CBS

Show #3723

Emma Watson, Julie Chen, and Matchbox Twenty
PLUS: Political Twins in History; what's happening at the Convention; the new Obama campaign commercial; our team of political analysts standing by; Biff Henderson at the Democratic National Convention, and a Top Ten list presented by First Lady Michelle Obama.

" . . . and now, for proven pain relief . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE
- "The Republican Convention ended on Thursday. The Democratic Convention began last night. In between was a travel day for hookers."
- "Did you watch the speech by Michelle Obama at the Convention Tuesday night? It was powerful, it was exhilarating, it was thrilling, it was motivating. I thought to myself, 'She can do better than him.'"
- "Bill Clinton spoke tonight. He is still polling very well. I tell you, sometimes these jokes just write themselves."

Julian Castro spoke at the Democratic Convention Tuesday night. He's the mayor of San Antonio, but more important than that is he's Hispanic. His twin brother, Joaquin, is a congressman in Texas. This got us to thinking about other twins in political office. Dave had the staff put together the following: "The History of Political Twins."
ART CARD: "THE HISTORY OF POLITICAL TWINS."
ANNOUNCE: (a clip of Harry S. Truman) "In 1951, Harry Truman took the summer off, and secretly left his twin brother, Larry Truman, in charge."
We cut to a different shot of Harry's twin. He looks just like Harry, but in a Larry "3 Stooges" Fine wig.
ANNOUNCE: "You have reached the end of this comedy piece. Please rewind tape now."

The Democratic Convention is a 3-day all-day event. We take a look to see what is happening right now down in Charlotte.
We see a Mr. Bones clickety-clacking some wooden dowels using them as a musical instrument. Entertainment for some, I guess. Hey, these Conventions have a lot of time to fill. This is probably a good time for many of the conventioneers to go out for a smoke.
I'm surprised Mr. Bones is still around. A quick look in my database shows the first time we used Mr. Bones was in December 1999 in Dave's Video Collection. I went back to my December 21, 1999 Wahoo Gazette to read what I wrote. I didn't find mention of Mr. Bones, but then I didn't state all the clips from Dave's Video Collection. What I did find was on that very same show that featured Mr. Bones was Emma Watson . . . and she's on tonight, too!
Hold it! Wait! Ooops.. That was Emily Watson, not Emma Watson. Never mind.

Have you seen the new Obama campaign commercial? He's going right at Mitt. No holds barred.
ANNOUNCE: "Still voting for Mitt Romney? Have you considered this? You can't spell 'Romney' without 'Money.'" The word "Romney" on the screen morphs into "RMoney."
ANNOUNCE: "Take that, rich boy!"
BARACK OBAMA: (in mustache) "I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message, because I believe we're all in this together."

ACT 2:
BIFF HENDERSON AT THE DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION
We turn on the satellite to visit Biff who is down in Charlotte, North Carolina at the Democratic Convention. What's happening? Biff pauses, looks behind him at the convention crowd below, and says, "Not much." Did Biff watch the Michelle Obama speech the night before? Biff says he left early to beat the traffic but did watch from his motel room. Dave turns the conversation to barbecue. Biff is from the Tar Heel state and claims North Carolina has the best barbecue in the country. Texas may be known for their BBQ and Kansas City may be known for their BBQ but neither matches the BBQ of North Carolina. This gets Dave's mouth watering. Will Biff be bringing back from North Carolina barbecue?
Biff: "No."
Biff's report from the convention tonight has him talking to delegates. He tries to find someone to explain the Electoral College. Unfortunately, he conducts his Q&A with people on an escalator so we only get the every abridged version. And whenever an on-site convention report finds a lag, trying on the hats of delegates always works.
What are Biff's plans for tonight? Biff says he is going back to the motel to go to sleep.

TOP TEN: REASONS TO WATCH THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION - and to present tonight's Top Ten list, plausibly live, First Lady Michelle Obama
10. Spoiler alert: the Democrats will nominate Barack Obama
9. It's like having a crowded convention center right in your own living room
8. You don't have to be a Democrat to enjoy balloons
7. Finally, you get to see some coverage of the presidential campaign
6. As a healthy alternative, we're using low-fat confetti
5. If you were appearing at a national political convention, I'd watch
4. There will be no Kiss Cam
3. It's got to be better than what you're watching now
2. Joe Biden says it'll be 'a big' you-know-what 'deal'
1. At long last, I'll reveal who I'm voting for
To watch the presentation of the First Lady's Top Ten, visit the Late Show website. And be sure to read the Wahoo Gazette while you're there . . . if you can find it!

ACT 3:
EMMA WATSON
You know her from the Harry Potter films. She now stars in a new film, "The Perks of Being A Wallflower." Emma spent the summer in Iceland working on another film. She speaks very highly of the unique beauty of Iceland. Dave is curious about Iceland's reputation of a place of high alcoholic intake. Emma says they do indeed take their drinking very seriously. And they have an odd belief in elves and fairies. It probably stems from all the alcohol. Iceland was on my short list of places to visit. I noticed it was becoming the new cool place to visit, and it really isn't too far from New York . . . just a quick plane ride. And then the country went bankrupt or something. I still want to go, though. I want to spend a day with the drink until I actually see and elf.
Emma also spent time in Pittsburgh recently to work on a film. She arrived there from Paris so you can imagine her first impression. Not like Paris at all. But she soon saw the benefits Pittsburgh had to offer and rates it high on her list of interesting cities. Hey, I'm a fan of Pittsburgh, too. I hear their baseball stadium may be the best of them all.

Emma's new film, "The Perks of Being A Wallflower" opens in New York and Los Angeles on September 30th. In the film, Emma speaks without her lovely English accent, instead sounding very American. Dave sighs, "So you took a job away from an American?" Yes, she did but she's so sweet you can't get mad at her.

ACT 4:
The Democratic Convention is taking place in Charlotte, as we know, and we have complete coverage standing by in addition to Biff. Dave introduces our political analysts who appear one by one around Dave in the center.
DAVE: "We have James Cosgrove, Linda Snow, Frank Ramirez, Alex Petry, Sarah Worth, Randall Hodges, Holly Johnson, Todd Berger, Sandra McNally, and Roger Pearlman.. Thanks for joining us. What's the latest at the convention?
The grouping around Dave is eager to volunteer their thoughts. Unfortunately, they all speak at the same time. It's just noise . . . incoherent noise. But with limited time, it's the only way we could get to hear from all ten.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "We'd like to see you back here tomorrow when Dave welcomes Howard Stern, and Justin Aldean. Visit cbs.com/lateshow to watch Jason Aldean Live on Letterman. Jason's exclusive online concert form the Ed Sullivan Theater can be streamed on demand.
We'll be back with great new fall looks for conjoined twins."

ACT 6:
JULIE CHEN
She's the host of the CBS daytime talk show, "The Talk." Sharing the hosting duties are Sharon Osbourne, Sara Gilbert, Sheryl Underwood, and Aisha Tyler. Dave is curious about the show and asks if they have celebrity guests and if they talk about the hot topics of the day. Julie is pleased that Dave is so familiar with "The Talk." Yes, celebrities are on the show. Paul Shaffer was in the guest chair last December. For the hot topics, Julie says the show has a team of lawyers nearby at all times. She says they've learned you can say just about anything if you just include, "In my opinion."
Julie says "The Talk" is gaining a lot of men viewers. It gives them the chance to learn about women. Would a daytime talk show hosted by men work? "The Other Half!" dammit, "The Other Half!" I've been using "The Other Half" reference for years with little recognition from most. "The Other Half" was a daytime talk show modeled after "The View." It was hosted by Dick Clark as Barbara Walters, Danny Bonaduce as Joy Behar . . . . well, you get the idea. It didn't last.
The third season of "The Talk" premieres this Monday, September 10th. Julie and the hosts will be doing the show without makeup and without pre-show hairstyling. Oh, I'll be watching with my Chardonnay and Bon-Bons. How will we recognize Julie without her makeup and hair? She says she'll be the one who looks like a Chinese delivery boy.

ACT 7:
MATCHBOX TWENTY: They made their network television debut with us back in 1997. 15 million albums later, here they are. From their newest album, "North," Matchbox Twenty performed "She's So Mean."

And that was our show for Wednesday, September 5, 2012.

More on Mr. Bones, the clackety-clack guy. I did some research while writing this up. Yes, believe it or not the Wahoo Gazette involves research sometimes. I found the name of Mr. Bones to be Percy Danforth. Wow! There is a lot of stuff on the internets about Percy Danforth. Google him. Buy is instructional video on how to play the bones.

Harry S. Truman . . . For years I thought there was no period after the "S" in Harry S. Truman. Off the top of my head, I think the "S" was to honor his grandparents from both sides. It wasn't an abbreviation for one name, but for two, so no period was added. Now I'm hearing that the "no period" is just a myth. Let's google it and find out . . . .
Harry Truman signatures found at the Truman Library show many examples of the period included. The confusion may be traced back to 1962 when he told a news reporter that there is no period after S as a compromise between the names of his grandfathers, Anderson Shipp Truman and Solomon Young. He also once said the S was not an abbreviation but a name in itself, therefore no period was needed. Some believe the above statements were made in jest. Signatures after 1962 include the S as well. So I'm back to putting a period after "S" in Harry S. Truman.

Oooh, here's something I didn't know. When Truman was read the oath of office, Chief Justice Stone began with "I, Harry Shipp Truman . . . " Truman responded with, "I, Harry S. Truman . . . ."

And one more thing while I'm at it. I'm not very good at knowing what number was each President. I know the first few, with Washington obviously at #1.
And I know Lincoln was #16. The Bush presidencies help with George Sr. known as "41" and Junior as "43." But it's hard to find another "base" to count up or down. I just realized this . . . Truman was the 33rd President. I know that because FDR, elected in 1932, was our 32nd President. #32 elected in '32. OK, I think I wasted enough of your time.

The saddest part about the end of summer is I will no more be able to hear the Nissan Summer Savin' Days commercial jingle to the tune of "Summer Love" in "Grease."
"Summer savings, Nissan's a blast . . . ."
I think if I heard that one more time the TV was going through the window.

Is the world's greatest marathoner Meb Keflezighi married? I need to know because I can't help but wonder if he has the stamina to go shopping with his wife at the mall for an afternoon. My belief is there is no man that strong.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Bob House
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike