CBS

Show #3724
Howard Stern and Jason Aldean.
PLUS: A Mistake at the Convention; a Surprise at the Convention; Biff at the Convention; Weekend Late Show; and a Top Ten List.

" . . . and now, Bowzer from Sha Na Na . . . . . David Letterman"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE
- "Fashion Week statistics: The September issue of Vogue weighs more than Katy Moss.
- "Scarlett Johannson spoke out in support of Obama. I think I'm going to wait to hear what Katherine Heigl has to say."

And for my notes: ODD DAVE - Dave pumping with two hands on a ketchup dispenser. Two times during the monologue and then a third.

Did you see what happened at the Democratic National Convention today? Ouch. Talk about a mistake! We take a look.
We see and hear the beginning of the Democratic Conventions. Over the public address system, we hear, "Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the Kenyan National Anthem . . . ."

Political conventions often like to book a surprise speaker and the Democrats have scored quite a coup for their convention. We take a look at how they got.
We cut to Mitt Romney at the Democratic Convention. Wow! I guess everybody has their price.

ACT 2:
BIFF HENDERSON AT THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION
What was Biff up to today? Biff says, "Not much. Just trying to cover things like. . . . (turns to convention behind him) . . . this." Dave asks who is that talking at the lectern on the podium below. Biff takes a gander and reads off of something: "Patty Murray" - Senator from Washington. Dave tells Biff to give her a shout-out. Biff turns and yells, "Hellooooooo, Patty!"
And that's all we have for tonight.

Time now to take a look at what's in store on the "Weekend Late Show" this Saturday.
We come upon Bruce and Linda at the familiar desk of the Late Show. It is adorned with festive flowers and light-hearted decor of a weekend morning program
LINDA: "Thanks, Dave. I know you're having lots of laughs tonight, but we have more in store for Saturday. Japanese comedian Hitoshi Matsumoto will join us . . . with a translator . . . to give us a taste of stand-up comedy from across the Pacific."
BRUCE: "Origato . . . . hey, football season is finally here and that means tailgate parties! Our love and relationship expert, Dee Dorsey, is going to introduce us to three different married couple who first met in stadium parking lots."
LINDA: "Oh, that's so sweet! And with the kids going back to school, we'll kick off our Lunchbox Surprise series featuring creative ideas for packing a lunch. Your little ones will be the envy of the cafeteria."
BRUCE: "All that, plus electrifying a fence, motor home rentals, and 'Does your supermarket have a hidden agenda?' Saturday on the 'Weekend Late Show.'"
LINDA: "Back to you, Dave."

TOP TEN: SIGNS IT'S TIME FOR A FLIGHT ATTENDANT TO RETIRE
7. In-flight movie is footage of his latest colonoscopy
6. Spends most of the flight smoking
2. He hasn't experienced the 'full upright position' in years.
1. Spends most flights talking to an empty seat.

ACT 3:
HOWARD STERN
Howard is the day to two girls and Dave asks for some advice. Wait! What? Parenting advice from Howard? Dave has been fine with Harry going to school but now that he's in the 3rd grade, Dave doesn't want him to be exposed to the goons and nutcases out there in 3rd. Howard understands the concern. He then wonders back to the day when he and Dave were in 3rd grade and wonders if it was "them" who were the goons and nutcases. Maybe it was the kids like Dave and Howard who were to be avoided. I found elementary school was easy. Just wait until Middle School and the dreaded 7th and 8th grade. Yeesh. Now that's a tough time for kids.
Howard has a new hobby: photography. We see a recent photo he took of his wife, Beth. Hmmm, I can see why he took up photography. Howard is interested in photographing couple and offers Dave a free session. Dave declines with thanks.
Conversation turns to having the desire for more kids. Howard admits to using a condom. Does Dave? Dave doesn't answer but admits he can't keep enough of them in the house. Howard loves his new job as judge on "America's Got Talent. Fellow judge Sharon Osbourne realized that there is the radio Howard and the TV America's Got Talent Howard. Howard can be crude and raunchy, and he can be clean and supportive. Dave suspects there is a third Howard, the real Howard. Howard says he is delighted that people now see him as human, that he can be nice. It's important for people to see that side. Howard says he would love to see that side of Dave. Howard shares a story he heard about Dave attending the Bar Mitzvah of Paul's son. Dave attended with his son, Harry, and Howard heard the women there were weeping to see Dave in such a loving and tender moment. They were thrilled to see Dave that way. Howard says the same is happening to him now. He says little kids call out to him because they love him on "America's Got Talent." Howard gushes, "They don't know I'm butt bongo fiesta!

Howard then talks about being a judge on the AGT. Judges Howie Mandel and Sharon Osbourne have their signature move when on camera. Howard had to find his own. Dave offers a suggestion. The signature move Dave suggested would be more appropriate for radio, I think.
Sharon Osbourne is leaving as judge on America's Got Talent. Who will take her place? If it's up to Howard's mother, it would be Queen Latifah. That's not a bad choice!

