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Friday, April 25, 2014 What does Michael J. Fox say about his middle initial?
Show #4018
Michael J. Fox, Piedmont Bird Callers, and Naughty Boy featuring Sam Smith.
PLUS: First Ladies on TV; Pat Farmer with something on his neck; cloning the extinct, another tweet; and a Top Ten list.

“ . . . . . and now, the eighth wonder of the world . . . . . . . David Letterman!”

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE

-“New York City is installing a swimming pool IN the East River. Only New York City could spend $50 million to install a body of water in a body of water.”
- Next, they’re going to install a sandbox at the beach.
-“A menu from the Titanic is being auctioned at $135,000. Ironically, the menu featured iceberg lettuce.”
-Al Pacino’s birthday. He’s famous for the line, ‘Say hello to my little friend.’ (“Scarface”) The line was later made popular by Anthony Weiner.”

This week, the White House announced that Michelle Obama will make a cameo in an upcoming episode of the ABC series, “Nashville.” This won’t be the first time a sitting First Lady has appeared on television, though. We take a look at some others.
-We see Nancy Reagan on “Diff’rent Strokes” – 1983.
-We see Betty Ford on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” – 1976
-We see Lady Bird Johnson catching a touchdown pass in the 1967 NFL/AFL Championship game for the Kansas City Chiefs.
Who knew?

We find Pat Farmer standing next to Dave.
DAVE: “Look, everyone, it’s Pat Farmer. How are you, Pat?”
PAT: “Fine, Dave. You?”
DAVE: “Good, thanks. What are you here . . . oh, I see what this is. You’ve got some pine tar on your neck. You’re going to do a joke about the Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda. Right?”
PAT: (checking what’s on his neck) “Oh, look at that. This is probably barbecue sauce from my Easter barbecue last Sunday.” (Pat tastes the stuff on his neck) “Yep, that’s exactly what it is.”
DAVE: “Well, Pat, we’re right in the middle of the show. Why did you come out here?
” PAT: “Whoa, whoa, Dave. You interrupted me. I’ll be around if you remember why.”
Pat exits.

This is exciting . . . animals that became extinct centuries ago could be brought back to life by cloning their DNA. Scientists released this announcement about it.
ANNOUNCE: “Scientists at universities in the United States and Australia are working hard to bring long-extinct species back to life, with the possibility of reintroducing them into the wild. These animals include:
-The passenger pigeon (photo)
-The Tasmanian tiger (photo)
-And the original Bruce Jenner (photo of the new Jenner, and the Jenner from the 70s.)
A message from Science – we do things because we can.”

ACT 2:
Back from commercial, we find Dave hard at work on another tweet. Again, he’s having a bit of trouble. Bill Scheft runs over to help. Paul immediately realizes a problem: neither of the once-young can see the twitter screen. After the tweet, Dave explains that the most powerful woman in the world is . . . . . Dairy Queen. So powerful is she there is no need for a Dairy King. After some enthusiastic pleasantries about the ice cream powerhouse His tweet: “Free stuff from Dairy Queen please!!!” I’ll be coming in early on Monday. Hope it’s Dilly bars. Remember my Dilly Bar/Letterman story? Check out the Wahoo Archives from January 13, 2011.

TOP TEN: WAYS TO IMPRESS SOMEONE ON A FIRST DATE -
– a recent study claims you have 12 minutes to make a favorable impression on a first date.

WAYS TO IMPRESS SOMEONE ON A FIRST DATE
10. Invite mom along to talk you up.
9. Encourage your date to have any value meal she wants
8. Playfully try to guess her dress size
7. Unless your name is Vince, don’t act all Vince-y
6. Tell her you flew out of Albuquerque
5. Don’t mention you invaded Ukraine (Vladimir Putin only)
4. Suggest going somewhere quiet, like a cemetery or rock quarry
3. Bring reference letters from your exes
2. Show you’re street smart by asking if she’s a cop
1. Walk her home, and if it feels right, kiss her pets

ACT 3:
PIEDMONT BIRD CALLERS
- These are the winners of the 49th annual Piedmont, California’s High School Bird Calling Competition.

BIRD CALLERS #1
Elliot Gordon and Walter Le Duy – 3rd place finishers.
Elliot is a junior and plans on attending an acting workshop in Los Angeles this summer, or go to Sweden to look at colleges. Dave laughs and wonders why there is even a question.
Walter works in theater and will be going to Scotland for two weeks for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Sweden . . . Scotland . . . it reminds me of me when I was a Junior in high school except for the Sweden and Scotland. Bird Call: Elliot and Walter perform the snowy egret. It’s hard to recreate their performance here, but imagine what you would sound like if you got a chicken bone stuck in your throat and you were trying to hack it out.

Elliot Gordon . . . I wished Dave had asked if he was named after Gordon Elliot. I mentioned that to someone and I got a long dissertation about what Gordon Elliot is doing now. He’s making a ton of money producing cooking shows. There you go.

BIRD CALLERS #2
Gabe Bolio, James Clifford, and Eli Nash – 2nd place.
They came in first place last year, but this year tried a more difficult call and came in 2nd. Dave isn’t sure that’s such a bad thing since a lot of people think a dynasty could ruin the competition.
Gabe is going to Scotland this summer for that theater thing.
James will be attending Auburn University to take Civil Engineering. Eli will be attending USC to take up writing for film and television. That’s fine, Eli, but real men write on the internet for an unread TV show blog. Bird Call: red-necked Grebe - It’s hard to recreate their performance here, but imagine what my car sounds like when I try to start it in the winter.

