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Thursday, April 24, 2014 Alan brings his "daughter" to work.
Show #4017
Neil Patrick Harris, Sarah Hyland, and Ray LaMontagne.
PLUS: The Wheel Well Kid; Take Your Sons and Daughters To Work Day; Michael Pineda Explanation; Dave Tweets; a Top Ten List; and Dave Wakes a Sleeping Viewer.

" . . . . . and now, muy muy caliente . . . . . . . . David Letterman."

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE
- "Today is 'Take Your Sons and Daughters To Work Day.' I have my sons and daughters here today; Tina, Nancy, and Frank Jr." I still not sure why I like that reference, but I get a good chuckle out of it each time Dave goes there.

You've heard about that kid who hid in the wheel well of an airplane. The airlines are trying to make sure it never happens again. We take a look at some of their ideas.
ANNOUNCE: "After a teenager rode in the wheel well of a plane, the airline industry is looking for ways to prevent such incidents from happening again.
Option 1: Add new security features to every plane. Cost: billions of dollars.
Option 2: Wait a few years and most kids will be too fat to fit in a wheel well."
We cut to a shot of a portly kid trying to squeeze himself into an airplane's wheel well.
ANNOUNCE: "Cost: Free. A message from the FAA, a subsidiary of FatCo."

Dave looks over to our announcer, Alan Kalter. He is with someone.
DAVE: "Oh, look! It's Alan. Alan, is that your daughter?"
Standing next to the smiling Alan is a young, pretty lass. She doesn't seem all that interested in Alan or the show.
ALAN: (since it sounds good to him) "Yes, it is."
DAVE: "Alan, I didn't know you had a daughter."
ALAN: "Well, I guess that would be none of my business, wouldn't it?"

I know, it didn't make much sense to me either.

Here's something fun! In last night's Yankee/Red Sox game, Yankee pitcher Michael Pineda was found with pine tar on his neck to give him an advantage when applied to his pitching hand. He has a good explanation, though. We take a look and listen.
ART CARD: "MICHAEL PINEDA: THE REAL STORY"
ANNOUNCE: "Michael Pineda claims his body has been oozing pine tar ever since he was bitten by a radioactive pine tree, giving him a pine tree's proportional strength and stickiness. 'The Amazing Pine Tree-Man,' in theaters everywhere May 2nd."

ACT 2:
Back from commercial, we find Dave hunching over his laptop trying to twitter a tweet. Not quite adept with the computer fad, the equally-aged Bill Scheft hurries over to get some screen time and to help. The two manage to send out a tweet. Why it took so long is because I think they were looking for an aerial.

TOP TEN: THOUGHTS GOING THROUGH PRESIDENT OBAMA'S MIND AT THIS MOMENT
While in Japan, the President was treated to a robot demonstration at the Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation. We take a look at a robot hopping about for the President. It's how all underlings should behave when around the boss.

THOUGHTS GOING THROUGH PRESIDENT OBAMA'S MIND AT THIS MOMENT
10. "I wonder if Biden can do this"
9. "I'm gonna need some more sake"
8. "Is it broken?"
7. "Will this take hopping jobs away from Americans?"
6. "Oh, look at the time"
5. "I should never have left Kenya"
4. "This thing better shoot fireworks out its ass"
3. "Still more entertaining than Letterman"
2. "Yeah, well I wonder if he can walk up and down stairs?"
1. "White robot -- any relation to Mitt Romney?"

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS
One of the hardest working people in show business, NPH is now starring in the new Broadway production of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch at the Belasco Theater. Dave is happy for Neil Patrick for his rave reviews in "Hedwig." Dave feels the high acclaim one receives in a rave review for a live Broadway musical production may be at the top accolade in all of show business.
Neil plays an almost woman, almost David Bowie, almost Iggy Pop, who is almost famous who is searching completion in hopes of making her feel whole. Lots of lively and nasty songs with a lot of audience interaction. He's worked the Tony Awards in front of a live theater but in this, there is no rest. There's no performance, then a break to allow another to take over. Neil is on from start to finish. The break comes only at the curtain close . . . and then they have to do it all over again the next night. It takes some getting used to.
There is a lot of interacting with the audience in Hedwig. The other night he actually "motor-boated a heavy-set dude." Near the end of another performance, in a quiet, meaningful, part of the musical, someone yelled out "I love you, Neil!" Neil stayed in his German character and asked the orchestra, "Who the hell is 'Neil'?" He then admonished the audience member, remaining in character.
Neil is the dad to 3-year-old twins. 3-year-olds will do just about anything, always experimenting, always testing. Neil took them in the subway recently. One decided this would be a good time to lick the subway. Neil saw it coming but life fell into slow-motion as it happened. Neil saw himself slowly jumping forward and yelling, "Noooooooooooo!" but it was too late. For some reason, Dave received incredible glee over the thought of Neil's son licking a subway pole. Licking a subway pole . . . that's too bad, but at least the two of them got a story for life out of it.

"Hedwig and the Angry Inch" - now at the Belasco Theater. Dave jokes that he would like to see Hedwig and Rocky: The Musical in a boxing match. Are you listening, Tony people?

ACT 4:
Dave and Paul talk about NPH in Hedwig. Dave then notices something odd. He looks into the camera lens. Dave gets up to take a closer look. He peers inside the lens . . . and then reaches inside the lens. We see Dave's hand come out through a television screen in a sleeping man's bedroom. The hand finds the remote and turns the TV on. Dave shouts at the sleeping fellow, "Hey! Wake up! The show . . . there's only 20 more minutes. Don't go back to sleep." The groggy guy sits up with a start and attempts to stay awake for the rest of the show.

Listen, people, we don't care if you fall asleep in front of the TV set while watching the show. Just please keep the TV on. We need it for the Nielsen numbers.

For your records: Playing the part of the sleepy guy, art director Mark Erbaugh

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "We'll see you tomorrow when Dave welcomes Michael J. Fox, Piedmont Bird Callers, and Naughty Boy, featuring Sam Smith. Coming up, did you know there's a right way and a wrong way to blink? Our medical experts have the details."

ACT 6:
SARAH HYLAND
From the very popular, "Modern Family." Sarah, 23, admits to being a bit of a Disney-geek-freak. She loves the place, both Disneyland and Disney World. She's been there about 30 times. And she's an all-day-er. She recently went with her friend, Taylor Swift . . . yeah, that one . . . and Taylor was gone in a couple hours. Not Sarah. She can spend hours there, even if just to trade pins with other tourists. I think pin-trading is about people who collect pins, like state pins, and trade them with people from other states. I never really heard of it, but for it to be successful, I guess you need at least two people with pins. Sarah says she is sometimes recognized when she goes to Disney and will wear a baseball hat to hide her identity, but then other times she can't help it and has to go with the Mickey ears. Dave asks about the Bear Jamboree. He wrinkles his nose and says it isn't much. In fact, he says "It stinks." Sarah doesn't disagree all that much.

"Modern Family" - Wednesdays at 9:00 PM on ABC.

"Modern Family" has become my new "Seinfeld." A great go-to for 22 minutes of laughs at almost any time of day. Very very few shows I enjoy as much as "Modern Family."

ACT 7:
RAY LAMONTAGNE
From his new album, "Supernova," the Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter performed an enjoyable "Supernova."

And that was our show for Thursday April 24, 2014.

My favorite Disney attraction? The people walking around eating those huge Flintstone turkey legs.