Howard is forcing himself to get out of the house more and has become good friends with Jimmy Kimmel. Howard attended an engagement party for Jimmy and his wife-to-be in the Hamptons. Howard says Worldwide Pants exec producer Rob Burnett was there kissing up to Kimmel and Fallon. Howard says he was disgusted to watch kissing up that way. Dave says he knows what will unfold in the TV's late night society but isn't saying anything. Oooh, do tell, do tell!

Howard Stern - always lively and exciting and willing to say anything, and when you think of it, why not say anything and everything? He's still making me laugh all these years since his days at WNBC and his watching "Jeopardy" on the radio.

The Howard Stern Show - on the SiriusXM radio. And "America's Go Talent" - the big two-part finale is next Wednesday and Thursday.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE:
"Catch tomorrow's Late Show with Dave and his guests, First Lady Michelle Obama, and The Chevin. Visit cbs.com/lateshow to watch Jason Aldean Live on Letterman. Jason's exclusive online concert form the Ed Sullivan Theater can be streamed on demand. You so crazy!"

ACT 7:
JASON ALDEAN: From his upcoming album, "Night Train," the Country Music Award's recently nominated "Entertainer of the Year" performed "Take A Little Ride."

And that was our show for Thursday September 6, 2012.

WAHOO EXTRA
By now I should know that whenever Dave talks to an airline pilot or something to do with planes, the question that always comes up is "How many hours do you have?" I should have had the number of hours the retiring airline attendant had in the air for the Top Ten. Dang it. I didn't have it. A quick look on the internets doesn't give me the answer, though it is reported that 83-year-old Ron Akana flew over 200 million miles as a flight attendant. Give or take some mph, let's say a plane flies 500 mph. 200 million divided by 500 gives me 400,000 hours in the air for the attendant with the 63-year career. I think planes fly at about 600 mph, but I'm not sure how long they've been going that fast. 400,000 hours is as good a guess as any.

I came across this on the Facebook today:
"A best friend is like a four leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have." The quote was credited to Sarah Jessica Parker.
C'mon, Sarah Jessica Parker? Really? I like SJP but . . . .so I did some research I found that "A best friend is like a four leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have" was originated by Ralph Waldo Emerson. Unless he stole it from Sarah Jessica Parker.

I was out shopping at the mall the other day as part of "family time". I was amazed at how many people pay to advertise for multi-million and billion dollar companies. You can buy a white t-shirt for $3, or pay $10 for the same white t-shirt with a Nike logo on it. If you wear a shirt with a Nike logo on it, shouldn't Nike be paying YOU to promote their product? Take your pick: Aeropostale, Abercrombie, Hollister, American Eagle . . . clothes with their name on it and you pay extra for it. It shouldn't make sense. I guess the same could be said about wearing a Yankee shirt, but at least a shirt with a team name on it suggests your allegiance to a team. I mean, if I'm in Ireland and I see a guy with a Yankee shirt, we might start up a conversation about the '68 Yankees and Steve Hamilton's folly floater. If I see another person with an Abercrombie shirt, I'm not going go up to him and talk about A&F's 2006 hoodie. You're a person. You're paying a company to wear their logo and to do their advertising. If you were a billboard, they would pay you!
Wow, this barrel is empty. I got nothing today. This is a struggle.

Back to the flight attendant who flew 200 million miles over a 63 year career. I suggested he spent 400,000 hours in the air. Hmmmm.
400,000 hours divided by 63 years equals 6,350 hours a year. . . .equals 122 hours a week . . . . equals 17 hours a day. BUZZ! That's too many hours for every day of the year. Half that is closer, but probably still too high at 61 hours a week but at least that's a ballpark number to start with. And that's without vacation. But, if Ron went on vacation by plane, does that total . . . oh, forget it.

So, Ron Akana, the flight attendant with 63 years on the job, logged a bit less than 200,000 hours. And isn't that what the control room called in? Nice work.

And now, next week's previously-viewed programs
FRIDAY: From August 29; #3720 - First Lady Michelle Obama, and The Chevin.
MONDAY: From August 23; #3717 - Kathy Griffin, Michael Somerville, and Josh Turner.
TUESDAY: From July 17; #3703 - Roseanne Barr, Aubrey Plaza, and Jeff the Brotherhood.
WEDNESDAY: From August 28; #3719 - Amy Adams, Paul Teutul and Paul Teutul Jr., and Hacienda. Plus: Andy Kindler from the Republican National Convention.
THURSDAY: From August 27; #3718 - Jake Gyllenhaal; Sharon Osbourne; and Neon Trees. Plus: Andy Kindler from the Republican National Convention
FRIDAY: From June 28; #3697 - Blake Lively, and Dree Brees.

Check the Wahoo archives and make your plans accordingly.
Come to think of it, some of these shows are still available on the website. Check the Wahoo archives and watch it now if you want.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It was his birthday yesterday, weeping over the Giants loss and Ramapo Senior High School alum, it's Walter Cullen.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike