and affectionately, with female bodybuilders all over the world, and
-Amendment Six: freedom of companionship... the kind of warm, safe, calming companionship that only female bodybuilders can provide"

And that’s why the internet was created. What, GeneX isn’t good enough?

ACT 2:
TOP TEN: OTHER NICKNAMES CONSIDERED BY PUFF DADDY
– He’s gone from Sean Combs, to Puff Daddy, to P.Diddy, to Diddy, and now back to Puff Daddy.
9. Dame Diddy Dench
7. Need A. Hitty
5. G. Gordon Diddy

During the Top Ten, Dave turns and takes out his laptop. He attempts to tweet something. Unfortunately, something’s run amok. It’s not quite working to his satisfaction. Nancy comes running over to fix it. It’s a mouse issue. She gets it running right. I never pictured Nancy the computer nerd. Dave tweets something out to the masses. It includes a hashtag. He’s looking for some Top Ten entries. Dave tweeted out a Top Ten Topic. He’s looking to you for some ideas to fill it out. Hey! There’s my chance!

Oh, and if you send something in, he’s doesn’t want “assface” or “Suck it” or “You blow” . . . no matter how tempting or appropriate you may think it to be.

COBIE SMULDERS
She’s in the big Captain America movie coming out this Friday. And earlier tonight, she was in the series finale of “How I Met Your Mother.” Big stuff! The very last one was on earlier tonight. What took place on the show? Well, she doesn’t want to say NOW because in our time, the show hadn’t aired yet. It was only 5:00-ish EST here. We still had to wait another 3 hours and in this age of twitter and facebook and myspace, she was afraid the thrilling conclusion could be leaked.
After 9 seasons, the HIMYM has come to an end. The biggest thrill to Cobie being on the show for 9 years was being employed on one television show for 9 years. I’m with ya, sister. Not many people have the luxury of working in television for any length of time, but doing one show continuously for 9 years is a home run . . . a walk-off grand slam home run. The show was created by two former Late Show writers, Carter and Craig. I have to admit, I wasn’t sorry to see them go because I never could figure out which one was Craig and which one was Carter. And I’m not sure if it’s Carter Bays and Craig Thomas or Craig Bays and Carter Thomas. Hopefully they don’t think of coming back to the Late Show because I don’t want the added stress of having to say, “Hey, Carter!” and finding out later it was Craig. Who needs that?
A lot of the original crew is still there from the beginning. And who can blame them? At the beginning when everything was new, there were a lot of after-work parties. It was new and exciting . . . and everyone was 10 years younger. Things slowed down a bit over the years, but it picked up again in this final season. I’m sure there were a lot of “Honey, I’m working late tonight” phone calls from the staff.

Cobie hasn’t slowed down even though the “How I Met Your Mother” thing has come to a conclusion. She is now starring in the big blockbuster “Captain America: The Winter Soldier.” We take a look at a clip. Ooops. How did that happen? We view some Shecky footage of an old Captain America program. And then the control room scrambles to find the right clip.
“Captain America: The Winter Soldier” – it opens this Friday.
“How I Met Your Mother” – the series finale can be seen . . . . doh, you missed it!

ACT 4:
We had one thing planned . . . and then another thing . . . and then Dave decided to explain his twitter attempt. During the break, he was told he didn’t actually twitter a tweet. He mistakenly typed out “hashtag” instead of using an actual hashtag. Dave was scolded by those comfortable enough to scold him that no one will know what he is talking about when and if they come upon his tweet. Dave response was, “Oh, gee . . . . but you know, I don’t care! I forgot, I don’t care.” What happens if Dave sends something out without the proper hashtag? Nancy explains it is like sending out a letter without an address. (Kids, ask your parents what a letter is.) Dave chuckles at the thought of sending a letter out without an address. That’s ridiculous, sending out a letter without an address. It’ll never get to the intended . . . unless 7you’re Kris Kringle in “Miracle on 34th Street.” (Kids, ask your grandparents’ what “Miracle on 34th Street” is.)
Personally, I know nothing about the hashtags.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: “Dial us up again tomorrow as Dave welcomes Kristin Chenoweth, Amy Schumer, and JOHNNYSWIM. You won’t find all that in some so-called ‘book’”