I remember Neil Patrick Harris when he was just a 13-year-old doctor, Doogie Howser, not to be mistaken for "James at 15." My niece Laura was a very young lass at the time Doogie was popular. She would like to pretend a lot. If she were in a "Wizard of Oz" mode, she would not answer to anything except "Dorothy." And she would call others in the rom Tin Man, Scarecrow, Lion, etc. You never quite knew where she would be in her mind from day to day. So Laura and her dad, Howie, are out house shopping. The real estate agent is showing Howie around the house. Meanwhile, Laura is being a typical child wanting her daddy's attention. She keeps calling him "Doogie." "Doogie, can I go in here? Doogie, can I go outside? Doogie, can I go to the bathroom?" Dad is trying his best to ignore her usual fantasy. He has a house on his mind. The real estate agent is pitching the house the best she can. Dad then stops her suddenly and says, "Why are you calling me 'Doogie'?" The agent, who has been calling Howie, "Doogie," says, "Isn't that your name? It's what your daughter calls you." He tried to explain, then decided if the agent wanted to call him Doogie, that would be fine. I still call him Doogie now and then.

Note to friends: with my twin daughters going to college in September, all future social drinking will take place in-house. No more going out. And it'll be "Bring Your Own." And none of that bringing-your-beer-in-a-cooler business. I'm on to that trick. I'll supply the ice and coolers. You see, what people have been starting to do is bring over beer in their own cooler. This way when it's time to go, they take their cooler and their un-drinked beer back home with them. If they just bring a case, I put the beer in my cooler and when it's time to leave, they go home empty-handed, the way it's supposed to be. Be wary of those who drop by with beer in a cooler from home. They pretend they are doing you a favor, but you should know better.

The worst part of riding the wheel well of a plane? The in-flight movie is usually a Steven Seagal.

Some are wondering if Yankee manager Joe Girardi was aware that his pitcher Michael Pineda had pine tar on his neck while out on the mound. Of course he knew! And I knew that Girardi knew right when the umpire investigation was taking place Wednesday night. The home plate umpire was approached by the Boston manager and was asked to check the pitcher for the foreign substance. The home plate umpire approached the mound and was joined by the other umpires. The Yankee infielders gathered around the gathering. And Yankee manager Joe Girardi remained in the dugout. I knew something was up then. Managers are very protective of their pitchers' psyche and always want to guard against any unnecessary disruption that may flummox their concentration. Girardi should have jumped out of the dugout as soon as the home plate umpire started to the mound to field any questions aimed at Pineda, like a defense lawyer. But Girardi remained in the dugout. He knew what was up. Still, he should have been out there anyway.

Here's something you can do to waste time . . . Friday's Top Ten is . . . if it stays in . . . is "TOP TEN WAYS TO IMPRESS SOMEONE ON A FIRST DATE" - a recent study claims you have 12 minutes to make a favorable impression on a first date. Write your own and compare with ours.

And now it's time for LATE NIGHT THE DAY THEY WERE BORN
Sarah Hyland was born November 24, 1990. What happened on Late Night the day Sarah Hyland was born?
November 24th was a Saturday. So, what happened on Late Night on the Monday after Sarah Hyland was born?
LATE NIGHT, November 26, 1990: It was a repeat from November 1, 1989. You would have seen:

LATE NIGHT, November 1, 1989 (#1216): Julie Brown; Billy Bragg (performed "Help Save the Youth of America" and home base chat); and Harmon Baker, the "Baffling Mr. Baker," a 102-year-old magician (bumped from October 31, 1989). Also: Dave calls chess master Garry Kasparov in Paris for Chess Move #3; the Top Ten Things the Reagans Did in Japan for $2 Million -- the lights suddenly go out, so Dave goes to the fuse box and discovers that Gene Shalit blew the fuse while drying his air; and Results of History Test: Audience vs. High School Students, with a call from Mercury Astronaut Gordon Cooper.

And that's what happened on LATE NIGHT two days after Sarah Hyland was born

Thank you, Le Donz, for the above.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Ireland, it's Gary Clifford
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike


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Chris Pratt
Judy Greer
Rodrigo y Gabriela
Mindi Abair

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