Former Sgt. Kyle White, Judy Greer, and Dierks Bentley.
PLUS: new words in the Merriam-Webster; options at the First Interstate Bank; newly-found footage of Rush Limbaugh; and a Top Ten list.
“ . . . and now, a glutton for gluten . . . . . . David Letterman!”
-“It’s Fleet Week. 1,500 sailors in town to protect us from Godzilla.”
-“I love Fleet Week. It’s the one time of year I don’t feel self-conscious about wearing my sailor suit.”
Once again, some new words have been added to the dictionary. We take a look at this announcement from Merriam-Webster.
ANNOUNCE: “Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary has been revised to include 150 modern words, including hashtag, steampunk, tweep, selfie, and many more. Unfortunately, to make room for these new words, we had to discontinue some old favorites, including chair, beverage, rotate, chipmunk, tomorrow, apologize, and bucket.
We . . . express regret for the inconvenience.
Merriam-Webster. The Word Book People.”
A man in Tennessee was arrested for having sex with an ATM. It seems he probably had some other options, though. We watch.
ANNOUNCE: “Looking to have sex at the bank? At most banks nowadays, your only option is to have sex with the ATM. But at First Interstate Bank, we’re adding extra drive-thru lanes with high-powered pneumatic tubes, combining the convenience you expect with the suction you crave.
First Interstate: Your first choice for deposits and withdrawals.”
Rare footage of FDR walking was found. And rare footage of Rush Limbaugh in an early radio broadcast was also uncovered. We take a look. We see a black-and-white grainy video of a heavy guy sitting in an office chair. He rolls backwards. The chair decides it’s had enough and stops. Rush does not. He topples over backwards in the chair.
That’s what happens when you don’t buy America-Made.
Dave welcomes and thanks the servicemen and women in our audience tonight, in town for Fleet Week over the Memorial Day Weekend.
TOP TEN: THOUGHTS GOING THROUGH THE MIND OF THE GUY WHO HAD SEX WITH AN ATM
10. “Good thing ATMs don’t have security cameras.”
9. “It might be too crumpled to insert”
8. “I hope it take small denominations.”
7. “Do you need more time? No, I do not.”
6. “You bet I want another transaction”
5. “Gotta get a receipt to show the fellas”
4. “Next time we’ll do it en espanol”
3. “I hear these things also dispense cash”
2. “I’m a regular New Gingrich” (vt of Newt doing it with a soda machine)
1. “The banks have screwed me for decades.”
FORMER SGT KYLE WHITE
The 7th living service member since Vietnam to receive the United States Military’s most prestigious award, the Medal of Honor.
Kyle was born and raised in Seattle, Washington, and now resides in Charlotte, North Carolina.
He joined the army in 2006 right out of high school. When he told his father he was going to join the Marines, his dad, an Army guy, gave him a what-for in no uncertain terms. Kyle decided to join the Army instead. After basic training, Kyle found himself in the northeast corner of the mountainous Afghanistan. Dave has Kyle walk through his early days there. In November of 2007, a team of Americans and Afghan soldiers met with the elders of a local village. The turnout was larger than usual. Late, chatter over the radio was a language no one was familiar with. It was a red flag and they decided to leave the area. On their exit, they were ambushed. Kyle takes us step-by-step of what took place. At one point, he lost consciousness. And then Kyle says what so many in that situation have done; the training kicked in. He felt he wasn’t going to make it out alive. Time and again, Kyle exposed himself to the gunfire onslaught to assist those who had been wounded. The firefight lasted over 4 hours and Kyle suffered two concussions. Six U.S. soldiers were killed. Kyle wears a bracelet with their names. The bracelet motivates Kyle when he is feeling down or facing a hard time. He says he looks at the bracelet and it reminds him that those guys wouldn’t be complaining if they could be here right now.
About a year after the ambush, Kyle told his command that he needed help. He was diagnosed with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). Upon leaving the military, Kyle entered college and now works as an investment analyst with the Royal Bank of Canada.