ACT 6:
NICK CANNON

He’s the host of “America’s Got Talent” and Nick also has a new album coming out entitled, “White People Party Music.” Is party music for white people different from black people? Nick says of course there is a difference.
White people dance, and kiss and lend money to each other. That may be true, but I’m not aware of such. I’m usually busy at the bar. We see a promo shot of Nick for the album in white face. He explains it was all done in fun. It was just for laughs. He did hear a lot of protest, but he thinks most of it was based on his white-face name, “Conor Smallnut”.
Nick is the dad to 3-year-old twins. He says it’s the perfect age and wants to freeze his kids at that age. I know what he’s talking about, but it doesn’t end there. My daughters are now 18. When I see young moms and dads with their kids, no matter the age of the young ‘uns I find myself saying, “Oh, that was a good age” . . . . up until 7th and 8th grade. Things tend to become less innocent and sweet. You pretty much have to duck and cover until they go away to college. That’s the time parents relearn to appreciate their kids and kids learn to appreciate their parents a little.

“America’s Got Talent” returns this summer. “White People Party Music” is in stores Tuesday.

ACT 7:
MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA

From their new album, “Cope,” Manchester Orchestra performed the hard rock and rolling “Cope.”

And that was our show for Monday, March 31, 2014.

It’s the cold and flu season. As soon as the ice and cold leave, germs feel free to come out of hiding to descend upon us. Dave sounded a bit of the frog tonight. A couple staffers didn’t make it in today. And I felt a dry ping in the back of my throat at 3:45 PM. I hope it goes no further.

TOP TEN: OTHER NICKNAMES CONSIDERED BY PUFF DADDY
I scribbled out a few just in case some from the first ten weren’t approved.
-Diddy P?
-Here kitty, kitty, pih-kitty
-Silly Putty
-Shh Itty
-Larry
-Diddy Daddy, next on “Maury”

I’m flipping through the channels the other day and I stop on the TCM to watch a bit of “The Mouse That Roared”. “The Mouse” is a 1959 cold war comedy film starring Peter Sellers. I stopped to watch because I remember it being shown at St. Augustine’s School back in the early to mid-60s in the school cafeteria. I remember it because it was such a departure from the norm for St. Augustine’s. Fun and laughs in the school cafeteria? Heavens, me! The cafeteria was reserved for silent lunching while listening to classical music on the record player. And on Sundays this is where we would attend mass. Anyway, back to “The Mouse That Roared.” “The Mouse” was a small nation that declared war on mighty America in the expectation of losing and then being provided with vast financial aid to rebuild the country. Somehow, events go awry and the small nation may actually end up victorious. So why am I talking about this?
Because this small nation, the “Mouse,’ is named Grand Fenwick. I immediately thought of Graham Fenwick-Jones, our CBS chief foreign correspondent with the British accent. Did our writers come up with the name Graham Fenwick from the movie “The Mouse That Roared”? I’ll be right back. I’m going to ask creator of Graham Fenwick-Jones, Mr. Joe Grossman.
ME: “Joe, did you come up with the name Graham Fenwick Jones from the movie, ‘The Mouse That Roared’?”
JOE: “. . . and you are . . . . . ?”
ME: “Mike, I write the Wahoo Gazette.”
JOE: “ . . . . . .”
ME: “It’s a blog I write about the show every . . . Graham Fenwick Jones. Is it from ‘The Mouse That Roared’?”
JOE: “No.”

The Yankee starting rotation of Sabathia, Kuroda, Nova, Tanaka and Pineda is the first starting rotation to each end in the letter A, excluding, of course, the Italian League

Infomercial pitchman Kevin Trudeau was found guilty of deception and cheating customers. He was sentenced
to 10 years in prison, or 5 easy-to-serve two-year terms.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Warren, New Jersey, out of American University and Ramapo High alum, it’s birthday boy Andy Albert.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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