BIRD CALLERS #3
Jasmine Nadim, Katie Cummins, and Sami Barney – 1st place
Jasmine is a senior and will be attending American University to study political science.
Katie is a senior and is undecided what she’ll major in at San Diego State. You can’t go wrong going to San Diego State, unless you go wrong.
Sami is a senior and is undecided where she will attend college. She will study education. Dave suggests Ball State. It’s every teenagers dream to spend time in Muncie, isn’t it?
Bird Call: the cockatiel - It’s hard to recreate their performance here, but imagine what a cockatiel sounds like and that’s what it sounded like. This was actually pretty good!

To conclude, Dave brings them all together to perform. It looked and sounded like the dance floor at my high school prom.

ACT 4:
MICHAEL J. FOX

We’ve had Michael J. here many times. What does the “J” stand for? What is Michael’s middle name? Mike offers, “Genuine.” And then “Genius.” Obviously, he was joking. His middle name is Andrew. And he’s not joking. When Michael went to join the actors union, there already was a Michael Fox. He didn’t want to sign as Michael A. Fox, thinking it was too presumptuous. Michael J. Fox sounded fine and he went with that. Now you know.

Michael has a funny story about appearing on the Red Carpet for the Golden Globes. E! was doing their red carpet meet and greet with the arriving celebrities. When a celebrity would be spotted, E! would splash a Fun Fact on the screen about the star. The Fun Facts would be something like: “Fiona Apple has a daughter named Apple.” Michael’s Fun Fact by E!: “Michael J. Fox was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in 1991.” Says Michael, “It’s not really a fun fact!” Michael’s publicist found out about it and gave E! a good talking-to. He really laid into them, giving them some fun facts of his own. The apologized profusely, wrote Michael an apology, made a donation to his Foundation, and sent him a box of Gummi Bears. A lot of people were upset on Michael’s behalf, but he didn’t think much of it. There are bigger problems out there than this not so fun “Fun Fact” graphic on E!

Dave has questions about Michael’s Parkinson’s. April is Parkinson’s Awareness Month. The goal is to find that bio-marker, that early indication that one has the Parkinson’s . . . what . . Parkinson’s gene? Parkinson’s predisposition? The bio-marker will allow an much much early indicator of the disease. Right now, an early diagnosis is not much more than the ability to touch your nose. By then, the individual is well into the disease. When Michael was first diagnosed 22 years ago, he had already lost 80% of the dopamine in his brain that controls muscle movement. With a bio-marker, detection could be made years earlier and treatment can begin then. Plus, finding that bio-marker could likely lead to the cure. You can’t find the cure until you find the cause. The Michael J. Fox Foundation For Parkinson’s Research has raised $450 million. To learn more about his wonderful foundation, go to www.michaeljfox.org

Michael J. Fox – he has a recurring role on “The Good Wife” – Sunday nights at 9 PM.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: “We’ll look for you again Monday when Dave has Joel McHale, and Aloe Blacc. And now, Humor For People Who Make Inexpensive Building Materials. ‘Particle Board? More like particle bored.’”

ACT 7:
NAUGHTY BOY, FEATURING SAM SMITH

From Naughty Boy’s debut album, “Hotel Cabana,” the young recording artist, also featuring Sam Smith, performed “La La La.”

And that was our show for Friday, April 25, 2014.

I have a tendency to see things that aren’t there. In this case . . . the cockatiel. Often, just saying the word “cockatoo” or “cockatiel” will bring giggles from those with the mind of a pre-pubescent. But am I the only one who giggled at the photo of the cockatiel along with its name “Cockatiel” immediately followed by its Latin name, “Nymphus Hollandicus”? Cockatiel and nymph? Tee hee.

And speaking of seeing things that few others do, do you realize that if we had shows last week, April 14th would have been Show #4014; April 15 Show #4015; April 16 Show #4016; April 17 Show #4017, and April 18 Show #4018. Wow! How about that! Still, I’m glad we had off.

Pat Farmer’s interrupt with barbecue sauce on his neck from last Sunday’s cookout reminded me of a story. I was in the NYPD at the time. I decided to shave right before roll call. I hurried downstairs to find my squad already lined up in formation. The sergeant was preparing the roll. Also out in front was the captain. Ooh, the captain. I take my place and the sergeant gives me a little dig by pointing out that I still had some shaving cream on my neck. He then decides to throw in a funny: “Did I embarrass you in front of the Captain, McIntee?” I said, “It’s worse than that . . . I shaved yesterday!”
Hey-Ohhh! I was still a bit of a newbie but that got me some points with the hairbags.

I must admit I sometimes feel as if I am the dad, Steven Keaton, of “Family Ties” and my daughters are Michael J’s character, Alex. My girls are real into studying and getting grades and achieving, but as a guest once said, “with a healthy dose of dislike” for their parents. Meanwhile, I’m telling them to chill, take it easy, it’s only a test, and come have a beer with . . . oh, that’s right, it’s 21 now. You know how some parents say, “I don’t know where I failed?” Well, I find myself saying, “I don’t know where I succeeded?” Probably when I got married.

I can’t remember who said their kids had a health amount of dislike for their parents. I’m thinking John Malkovich, or Dana Carvey. To be continued.

I can’t believe Dave made us work on Arbor Day.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Bob from Norwalk with the line of the day
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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