Those who died as a result of the November 9, 2007 ambush – note their age:
-Captain Matthew C. Ferrara (age 24) of Torrance, California
-Sgt. Phillip A. Bocks USMC (age 28) of Troy, Michigan
-Sgt. Jeffrey S. Mersman (age 23) of Parker, Kansas
-Cpl. Sean K.A. Langevin (age 23) of Walnut Creek, California
-Cpl. Lester G. Roque (age 23) of Torrance, California
-Spc. Joseph M. Lancour (age 23) of Swartz Creek, Michigan.
“We’re loaded up tomorrow with Dave and his guests Stephen Colbert, Robin Roberts, and Kelis. Coming up next, steps you can take now to protect your pets from identity theft.”
From . . . a whole lot of show and movies. It’s why she’s written the book, “I Don’t Know What You Know Me From.” Judy says people come up to her all the time. They recognize her, but don’t know from where, from what. She admits it took a lot of discipline to write the book, something she’s not too accustomed. Would she write another book? She’s love to, but this one book has just about everything she knows and everything she is. There’s not much left. There is one chapter in the book entitled, “I Used To Be More Ugly”. We see two photos of Judy; one from a party she threw as a young girl. Everyone had to show up as Madonna (not the Virgin one). Another photo was from her high school days. The hair is a bit wildly curly. Judy says if not under constant watch, her hair could go that way in a second.
Time was short for Judy. Her book, “I Don’t Know What You Know Me From: Confessions Of A Co-Star” is in stores now. Look for her on “Married,” “Arrested Development,” “Two and a Half Men,” “Californification,” and a whole bunch of other stuff.
From his most recent CD, “Riser,” the member of the Grand Ole Opry performed “Drunk On A Plane”
And that was our show for Wednesday, May 21, 2014.
The guy having sex with the ATM . . . I think he wanted to see if he could get paid for sex.
I’ll be packing up the car for my 3 days of camping. I’m already wondering what I’ll forget. The worst was the year I forgot the tent poles. Yeah, that wasn’t good. I always promise myself to make a master list but there never seems to be a good time to do it. My daughters will be coming this year, though I think they are going to meet me up there, about 2 hours north. The weekend with family and friends will include some hiking, perhaps a swim in the rushing mountain streams, and best of all . . . nothing. We’ll all be very busy doing nothing. And then I’ll hear the plaints of “Why can’t we get a camper?” I’m the last of the tenters. Everyone else in the group has a nice camper. But they all go camping more than me. I tell my girls I’m not going to get a camper for 3 days of camping a year.
And when I’m not hiking, swimming, or doing nothing, the rest of the time I’ll be trying to get the fire started.
Next Wednesday, I’ve been invited to take part in a golf outing. I haven’t been on a course in . . . at least ten years. One plus is that I’ve probably forgotten all my bad habits. I’ll be filling the time before the outing learning how to play the game, and praying for rain.
And now for my yearly pearl of advice: Don’t go to sleep on Memorial Day, because when you wake up it’ll be Labor Day. How will you remember the Summer of ’14?
Getting it done:
May 21, 1927 - Charles Lindbergh flies the Atlantic, landing in Paris to complete the world’s first solo nonstop flight across the ocean.
Five years later:
May 21, 1937 – Amelia Earhart lands in Northern Ireland to become the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean
The upcoming previously-viewed programs.
THURSDAY: From 4/22/14; #4015 – Stephen Colbert, Robin Roberts, and Kelis
FRIDAY: From 4/09/14; #4013 – Lindsay Lohan, Jamie Edwards, and Real Estate.
MONDAY 5/26 – From 5/02/14; #4023 – Don Rickles, Carmen Lynch, and The Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger
TUESTDAY 5/27 – From 5/15/14; #4032 – Adam Sandler, Thomas Haden Church, and Nightmare and The Cat.
WEDNESDAY 5/28 – From 5/08/14; #4027 – James Franco, and Idina Menzel.
THURSDAY 5/29 – From 5/06/14; #4025 – Jon Cryer, Elisabeth Olsen, and Foster the People. PLUS: Todd at the Kentucky Derby
FRIDAY 5/30 – From 5/05/14; #4024 – Shailene Woodley, and Peyton Manning.
Check the Wahoo Archives and make your plans accordingly.
Put your flag up! Wave it proud!
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From New Hampshire, it’s Portsmouth High School Clipper Lee Anne Fuller.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee