CBS

Show #3737
Craig Ferguson, Anna Kendrick, and The Raveonettes.
PLUS: a Debate Highlight; Body Language; Depression Medication; Jim Lehrer: Tough Gig; What's New with Mitt; a Top Ten List; Funding Cut at PBS; a Simulation of Mitt Romney in the Guest Chair.

" . . . . and now, unauthorized iguana breeder . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE
- "Moderator Jim Lehrer is being criticized. In the next debate, they're bringing back Billy Crystal."

Were you one of the 60 million who watched the Presidential debate? For the other 240 million, here is a highlight.
ART CARD: "Highlights from Last Night's Presidential Debate"
We see Mr. Mitt smacking his lips time and time again. Hey, why not? He ate Obama for lunch.

Dave is a student of body language. You can learn a lot about a person just by watching how he handles his self. Posture, mannerisms, eye contact . . . they can tell you a lot. Did you see Obama at the debate? He kept looking down, rarely making eye-contact with Romney. Dave knows why. He has people who were at the debate and they saw what the deal was. We see a part of the debate. While Romney speaks, Obama is looking down.
We see why. His head was down because he was watching a TV show on this iPhone. I'm not sure what show it was. The script read: "an episode of '2 Broke Girls' or 'How I Met Your Mother.'" Not sure if either one was used. I was unfamiliar with the clip. I don't watch as much TV as the President.

Advertisers are really amazing. They don't miss a trick and they are so quick to jump on what is current. Did you see the commercial that immediately followed the debate Wednesday night? We take a look
ANNOUNCE: "When you're depressed, where do you want to go? Nowhere. Who do you feel like seeing? No one. Depression hurts in so many ways." We see clips of sad folks. We then see clips of Obama from last night's debate.
ANNOUNCE: "Sadness, loss of interest, anxiety. Ask your doctor about Cymbalta. Depression hurts. Cymbalta can help." We finish with Michelle hugging her husband Barack on stage.

And now, "Jim Lehrer: Tough Gig." Moderating a debate is no easy task. We take a look at some trouble Mr. Lehrer had. Mitt and Barack constantly ignore Jim Lehrer's requests to keep on track and to move on to the next question. His requests are talked over by the two candidates.
Tough gig? But he did nothing!

ACT 2:
The Presidential campaign finally took a turn off the redundancy of the campaign trail. Dave welcomed the debate and wonders why we couldn't have done this months ago, years ago, instead of putting us through the ennui of a two-year campaign.
Dave was impressed with Mitt's performance last night. For months Mitt has been a scared to come on the Late Show with Dave, but after last night's performance, Dave has become the one who is scared. Dave says he got into some trouble recently for referring to Mitt Romney as "yellow" for not coming on the show. Dave got a call from the head of the Mormons, Murray Sugarman. Murray doesn't like Dave calling the Republican nominee "Yellow." Before hanging up, Sugarman labeled Dave "Snow boy." Dave is not sure why. He doesn't get the reference. Could Sugarman have mistaken Dave for Mark Cotgrove, also known as Snowboy, a UK-based Afro-Cuban percussionist, bandleader, DJ, music critic, journalist and music promoter (from the Wikipedia)? I doubt it. Maybe Sugarman said "Show boy"?

TOP TEN PRESIDENT OBAMA EXCUSES - why such a poor performance Wednesday night?
8. "Didn't want to wake Jim Lehrer."
3. "Skipped rehearsal, just like Letterman."
2. "Why don't you ask bin Laden how I did?"
1. "It's Bush's fault"

I've been tossing some Top Ten jokes into the basket this week. These were the ones I put in as I ran by.
- I was dizzy from the smell of Vitalis
- I never stood so close to someone so handsome.
- I was dazzled by the courtside beauty of Mitt Romney.
- No big deal. It's the best of three, isn't it?
- I thought I was supposed to debate George W.
- It was Bush's fault
- I was coached by Rex Ryan
I don't know if mine was used . . . "It was Bush's fault." I imagine others submitted the same.

Dave has been kind of hard on Mitt these past few weeks. It's understandable why Mr. Romney would pause before agreeing to come on the show. To allay his fears and concerns, we decided to simulate what an interview on the Late Show with Mitt might be like. We hired one of the best actors in the business to play the part of Mr. Mitt.
Dave then introduces Mitt Romney.
The part of Mitt tonight is played by Matthew Broderick.
DAVE: "Thank you for being here, Mitt."
MITT: "Here I am. Let's get this party started!"
DAVE: "So, Governor, practically every pundit agrees that you won last night's debate. How do you think it went?"
MITT: "What, are you drunk? I nailed that sumbitch. Punch the rock."
Mitt raises his fist for Dave to fist bump. Dave and Mitt do the bump.
DAVE: "How are you preparing for the second debate?"
MITT: "I went out and hired some Jewish fellas to write me some killer zingers."
DAVE: "I wish I had done that."
MITT: "Here, let's try one. Pretend you're Obama. Say something . . . say anything."
DAVE: "OK . . . do you really think you can stand up to China?"
MITT: "Kiss my grits, Larry!"
Mitt turns to the band and barks:
MITT: "Hey, who gave you the night off?"
Anton gives the desired drum rimshot.
DAVE: "Do you think the debate will have an effect on Obama's campaign?"
MITT: "Dave, a campaign is like a shark. It's gotta keep moving. And what Obama has here is a dead shark."
DAVE: "Ahh . . . . Woody Allen . . . ."
MITT: "I don't know my writers' names. But they're a hell of a lot funnier than the Mormons! Punch the rock!"
Dave and Mitt fist bump.
DAVE: "Tell me something about your running mate, Paul Ryan."
MITT: "He's a dynamic force on the trail and has injected vitality and enthusiasm into our campaign."
DAVE: "Really?"
MITT: "No. He looks like one of those Little League dads who care a little too much." (laughs) "See that, my Jewish guys are hilarious. Zing! Punch the rock."
Dave and Mitt exchange fist bumps.
DAVE: "A lot of people are upset about your comments regarding cutting funding to PBS."
MITT: "Look, I love the arts. In fact, I'm on my way to see the smash Broadway hit, 'Nice Work If You Can Get It,' starring Kelli O'Hara, Estelle Parsons, and revered luminary of the dramatic arts . . . . Matthew Broderick."
DAVE: "Mitt Romney, ladies and gentlemen."
Mitt exits without the leap and skip of Jack Black.

ACT 3:
CRAIG FERGUSON
He's the host of "The Late Late Show." And he's in town to perform stand-up at the famed Radio City Music Hall. The great theater holds 6,200 and promises to be a great thrill for Craig. Dave is excited for Craig and wonders if it'll be just him in front of the 6,200. Craig questions the need for anyone else? Should he need to juggle? Should he need to drop his pants? Dave suggests he first drop his pants, then juggle.
Craig has moved his "Late Late Show" into a new studio. The old one was small . . . small for a studio, but big for a closet. The old studio held about 100 people. The new one actually has lights. Craig Ferguson --- he'll be performing at the Radio City Music Hall this Saturday, October 6th.

ACT 4:
Mitt has said he will cut funding to PBS if elected. PBS is Sesame Street! How will the cut in funds affect Sesame Street? We take a look at a scene from a recent shoot on Sesame Street. At the familiar brick wall, we "see" the Cookie Monster and Elmo or Oscar or somebody . . . we can't tell because there are no puppets, only human hands. It appears the cut in funding has caused limited appearances by the Sesame Street puppets. The Sesame Street can't afford the puppets any longer, just the hands. In the scene we see the hand that belongs up Cookie Monster gobbling up some cookies.

And now something you will read no place else: the box of remaining cookies from this piece . . . Property Master Pat Farmer gave the box to me. Chips Ahoy Chocolate Chip Cookies. Props can be delicious.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Nothing tomorrow night could be more important than watching Dave and his guests Billy Crystal, and The Wallflowers. Visit cbs.com/lateshow to watch The Wallflowers Live on Letterman! The Wallflowers' exclusive online concert from the Ed Sullivan Theater can be streamed on demand.
I don't want excuses, I want results."

ACT 6:
ANNA KENDRICK
She's was an Academy Award nominee for "Up In The Air" with George Clooney. Anna is now starring in the new film, "Pitch Perfect" about competitive free-style acapella, kinda like Eminem in "8 Mile" . . . or maybe not. Dave saw the film earlier in the day and was impressed with the energy and the exhausting effort put forth by the whole production. Lots of singing and dancing. Can Anna sing? Well, yeah! She was nominated for a Tony Award for "High Society" when she was a mere 12 years old.
Can she demonstrate her singing prowess? Yes, she can, and she can do some cup-instrumental to accompany. From the guest chair with a plastic cup, a clap, a tap, and a song, Anna performs the little ditty, "You're Sure Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone." Very impressive. In fact, I give you permission to click off the Wahoo for a minute and watch it on the Late Show website. I'll be here when you get back.
"Pitch Perfect" - it opens Friday.

ACT 7:
THE RAVEONETTES: From their new album, "Observator," The Raveonettes performed "She Owns The Streets."

And that was our show for Thursday October 4, 2012.

WAHOO EXTRA:
I doubt I was the only one but all day long I was softly singing to myself the commercial jingle, "Goobers and the Raveonettes."

Hey, check it out!
You like movies? You like photographs? You like New York City? You like movies that were shot in New York City? Do you like photographs of movies shot in New York City? If you answered yes to one or more, check out . http://PhilmFotos.tumblr.com
It's the genius of former Late Show staffer, Chris Moloney at work. Stop in and take a look. He's Canadian, a Toronto Maple Leafs fan, and he's Canadian. Interesting dude. Chris, if you're reading this, you're the first person I ever referred to as "dude."

And right after checking out Moloney's project, be sure to watch the Tony Mendez Show. I know, I know, nobody wants to but I'm in this week's presentation. Right after my scene was shot, a higher-up came to my office and told me and Tony to keep it down. They were in a meeting next door. I know what you're thinking: "Mike has a higher-up?"

Let's go Orioles and A's! Great story! Just don't hurt my Yankees, please.

Friday night! You don't want to miss Walter Kim's performance!
Jay Johnson's piece was cut this week.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From the Hospital of Special Surgery, on his birthday, it's Eddie O'Connell
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike